Maxwell Conferences

[Arete]

Please, no. This is defacement of private property. Not cool.

I promise I'll limit myself to pithy sayings for the love offering if I am ever able to attend. ;)

[Arete]

I'm thinking of putting these phrases and probably some other generic, non-religious positive energy quotes on my cash and just putting them into general circulation. Money criss-crosses the country all the time and it would be very cool if we were able to help someone completely random, just by having our website addy on a $5.

And, I'm definitely getting the $10 Vista print deal and getting some cards to put in any Pearl & Ezzo books I find.

I like this idea of putting a few bills out there and what the heck. It won't cost me anything and there is even a slight chance someone might get some benefit. Ever since thoughtful brought it up, I have vowed if I find a Pearl or Ezzo book in the fleamarket or used bookstore, I will buy and destroy.

[Lillybee]

I noticed that Jesse was wearing a Jesus tie at the Conyers conference. I bet it was a birthday gift. Poor guy.

[WonderingInWA]

I noticed that Jesse was wearing a Jesus tie at the Conyers conference. I bet it was a birthday gift. Poor guy.

All the men/boys in the family have them. The Jesus ties have been around for a few years. Older photos show them all sporting them at conferences.

[Katydid]

Thanks for posting the details. I had been really curious as to what went on in their conferences.

I really, really feel for Teri. Now she's an active participant, but she didn't start out that way. That poor woman.

[BornFree]

"Sprocket, you've given an excellent report! After reading so much about this morbidly fascinating family, your in-person observations were of great interest. One of the things that I've wondered about - were there two book tables - one headed by the sons and the other by the daughters? Does Steve direct male shoppers to one and female to another so that none of the children will have any contact at all with the opposite sex? I think the goal is that none of the daughters, will ever talk to a non family member of the opposite sex (even in the presence of Maxwell family members]) until courtship has been arranged. Love this reporting of the Maxwells on the road - It's unfiltered rather than from (Steve's) website. I would go to a conference myself but they will never show up in my state - unspeakably wicked California!

[Sprocket]

"Sprocket, you've given an excellent report! After reading so much about this morbidly fascinating family, your in-person observations were of great interest. One of the things that I've wondered about - were there two book tables - one headed by the sons and the other by the daughters? Does Steve direct male shoppers to one and female to another so that none of the children will have any contact at all with the opposite sex? I think the goal is that none of the daughters, will ever talk to a non family member of the opposite sex (even in the presence of Maxwell family members]) until courtship has been arranged. Love this reporting of the Maxwells on the road - It's unfiltered rather than from (Steve's) website. I would go to a conference myself but they will never show up in my state - unspeakably wicked California!

No, there was only one book table. Interestingly enough, I didn't see any men hovering around the book table. Schoolin' the youngins is wimmens work! Jessie was stationed behind the table with Sarah and another Maxwell sister. (sorry, I can't really tell them apart.) He was on his computer with his head down the entire time, in case he should, you know appear to be talking with women who are not his sisters.

[moreorlessnu]

I think lipstick would be funny.

Lipstick....lipstick.....how about 4 small cosmetic bags filled with nice lipsticks, lotions, loofah sponge, etc., and a small, discrete FJ business-card-sized message. They could be hand delivered to the girls individually at one of the women only talks.

[Sprocket]

P.S. I am very humbled by all of the thanks. I was giddy with excitement at going. I'm just glad that I was able to report everything back!!!

[WonderingInWA]

Lipstick....lipstick.....how about 4 small cosmetic bags filled with nice lipsticks, lotions, loofah sponge, etc., and a small, discrete FJ business-card-sized message. They could be hand delivered to the girls individually at one of the women only talks.

And a box of condoms.

[bananacat]

This is one of those threads that just make me sad. Steve is a sociopath and he is abusive. He's just like my dad. My dad's one weakness was that he loved to brag about his trophy kids being successful, so I got a good education out of the deal and was eventually able to cut ties completely. My hope for Sarah and the others is that they find some flaw in Steve that they can eventually use to free themselves. Nobody deserves to live with a sociopath.

[Marian the Librarian]

I'm very late to this thread, but want to add my thanks to you, Sprocket, for such an excellent job of reporting. I don't know that I'd be able to sit in the same room with the Maxwells and maintain my composure.

Whoever suggested contacting the rest of the churches on their tour: excellent idea. I think the pastors/ministers/elders at each location deserve to know the depth of dysfunction their members will be exposed to. There is no better disinfectant than sunshine.

And finally, here's the written message I would put into the Maxwells' "love offering" box, if I ever have the chance:

Steve Maxwell, you are sacrificing the lives of your wife, your sons, and your daughters on the altar of your severe mental illness. You are not a well man. There is nothing holy, or protective, or "Christian" about what you are doing to your family. Get help. Now.

[Sola]

Going back to Mary and the 'but I love my daddy thing'. I'm wondering if there's more to it than her simply not considering that she can disagree with her daddy but still love him.

I'm wondering if she's been told that to love her daddy she must obey him and that any dissent is a sign that she doesn't love him.

