Michelle on Josie's Progress

[sophrosyne]

Michelle teaches her child to say,

“I know others may, but I may not.â€

And says further,

She’s learning it. She practices speaking it with me. And we just have to learn that lesson young in life and live that way.

Therein is the core of Duggerian "self-control."

I know others may rock and roll, but I may not.

I know others may show their knees, but I may not.

I know others may go to school, but I may not.

I know others may have straight hair, but I may not.

I know others may hug full frontal, but I may not.

I know others may have inalienable rights, but I may not.

But I may not. But I may not. But I may not. But I may not.

--"She’s learning it. She practices speaking it with me. And we just have to learn that lesson young in life and live that way."

Yup.

[gustava]

Josie should learn abouit her allergy and be able to advocate for herself. She'll leave the Duggar compound and be out in the real world one day. Well, one can hope. Boob and Mullet should stop being selfish and give Josie some things that she can eat. Maybe put them in a special place just for her. Make her feel like an individual, and not just one of your kids that you've stopped caring for.

Not until lipsticked pigs fly. :angelic-pink:

[OkToBeTakei]

Toddler Nolan knows she can't eat shellfish and will inform anyone of that if asked. At the same time, she's only two. Everyone who cares for her (friends, family, daycare) knows it too. If someone is watching her they are provided with an epi pen. As I said she wears a medical ID bracelet just to be safe. One of my fears is that she'll tell someone that she can't have shellfish and that person will just think she's being difficult or a picky eater, and then she'll be exposed to shellfish because it's what's being offered. There are idiots out there who "don't believe" in food allergies. My brother's wife is one such genius, which is why she's not allowed to babysit Toddler Nolan.

Fortunately we have a relatively easy time avoiding shellfish since it's not as prevalent as soy, peanuts, or wheat. I don't like shellfish anyway, so it's never in the house and daycare doesn't serve it. We do have to scout restaurants in advance, and we avoid restaurants that serve primarily shellfish because it would be nearly impossible to prevent cross contamination.

I'm fine with Josie being taught what she can't have. What bothers me is that she isn't being offered an alternative food. When you have a kid with food allergies you don't want her to feel deprived. I've gone to BBQs where shellfish has been served. I bring food from home from my daughter to ensure there's no cross contamination. Pain in the ass? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. I want my daughter to enjoy her life and to not feel like she's missing out.

What annoys me about this is something you said earlier. Intolerance and allergy are two very separate issues. Some intolerances are merely uncomfortable or unsightly. I would mention the whole 'Strawberry' intolerance issue in babies/toddlers. Opposed to the serious berry allergy. Smear a strawberry around YOUR face and leave it there. You may get a wee rash. This is NOT life threatening. Sure if it happens and you choose to not give your child a food that is an irritant or will cause them discomfort, it is absolutely the right thing to do for your wee kid. Nobody wants an unhappy uncomfortable child.

BUT to in some way equate life threatening with intolerance has caused the ennui that society has with 'allergies.' It very much annoys me. Can you tell? :lol:

[Duggarlicious]

Michelle teaches her child to say,

:worship:

[France Nolan]

What annoys me about this is something you said earlier. Intolerance and allergy are two very separate issues. Some intolerances are merely uncomfortable or unsightly. I would mention the whole 'Strawberry' intolerance issue in babies/toddlers. Opposed to the serious berry allergy. Smear a strawberry around YOUR face and leave it there. You may get a wee rash. This is NOT life threatening. Sure if it happens and you choose to not give your child a food that is an irritant or will cause them discomfort, it is absolutely the right thing to do for your wee kid. Nobody wants an unhappy uncomfortable child.

BUT to in some way equate life threatening with intolerance has caused the ennui that society has with 'allergies.' It very much annoys me. Can you tell? :lol:

Absolutely. I've had parents with lactose intolerant kids try to tell me that lactose intolerance is just like a severe food allergy. No. It's not. If my daughter comes in contact with shellfish or something that even touched shellfish then she will go into anaphylactic shock. Without an epi pen and emergency services she could die.

