Odds and ends at the Maxwells

[sparkles]

I seemed to remember that too, KP, so I was surprised when I turned up this one. Maybe that post wasn't around her birthday and I'm just conflating the two. I'll keep looking.

[uber frau]

I wouldn't be surprised if the Maxwells had quietly scrubbed it. They're good at that.

[Toothfairy]

This.This.And This Again.

Steve can not let his children go. His sons only manage to leave and cleave within a 1 mi radius of Maxhell HQs. Even if, and that is a BIG even, Steve-O founds someone who he would relinquish his headship duties to, no way would he want his daughter too far out of his site. Since most future headships probably have little interest in moving to 123 Maxwell Lane, Levenworth KS, his daughters are stuck bunking together until Steve dies and they split themselves up amongst their brothers.

What is he afraid of? His kids learning that he's an idiot? That there is so much to see outside of the maxwell home?

[Toothfairy]

It's beyond apparent that Steve is never going to let any of the girls go.

Number 1, the guy would have to buy a house LITERALLY next door. Steve would not permit a daughter to live down the street, and most certainly not on the outside of town, or heaven forbid, OUT OF TOWN.

Number two, fundie guys grow up hearing how one day they are destined to be the head and ruler of a household. With Steve, that would not occur. The guy would never be allowed to have any say over anything, effectively "emasculating" him and forcing him to remain a subservient child. This will not jive with any fundie guy, no matter how cowed.

Does he have control over his grand kids too? That would be sad.

[twin2]

Does he have control over his grand kids too? That would be sad.

Why do you think they now have an "Aunties Park"?

[nokidsmom]

It's beyond apparent that Steve is never going to let any of the girls go.

Number 1, the guy would have to buy a house LITERALLY next door. Steve would not permit a daughter to live down the street, and most certainly not on the outside of town, or heaven forbid, OUT OF TOWN.

Number two, fundie guys grow up hearing how one day they are destined to be the head and ruler of a household. With Steve, that would not occur. The guy would never be allowed to have any say over anything, effectively "emasculating" him and forcing him to remain a subservient child. This will not jive with any fundie guy, no matter how cowed.

Not to get a bit OT but this is one of the reasons that galls me about Steveovah. The bolded could be my dad. We weren't fundie and didn't believe in the headship crap but we were a bit insular and my dad was way overprotective of me and my sisters to the point that getting married was a serious problem. Like Steve, he honestly expected me and my sisters to remain in the neighborhood after marriage and all hell broke loose when Mr. No and I made our own decision to move away. It was to the other side of town, not that far away but it might as well been to Timbuktu. I was totally taken back when both my parents (because my mom was ok with this too) freaked out and told me how selfish Mr. No was for taking me away. I kid you not. I got a serious amount of grief during my engagement. I was dubbed the "bad daughter". Something that I am sure Sarah would not want to live with. They circled the wagons around my sisters who remained single and at home into their 30s. They didn't really date but managed to meet my BIL (one through friends, the other online). One sister has remained in the neighborhood and my parents are very overinvolved in her life and that of her kids. The other moved 1300 miles away. She got grief too.

Back to the regularly scheduled programing, but this is why Sarah is seriously stuck. She is the one who needs to stand up for herself and go after her future rather than wait for her father's permission. She does not need her father's permission. But she's too immersed in the cult of Daddy to see that.

[socalrules]

Since most of the fundies "children" we talk about on FJ are so rigidly controlled, I have to wonder if they actually know they can leave anytime they want. Do they know that at 18 you are an adult and can leave home if your want? For all we know, parents could be convincing their children that they can't leave without parental consent, regardless of age, because it is against the law. We take for granted that they understand common rights like the rest of us. It may be more than "God" keeping them home. Fundies are so good at twisting the Bible, I can see them having no trouble twisting the law as well.

[FloraKitty35]

Not to get a bit OT but this is one of the reasons that galls me about Steveovah. The bolded could be my dad. We weren't fundie and didn't believe in the headship crap but we were a bit insular and my dad was way overprotective of me and my sisters to the point that getting married was a serious problem. Like Steve, he honestly expected me and my sisters to remain in the neighborhood after marriage and all hell broke loose when Mr. No and I made our own decision to move away. It was to the other side of town, not that far away but it might as well been to Timbuktu. I was totally taken back when both my parents (because my mom was ok with this too) freaked out and told me how selfish Mr. No was for taking me away. I kid you not. I got a serious amount of grief during my engagement. I was dubbed the "bad daughter". Something that I am sure Sarah would not want to live with. They circled the wagons around my sisters who remained single and at home into their 30s. They didn't really date but managed to meet my BIL (one through friends, the other online). One sister has remained in the neighborhood and my parents are very overinvolved in her life and that of her kids. The other moved 1300 miles away. She got grief too.

Back to the regularly scheduled programing, but this is why Sarah is seriously stuck. She is the one who needs to stand up for herself and go after her future rather than wait for her father's permission. She does not need her father's permission. But she's too immersed in the cult of Daddy to see that.

I am also going to wager that Sarah has nothing in her name (car, cell phone, bank account, etc...). Stevhovah controls all in Maxhell.

[SPHASH]

I wonder why it was OK for NR Anna whose family is just as fundie as the Maxwells to move halfway across the country to Leavenworth KS but Chris couldn't move to WA. I wonder how her parents handled that.

[WonderingInWA]

I wonder why it was OK for NR Anna whose family is just as fundie as the Maxwells to move halfway across the country to Leavenworth KS. I wonder how her parents handled that.

