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All Shall Know the Wonder

A blog by purple_summer in General

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purple_summer

Entry posted by purple_summer

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If you've been in the chat room (which you should because we're awesome) at all this week you have probably either heard this story or heard a reference to this story. I'm posting it here after receiving numerous requests to do so.

 

Last week was a friend's bachelorette outing. Naturally we ended up at a sex shop. This is a really nice place with wonderful staff and quite the range of toys. We spend some time perusing the usual "bachelorette" items- sparkly vibrators, skanky lingerie, penis ring toss. Fairly tame stuff. Friend indicates that she really wants to buy a dildo. No big deal, we're all adults here and sometimes a girl has needs. After looking through several racks of products she still hasn't quite found something that fits her desired....dimensions. 

Roughly an hour later we walk out of the store and she is the proud owner of a 10 inch long 2-3ish inch thick dildo. She originally chose one that was approximately the size of a small newborn before the kind shop owner explained that it might not be quite what she wants... We go about the rest of our evening and I head home after dinner.

As soon as I walk through the door I receive a text message simply stating "well I might have to go to the ER. Not enough lube." My friend was so excited about her new toy that she forgot to take the proper precautions. Good news is that she's fine, just some minor bruising and a hit to her pride.

Moral of the story? Don't go long and wide at the same time.

 

 

For those of you who have missed it, here is the link to the full twitter story that is currently going viral- http://imgur.com/a/WDwyW

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Destiny

Destiny 63,196

Posted

she still hasn't quite found something that fits her desired....dimensions. 

Dead. OMFG LOL!

Also, you forgot the part about having to promise to burn the house down so the dildo that was still stuck to the table wasn't found!

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MarblesMom

MarblesMom 48,736

Posted

The best part of the story is that you didn't have to burn her house down to remove evidence.  And the take away is LUBE FOR LIFE, people.

GREAT post.  Now you are hooked and must post more MWAH MWAH MWAH.

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HerNameIsBuffy

HerNameIsBuffy 166,954

Posted

This was a much needed cautionary tale and we've all learned something from the PSA.  And at some point I hope to stop laughing because this was too funny.  :)

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laPapessaGiovanna

laPapessaGiovanna 26,585

Posted

Thanks for the laugh! I needed it.

For time zone problems I never find people in the chat, so keep posting that I want to know what I am missing. Lol..

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  • Posts

    • GreenBeans

      GreenBeans 17,625

      Posted (edited)

      Baby Name Thread 5
      On 10/16/2024 at 5:32 PM, Mama Mia said:

      I googled “fancy old fashioned names” for JinJer and the Bridgerton character names came up- and really I could see any of them :

      Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Hyacinth, Penelope - plus secondary characters like Agatha, Prudence, Phillipa, Portia, Edwina, Cressida, (Charlotte is too popular and I think they’d leave Violet for Jessa) 

      Anthony, Benedict, Gregory all would fit their vibe. The other male names are too short or common I think. 

      Not saying it will happen, but it would be wild if sweet sheltered Jinger used that very steamy show as her source 🤣
       

       

      I have no idea what Bridgerton is (not a sheltered fundie but a lot on my plate with no time for tv or steaming), but these sound so spot on for Jinger and Jeremy!

      After Felicity and Evangeline (?) I could totally see something fancy / old fashioned / French sounding for a girl.

      Adrienne maybe? Or Eleanor? Or Adeline (though that would be too similar to Evangeline maybe)? I could also see something like Violet.

      Something classic for a boy. Fundies love to go cutesy / creative for girls’ names and traditional for boys’ names.

      Do Jinger’s and Jeremy’s girls have middle names? I’d expect them to use a virtue or family name as middle name.

      Edited by GreenBeans
      Riffles
    • Radish

      Radish 743

      Posted

      Baby Name Thread 5

      Jinger & Jeremy: Miriam Diana or Owen Jeremy

      • Upvote 1
    • marmalade

      marmalade 26,694

      Posted

      Bontragers/Bowers/Helferichs 14: It's An Insufferable People Contest!

      It's totally going over her head what Grand Oaks Plantation represents. She doesn't appear to have many brain cells in operation.

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 1
    • hoipolloi

      hoipolloi 40,377

      Posted

      Bontragers/Bowers/Helferichs 14: It's An Insufferable People Contest!
      50 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

      If she is blocking 10 people a day, she should make a new name.

      Or at least get a fucking clue. What a dimwit. 

      • Upvote 2
    • marmalade

      marmalade 26,694

      Posted

      Jinger Duggar Vuolo 61
      2 hours ago, HeartsAFundie said:

      Wonder if Felicity will be sister-momming this new sibling?   

      She's praying for a brother, so I imagine she'll be doing lots of sister momming, given she's aware of what's going on. 

      • Upvote 1


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