Michelle on Josie's Progress

[OkToBeTakei]

oh yeah, I understand. No problem here with different strokes for different folks. I wasn't imagining you having a key to the fridge around your neck. :lol:

When you do give them the run of the range, certain foods have to be uh.....verboten...from even entering the house except on special occasions. Worked just great in my house. At 19, I was practically mainlining Pepsi in my college dorm room. :shifty:

OH MY! May I suggest The Maxwell Institute of Addiction :lol:

[formergothardite]

I cannot imagine going to someone's house and getting stuff to eat out of their cabinets or refrigerator. I ask at my mom's house before I do something like that. I think the most my oldest daughter has ever done is ask for a drink of water when we were visiting someone. At her grandparents' houses they tend to just automatically offer her something, but everywhere else, I would be mortified if she started asking for food.

Once my husband had a co-worker over for a visit, he walked it, said, "I'm going to make myself a cup of tea." and then just started going through the cabinets finding stuff. It was such a bizarre thing because people just don't do that around here. You wait for people to offer you something, which usually happens.

[AuntCloud]

OkToBeTakei, I still have hopes of us meeting someday. I will see for myself that you do not, in fact, starve your guests and family, locking the fridge and cabinets and setting a timer for dinner, and you will see that I don't let me kids stampede through my and everyone else's pantry guzzling cookies for lunch and chocolate for dinner :-)

I have free access to the fridge at my parents' house and at the houses of close family and very few, very old friends. As for everyone else's fridge, I will go and get something out/put something in if I've been asked to do so or if we're all preparing a meal together. If I'm at my friend's kitchen chopping salad, I can grab the lettuce without asking for permission. It's unthinkable for my kids to touch other people's fridges, but they have been known occasionally to raid my pantry when they had friends over and I was trying to rest upstairs. We don't have set meal times, mostly because of different activities and schedules, and adults and kids alike will grab something when they're hungry, but we try and eat together as much as possible.

[OkToBeTakei]

OkToBeTakei, I still have hopes of us meeting someday. I will see for myself that you do not, in fact, starve your guests and family, locking the fridge and cabinets and setting a timer for dinner, and you will see that I don't let me kids stampede through my and everyone else's pantry guzzling cookies for lunch and chocolate for dinner :-)

I have free access to the fridge at my parents' house and at the houses of close family and very few, very old friends. As for everyone else's fridge, I will go and get something out/put something in if I've been asked to do so or if we're all preparing a meal together. If I'm at my friend's kitchen chopping salad, I can grab the lettuce without asking for permission. It's unthinkable for my kids to touch other people's fridges, but they have been known occasionally to raid my pantry when they had friends over and I was trying to rest upstairs. We don't have set meal times, mostly because of different activities and schedules, and adults and kids alike will grab something when they're hungry, but we try and eat together as much as possible.

Excellent. I think we will do fine :D ESPECIALLY if you are making the salad! Unfortunately you may have to get used to eating around 10pm. I totally get sidetracked when guests are about :lol:

[AuntCloud]

Salad it is, with plenty of herbs and lemon, and don't worry about eating at 10pm as long as there's time for dessert

I'm making my rhubarb-blueberry-strawberry crisp for Canada Day barbecue at a friend's back yard, and will be bringing a six-pack of hard cider as well. This will keep us going until the fireworks

[gezykah]

One year on Thanksgiving I stopped by a family friend's house on the way to see my family. While there I ran into her friend C. that had the same idea. When the hostess took the turkey out of the oven everybody knew she was waiting to serve the meal since her oldest son hadn't arrived yet but that didn't stop C. from cutting of the drumsticks and telling everybody about how she was going to take them home because they were her husbands favorite so she never got to have them. My brother has the key to my apt and recently spent a day there alone and later told me he wanted a bagel but didn't take one because I wasn't around to ask. I've let him know before and again that day he's more than welcome to raid my fridge as long as he doesn't do something like eat all my ravioli so I have no dinner. If he has one bagel and I'm left with only five for breakfast I'll survive. I want guests to feel welcome and free to grab a snack at my place. Somewhere between ruining a meal and going hungry is a happy medium.