That's not to say I would feed a lactose intolerant kid dairy or their discomfort/pain isn't valid. It totally is. If you're kid can't handle dairy then by all means restrict it and instruct others to do the same if they are serving your child food, but please don't compare it to a life threatening allergy.

[Miggy]

I can understand the reaction of diabetes mum, mentioned above. My son has allergies, my husband & daughter are lactose intolerant. We didn't allow foods that my son couldn't have in the house. We just did without other stuff - dairy, potatoes, tomatoes, capsicum, chilli, cheese, etc. I didn't know any other way to cope with allergies + ADHD + Asperger's child, who acted on impulse. My other kids have never complained. Maybe I am just lucky to have placid/accepting children. My son with the allergies has very poor language skills (didn't start speaking at all until 3 1/2) so teaching him to say no to food really wasn't an option. I became more flexible when he was 10-11 and yes, we had a few little adventures where he tried food that had been previously unavailable.

Back to Josie, part of the problem is that she has been taught no "milk" instead of no "lactose"? Milk to a child is milk. Lactose is something they will ask about. I agree with everyone else though: soy milk, soy youghert, soy cheese are all great if you can't eat dairy. Give Josie alternatives and a pictures of good / bad foods stuck to the fridge. Much nicer that another set of RULES!

[patsymae]

I agree with those who say Josie should have alternative food. My son could not digest lots of sugars, including lactose,(fruit and honey were OK) for his first 5 years--and back in the day it was much, much harder to find alternatives, but we did. He had his "special food" at home and at day care; and I would carry safe snacks for when he was offered something. On Halloween our friends and neighbors would give out little toys or stickers so he could go trick or treating (whoops, just realized Halloween wouldn't be an issue for JChelle). Now that there is so much available in even the most ordinary grocery store it's unconscionable that they don't keep a space in the fridge for food that Josie can have.

Making a 3-year old repeat "others may, but I may not" is just so sick on so many levels.

The more I read about that woman, the more I hate her.

[Sobeknofret]

Darth Kid was allergic to corn and intolerant cow's milk, and that was a nightmare! Funnily, I discovered that many lactose intolerant people are able to tolerate goat's milk, so we stocked up on goat milk yogurt, cheese and even butter for him. It provided a source of protein since he had texture issues with meat, and wouldn't even touch the stuff. He's outgrown the corn and milk issues, so perhaps Josie will as well, but texture is still a big.thing. with him, and he still won't eat meat.

The Duggars are being assholes about recognizing Josie's problems and dealing with them. Maybe that's what comes of having too many kids; you can't possibly really get into their issues and deal with them satisfactorily, because there's just too damn many (and I really don't think Josie is the only child with serious issues in that family).

[Miggy]

I wonder about the "serious issues" thing too. My son's hearing problems weren't detected until he started school and had trouble filtering out background noise to hear the teacher. I am often left wondering if Jenny has something similar which has led to her poor speech. Another son has eye problems weren't picked up until he tried to read a blackboard. (His eyes didn't track together so he saw everything in focus, just tended to use one eye or the other, never both together. An easily corrected problem if diagnosed young.) Would a Duggar with eye problems be noticed? As long as they can see the computer and their music I doubt it. Scoliosis? My friends spine began to curve at 10-11 and she wore a brace under her clothing for a couple of years to prevent it getting worse. At what age would the be notice in a Duggar?

Funny thing is, the Duggars say they have no serious problems except for one who needs glasses but isn't Jordyn allergic to one type of antibiotics? I think it was mentioned in the ice storm episode and in the second book. Surely that's a serious issue?

[dairyfreelife]

Most of my family is lactose intolerant & can eat yogurt just fine (and eat a lot of it, for the calcium!). I agree that Michelle may be confusing intolerance and allergic. Science--how does it work??

I am very lactose intolerant and I can't eat yogurt at all. I could at first, but now I can not much of anything with dairy. I can eat some meatballs with a tiny amount of sheep's milk, yet I ate some bread where the pan had been buttered and it was a bad afternoon.

