Hint: It Ain’t Cheap

In the latest installment, Regina doubts her savior skills, Emma goes gray, and there’s a ball y’all!!!

Tree, Men, and a Baby

The latest curse involves not only memory loss but people turning into trees when stepping over the town line.

In Camelot six weeks ago, our heroes are greeted with fanfare at the royal court of Camelot and learn that Merlin is stuck in a tree. Also, Mary Margaret is carrying baby Prince Neal around with her. I understand her separation anxiety, but she’s on a dangerous quest. She should probably have left that baby back in Storybrooke. Also, she’s traveling with the two women who actually stole her two babies, so there’s that.

Regina lies about who the savior is because she doesn’t want Emma using magic which might unleash her dark powers. But Regina, sweetie, if you’re trying to hide that dagger, you’re doing a lousy job. Everyone can see it under your jacket there.

At the docks, gray-haired Dark Emma is nice to Henry and mean to Regina. The curse is bringing a “problem to Storybrooke that only a savior can solve.â€

A Buxom Beast

Arthur (minus Excalibur) and the people of Camelot have been transported to Storybrooke with the curse, forcing our “heroes†to ‘fess up about the Dark One. And David has apparently gotten his voice back since last week because now he’s bossing around King Arthur as they get a search party together to look for wandering Camelotians.

Robin sets up a tent city for the refugees in the Storybrooke woods. I guess when you’re Robin Hood, tents in a forest are the height of hospitality. (I hope they’ve got a recycling plan for all those water bottles.)

Regina, who apparently got her feelings hurt by Emma, whines to Robin that she may not be up to saving the town. Then, the savior-requiring problem Emma was talking about shows up. It’s a demon with boobs. The boob fiend hauls Robin away despite Regina’s best efforts.

Party at Emma’s (And Her Parents Aren’t There!!)

Emma shows Hook her new home. It’s nice, but blandly decorated. I’ll give her a pass since she just moved in. Oh, and Hook, don’t even ASK about the padlocked door under the staircase leading somewhere mysterious.

Emma, bad girl that she now is, tries to vamp our pretty pirate. But Hook is not that kind of boy and leaves in a huff.

I Can’t Dance, Don’t Ask Me

In Camelot, Percival gives Regina a necklace to wear to the ball. I’m suspicious (and not crazy about the bauble) but neither Regina nor Robin is because that’s how they roll.

When getting ready for the ball, Regina tells the Charmings she doesn’t know how to dance. Not surprisingly, she blames Snow for that. Still, she rocks both outfits she tries out—the sassy and the sweet. Perhaps instead of dancing, she could just do a model walk through the ballroom?

No, Charming insists on teaching her to dance. He also insists on talking about Regina not being the savior—and Percival hears it all through the necklace which is some sort of medieval, one-way Skype machine.

In Storybrooke present, Belle has been reading again! She’s found out that the boob demon is a fury who stole Robin because in Camelot, someone did magic (which always comes with a price). The demon is going to take Robin to the underworld. (I suppose ladies in the underworld are all cursed with D cups. The horror!) He can only be saved if someone gives their life in his place.

At the ball, everyone’s enjoying themselves. Emma cozies up to a dashing Hook. Henry meets a girl who proves that teenage girls are the same in every realm. She is SO OVER fancy balls. Regina dances (too well for someone who just learned) with Robin. But the good times can’t last. Percival knows Regina is the Evil Queen. Apparently he was collateral damage when she burned a town years ago. He tries to kill Regina and a rumpus ensues during which Robin is stabbed.

Savior Psychoanalysis

At Emma’s house, Emma finally gets off her chest how fed up she is with constantly saving everyone’s ass. Now it’s time for Regina to do some savioring. I think we all feel better now.

In Camelot, we see what has pushed Emma over the edge. Regina can’t save Robin, so Emma does. See? It always has to be her. I don’t blame Dark Emma for throwing a fit. Faux Rumple taunts Emma about liking her dark power.

In Storybrooke, the boob demon prepares to take Robin to the underworld. We know this because a boat with a Grim Reaper type shows up on the lake. It’s a “Don’t Pay The Ferryman†situation. Regina is willing to sacrifice herself but doesn’t have to. The heroes save Robin by holding hands. I guess together they are too strong for the buxom fiend, but I can’t understand why, since the only one who has magic is Regina. In any case, the boob demon retreats and the Ferryman backs up comically quickly. Still, all of this has happened to prove to us and to Regina that Regina does, indeed, have what it takes to save Storybrooke.

In Storybrooke at Granny’s everyone worries about Dark Emma and Hook drinks rum. Regina de-statues Sneezy. How can she do that when Dark Emma was the one to statue him in the first place? Isn’t Emma’s dark magic stronger than Regina’s?

Emma stands outside, separated from her friends and family by her darkness. If it’s any consolation, Emma, you look fierce in that black trench. Back at her house, Faux Rumple leads Emma down to the basement to pull the Excalibur from the stone to re-join it with the Dark One Dagger so she can rule the world with her evilness. BWA HA HA. Of course, it’s not as easy as it looks. (And I guess Emma doesn’t remember the mystical movie usher from her youth. I blame the usher. He could have waited until Emma was older to deliver his message. )

In Camelot, Regina admits she’s the Evil Queen. King Arthur forgives her, a little too easily if you ask me—something about Camelot being a place for second chances and all that. Why don’t we see how he feels about second chances when Guinevere gets friendly with Lancelot?

Well, the King Arthur story hasn’t been ruined for me yet, but it’s close. Let’s see how they do next week.  To discuss this episode join us in the forum at http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=13046&start=80