Is this as horrible as I think? - Adoption

[Stacie]

I think that is TOTAL B.S.

First, they should haven't told these kids that they were adopting them until they knew for sure it would happen. The orphanage also shouldn't have let them be misled.

But to go back on their word? And the chances of them being adopted together are small.... Wow. We're not supposed to be here to judge, but wow. I could not in good conscious mislead an adult, let alone a kid no matter how good my intentions might have been.

Not to mention, their actions could make it harder for foreign adoptions later on.

My friend adopted a little girl from Guatemala after being told 9 years after her son was born that it would literally take a miracle for her to get pregnant again. Right after bringing 5 month old Gabriella home from Guatemala....she got pregnant. She can't imagine her life without Gabriella in it.

[Cassandra]

I have no idea what happened to the money they raised. Hopefully they did something good with it, but probably not. I sent her a reply saying as nicely as I could that I thought what she did was beyond horrid and that she should be ashamed. She did not reply but immediatly after I sent it she posted this on her wall:

"It saddens me so much when I become reacquainted with someone who used to be so strong in the LORD only to discover that they have fallen to the wayside and become so entrenched with bitterness, hate and the world that they are blind to the workings of God. We can only fall on our knees and implore the LORD to break their hard hearts and bring them back into fellowship with HIM. True peace and happiness can only be found in HIS path"

I posted: "If God's path involves hurting children I'm cool with skipping out."

She deleted the comment, unfriended and blocked me. I think is it pretty safe to say that this "friendship" is over. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

I love when people delete the things they don't want to hear.

The only reason I could think to cancel an adoption when you become pregnant is maybe you don't have enough money to raise three kids? But even then, the difference between two and three can't be that large, and if you're really that close to being financially unstable maybe you shouldn't be adopting anyway, so moot point I guess.

Ugh.

I feel like fundies+adoption=Bad 90% of the time.

[MonkeyMomma]

OK, now THIS is the saddest thing I've read today. :(

If I were desperate for kids, and I had an adoption in the works and found out I was pregnant, I would be THRILLED. Overwhelmed, but thrilled. I thought children were like flowers, you can never have too many?

Well handled, formergothardite. :clap:

[browngrl]

In the last year there have been a few people in Canada who faked having cancer and then raised funds to help their "treatment". When the scam was discovered of course legal action was taken but it left a lot of people, myself included with a sick feeling . Raising funds to adopt a child and then stopping the adoption because a "more desirable"child came along leaves me with the same sick feeling. I guess the only good thing is the children who will not have to face these people ever again.

edited because I really should try and proof read before I post

[dianapavelovna]

I would call this woman a cunt, but she lacks the warmth and the depth.

I cribbed that line from someone here on FJ, and it is SO useful.

[Cassandra]

Raising funds to adopt a child and then stopping the adoption because a "more desirable"child came along leaves me with the same sick feeling. I guess the only good thing is the children who will not have to face these people ever again.

Formergothardite, if I were you (and if you really want to cause trouble) I would make this very publicly known. I imagine some people who donated might want their money back, I certainly would.

[JosiePye]

What a passive aggressive brat! I wonder if there is any way to find out just what was done with the money they raised for the adoption?

[nutella addict]

I believe it was back when I was still lurking that someone posted this blog on here somewhere, but just in case anyone else wants to see pretty much the polar opposite of this:

kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

I am still so amazed by this girl. I'm pretty sure she's a year or two younger than me. It's heartwarming and humbling and everything else that this mess with this awful couple isn't. That couple could learn many things about Christian love and humility from this Catholic (cue fundie *gasp*) wonderwoman.

I hope I posted the link in the right non-linked way, if I haven't do let me know!

[shesinsane]

I vote horrible.

I don't want to wish trouble upon the baby they conceived, but it would serve them right if something happened to biochild and all they had left was people telling them "It's God's will."

Instead, I'll hope their biochild grows up to HATE her parents and cuts them out of her life entirely, not even sending Christmas cards and presents..

[Austin]

I have no idea what happened to the money they raised. Hopefully they did something good with it, but probably not. I sent her a reply saying as nicely as I could that I thought what she did was beyond horrid and that she should be ashamed. She did not reply but immediatly after I sent it she posted this on her wall:

"It saddens me so much when I become reacquainted with someone who used to be so strong in the LORD only to discover that they have fallen to the wayside and become so entrenched with bitterness, hate and the world that they are blind to the workings of God. We can only fall on our knees and implore the LORD to break their hard hearts and bring them back into fellowship with HIM. True peace and happiness can only be found in HIS path"

I posted: "If God's path involves hurting children I'm cool with skipping out."

She deleted the comment, unfriended and blocked me. I think is it pretty safe to say that this "friendship" is over. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Buh-bye, bitch.

[Austin]

I wished she blogged now because I bet it would be a treasure trove of snark. I've known her since my teens and she has always been a person who the adults loved and held up as a shiny example of being a Christian but everyone else hated because she was a passive aggressive bitch. I feel sorry for her daughter and I hope she isn't able to ever have anymore kids.

I know, right? Too bad we couldn't lure her over to FJ - we'd have a good ole time with her. The passive-aggressive ones are always the most shocked b/c they think their bullshit way of saying nasty things absolves them of all guilt - until we tell them it doesn't!

She can't defend this. Nobody can defend this. I'd love to see her try.

[Want More Babies]

Pathetic, simply pathetic.

Even her Bible would agree. Guess she forgot to read that verse. :o :o :o

http://bible.cc/james/1-8.htm

[Kitty]

Disgusting.

Of course, if she's OK with treating adopted children this way, how do youthink she's going to treat her biological child(ren)?

