Jump to content

Everything and the Kitchen Sink

  • entries
    22
  • comments
    68
  • views
    4,090

I'm not 100%, but I'm here.


Cartmann99

1,078 views

A few of you may have noticed that I fell off the face of the earth in mid-January. I had planned on cutting back on my FJ time to try and get some home improvement projects finished before a mid-May deadline, but not to go away completely. I was planning out what projects were most important to have finished, and then all Hell broke loose.

My Mother unexpectedly died, and I'm one of those who needs something physical to do while I grieve, so I've been busy cooking, baking, and working on our house. Baseboards don't complain if you rip them off the wall and yell obscenities as you throw them across the room. The walls don't mind when you throw a rolling pin at them because pie crust doesn't come easy for you. Salespeople, on the other hand, get a wee bit testy if you scream at them to get off your porch and direct them to have intimate relations with rusty farm equipment. 

I'm working my way through the "firsts" as the calendar works it's way through the year. Special days come and go for the first time with no phone call or card from or to my Mother to mark the occasion. No more wondering what to buy her for her birthday, Mother's Day, or Christmas. No more mischievous grins as I ask if she liked the case of toilet paper I sent her.

No more discussions of holiday menus or her reminding me that her favorite times were back when her family would drive out to West Texas to see us, and she was cooking for a whole house full of family and friends. Her mobility had decreased over the last few years to where she could no longer stand long enough to cook like that, so I always offered to cook or help cook when I went to see her so she could once again feed a house full of people.

I'm the only one left who knows how to make some of her recipes. When I went back for the funeral, I ended up giving an impromptu chicken fried steak lesson the evening after we buried her. My family is very food-focused, and it was something I could do to help keep those traditions alive and show my appreciation to the relatives who put us up while we were there. We went back again last month to see her headstone, and I made more chicken fried steak, and gave another lesson on how to make her tacos. When we left, there were enough leftovers to last at least three days.

I think Mom would have approved. 

 

 

IMG_20160113_194418_hdr.jpg

  • Upvote 7

8 Comments


Recommended Comments

samurai_sarah

Posted

I'm so sorry for your loss. And glad you're back.

  • Upvote 5
Link to comment
Palimpsest

Posted

I am so sorry about your loss.  The first year is always so hard.  My thoughts are with you and your family.

It is lovely to see you back - and can you share some of her recipes with us too?

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Grimalkin

Posted

      I am glad you are back. Sorry for your loss.

       I second Palmpiset's request for her recipes! I have my grandmother's/ mom's recipe book and am planning on putting the recipes on sites like Recipezazz and food.com and using thier names in the recipes with a blurb about the history of that recipe. Food was/is important to them and I think it's a way to honer thier memory. Internet is forever! I like hearing people's food traditions when looking at recipes. I know there are others who do the same. Just a thought if you wanted to. We have blogs here too. 

      Anyway, glad you are back.

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
CTRLZero

Posted

Welcome back, and my condolences.  I've missed your postings, and would love to see your mom's recipes.  Take care.

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how hard it is.

I was just talking about you recently, hoping you'd come back.  When we started the Feed Jinger blog you were one of the first people who came to mind because I love the way you blog about food.

Really glad you're back - you were definitely missed around here.

 

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Cartmann99

Posted

Thank you all for your kind words!  As those of you who have been through this know, it's a jumbled mess of good days and bad days as I slowly work my way to my new normal. 

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
MarblesMom

Posted

My condolences on your loss.  It is indeed a hard time to lose Mom.

Welcome back :)

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Khan

Posted

I am so sorry for your loss. Please, if and when you are up to it, share some recipes with us?

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Posts

    • Mama Mia

      Posted

      2 hours ago, viii said:

      Likely to honour Isla. So far Jill seems to grieve her publicly, much like Lauren did with her first loss. 

      I think she may be doing a pregnancy announcement, just from some of the posing, but either way I think the bear is to honor and include Isla. She posts a lot about her. I kinda think that may be why she was less involved with Jana’s wedding, rather than some deeper sibling issue. It was pretty soon after her loss, she was clearly deeply grieving, Jana may have just not wanted to ask her to do a bunch of stuff during that time. I doubt they are super close, but they seem to get along well enough. 

    • LillyP

      Posted

      It's funny because as a mom of two young kids (6 & 3) I am very much a "time and place" person when it comes kids in public spaces. I think that 100% yes kids have a right to be in public places, and kids in restaurants and planes and places are just a part of life. BUT, I do think there is such a thing as using common sense and I feel like wayyyy too many parents these days feel entitled to bring their kids to places that while it's within their right to do so, it's probably not appropriate. 

      I do admit though that I am probably slightly biased on the subject because as a wedding & family photographer I see it alllll the time. I'm team no kids at weddings, which is always a hot topic. And for me it really boils down to the fact that weddings are formal events and *most* of the time the kids are a big disruption. And it's not that they're being bad, *they're just being kids*. Unfortunately too many parents just either a) don't pay attention or keep their kids in check, or b) are watching their kids and find nothing wrong with their behavior. 

      We are relatively strict parents when it comes to behavior, dare I say "old school". We take our kids out to restaurants A LOT, we fly with them regularly, etc. No kids are perfect, and no matter how strict you are every kid has their moments, tantrums, etc. IMO the difference is in how you handle it and doing so in a way that it doesn't disrupt other people. That might not be a popular opinion, but I absolutely feel that while it's my right to take my kids out to dinner, it's also the right of the other patrons to not listen to my kids yell and scream and be annoying.

    • treehugger

      Posted

      I really think it depends where you live as to what attitudes people have towards kids. I always felt really insecure about having my kids in public in Southern Ontario (where mega families were common) because people were unbelievably judgy about how they behaved and my parenting in general.
       

      Then we moved to downtown Montreal, where having more than 1 kid was considered a big family, and everyone is just so kind and supportive and encouraging. No one batted an eye at them. I swear that’s why we moved here. 

      • Upvote 1
    • LillyP

      Posted

      I feel like they're just regular old Fall family portraits...it's that time of year! All my clients are getting on the books for their Christmas card photos now too. At first I thought maybe an announcement based on the bear with pink ribbon, but I actually think it's more possible that is just to honor the loss they had. I can't imagine they'd give that much away prior to a big announcement. I could be wrong though.

      • Upvote 2
    • GuineaPigCourtship

      Posted

      My bet is it's all for show so they're not changing anything.  After all, these people side hugged their own kids.

      • Upvote 1


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.