Keeping Up With The Dunkels - A Fundie Legacy - Chapter 4
Before we begin, I have to apologize. I previously stated that Andrew Dunkel was Blessing #4, but I was wrong - he was Blessed Blessing #5! Despite what Wilbur and Cathy may think, the twins are not, in fact, a single entity.
Now, on with the show.
House reno! Kids are expensive, but they're also great for grifting! It was slow going, but the Dunkels were gradually bringing in enough money from their hard earned grifting to at least survive.
School of the dining room... floor?
Adam became a teenager! "Happy Birthday, Adam! You are such a diligent young man who loves Jesus and has a servant's heart! We're so excited to see where the Lord leads you!" Adam took his role as eldest brother very seriously, and his most cherished dream was to follow in the footsteps of his father by finding a godly young woman to marry and then mercilessly impregnate over and over again for the next 25 years.
Adam also enthusiastically embraced his family's grifting activities. He learned from the best!
Cathy appeared somewhat conflicted to learn that she was expecting Blessing #8, but quickly corrected her countenance. Children are SUCH a blessing! Babies are like flowers, they wilt and die if you have more of them than you can care for. Wait, no, that's not it... you can never have too many flowers. Yeah, that's right - never too many flowers!
Hey, remember the second set of Dunkel twins? Well, here they are becoming toddlers! Their names are Adalyn and Avalee, by the way. Don't worry, Cathy has a tough time remembering, too.
"Hey, guys. Uh... remember me? I'm your son, Andrew! Your 4th 5th blessing! Guys? ...Guys? Does anyone have normal pajamas I could borrow?"
"Happy Birthday, Abigail! You are such a sweet young lady with a heart for the Lord and a charitable spirit! We can't wait to see where God leads you!" Actually, the truth was that though Wilbur and Cathy tried to hide it, they were disappointed in Abigail and VERY concerned about her testimony. Whereas their precious eldest son Adam was everything they wished and more, Abigail complained about her chores, complained about having to homeschool the children, and seemed to want to do nothing more than play games and goof around. Her parents prayed fervently that the Lord would convict her to repent and be a proper young lady... (Adam rolled the 'Family' aspiration. Abigail rolled 'Pleasure'. Uh oh!)
As Cathy went into labour, her concerned children raced into the room to assist with the delivery!
Adam was thrilled to have a new baby brother, Abel Dunkel! No one else seemed to care.
10 people living in one house with only one bathroom was beginning to take its toll. But Wilbur insisted that they not do more renovations until they had grifted enough to be sure of staying out of debt. If that meant peeing on the floor, so be it.
Aimee Joy was very diligent about practicing her homemaking skills. She was going to make a wonderful wife and mommy one day (very soon)!
Aimee Joy was also very diligent about helping with the family grifting. Wilbur and Cathy had great hopes that she would not turn out like disappointment Abigail, seen on the far left squandering time by playing with the toy car. Bless her heart!
Wilbur entered a new season of life. He took it philosophically, content in the knowledge that his wife at least was still young enough to impregnate a few more times.
"Yeah, girl! Work it! NO ONE rocks a pioneer dress like YOU, baby!" Oh dear. Abigail, on top of being lazy and disobedient, had now developed a nasty streak of VANITY. Her parents CRIED OUT TO THE LORD for her salvation, when they weren't busy babymaking or collapsing in exhaustion from dealing with their umpteen other children.
Adalyn and Avalee had soon left the toddler stage behind them, and entered childhood. And not a moment too soon, because there were infants to care for, floors to sweep, and toilets to clean!
Quick reminder that Abel exists and became a toddler.
Yes, God smiled upon Cathy again and placed another precious gift to grow in her blessed womb. Nine months later, it was time to welcome yet another Dunkel into the world. There's nothing quite like going into labour and giving birth while five of your children surround you and shout in terror!
"Oh God, not ANOTHER ONE," thought Abigail, as she was introduced to her brand new baby brother, Asher Dunkel!
Thanks for tuning in again! Next time on Keeping Up With The Dunkels: Will Cathy and Wilbur manage to produce the coveted blessing #10 before the Lord sees fit to close Cathy's womb? Will they remember that their non-twin children exist? Will Wilbur finally grift enough to put in a second bathroom and buy a kitchen table? Will singsingsing find a skin set to download so the men don't look like they're wearing eyeliner all the time?
- 13
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