I don't think they are nearly as controlling as the Maxwells. Conservative, absolutely, and in fact she grew up rubbing elbows with the Bradricks (small world!), but honestly, I think the Maxwells out-fundie either of those families. They were probably just glad they found her a match, no matter the terms.

[nausicaa]

Since most of the fundies "children" we talk about on FJ are so rigidly controlled, I have to wonder if they actually know they can leave anytime they want. Do they know that at 18 you are an adult and can leave home if your want? For all we know, parents could be convincing their children that they can't leave without parental consent, regardless of age, because it is against the law. We take for granted that they understand common rights like the rest of us. It may be more than "God" keeping them home. Fundies are so good at twisting the Bible, I can see them having no trouble twisting the law as well.

I wonder about this as well. I suspect there might be some fibbing about what rights one actually attains upon one's eighteenth birthday, and in particular the fact that women do not have to be married to buy property, invest money, or bring charges against someone.

This is in addition to the stories I am positive they tell them of how violent the outer world is and how it is almost a certainty that women will be sexually assaulted and live in abject poverty without a husband to take care of them.

Damn, now I really want to free Sarah.

[skankbiscuit]

I don't think he will ever let Sarah go, but I think Anna will get married within the next 2 years.

[nokidsmom]

I am also going to wager that Sarah has nothing in her name (car, cell phone, bank account, etc...). Stevhovah controls all in Maxhell.

I think this is likely. She has nothing that can help her leave.

[Seren Ann]

Debi Pearl would certainly agree with you!

nogreaterjoy.org/articles/need-a-spouse-anyone/?topic_slug=singles

John-David Duggar needs to be told this... He seems to think that his sister being an old maid in fundie world is a point of pride. Blech. :roll:

[16strong]

I think this is likely. She has nothing that can help her leave.

I disagree, in a fashion. She may not have personal assets to her name, but I think I'm safe in speaking for all of us when I say she does have FJ on her side if she ever wants to leave. I would donate money to help her out in a heartbeat, and I know many others here would, too, as well as provide her with a place to stay and resources to get a job. She has options, if leaving is what she truly wants.

[nokidsmom]

I disagree, in a fashion. She may not have personal assets to her name, but I think I'm safe in speaking for all of us when I say she does have FJ on her side if she ever wants to leave. I would donate money to help her out in a heartbeat, and I know many others here would, too, as well as provide her with a place to stay and resources to get a job. She has options, if leaving is what she truly wants.

You are right, many here would help her out, including yours truly.

[singsingsing]

Sarah Maxwell would never turn to FJ for help. She thinks/would think FJ is of Satan. It would be like the equivalent of one of us turning to the Pearls if we needed child-rearing advice.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, I would help Sarah out too, if she ever decided she wanted to leave. I think she would be too scared of us to even ask though, and I think she is too afraid of the world in general to ever think about leaving.

[uber frau]

You are right, many here would help her out, including yours truly.

To escape, you need to be comfortable enough with the idea of escaping that it looks better than whatever it is you're trying to escape from. As shitty and unfulfilling as Sarah Maxwell's existence might be, she has had the idea of anything else well and truly smothered since she was about Abby's age. Steve has completely crushed her spirit and her ability to ask questions or to think for herself. At this point she can't think far enough outside the box for escape to cross her mind, in fact, I don't even think she realises that there is a box to be thinking outside of. She's basically the biological equivalent of a robot.

[SPHASH]

You are right, many here would help her out, including yours truly.

I'd help her out too. From financial support to finding a normal church to preparing for a job interview. I also help her get counseling cuz she will need to be deprogrammed after living in Maxhell for 30 years.

[Hane]

I doubt she'd ever turn to us for help. Stevehovah has already gotten her convinced that his own parents and brother and Teri's sister Tami are of the Devil.

[Trynn]

Does Sarah even know we EXIST? Kinda hard to turn to someone for help of you don't even know they are out there.

I would not be able to help much, but I could throw some money her way and, importantly, I could be her friend. She'd definitely need one of those as well.

[SPHASH]

I doubt she'd ever turn to us for help. Stevehovah has already gotten her convinced that his own parents and brother and Teri's sister Tami are of the Devil.

Doesn't Tami and her husband visit them a lot? I remember reading a few posts about her.

[Justme]

John-David Duggar needs to be told this... He seems to think that his sister being an old maid in fundie world is a point of pride. Blech. :roll:

HaHa!! We should print a copy of Debi's article and mail it to Nath and Chris! Shame on them!!! Chris especially, since Sarah was the one who told him about Anna!

[nokidsmom]

To escape, you need to be comfortable enough with the idea of escaping that it looks better than whatever it is you're trying to escape from. As shitty and unfulfilling as Sarah Maxwell's existence might be, she has had the idea of anything else well and truly smothered since she was about Abby's age. Steve has completely crushed her spirit and her ability to ask questions or to think for herself. At this point she can't think far enough outside the box for escape to cross her mind, in fact, I don't even think she realises that there is a box to be thinking outside of. She's basically the biological equivalent of a robot.

This is really the crux of the matter. She needs to decide that she would rather risk life outside the compound, no matter what the obstacles/problems and probable complete separation from her family is better than life within. In order to get there, she needs to realize that there's something wrong with her life and the problem is Daddy. She's living the life Daddy wants, not Jesus. She's been lied to and manipulated to stay exactly where she is and she needs to realize that and get seriously pissed off about it. Then she can think about life outside, and get comfortable enough with that idea in order to act on it. Not having assets such as car or money is something that can be overcome but it would certainly help if she did have something to her name.