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Making Friends after 25


Maggie Mae

1,653 views

 

When I was a kid, until I was, oh, 5 or so, friends were easy. I was friends with the children of my parents friends who were my age. 

Then we moved. And we moved again and again and again. Even when we weren't moving every few years, for some reason my parents thought it would be best to put me in different schools every so often. This wasn't as big of a deal as other people made it out to be. Especially since I knew that as soon as I went to college I'd have to leave everyone behind anyway.. 

Anyway, so I had this hope that someday, in college, I'd have this zany group of friends and we'd get up to hijinks. 

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Or at something like this

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I'd dreamed of late nights with long intelligent conversations about art and music and humanity. With wacky hijinks. 

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But instead it was more like this

 

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And I told myself that since I was going to move away after college it didn't matter that much. (I had a few friends, btw. Just nothing like the "serious deep friendships" that I was lead to believe happened in college.)

I was going to move away and then this would be my life! 

 

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Let's not talk about Carrie's fashion choices or my version of her outfit (complete with headscarf.) Never mention it again. I have hopefully removed all photos from the internet. 

There was never this in my future. 

 

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Why are they all touching? That's WEIRD. Stop touching! Go get jobs! How do you afford your apartment? Even with the rent control, it's unbelievable. 

I have, however, in the last ten years managed to make friends who I don't work with, go to school with, or am otherwise forced to socialize with. But that leads me to the next problem with friends. 

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The goodbye party. 

Sometimes they are fun. 

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They are always sad. 

Anyway, so one day I had this:

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And now I am back to this. 

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Which is also nice. 

 

  • Upvote 8

3 Comments


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violynn

Posted

Dang, I thought this would be a mournful post about how hard it is to make friends after 25.  This is about all the friends you've had and left :).   Fun photos!

  • Upvote 2
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ClaraOswin

Posted

I went to the same school from pre-k through 12th grade....but otherwise....I can completely relate to this post.

  • Upvote 2
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  • Posts

    • LillyP

      Posted

      It's funny because as a mom of two young kids (6 & 3) I am very much a "time and place" person when it comes kids in public spaces. I think that 100% yes kids have a right to be in public places, and kids in restaurants and planes and places are just a part of life. BUT, I do think there is such a thing as using common sense and I feel like wayyyy too many parents these days feel entitled to bring their kids to places that while it's within their right to do so, it's probably not appropriate. 

      I do admit though that I am probably slightly biased on the subject because as a wedding & family photographer I see it alllll the time. I'm team no kids at weddings, which is always a hot topic. And for me it really boils down to the fact that weddings are formal events and *most* of the time the kids are a big disruption. And it's not that they're being bad, *they're just being kids*. Unfortunately too many parents just either a) don't pay attention or keep their kids in check, or b) are watching their kids and find nothing wrong with their behavior. 

      We are relatively strict parents when it comes to behavior, dare I say "old school". We take our kids out to restaurants A LOT, we fly with them regularly, etc. No kids are perfect, and no matter how strict you are every kid has their moments, tantrums, etc. IMO the difference is in how you handle it and doing so in a way that it doesn't disrupt other people. That might not be a popular opinion, but I absolutely feel that while it's my right to take my kids out to dinner, it's also the right of the other patrons to not listen to my kids yell and scream and be annoying.

    • treehugger

      Posted

      I really think it depends where you live as to what attitudes people have towards kids. I always felt really insecure about having my kids in public in Southern Ontario (where mega families were common) because people were unbelievably judgy about how they behaved and my parenting in general.
       

      Then we moved to downtown Montreal, where having more than 1 kid was considered a big family, and everyone is just so kind and supportive and encouraging. No one batted an eye at them. I swear that’s why we moved here. 

      • Upvote 1
    • LillyP

      Posted

      I feel like they're just regular old Fall family portraits...it's that time of year! All my clients are getting on the books for their Christmas card photos now too. At first I thought maybe an announcement based on the bear with pink ribbon, but I actually think it's more possible that is just to honor the loss they had. I can't imagine they'd give that much away prior to a big announcement. I could be wrong though.

      • Upvote 2
    • GuineaPigCourtship

      Posted

      My bet is it's all for show so they're not changing anything.  After all, these people side hugged their own kids.

      • Upvote 1
    • Howl

      Posted

      5 hours ago, sleepygirl1 said:

      Catch me up on the Bradrick family? Are they the ones that had a daughter in law wear a yellow wedding dress?

      Bradrick! and wife #1 Kelly were the darlings and the couple-of-the-year and marriage of the year  amonst the Vision Forum elite.

      Kelly and Bradrick! proceeded to quickly have six children before the perfect marriage imploded and Kelly sued for divorce, based on...nobody knows for sure.  I

      n the meantime,  Vision Forum had imploded because Doug Phillips was exposed as a sexual predator;  the Vision Forum gravy train left the station and left Bradrick! high and dry.  The young couple headed to the Pacific Northwest where Bradrick!'s family lives and Bradrick! became a realtor.  There's a classic photo of Kelly pregnant and maybe even barefoot, standing on the deck outside their mobile home on a damp day, surrounded by very young children. She looked so...over it. 

      Bradrick! stayed in the Pacific Northwest and Kelly and six kids flounced home to daddy Scottie Brown and then she married the current husband. 

       



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