Purity Balls and Fundies

[LynnKaboom]

That would actually be awesome. Do you know if Bert was added to that gif or if he's in the original? I swear I've seen it somewhere before and Bert was definitely not in it (or I just didn't watch the whole gif before, either one is likely)

I'm pretty sure he was added later, because I've seen the gif before too, and he wasn't in it.

Give me about an hour, I need to eat dinner and organize my .gifs.

[FireIsCatching89]

I tend to not really buy into the idea of promiscuity to begin with, as in I don't slut-shame (or at least, try not to), but I know from experience that teens are judgemental little fucks, so if someone who was a teen was looking for guidance about sexual habits, I'd encourage them to wait or not to sleep with a lot of people, even if they saw nothing wrong with it. Rumors and gossip can hurt way more than a one-night stand. Also, kids at that age are still trying to figure out what they like sexually, the difference between love and lust, and the whole safe sex thing, so being monogomous with a long-term partner may be easier emotionally and safer for a younger person. I feel like that once people reach their early twenties, "promiscuity" or whatever isn't a big deal as long as you don't spread STDs willy-nilly. Who's in your bed is none of my business, essentially.

And actually to be on topic for the thread: purity balls freak me the fuck out. I showed an article from Glamour, and later, Time, about them to my dad for a laugh, and I think he actually gagged a little. All knows is that I need maxi-pads and wear a bra, and that is all he wants to know about my sexuality and body. Don't ask, don't tell to the extreme. Although, I'm sure if I really needed it, he'd get me condoms. Fortunately, I have epic google skillz and a supportive older brother, so I had the condom hows, wheres, and whys figured out at 15.

[Guest Anonymous]

Jeez here it is the year 2011 and folks are slut-shaming. I did not battle on the foreskin of the sexual revolution to hear this kinda chit in my 60th year.

[Evawithoutaclue]

Jeez here it is the year 2011 and folks are slut-shaming. I did not battle on the foreskin of the sexual revolution to hear this kinda chit in my 60th year.

Amen. With bells on.

[LynnKaboom]

That would actually be awesome. Do you know if Bert was added to that gif or if he's in the original? I swear I've seen it somewhere before and Bert was definitely not in it (or I just didn't watch the whole gif before, either one is likely)

Here. http://www.mediafire.com/?zod234o4bqvdvnm

There might be a few duplicates and jpegs in there, but I tried to weed them out. Most of them are SFW, but there might be a few questionable ones. Enjoy! :mrgreen:

[marmalade]

This is kind of long, so bear with it, but these PEER REVIEWED studies (just for Lynn Kaboom, who doesn't seem to believe STD's can be transmitted during one's first sexual - be it kissing or banging someone_):

There have been numerous peer-reviewed studies of virginity pledges with varying results. Four of the five peer-reviewed virginity pledge studies and the non-peer-reviewed study discussed below use the same federal data, the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (Add Health), in which 13,000 adolescents were interviewed in 1995, 1996, and 2000. The other peer-reviewed study used a study of virginity pledges in California.

The first peer-reviewed study of virginity pledgers (by sociologists Peter Bearman of Columbia and Hannah Brueckner of Yale) found that in the year following their pledge, some virginity pledgers are more likely to delay sex than non-pledgers; when virginity pledgers do have sex, they are less likely to use contraception than non-pledgers.[7] This study found, however, that virginity pledges are only effective in high schools in which about 30% of the students had taken the pledge, meaning that they are not effective as a universal measure. Their analysis was that identity movements work when there is a critical mass of members: too few members, and people don't have each other for social support, and too many members, and people don't feel distinctive for having taken the pledge. This study was criticized for not being able to conclude causality, only correlation, a criticism which applies to all studies of virginity pledges thus far.[8]

A second peer-reviewed study, also by Bearman and Brueckner, looked at virginity pledgers five years after their pledge, and found that they have similar proportions of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and at least as high proportions of anal and oral sex as those who have not made a virginity pledge. They deduced that pledgers may substitute oral and anal sex for vaginal sex. The data for anal sex without vaginal sex reported by males does not reflect this directly.[7][9] This study also estimated that male pledgers were 4.1 times more likely to remain virgins by age 25 than those who did not pledge (25% vs 6%), and estimated that female pledgers were 3.5 times more likely to remain virgins by age 25 than those who did not pledge (21% vs 6%). The study also noted that those who pledge yet became sexually active reported fewer partners and were not exposed to STD risk for as long as nonpledgers.

A third peer-reviewed study — by Melina Bersamin and others at Prevention Research Center, in Berkeley, California — found that adolescents who make an informal promise to themselves not to have sex will delay sex, but adolescents who take a formal virginity pledge do not delay sex.[10]

A fourth peer-reviewed study — by Harvard public health researcher Janet Rosenbaum published in the American Journal of Public Health in June 2006 — found that over half of adolescents who took virginity pledges said the following year that they had never taken a pledge.[11] This study showed that those who make the pledge but have sex are likely to deny ever pledging; and many who were sexually active prior to taking the pledge deny their sexual history, which, it is speculated, may cause them to underestimate their risk of having STDs.