Many people seem to confuse allergies and intolerance as the same sort of thing. I say I can't have milk and it's treated as an allergy, and I admit that in a restaurant I don't correct the waiter/waitress on the issue. Regardless, they know that milk is to be avoided in my food if possible and that's all that matters. An allergy is an immune response to something. I have an allergy to dust mites and certain pollens, which extends to some fruits and vegetables reacting with me as well. Allergies can be life-threatening. An intolerance has nothing to do with the immune system. It's entirely a digestion issue. Milk and eggs do this with me.

[slp]

In the book they say Jordyn is allergic to penicillin.

I'm hoping that they do allow Josie soy treats and Michelle simply didn't mention that b/c it wasn't the point of her post?? Perhaps Josie simply wanted the food that her sister had?

[Dandruff]

Michelle gives an update on "Bionic Baby" Josie.

parentables.howstuffworks.com/family-matters/how-michelle-duggar-deals-her-daughters-food-sensitivities.html

Should a 3-year-old really be responsible for making sure that others don't give her food that she can't have?

No, and I suspect Michelle wasn't happy that her two small children didn't handle it. Why did Michelle say that she had to take her aside and had to talk to her about it vs. just saying that she took her aside and talked to her about it? And does she really expect Josie to know which products have milk in them and how much she can have?

I hope there aren't too many times when Josie is told 'no' when everyone else is enjoying something, and that there are tasty, nutritious alternatives available for her.

[miffy]

Why can't they just switch the whole family over to soy or lactose free yoghurt?

I'm almond milk intolerant. I don't drink milk(by choice, I eat my weight in cheese though), but I love almond milk on my almond muesli. Unfortunately the after effects are not much fun, i'm weird!

[wild little fox]

You may be right, I definitely remember Josie eating ice cream in Japan.

What are the chances it was soy ice cream and not dairy? IIRC a lot if people of Japaneese descent have lactos intolerance. Then again this could be all for show.

[Lillybee]

You know, what really bothers me is that toddlers, and pre-schoolers are allowed to have free range to the snack fridge.

Little kids are not known for choosing wisely. I see this as an example of how lax Mullet is in running her home.

[hapamama]

I think it is extremely important for parents to teach their children to self-advocate very early when dealing with food sensitivities / allergies / other medical conditions. I teach at an ebil public high school and we have a student with a peanut allergy that actually has a one-on-one aid because he can't/won't self-advocate. His parents have tried to shelter him from the world because of his allergy (which is severe)...and he has learned helplessness. I sat in on his CSE meeting and felt very sad for this boy because one of his post-high school goals is to go to college. There is no way that he can do this if his parents continue to try to place him in a bubble. :angry-banghead:

Yeah, I've run into those types before (I've got 2 food allergic kids, one is a teen and one is a tween). Frustrates the hell out of me. They're the same types that wonder WHY the rest of the world is so hostile. I got yelled at once because I don't consider peanuts "evil".

Crazy people.... ugh.

My late grandfather was severely lactose intolerant. He couldn't eat ice cream without taking lactaid pills first, same with yogurt... Somehow I think that Duggars are too cheap to buy Josie lactaid pills or lactose free/dairy free yogurt (which is easily 3x more expensive than the cheap stuff).

[TheJewAmongUs]

My late grandfather was severely lactose intolerant. He couldn't eat ice cream without taking lactaid pills first, same with yogurt... Somehow I think that Duggars are too cheap to buy Josie lactaid pills or lactose free/dairy free yogurt (which is easily 3x more expensive than the cheap stuff).

Lactaid isn't recommended for children under 4. I know that for me they don't always work that well. I'm better off moderating the amount of dairy I have, than relying on the pills. Maybe they're trying something similar with Josie.

I don't even know why it's that remarkable that she's lactose intolerant. The Duggars have 19 kids and the most severe medical condition (as far as they've shared) is that 1 is lactose intolerant. They have a lot to be thankful for if that's the case.

[Mama Mia]

You may be right, I definitely remember Josie eating ice cream in Japan.

Or it might be that she didn't realize she was lactose intolerant until recently.

I would assume in a house with siblings the other kids would know to not let her have dairy.