[Mela99]

One year on Thanksgiving I stopped by a family friend's house on the way to see my family. While there I ran into her friend C. that had the same idea. When the hostess took the turkey out of the oven everybody knew she was waiting to serve the meal since her oldest son hadn't arrived yet but that didn't stop C. from cutting of the drumsticks and telling everybody about how she was going to take them home because they were her husbands favorite so she never got to have them. My brother has the key to my apt and recently spent a day there alone and later told me he wanted a bagel but didn't take one because I wasn't around to ask. I've let him know before and again that day he's more than welcome to raid my fridge as long as he doesn't do something like eat all my ravioli so I have no dinner. If he has one bagel and I'm left with only five for breakfast I'll survive. I want guests to feel welcome and free to grab a snack at my place. Somewhere between ruining a meal and going hungry is a happy medium.

Everybody loves the drumsticks and wants them. Did anybody say anything to her? :wtf:

[formergothardite]

One year on Thanksgiving I stopped by a family friend's house on the way to see my family. While there I ran into her friend C. that had the same idea. When the hostess took the turkey out of the oven everybody knew she was waiting to serve the meal since her oldest son hadn't arrived yet but that didn't stop C. from cutting of the drumsticks and telling everybody about how she was going to take them home because they were her husbands favorite so she never got to have them. My brother has the key to my apt and recently spent a day there alone and later told me he wanted a bagel but didn't take one because I wasn't around to ask. I've let him know before and again that day he's more than welcome to raid my fridge as long as he doesn't do something like eat all my ravioli so I have no dinner. If he has one bagel and I'm left with only five for breakfast I'll survive. I want guests to feel welcome and free to grab a snack at my place. Somewhere between ruining a meal and going hungry is a happy medium.

Oh my goodness! That is horrible. Is this is one of those situations where people just stared at her in stunned silence?

[OkToBeTakei]

Oh my goodness! That is horrible. Is this is one of those situations where people just stared at her in stunned silence?

HOLY SHIT! I mean my MIL takes the carcass, but that is shocking!

It is times like that when my Granny would have had no problem whacking her wooden spoon across some knuckles! I think in this day and age I would have certainly at least thought about it :lol:

[Coconut Flan]

I'm one of those people who would go CHARLENE what the blank are you thinking? Did you ask hostess if no one in her family eats the drumsticks?

I'm one of the snack drawer moms (mainly so I could keep what was planned for meals separate), however no eating close to meals, not much off limits food was in my house when the kids were little, I appreciated being told when things were running low, and I would be astounded if someone not related to me walked into my house and randomly opened the fridge or cabinets without asking. I did get to witness this at my oldest daughter's and was about to say something when she told me it was useless. This man of about 30 apparently was brought up without any manners and goes bustling about doing as he pleases without care or consideration for anyone. She had asked him several times to let her know if he was hungry or thirsty, but he still just went in the kitchen and scrounged.

[mrs]

I grew up being “allowed†to help myself to snacks. But my mom would only go shopping once a week on Fridays. By Monday all the “snacks†were gone and we had to help ourselves to healthier options, like leftovers or fruit.

We ate dinner early(430 or 5). We always had some ice cream before bed or a pop.

Does anyone know if Josie looked like she was achieving the "benchmarks" for her age on the most recent season? I don't have children yet, so I don't know what to look for in development.

[MrMattyMatt]

I am no child development expert but in the last season Josie was a total spitfire. I thought she was shown more alert, communicative and active that some of the other little girls.

[silverspoons]

I grew up being “allowed†to help myself to snacks. But my mom would only go shopping once a week on Fridays. By Monday all the “snacks†were gone and we had to help ourselves to healthier options, like leftovers or fruit.

We ate dinner early(430 or 5). We always had some ice cream before bed or a pop.

