Chapter 22: Along the Corridor

Mr. Willy Wonka points out to the rapidly diminishing crowd that there are three "good" children left, and two "naughty little children gone." Charlie, bless his little poverty stricken heart, has the sense to ask Mr. Wonka if Violet will ever be OK again. Mr. Wonka assures Charlie that Violet will be "de-juiced" (I think just "juiced" works here, tbh) and will come out "thin as a whistle" although, she'll be purple. Mr. Wonka drives home his hatred of gum by saying "That's what comes from chewing disgusting gum all day long!" I'm hoping this isn't some weird hang up of Roald Dahl. But I just need to throw an "ok, boomer" at Mr. Willy Wonka for being so absurd to think that an acceptable punishment for bad manners is having your skin died purple. I'm also going to hope and pray (in the American sense, I'm not religious, but we ALWAYS send our hopes and prayers to every preventable tragedy.) that it will NOT be permanent. Skin cells regenerate every 27 days or so. Perhaps Violet will just "fade" while she recovers, and the gum didn't create some sort of lasting DNA change.

Mike Teavee, the other American child, asks why Mr. Wonka sells gum if it's so disgusting. Mr. Wonka, like many adults, pretends to not hear the reasonable question asked by a child. Gene Wilder's portrayal of Mr Wonka is just too wholesome and clouds the fact that Wonka is a monster.

Wonka finds a secret door. (I do SO love books with secret doors and passageways. One of my favorite parts of the "Three Investigators" series is the elaborate way the kids get to their super secret lair. I thought the "underground railroad" was literately a series of tunnels from barns to houses and town to town until I was ... well, let's not talk about that.) 

They are back in a "long pink corridor" with lots of other corridors and doors. Doors marked with things that could be for Wonka's adult line, like "eatable marshmallow pillows" and "lickable nursery wall paper." I mean, obviously the "scratch and taste" wall paper is for toddlers, but I'm guessing it covers the entire wall. You put that in a nursery for one reason, and i doubt it's because you want to teach your infant to lick the walls if they are hungry. We have the discussion about snozzberrys and Wonka ignores the obvious question, just like in the film.

Cows that give chocolate milk, because obviously the process of adding chocolate to milk is difficult or time consuming. Better to create a new type of cow. Veruca wants to know why they can't look in each room. Wonka yells at her for being impatient. Wonka is every male ED/CEO/Business Guy Type I've met since entering the disappointing world of "work." Energetic, condescending, unfocused, rude, dismissive, and praised for it. 

They also pass by the "Fizzy Lifting Drinks" and the room with "Hot Ice Cream for Cold Days." Wonka is absolutely horrid when he explains the fizzy lifting drinks.  He says that they lift you up to the ceiling, and to come back down you have to do a "great big long rude burp." He further tells a story about an Ooompa Loompa who drank it outside and couldn't or wouldn't burp. "He must be on the moon by now." ... So we have this capitalist CEO of a candy factory, who is giving a tour to school children, discussing how he has enslaved a population of "Oompa Loompas" to work the factory to avoid corporate espionage. He's testing products on humans (well, oompa loompas.) He's committing all sorts of OSHA-UK violations. I wish I was more familiar with the UK legal system and the HSE requirements.  I'm certain that the pipe that swept Augustus away was not at all in compliance with industry safety standards in the US.  There's also violations of food safety, food handling, and the lack of safety equipment. Everyone should be wearing masks while interacting near the chocolate river, if that chocolate river is going to be usable product. They should be wearing shoe covers and room specfic coveralls. Hair needs to be contained! No one wants to eat your nasty chocolate from a river! What kind of contaminates could be in there? Bugs, for sure. Hair, definitely.  What kind of paint was used?

Anyway, that's it for this chapter. Wonka says that they are going in a room where "Square Candies That Look Round." Which, honestly, is a surprise. I don't remember this bit at all.