[Mama Mia]

You know, what really bothers me is that toddlers, and pre-schoolers are allowed to have free range to the snack fridge.

Little kids are not known for choosing wisely. I see this as an example of how lax Mullet is in running her home.

For heavens sake, why on earth wouldn't you want your 3-6 year olds to be self sufficient enough to grab a yogurt of piece of fruit by themselves ? As long as it is healthy food and not difficult to serve, what is the possible problem ?

[Marianne]

For heavens sake, why on earth wouldn't you want your 3-6 year olds to be self sufficient enough to grab a yogurt of piece of fruit by themselves ? As long as it is healthy food and not difficult to serve, what is the possible problem ?

You live in a strange world.

Here, our fridge is filled with good and bad things. The two children who lives at home (not mine, they are at my roomate) don't use themselves in the fridge because they rarely take the fruits. Oh, and I find it sad that a child or adult nibbles throughout the day, even a balanced thing. This may be because I did not have a family life, but eating is not just something for food, it is also a social rite. Sit at the table, learning to sit still, talk with dad / mom, etc ... You must read Bourdieu (Does Bourdieu exist here ?)

I always find it sad that treating children 3 to 6 years as mini-adults.

[chickie]

Why couldn't she take lactose supplements? That's what I do, I swallow a pill with the first bite of dairy and I can eat anything I want.

My daughter and I are both lactose intolerant. The lactase supplements (the enzyme that breaks down lactose) are for ages 4+. My daughter will be 4 soon, but for now, we get foods that already have lactase in them (yogurt, milk, etc) and we limit cheese.

[chickie]

Or it might be that she didn't realize she was lactose intolerant until recently.

I would assume in a house with siblings the other kids would know to not let her have dairy.

They discovered Josie was lactose intolerant when she was still in the NICU. That was why she wasn't gaining much weight when she was drinking breast milk.

[Sola]

My daughter had the same prematurity related intolerance to dairy. Thankfully she's grown out of it now and as long as she doesn't over do it, like eat a lb of cheese in one sitting, she's fine. Josie *should* be able to tolerate small amounts of dairy by now, most preemies can cope with tiny amounts by 3.5 yes. I suspect Michelle doesn't understand it and thinks Josie must avoid all dairy, forever. Prematurity related intolerance to dairy is rarely lifelong.

[OkToBeTakei]

I can understand the reaction of diabetes mum, mentioned above. My son has allergies, my husband & daughter are lactose intolerant. We didn't allow foods that my son couldn't have in the house. We just did without other stuff - dairy, potatoes, tomatoes, capsicum, chilli, cheese, etc. I didn't know any other way to cope with allergies + ADHD + Asperger's child, who acted on impulse. My other kids have never complained. Maybe I am just lucky to have placid/accepting children. My son with the allergies has very poor language skills (didn't start speaking at all until 3 1/2) so teaching him to say no to food really wasn't an option. I became more flexible when he was 10-11 and yes, we had a few little adventures where he tried food that had been previously unavailable.

Back to Josie, part of the problem is that she has been taught no "milk" instead of no "lactose"? Milk to a child is milk. Lactose is something they will ask about. I agree with everyone else though: soy milk, soy youghert, soy cheese are all great if you can't eat dairy. Give Josie alternatives and a pictures of good / bad foods stuck to the fridge. Much nicer that another set of RULES!

I think if that was the case with the diabetes mother it would have been tolerable. Instead her younger child had screaming tantrums every time he was denied something as simple as a piece of fruit out with her routine. You can forget that poor child ever getting sweets, or ice-cream as a treat. The resentment the child had for the sibling was palpable even at age 5. It did not improve any over the years.

[Miggy]

Yeah, I can see that situation is quite different to my family. We had substitutes for everything and it was never about the timing of meals or not getting treats. For example; ice cream was out but we've always had sorbet instead, commercial yoghurt was out but we made our own soy yoghurt, no sauce but our kids learnt about mayo and mustard young, etc. You can't punish kids for being sick but you shouldn't punish kids for having sick siblings either.