A fifth peer-reviewed study, also by Janet Rosenbaum published in the journal Pediatrics in 2009, found no difference in sexual behavior of pledgers and similar non-pledgers five years after pledging, but found pledgers were 10 percentage points less likely to use condoms and 6 percentage points less likely to use birth control than similar non-pledgers. Rosenbaum's study was innovative for using Rubin causal model matching instead of relying on regression analysis which makes potentially untrue parametric assumptions. According to Rosenbaum, past research findings that virginity pledgers delayed sex may have been affected by their statistical method's inability to adjust fully for pre-existing differences between pledgers and non-pledgers: pledgers are much more negative towards premarital sex prior to even taking the pledge, so would be predicted to delay sex even if they hadn't taken the pledge. Comparing pledgers with similar non-pledgers is the only way to be certain that the effect comes from the pledge rather than the pre-existing greater beliefs of pledgers that sexuality should be restrained to the matrimonial context.[12]

[edit]

I got this information by googling "virginity pledge." Find your own counter-arugments starting from that point. Thanks in advance.

[LynnKaboom]

@Marmalade- I never said that you can't transmit STDs through your first experience. I said that sleeping with people who you do not know the status of can increase your risk of getting an STD. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT SLEEPING WITH ANYONE WHO YOU DON'T KNOW THE STATUS OF IS NOT A RISK IN AND OF ITSELF. But if you sleep with many people who you do not know the status of, that's very risky! That's why you should get tested often.

Longcat on a stick, people today seem to be determined to hand-wave the fact that if you have unprotected sex you can get STDs, and that having unprotected sex with multiple people is a good way to get them!

As for the purity pledge thing, I already knew they didn't work.

[Guest LilaFowler]

It's funny that the Duggar family probably wouldn't agree with these purity balls because of the dancing and defrauding sleeveless dresses.

[forever ago]

North Carolina has an abstinence-only education policy. Granted, it's not enforced in every county/school district (sure as hell not New Hanover Co, where I go to college... yeah, take a wild guess where), but it's enforced to a T in my home county that will remain unnamed. Last year 30 girls were pregnant at my high school... of 1200 students. Purity rings are popular here. I've never head of purity balls being held here or in surrounding areas, and if I do that will be one more reason to burn the whole county to the ground and make everyone start over somewhere more civilized. (Can you tell I just love my little corner of NC?)

In Unnamed County, NC, there is no sex ed until about 5th grade, and it's basically the whole puberty talk. Pretty age appropriate, and I learned some good stuff that despite having an open mother, I had never known, heard about, or asked about.

The next unit of sex ed is in 7th grade. It's basically "girls give sex to get love, and boys give love to get sex." It was a disgusting display of gender stereotypes. Girls were weak and couldn't resist boys' advances. In 8th grade, we had another abstinence course that went on about how condoms didn't work. There was no mention of any type of birth control BUT condoms. I even asked about this in class, and was told that while whoever was teaching anti-sex ed was not allowed to talk about contraception during the class, they still had to answer students' questions if they came to them in private. Which is still pretty fucked up, if you ask me, even if the teachers were PE teachers and the school nurse.

In 9th grade the abstinence unit was part of the "Healthful Living" (North Carolinian for "phys ed") class, toward the end when nobody gave a flying fuck. Around here there's a lot of kids sexually active by then, regardless of how well they paid attention in 7th and 8th grades.

And that was it. After 9th grade, there was no sex ed whatsoever. Around junior year, a lot of people I knew started getting pregnant. Abstinence-only is a failure, an epic failure. It feeds anti-contraception misinformation to kids, so that when they do have sex it's unprotected. It continues gender stereotypes. It's thinly veiled Christian propaganda; by 9th grade I had given up religion entirely and was not amused when my textbook suggested I ask a 'religious leader' about sex. Fuck. that. noise. (Print, rather.) NC is number 9 in the country, iirc, for teen pregnancy. You know who NC's most famous teen mom is? Jenelle Evans. Yes, that Jenelle Evans, from Teen Mom 2. Though Brunswick County, Jenelle's home, doesn't appear to enforce the abstinence-only policy either... and Jenelle is an idiot. Brunswick, BTW, borders New Hanover to the south.

Yes, purity rings are popular here and when I said that I don't like the idea of purity rings, those who did like the idea insisted I didn't like the idea of abstinence of marriage. I'm ambivalent to it. I don't necessarily agree, but having sex is an incredibly personal choice, and should not be worn like any other piece of jewelry. Nobody wears jewelry to 'remind themselves' of their beliefs. People wear jewelry to show something off- either a feature of themselves they like, their beliefs, sure- but I draw the line at sex lives, or lack thereof. True, they're not all that noticeable...