[LucySnowe]

Awesome report, Sprocket. Thanks very much.

[YPestis]

I wonder if this is the first time the Maxwell kids have heard anything negative about their father? I know the Maxwell kids are taught their strict standards are not the norm and that outsiders would disapprove, and so they just prepare for criticisms. What will it take for the Maxwell kids to start questioning their father? A godly pastor who strongly tells Steve off? A family member (like Melanie) breaking away from the clan? A few broken courtships with at least one girl telling the Maxwells they live a cultish life and are not true Christians? I only hope one day something happens that will finally convince the Maxwell kids they live in a cage.

[Sister Mozz]

Going back to Mary and the 'but I love my daddy thing'. I'm wondering if there's more to it than her simply not considering that she can disagree with her daddy but still love him.

I'm wondering if she's been told that to love her daddy she must obey him and that any dissent is a sign that she doesn't love him.

Yes, yes, yes! There is the thought on fundiedom that children must obey parents the same way Jesus commanded His followers: "If you love me, keep my commandments." Ergo, children do not love their parents if they don't do what they say.

It is truly sick. Young children are not disobeying because they don't love their parents -- they do it because they are children and it is normal and natural to test their boundaries. And adult children need to be given the ability to make their own life choices, not be emotionally manipulated into "loving" their parents through unquestioning obedience. Seriously. This makes me so mad. :angry-steamingears:

[sparkles]

There's an old episode of Law and Order called Tabula Rasa that always reminds me of Steve Maxwell and his family. In the ep, a father is standing trial for the murder of a woman who turns out to be the friend of his ex-wife (he was afraid she's alert the ex). Years ago, after a bitter divorce, he kidnapped their two daughters and disappeared, subsequently remarrying. During the course of the trial, it's revealed that he's kept his family in isolation (cutting the second wife off from her family, not allowing friends, etc), meted out strict discipline for failing to meet his demands for perfection (forcing a toddler to spend unrelenting hour after hour until she had mastered tying her shoes to her father's satisfaction) and so forth. He brainwashed his family into believing that only HE knew what was right and of course, they hung on his every word and only showed brights, shining, happy faces to the world so that everyone believed they were the prefect family. All very Maxwellian. It was only when his wife and oldest daughter took the stand in his defense and had to recite an endless litany of "Dad says this" and "Dad says that" that things began to break down as they realized just how they'd been isolated, misled and manipulated. Thinking back on the ep, the actor who played the father (Jay Sanders?) nailed Steve Maxwell. Same outwardly calm demeanor, same seething rage below the surface, same dead cold eyes.

Of course, the L&O ep wrapped things up quickly and neatly, but it posed an interesting idea. I wonder if the Maxwell children, when faced with the entirety of their upbringing in black and white, wouldn't have a similar epiphany and start to fight back. One can only hope.

[mrsew]

Going back to Mary and the 'but I love my daddy thing'. I'm wondering if there's more to it than her simply not considering that she can disagree with her daddy but still love him.

I'm wondering if she's been told that to love her daddy she must obey him and that any dissent is a sign that she doesn't love him.

YES. I grew up in a very fundie home and knew the Maxwells well. That is exactly what you are told. (dissent or doubt also means you must not love God)

[Sister Mozz]

YES. I grew up in a very fundie home and knew the Maxwells well. That is exactly what you are told. (dissent or doubt also means you must not love God)

Welcome! Sounds like you have an interesting background to share with us. We certainly love Maxwell scoops, as you can see!

I grew up fundie-lite but had never heard of the Maxwells until FJ. I'm very thankful for that, because they're horrifying enough to observe. Can't imagine knowing them/their teachings up close and personal.

[Sola]

YES. I grew up in a very fundie home and knew the Maxwells well. That is exactly what you are told. (dissent or doubt also means you must not love God)

That figures. Steve-O has manipulated his family.

So you knew them? Well come on then, SPILL!

[themadapple]

There's an old episode of Law and Order called Tabula Rasa that always reminds me of Steve Maxwell and his family. In the ep, a father is standing trial for the murder of a woman who turns out to be the friend of his ex-wife (he was afraid she's alert the ex). Years ago, after a bitter divorce, he kidnapped their two daughters and disappeared, subsequently remarrying. During the course of the trial, it's revealed that he's kept his family in isolation (cutting the second wife off from her family, not allowing friends, etc), meted out strict discipline for failing to meet his demands for perfection (forcing a toddler to spend unrelenting hour after hour until she had mastered tying her shoes to her father's satisfaction) and so forth. He brainwashed his family into believing that only HE knew what was right and of course, they hung on his every word and only showed brights, shining, happy faces to the world so that everyone believed they were the prefect family. All very Maxwellian. It was only when his wife and oldest daughter took the stand in his defense and had to recite an endless litany of "Dad says this" and "Dad says that" that things began to break down as they realized just how they'd been isolated, misled and manipulated. Thinking back on the ep, the actor who played the father (Jay Sanders?) nailed Steve Maxwell. Same outwardly calm demeanor, same seething rage below the surface, same dead cold eyes.

