Sunshine Mary takes a stand against ugly modern women

[GolightlyGrrl]

Extreme conservatives are obsessed with how women look. And if a woman (esp. a liberal or feminist woman) doesn't measure up in the looks department, conservatives have absolute fits. It's like someone's short hair, size 16 figure, wrinkles, saggy boobs, big nose, unfashionable clothing are crimes against humanity.

I think this maybe because the only so-called positive qualities a lot of conservative women, whether they are famous like Sarah Palin or Ann Coulter, or mostly unknown bloggers like Shit Stain, Judgy Bitch or Alte from Traditional Christianity bring to the table are attractiveness. Lord knows, they certainly don't bring kindness, wisdom, humor, empathy, talent or skills.

Hey, I know for certain Ann Coulter can't write as well as me but at least she doesn't have chunky thighs!

See, she wins!

[NurseNell]

I'm not a person who smiles a lot. I feel self conscious smiling and I think I look weird when I smile. I really don't want people telling me to smile.

[louisa05]

You wouldn't want to share in law photos would you?

It drives me nuts because I won't go out with my hair uncombed or go to an event with clothes that have stains on them. So I constantly get bugged by them about how I am overdressed when I am merely wearing clean clothes and happened to comb my hair before leaving the house. Someday I'm going to crack and tell them that.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

It's not just conservatives...many men are raised to believe either directly or indirectly that women exist for their sake, and have a duty to be physically pleasing. When they see an unattractive woman, or even just one who is unstyled, they are not just disgusted - they are actually offended. "How dare she not fit with my standard of what is attractive?"

For women who are offended by unattractive or unstyled women, I think a lot of it comes down to resentment that another woman has not made it a goal to be as attractive as possible. "How dare she be happy looking like THAT, when I have dieted and worn uncomfortable clothes and spent an hour putting on makeup this morning?" (BTW I do all those things, so no judgement.) I remember catching myself thinking this about other women when I was younger. I grew out of it and realized that it was I who could take a cue from women who were relaxed about wearing comfortable clothes and no makeup in public. As a result I stopped doing stupid, unhealthy things like wearing stilettos every single day, for example, and I started wearing yoga pants on flights and to run errands because seriously WHO CARES, I want to be comfy doing those things. I guess SM is still stuck in an adolescent mentality where she can't feel good about herself unless she's putting others down.

[FJismyheadship]

Do it Louisa... do it....

[fun2beme]

And yet there appear to be a good number of fundies who go for the baggy denim jumper/no make-up/no-fuss hair-do's look who seem to hate exercise, dieting, and applying make-up as much as I do. Seems like fundies are one extreme or the other.

[Hane]

Yeah. Years ago, some random guy in a hospital elevator asked why I wasn't smiling. I shot back, "Because my grandmother is dying, my kid sister is in traction, and my supervisor is coming to observe me tomorrow." (all true) I guess it was more polite than "Fuck you."

Regarding how other women look: I find it a lot more satisfying to notice people who do look nicely put together (which can be done, even in comfy clothes and without fussy hair and makeup!), or who have pleasant or intelligent things to say, or who are performing acts of kindness.

[JMarie]

Her whole blog infuriates me. She's a speech therapist who works with kids? Good grief!

[polecat]

Could we please see a photo of "Sunshine Mary"?

She's on Facebook.

And, after doing the creepy-FB-stalker thing, I think I've discovered her source of hatred for women who aren't a size 2. Something along the same lines of ex-smokers who go postal over people who still smoke.

That's really not meant to be catty, either. Her body is totally her business. But her body shaming of others is bullshit.

[jenny_islander]

Yup. The last time a TSA agent told me, "Cheer up! It can't be that bad," I was returning from a funeral. It was only because he could have kept me from flying for roughly no reason that I didn't tell him to bite me. Emotional auditing is gross and a really bad idea.

I have to deal with a guy who tells me to smile all the fricking time, literally he doesn't bother to say hello, he "greets" me by saying, "You're not smiling, darlin'." But he's the MP on gate duty at a military base where I have to go as part of my job, so I try to walk a line between refusing to perform for him and, you know, not being pulled over and searched.

[cindyluvs24]

I'd ratrher have a Resting Bitch Face than an Passive/Agressive Bitch Blog.

[Peas n carrots]

To my constant misfortune I apparently have a very approachable vibe, and I've had to learn how to have a bitch face if I don't want creepers coming up to me to chat me up, or the homeless guy I pass every day call me "princess" and other annoyances.

[ThisOlGirl]

Hmm if's that's what she's aiming for, maybe we should get SSM a Netflix subscription so she can catch up on Orange is the New Black. Laura Prepon plays a fairly glamourous lesbian who is an serving time for drug smuggling. She even manages to wear black eyeliner in prison.

I'd say SSM would show up with a totally new look in a heartbeat.

Thread jacking to say I luuuurv Orange Is The New Black! I blew through all the episodes in 2 days when I was sick last week, and now I'm kicking myself. Can't wait for the next "season".

[snuggles911]

I'm in the seldom smiles camp, too. I'll bet I'm happier than SSM and her ilk who put on phony smiles to please their "alpha" men, but I don't smile unless I'm genuinely happy about something. I'm very intense and introverted and if you passed me on the street you'd think that either I was angry or in deep thought.

I hate it when guys tell me to smile. I actually avoid the seafood aisle at my local supermarket because the guy behind the counter will call out, "Hey pretty lady, why aren't you smiling?" whenever I pass by. Dude, I could be trying to pass a kidney stone for all you know. Give me a break.

[Jinger Jar]

Am I the only one who's starting to think that perhaps Sunshine Mary is a little too extreme to be real?

I have no doubt there is someone behind this blog and the FB presence, but there are a couple of things that are starting to ping my fake-o-meter. The first one is that the blog is pitch perfect in tone and content when it comes to everything that misogynistic, MRA types want to hear: women are less intelligent than men, they deserve to be raped, rape is overblown to begin with, they shouldn't have the franchise or be educated, their gainful employment takes jobs away from men, their purpose in marriage is to serve as baby machine and ejaculation receptacle, they're fat and ugly... hell, they don't even know how to smile right. Sadly, I've read a lot of MRA blogs, and most of them focus on one or two aspects of What's Wrong With the Women, and Sunshine Mary just hits them all, all the damned time. It's starting to smell like overkill to me.

The second thing that's starting to bother me is if she's really married to the uber-alpha Holy Hand Grenade, how is she even online with all of these unknown guys fawning all over her? Why does this manly man put up with his wife having a throng of male admirers? More to the point, how is he Okay with all of the flirting and pandering she does?

Another thing that bugs me is that on her old blog she wore the mantle of traditional Catholic and frequently blogged about everything that was wrong with the modern Church, especially where women were concerned. Her discussions of religion now are about Christianity, and to my knowledge she's never blogged about leaving the Church. Was she ever really Catholic, or was the Church another tool for her to get her digs in against women?

Finally, when the drama exploded over the shutting down of her old blog, supposedly because she was being threatened, several anonymous commenters assured readers that they knew Sunshine Mary in real life, that they had her actual email and phone number, and they'd had phone conversations with both her and her husband. It seemed to me that perhaps someone somewhere had questioned her authenticity, maybe even discovered she hadn't been completely honest about herself, and this caused her to need to close up shop rather suddenly.

I don't know... I might be talking out of my ass. It's been a long day and I've just finished my second glass of wine, so this is entirely possible. :lol: But I can't get rid of the feeling that Sunshine Mary isn't entirely real, know what I mean?

[Muriel Heslop]

Delurking for this pile of steaming poo.

Just read some of her previous entries. It's not her entries that are leaving me bewildered. It's the endless stream of navel-gazing, misinformed, bigoted, self-rationalizing male comments that follow.

Here's a clue for you wanna-be alpha males who can't figure out the universe of women: At the top of the list of eminently un-sexy, undesirable, and non-masculine actions is this one: spending hours (or any time at all, really) hunched over your keyboard gossiping and whinging to other non-alphas about women.

This is friendly advice coming from exactly the kind of woman that you claim you want to marry: single-mate, childbearing, (mostly) submissive, attractive, honest, and intelligent. You feel you should have a right to "sex up" a wife like me? Even at my most naive age, even while the magical hormonal stimulant of ovulation was running at its peak, I knew that guys like you were losers. You prove by your actions that you don't have what it takes.

[AuntCloud]

Thread jacking to say I luuuurv Orange Is The New Black! I blew through all the episodes in 2 days when I was sick last week, and now I'm kicking myself. Can't wait for the next "season".

Then get your countenance to Quiver Full of Wordly Distractions - we have a thread there and I can't wait to see what *everyone* thinks about this truly great piece of TV. Hey, it's very worldly and it's definitely a distraction. Wonder what SSM would make of Big Boo or Suzanne "Crazy Eyes". At least Lorna wears lipstick.

[Ms Jess]

Am I the only one who's starting to think that perhaps Sunshine Mary is a little too extreme to be real?

I have no doubt there is someone behind this blog and the FB presence, but there are a couple of things that are starting to ping my fake-o-meter. The first one is that the blog is pitch perfect in tone and content when it comes to everything that misogynistic, MRA types want to hear: women are less intelligent than men, they deserve to be raped, rape is overblown to begin with, they shouldn't have the franchise or be educated, their gainful employment takes jobs away from men, their purpose in marriage is to serve as baby machine and ejaculation receptacle, they're fat and ugly... hell, they don't even know how to smile right. Sadly, I've read a lot of MRA blogs, and most of them focus on one or two aspects of What's Wrong With the Women, and Sunshine Mary just hits them all, all the damned time. It's starting to smell like overkill to me.

The second thing that's starting to bother me is if she's really married to the uber-alpha Holy Hand Grenade, how is she even online with all of these unknown guys fawning all over her? Why does this manly man put up with his wife having a throng of male admirers? More to the point, how is he Okay with all of the flirting and pandering she does?

Another thing that bugs me is that on her old blog she wore the mantle of traditional Catholic and frequently blogged about everything that was wrong with the modern Church, especially where women were concerned. Her discussions of religion now are about Christianity, and to my knowledge she's never blogged about leaving the Church. Was she ever really Catholic, or was the Church another tool for her to get her digs in against women?

Finally, when the drama exploded over the shutting down of her old blog, supposedly because she was being threatened, several anonymous commenters assured readers that they knew Sunshine Mary in real life, that they had her actual email and phone number, and they'd had phone conversations with both her and her husband. It seemed to me that perhaps someone somewhere had questioned her authenticity, maybe even discovered she hadn't been completely honest about herself, and this caused her to need to close up shop rather suddenly.

I don't know... I might be talking out of my ass. It's been a long day and I've just finished my second glass of wine, so this is entirely possible. :lol: But I can't get rid of the feeling that Sunshine Mary isn't entirely real, know what I mean?

I have not read much of her blog since I only came across it this morning because of this thread. But I did skim a few older posts and some comments and had many of he same thoughts. She is awfully flirtatious for someone professing to be the ideal virtuous wife. She's fishy.

Also, what is MRA?

[NurseNell]

Another thing that bugs me is that on her old blog she wore the mantle of traditional Catholic and frequently blogged about everything that was wrong with the modern Church, especially where women were concerned. Her discussions of religion now are about Christianity, and to my knowledge she's never blogged about leaving the Church. Was she ever really Catholic, or was the Church another tool for her to get her digs in against women?

I don't know... I might be talking out of my ass. It's been a long day and I've just finished my second glass of wine, so this is entirely possible. :lol: But I can't get rid of the feeling that Sunshine Mary isn't entirely real, know what I mean?

When I was looking around her blog yesterday what I remember reading was that she was baptized Catholic but as an adult became an evangelical Christian.

ETA this quote from her blog:

About me: My real name is Sunshine; I was baptized in the Catholic Church under the name of Mary as an infant. I was raised in a non-religious household but became a Protestant Christian fourteen years ago when I was thirty years old. I am a wife and mother.

[Jinger Jar]

Also, what is MRA?

Men's Rights Activist

Someone who thinks everything wrong that happens to a man, from his inability to get a girlfriend to fact that he's unemployed, can be traced right back to a grand feminist conspiracy to take everything away from teh menz. :roll:

[Cheetah]

Hmm... in no particular order responding to this...

My resting face seems to be getting bitchier (or really, sadder) as I get older... I'm noticing my mouth corners drooping when I'm not making an effort to smile. Maybe I should get plastic surgery so I can maintain a pleasing countenance to the menfolk ;-).

Pajama pants in public gross me out on anyone older than 22. But it's more the idea that you haven't showered since 2 days ago and are probably going to wear that to bed again tonight...

Yoga pants/leggings are fine unless I can see camel toe. In which case .... ew.

Skirts/ dresses... I enjoy wearing casual skirts and dresses, but they are generally less practical than pants.... most skirts don't have pockets, so if I'm walking the dog or whatever I have to carry a purse for my keys and cell phone... awkward. Also, where I live (SF Bay ARea) we need to dress in layers most of the year, which is easier in pants than in a dress.

[Ms Jess]

Men's Rights Activist

Someone who thinks everything wrong that happens to a man, from his inability to get a girlfriend to fact that he's unemployed, can be traced right back to a grand feminist conspiracy to take everything away from teh menz. :roll:

FFS. Really? What a load of ... Never mind.

Thanks for enlightening me, though. :)

[JesusFightClub]

Also in no particular order:

Being ordered to smile. Last time that happened to me I was having a wee bit of a PTSD moment and got "Cheer up, sweetheart, it might never happen!". This was probably the worst time you could have picked to say that to me if you'd waited for 20 years, because what I was upset about is that it actually. did. :doh:

I also recommend that Sunshine Mary never moves to a scheme in the central belt. She'll see a hell of a lot worse things than a woman wearing shorts, we'll put it that way. :lol:

[JesusFightClub]

I am loving the comments. They are comedy gold. At least half of the "females" who have posted aren't actually female, and then there's this:

Years ago my sister was working on her BA in Psychology at Auburn University For one of her classes she was required to perform an experiment and write a report. She recruited her three roommates (all of whom were reasonably attractive and height-weight proportionate with long hair) for a study in how a woman’s apparel effected their male peers. They compared the variance in response by whether they were wearing dresses, blouse and skirt, or pants. The metric to measure differentiation in response was whether a man would hold the door for them. They worked together at several heavily trafficked buildings, timing their approaches to be 5-10 feet behind male students or faculty entering or exiting the building.

Over the course of two weeks they spent at least one hour each day at this and men were over three times more likely to hold a door open for them if they were wearing either a dress or skirt, as opposed to wearing pants of any sort. The type of pants (whether a dressy pantsuit or jeans and T-shirt) didn’t effect the response from men. To control for personal attractiveness they all wore the same thing each day (pants, dresses or skirts). Boob size was found to be irrelevant (one was DD, two were C’s and one was a heavy B-cup). She couldn’t remember if they’d controlled for wearing heels or not.

In over 600 separate observations, only about 20% of the men held the door for them if they were in pants but over 60% of the men held the door for them if they were in feminine attire. Not only was feminine apparel strongly correlated to gentlemanly behavior, but men were almost twice as likely to attempt conversation. None of them were asked out on dates while wearing pants but all of them were asked out while wearing dresses (at this point boob size was somewhat positively correlated to number of date requests).

Her female overweight feminist professor gave her a C- on the paper.

I think the professor was generous :lol:

If, indeed, this ever happened outside male-wank-fantasy land...

[Carla Bruni]

^^ ahahahaha. You know, it's funny, I was raised to always hold the door for people - men and women - because I was raised by people with manners and not wild wolves. I even do so if the guy who happens to be behind me isn't wearing a dress!

I never knew my DD-cupped self was exhibiting "gentlemanly" behavior.