Life sucks a lot
Today I talked to someone who doesn't believe in God about why I do believe. It's funny because I'm feeling hopeless right now, feeling like if there is a God, he might not like me at all. I believe in him, I guess. I find peace in praying and trusting in him but sometimes life hits me really hard that I can't assure his existence anymore. When I get these feelings of loneliness I start to question everything about my life.
I've never had emotional stability or feel less lonely. I'm just here waiting for the moment when everything will go downhill because that's the way my life works. Something good then everything goes horribly. Life was going great, now i'm having the worst day I've had in a long time. It's like I can't even enjoy happiness or joy anymore because I know what's coming next. It sucks so much seeing everyone being loved one way or another, and here I am alone as always, feeling like my mother should have aborted me because maybe the world would be better and I wouldn't be suffering this much. I know I shouldn't feel that way but I can't help it. I have SO MUCH love to give, and heck! I give so much love! I'm such a loyal and sweet person, I don't know why things go this way and I'm not good enough, not even for my family.
Maybe I'm just destined to be abandoned or alone and that's it. Everyone I know can get their happiness but me. And I try to be completely stoked about my career that's moving forward but I guess my career won't hug me at night. Can I just get a break? From life?
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