Of course, the L&O ep wrapped things up quickly and neatly, but it posed an interesting idea. I wonder if the Maxwell children, when faced with the entirety of their upbringing in black and white, wouldn't have a similar epiphany and start to fight back. One can only hope.

Thank you for the L&O episode recommendation. I've actually just went and watched it. The whole thing (including the ending) is chilling.

I'm not sure if the Maxwell children would have an epiphany even if their lives were laid out for them in black and white. I would hope so. But then again, I'm speaking as a person who never had such an upbringing. It's often difficult for me to understand or to truly realize how much their world has been wrapped up in daddy's vision.

Never mind gaining the necessary critical thinking skills to combat this notion. They've probably been taught to regard reason and logic as evil as evil, as some sort of deception. They have their own which they regard as right, which is whatever daddy tells them.

They are in every way attached and dependent on him - emotionally, financially, and so on. That daddy is wrong would shatter their world. If anything in those woefully brainwashed minds of theirs still works, they might even consciously decide NOT to believe it out of, at the very least, a sense of self-preservation.

[mrsew]

That figures. Steve-O has manipulated his family.

So you knew them? Well come on then, SPILL!

Sarah was best friends with my older sister for over 10 years - she came on family vacations with us several times. She usually would fly but her family drove her half-way and met my parents the first time, so they could meet my parents. We also visited them as a family twice. My parents didn't "drink their koolaid" (my Dad preferred to make his own), my mom was SO not into scheduling, etc, so our families were really never besties.

I definitely remember they were more lax with the older kids, but when our families were together the younger children were never allowed to be with my siblings without an adult or older sibling present. Steve made a BIG deal about this.

Once my sister left home for college (my family was becoming more 'liberal' and the Maxwells were becoming more conservative than ever) Sarah slowly started weaning her friendship with my sister, and eventually wrote her a long letter explaining why they could no longer be friends.

Feels like a lifetime ago - I wish their family would change and move away from legalism but honestly if it hasn't happened by now, I can't imagine that it ever will. Along the same line, I don't see any of the kids ever leaving or changing before Steve passes away. Christopher always seemed to be the most "liberal" of them, and I had a wild thought that maybe one day he would be the one to start a change in the family but seeing who he has chosen to marry that seems much less likely now.

[icecreamycakeycake]

Does anyone know what Steve did in the USAF, particularly if he was a pilot? I ask because the correlation between his paranoia, delusions and possible mental illness strikes a cord. I grew up in an AF community at the end of the cold war at a Soviet targeted base, many of my friends were children of Air Force officers, and later I was acquainted with some women who married AF officers. I witnessed many families destroyed because their Fathers/Husbands just kind of snapped, running the gamut from returning home from a mission and asking for a divorce out of the blue, to serious mental illness, wrought with delusions, paranoia and downright disturbing behavior.

While the USAF may be slightly less structured the pressure on these pilots and the individuals responsible for those planes designed to kill thousands of people was likely crushing. There was NO MAKING MISTAKES EVER, or your career was over, and innocent lives could be lost. And while Steve was not a career military man, as these men rise in rank and security clearance, they can exposed to information that can not only be frightening, and disturbing, but also haunting (think area 51 kind of shit).

The USAF could very well have been a crucial part of the Man Steve is today.

[alisonwhit]

I'm predicting that there will be a ton of questions for you mrsew - hope you can hang in there and answer them for us! Here are a few of mine:

1. Did you think Steve was on the creepy side? Did you ever suspect that he was mentally unbalanced in some way?

2. Did you ever get a chance to meet Melanie? What is her family like? Do you think Sarah could reach out to one of them if she wanted out?

3. Did you witness the Maxwells having fun?

4. Do you think Steve will let his daughters get married?

I've been following the Maxwell's since 2001 and am disturbed to say the least by the direction their family has taken.

[Guest Anonymous]

Sarah was best friends with my older sister for over 10 years - she came on family vacations with us several times. She usually would fly but her family drove her half-way and met my parents the first time, so they could meet my parents. We also visited them as a family twice. My parents didn't "drink their koolaid" (my Dad preferred to make his own), my mom was SO not into scheduling, etc, so our families were really never besties.

I definitely remember they were more lax with the older kids, but when our families were together the younger children were never allowed to be with my siblings without an adult or older sibling present. Steve made a BIG deal about this.

Once my sister left home for college (my family was becoming more 'liberal' and the Maxwells were becoming more conservative than ever) Sarah slowly started weaning her friendship with my sister, and eventually wrote her a long letter explaining why they could no longer be friends.

Feels like a lifetime ago - I wish their family would change and move away from legalism but honestly if it hasn't happened by now, I can't imagine that it ever will. Along the same line, I don't see any of the kids ever leaving or changing before Steve passes away. Christopher always seemed to be the most "liberal" of them, and I had a wild thought that maybe one day he would be the one to start a change in the family but seeing who he has chosen to marry that seems much less likely now.

That is so sad. Poor Sarah.