Does anyone know if Josie looked like she was achieving the "benchmarks" for her age on the most recent season? I don't have children yet, so I don't know what to look for in development.

It is so hard to tell with the edited version of what we see. I have sat in on countless IEP meeting for 3 year olds. This is when they transition from early intervention to preschool. As far as speech it is hard to tell what Josie has memorized and what she parrots in the TH and what she could say when given a formal assessment without prompting. I suspect most of what we hear in the TH is just parroted. I have seen various times of her walking on tip toes or running and being wobbly. Who knows if it is improper Duggar footwear or a need for some PT?

With Jana buddy who knows what Josie's self help skills are?

I think she will always be on the smaller side. I do hope Michelle or Jana Buddy talks to a nutritionist about Josie's special diet needs.

I think if she is 4 and still in diapers that will be the one sign that something is going on unless Michelle is trying to keep her a baby forever. Not that late potty training is bad(I waited till 3.5 years with my last who was a tiny toddler and she was ready and trained in a day) but the Duggar typically have kids potty trained by 3 and start at 2.5 years or younger so we know they like to follow the "one way fits every child for everything" so Josie in diapers at 3.5 is not the norm. By 4 I will be suspicious of why.

[ljohnson2006]

J'Chelle is going to act like Josie is the miracle preemie with no issues for the rest of her life. Whatever issues she had, and have been mentioned on the show, seem to have magically gone away. Whatever happened to her floating intestines, J'Chelle? Did you make that up? I want to see Josie evaluated by a REAL dr, and it be shown on the show. Then all of our speculation about where she is developmentally can go away. J'Chelle and Boob will never do it though. Josie isn't the only kid with special needs.

[ljohnson2006]

Also, why does J'Chelle refer to her as "Bionic Baby 19?" Is she a robot or something?

[Lilblazer]

Coming out of lurkerdom to say that, as a pediatric PT with over ten years of experience in early intervention and school aged children, and with a doctoral degree besides... Josie has obvious motor delays. Her movement patterns scream "immature" and "underdeveloped," even accounting for her prematurity (and we stop corrected for that at two years of age). That she may be being denied services that could significantly improve her ability to function independently infuriates me.

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

[MrMattyMatt]

Coming out of lurkerdom to say that, as a pediatric PT with over ten years of experience in early intervention and school aged children, and with a doctoral degree besides... Josie has obvious motor delays. Her movement patterns scream "immature" and "underdeveloped," even accounting for her prematurity (and we stop corrected for that at two years of age). That she may be being denied services that could significantly improve her ability to function independently infuriates me.

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

Thanks for un-lurking! You are quite accomplished - congrats! With that said - can you elaborate as to which specific movement patterns you are referring to? Just curious.

[gezykah]

I'm one of those people who would go CHARLENE what the blank are you thinking? Did you ask hostess if no one in her family eats the drumsticks?

HOLY SHIT! I mean my MIL takes the carcass, but that is shocking!

It is times like that when my Granny would have had no problem whacking her wooden spoon across some knuckles! I think in this day and age I would have certainly at least thought about it :lol:

It definitely was a stunned silence sort of situation. If it had happened at my place I definitely would've had some choice words for her but the hostess was staring in shock so the rest of us weren't sure how to react.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

There is a well known cultural divide that sorts people into two categories: Askers vs. Takers. Askers always ask first and Takers take first and ask later or not at all. I find the concept of helping yourself or taking first and then half-heartedly asking ("I'm just going to eat this last piece of pie, I assume you weren't saving it for anyone?" "If I was saving it, it's too late now, I guess.") so jaw-dropping but I've known many Takers and I have never had a good response to their actions-- as long as they are people that I'm close to and grown-ups (I can handle kids and strangers.)