Purity balls? That idea makes me sick. It's a fake wedding. To one's FATHER. That's just creepy. It's flashy and cheesy and CREEPY.

[MrsKay]

http://www.mikhaela.net/pictures/PurityBalls72.jpg

That kinda sums up my feelings. Yuck.

[defrauding]

I'm going to take a wild guess that you have never taken/passed a statistics class in your damn life. Because statistics don’t work that way and you shouldn’t be basing definitions off a subject on which you obviously have no idea what your talking about.

It's too bad you never learned anything in that class.

Valsa, a few weeks ago, you didn't understand the difference between a population and a sample in statistics. Why are you insulting people like this?

[valsa]

Valsa, a few weeks ago, you didn't understand the difference between a population and a sample in statistics. So why are you insulting people like this?

Because people who slut-shame deserve to be insulted.

Also, there was nothing incorrect about what I said in the other thread, so I don't know where you're getting that from.

[jesusfreak]

That Ken is creepy, the way his face is two inches from his 11 y.o. daughter at all times staring at her while she talks.

[FundiesInMyFamily]

Purity balls - really creepy...... Abistence only education = The Palins lol

[tinuviel]

My mom is fundie-lite and wanted/wants me to wait until marriage, but she was a social worker back in the day, so she definitely didn't neglect to tell me about birth control! She explained periods and sex clearly and openly and I don't remember a time when I didn't know about the pill. She even got it for me when I had bad periods as a teenager. She always stressed the importance of birth control and also of getting an education so that I could support myself. Granted she does say that the woman's job is to help her husband, but still--HUGE step up from a lot of fundies in our community.

Oh yeah, and I lived in abstinence only education county... 60-some girls at the small high school were pregnant at once. There were discussions of adding a daycare to the high school. *facepalm* I wanted to make sure my younger cousin knew about BC when she had a serious boyfriend and I asked what they even taught in sex ed at her school. "All I remember is that they told us how to cook meth". *doublefacepalm*

Also totally agree with the above poster who thought it was tacky to wear your sex life on your hand. Thought this when I was watching a True Life "I'm a newly wed" episode, and the fundie bride and groom to be were having their honeymoon expectations talk together ON MTV. Jayzus. I might be a hoe-bag by their standards, but at least I'm not talking about my sex life in front of the whole goddamn world.

[Guest Anonymous]

I might be a hoe-bag by their standards, but at least I'm not talking about my sex life in front of the whole goddamn world.

1.) I love your user name.

2.) I'm cracking up because now I have a mental image of an elf maiden saying "hoe-bag."

[tinuviel]

Thanks! I like to think of myself as a wild, cursing hobbit of an elf. :-) [/derail]

[HowRude]

I watched the documentary and yes it is ok to wait until you are married for sex but seriously must you come off as condescending to others. Some things that I disagree with are the father picking out who their daughters date, adultery has nothing to do with abstinence, not having permission to pick out a daughters clothes if you're her mother, and on the case of Mr. Old man could you really not think of a name besides naming your kids the same thing. Also why do you have to tell your kids good things in front of everyone else it like saying listen up I'm going to tell you this once a week and just paraphrase what I said to your other siblings. Tell your kids you appreciate them but in private so it can be special. On the other hand I love Jessica and more power to her and her bf to saying screw the rents.

[shesinsane]

Question for those who went to high school with pregnant gals and purity rings: After a purity pledge girl got pregnant, did she continue to wear her purity ring? Did the other girls in the abstinence club make her take it off? Or are the rings just considered cool Christian jewelry, but their purpose isn't enforced?

[blisterine]

there's a dress shop in oxford, ms. that makes pageant dresses and now also makes purity ball dresses. the prices run from $125 for a plain dress up to $500, depending on how many beads and bits you want on it. they are constructed with these weird pieces of fabric that can be replaced later to change the size- if they decide to use it as a wedding gown. for a fee, they will also take in your used purity gown, clean it and embellish it if you decide to use it as wedding dress.

i guess it's the bridal version of "buy used, save the difference."

[Guest Anonymous]

Question for those who went to high school with pregnant gals and purity rings: After a purity pledge girl got pregnant, did she continue to wear her purity ring? Did the other girls in the abstinence club make her take it off? Or are the rings just considered cool Christian jewelry, but their purpose isn't enforced?

We didn't like club or public pledges or anything, but I knew a lot of girls who had True Love Waits rings. I lost mine somewhere long before I lost my virginity. A couple of my friends still have theirs but don't wear them. I know two guys at my school after their girlfriends got pregnant wore the ring on a necklace chain. :|

[MissSeptember]

Question for those who went to high school with pregnant gals and purity rings: After a purity pledge girl got pregnant, did she continue to wear her purity ring? Did the other girls in the abstinence club make her take it off? Or are the rings just considered cool Christian jewelry, but their purpose isn't enforced?

I wore my ring for several years after I lost my virginity. I didn't want anyone (mainly my parents) to know I wasn't a virgin.