[Olivia]

Wow, this makes me feel just sick. Those poor children.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

God, reading that just makes my stomach hurt. Those poor kids. It definitely sounds like they dodged a bullet in the long run, but they certainly don't, and probably won't, understand that.

My daughter's new Kinder teacher adopted a little girl from Africa earlier this year. They were in the middle of the process when she, very unexpectedly, got pregnant with her 3rd bio child. So her husband went alone to bring this girl home and the baby was born around the same time frame. This woman teaches a room-full of young children all day and then goes home to 4 kids, including a baby and a child who is acclimating to a whole new world, and she does it with style from what I can tell. :mrgreen:

[DamnPrecious]

:angry-cussingblack: I hope these people will never conceive again.

[Kitty]

:angry-cussingblack: I hope these people will never conceive again.

I hope so too.

Children are not commodities. You can't pick one out, then turn around and say "ooo, I want THAT one instead!" and drop it. How fundies treat their children never fails to appall me. It's like in every blog and snark forum, they reach new lows.

[Olivia]

:angry-cussingblack: I hope these people will never conceive again.

And while I don't think infertility is a punishment from God, I hope SHE thinks it's a punishment for oath-breaking. That'd make me happy. But of course, no, her type of religion just exists to be self-serving.

[ChunkyBarbie]

I have no idea what happened to the money they raised. Hopefully they did something good with it, but probably not. I sent her a reply saying as nicely as I could that I thought what she did was beyond horrid and that she should be ashamed. She did not reply but immediatly after I sent it she posted this on her wall:

"It saddens me so much when I become reacquainted with someone who used to be so strong in the LORD only to discover that they have fallen to the wayside and become so entrenched with bitterness, hate and the world that they are blind to the workings of God. We can only fall on our knees and implore the LORD to break their hard hearts and bring them back into fellowship with HIM. True peace and happiness can only be found in HIS path"

I posted: "If God's path involves hurting children I'm cool with skipping out."

She deleted the comment, unfriended and blocked me. I think is it pretty safe to say that this "friendship" is over. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

She is a disgusting and stupid bitch. I applaud your restraint. People like her :angry-cussingblack: make me want to slap the stoopid out of them.

[mythoughtis]

Yes, it is horrible. to use their own phrase against them... children are GIFTS from god.... not LOANS from god.... not RENTED from god. If they felt that God wanted them to adopt children, then they turned their backs on God by cancelling out because they got pregnant.

If we are to follow their ORIGINAL logic, God gave them the gift of a baby because they accepted the GIFT of older children. I wonder if they will live in fear the rest of their lives worrying if God will want his gift of a baby back? Because in their messed up heads, if that baby dies, this cancellation will be why.

Horrible people

[thoughtful]

How very Emma-esque of her! :angry-banghead:

Glad you told her your feelings and that she'll be out of your life now.

[SunnyAndrsn]

God that's sick. What a perversion of scripture.

Dear _____

I was always taught that as a Christian, we help our fellow man. God did not set you on a false path with adoption, or to cause false hope to already disadvantage children. I'm saddened to hear that your grace towards these children was NOT sufficient. How would you feel if God took back his salvation? That's what you did.

On the other hand, I'm so happy to hear that God's plan for those children has played out. What a tragic circumstance it would have placed them in, to find in your home that they would never have measured up or have been "enough". I will continue to pray for their future and hope that they will find happiness and security in their futures.

James 1:5-7 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

[Patsy]

That is appalling. You do not make a committment to a child and then back out of it. Their conduct was inappropriate and the orphanage should not have allowed them to make statements saying they WOULD adopt them, before it was definitely progressing. In my mind this is similar to disruptions made out of laziness (Emma's 'Waah, I didn't google 'older child adoption' and then my kids sneezed when I didn't want to!' or that woman who put the eight-year-old Russian boy on a plane on his own because 'I can't deal with this! In fact I can't even disrupt in the way most likely to cause the least damage to him! Fuck him, it's not like I have any obligation to his care.') They didn't pull out because they realised the children's needs were too great (which, if they had, I'm going to go right ahead and guess it would have been because they didn't bother to ask, not because the orphanage didn't inform them until late in the piece.)

There is a similar story in "There is No Me Without You", where a woman comes by the orphanage, picks out the kids she wants, dotes on them, they get all psyched up about it, and then she returns with her husband and they take away an older girl. Hideous human beings.

They broke a family. They told these children they had parents, and they would be with them, and then they ruined it. They have caused as much pain and evil in these children's lives as their parents' death did.

And just to continue this thread as my personal rant-box - if God led you to adoption, and then you felt like he wasn't pushing you to it anymore, YOU STILL MADE A PROMISE. The only reason you could have not to go through with it would be if God 'led you' to not adopt, and guess what? The Bible says that you have to keep the promise anyway.

[flojo]

I can only agree with EVERYONE else - truly horrid.

This shows they don't consider adopted children to be truly theirs. A second best option. This sickens me. It doesn't simply mean the children wat for a second family. They will now have trust issues.

Also second the recommendation of kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com... It makes me remember that there are people out there who are not cruel and sickening.

[Austin]

There is a similar story in "There is No Me Without You", where a woman comes by the orphanage, picks out the kids she wants, dotes on them, they get all psyched up about it, and then she returns with her husband and they take away an older girl. Hideous human beings.

This book is by the same author, Melissa Faye Greene, that I mentioned upthread who has since wrote No Biking in the House Without a Helmet. I highly recommend her, as she does not sugarcoat, and yeah, its hard, but she certainly can restore faith in mankind after how we see some of these "Christians" treat orphans, because she knows the true meaning of grace (and humor).