My SIL once was spending the night and she rummaged around in the refrigerator, found an untouched bowl of spinach dip that I had made for later, sat down in the living room with a spoon and ate directly out of the bowl. When I timidly asked if I could get her some celery or some chips, she told me she was fine. She polished off the whole thing. It would never in a million years occur to me to do something like this as a guest in someone's home. First of all I would not go into the refrigerator to help myself. Second I would not bring food into the living room unless invited. Third I would not take a full tupperware of dip and eat out of it with a spoon. Yet faced with such gall I find it difficult to say anything. If someone took the legs off my turkey without asking, I would probably just laugh a little self-consciously, embarrassed by their behavior.

[NavySis]

I get my own drinks and snacks at my parents and sisters houses. If is close to meal time I ask what we are doing for that meal. I don't help myself at other people's houses. My niece is 10 and is allowed to get her own snacks, but she knows what she can and can't have.

[lilwriter85]

J'Chelle is going to act like Josie is the miracle preemie with no issues for the rest of her life. Whatever issues she had, and have been mentioned on the show, seem to have magically gone away. Whatever happened to her floating intestines, J'Chelle? Did you make that up? I want to see Josie evaluated by a REAL dr, and it be shown on the show. Then all of our speculation about where she is developmentally can go away. J'Chelle and Boob will never do it though. Josie isn't the only kid with special needs.

I agree Mullet will always make Josie out to be the miracle baby. I agree a bit with a previous poster who said that Josie seemed more alert and active last season. But I still wouldn't be surprised if she has lingering issues which aren't being dealt with.

[Cheetah]

Ok, this is going to be slightly off-topic, but all the discussion of food manners made me think of it. What do y'all think of the following 2 situations (which have come up among extended family members... both situations where to me, the offence is minor but my mother gets really peeved):

1. married couple invited to dinner. Husband is a kind of picky eater and decided he just has to stop off for fast food on the way there.

2. someone is hosting Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner for a blended family with multiple ex's and in-laws. One person always just brings along macaroni and cheese and chocolate cake for every single occasion without asking the hostess whether that would be suitable, because her 20-something daughter is a picky eater and insists on having those 2 dishes at every celebratory meal.

my mom is kind of controlling and feels like if she's hosting something, you show up on time and eat what's put in front of you. Both of these situations involve either my sister's ex-husband or his new wife and her daughter...

[Coconut Flan]

I'd be fine with the mac and cheese and cake since it's just an addition and others may partake or not.

I'm not sure if I'd be offended by the fast food stop or not. I think it would depend on how the person acted when/if they had trouble finding something to eat. I had a BIL who was sort of that way and remember his mother yelling at him when he did it to her a couple of times. I think it's rude but if it saves a scene I could handle it better.

[AuntCloud]

I'm not Miss Manners, but my take on this is: #1 is borderline rude, I realize sensory issues are a real thing but am uncomfortable with adults who can't find anything to eat in a large holiday dinner.

#2 is okay, since the mom is owning up to her daughter's pickiness. Not too big of a deal, it's not like she's bringing picked herring and deep-fried locust or pork and shrimp to a Kosher household.

Here's my situation: my mom had Headship's brother and his family over (try and visualize the family tree - they're not directly related to my parents). At some point, Headship's brother's wife asked my mom for a towel and proceeded to the bathroom so her two kids could have a bath and put their jammies on before heading home (a whole half an hour away). My mom was appalled. Next time it happened I was there and managed to tell her that the bathroom was not a free-for-all. My mom is very touchy about who can take a shower in her bathroom, and I respect that. My SIL is a classic taker, that was an excellent description. She usually leaves my MIL (Headship and his brother's mom), my mom and me staring and biting our tongue.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Does anyone remember the "Bizarro World" episode of "Seinfeld"? Elaine finds a group of friends that are like the benevolent twins of Jerry, George, et al. and spends a lot of time with them. Since her old group of friends help themselves to snacks at each other's apartments, she does the same thing at her new friend's, only to be met with bemusement and "Ever heard of asking?" That incident begins the increasingly awkward situation after which Elaine flees back to her original friends. :lol: