We're Always Learning New Things with Ken Alexander: Part 2

[Three and Done]

Methinks we need a sooper speshul smiley that represents goggle tactics! What say you, Madam Bunny?

[RosyDaisy]

Fuck you, Cabinetman! Your just another dumbass fundie who thinks he's always being misunderstood and mischaracterized. Boo fucking hoo!

[Curious]

Methinks we need a sooper speshul smiley that represents goggle tactics! What say you, Madam Bunny?

absolutely! We have some talented artists here (Sparkles, I'm looking at you. I'm sure we have others, I just know about Sparkles for sure).

If anyone wants to make FJ specific smilies, I'm happy to add them, btw. They don't have to be the super tiny ones. We have some of the bigger ones and they are fine. I would ask that they be on a transparent background, if possible, as they will go on all templates better, but it's not required.

[lawfulevil]

It looks a little fuzzy here for some reason but it's fine on Tinypic itself.

Google goggles and a wizard hat!

[Curious]

It looks a little fuzzy here for some reason but it's fine on Tinypic itself.

Google goggles and a wizard hat!

If you send me the original, I'll upload it to our server and it can live here with us and not be fuzzy from hotlinking :) Attach to a PM or email, either way is good :)

[lawfulevil]

Hopefully that works. Otherwise I'll fix it tomorrow, I spose.

[JaChelle Sugar]

Wow I step away after ken flounced and look what happened! Quick recap pretty please?

[lawfulevil]

Oh shit. Well, Ken's little buddy Cabinetman turned up in pretty short order after Ken flounced (coincidence... yeah, let's go with nope) to bloviate. It didn't work terribly well despite Wardrobewizard being (pretty obviously) more intelligent and coherent than Ken. That's not the highest bar on the planet, but hey, credit where credit is due. I suppose if he were as dumb as Ken he'd have whacked off something important by now, since he uses power tools for a living.

Anyway, Plan: New Patriarch turned pretty quickly on him (and Ken). I think his original intent was to come school us FJ bitchez after we whipped Ken's ass, but instead he got hunted down and confronted with all his pesky WORDS about, you know, abusing his wife... and threw a huge fit about his own total inability to comprehend this newfangled internets. He promptly went paranoid conspiracy whacko on us and ranted about the government? And sort of equated us TO the government? I didn't really understand that leap in logic. Well, any of his leaps. Quoting people talking and clicking their publicly available links to their public Facebook pages. Such persecution!

A couple people including me tried to tell him how to clean up his shit but he just screamed a lot, made Lori scrub his posts (they're still in the google cache ofc) and flounced. Flounce II: Flounce Harder.

I anticipate CM or Ken coming along to tell me how incoherent I'm being at the moment. But to be fair boys, it's 5 am and I've been throwing up all night (again, goddammit), I'm not exactly in peak form here. What's your excuse?

[formergothardite]

Wow I step away after ken flounced and look what happened! Quick recap pretty please?

Cabinet Man showed up. He tried to act like the story Lori wrote wasn't actually what happened. Some of us played along with this but it is mighty suspicious that he refuses to put in blame on Lori for writing a story that makes him look like an abusive asshole, so I don't think anyone actually believed his story. He says he is stronger than 99% of the men in the world. The government has killed more people than religion. Only 5% of girls are told they need to be submissive so he can't worry about the abused women. White Christian men are treated today like women were treated 200 years ago. WHY CAN'T WE JUST LEAVE HIM ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He has Lori delete his story and comments because he is pretty sure the government is going to come steal his kids if someone tells them about what he has been writing on the internet. He actually made a lot more sense than Ken.

[lawfulevil]

I raise my glass of ginger ale to you, formergothardite. You have a truly enviable memory.

I'd managed to blank out some of that, probably for my own scrabbling grasp on sanity. God, what an asshole.

[NEWSNARK] I was unaware that white Christian men today aren't allowed to vote, own property, manage their own finances, or divorce without either the consent of their spouses or 'cause'. Oh no! That must be terrible! I was also unaware that their day-to-day lives involved near-constant manual labor while simultaneously pregnant or caring for an infant. I didn't even know men COULD get pregnant, silly me! That must be something only white American Christian True Believers can do. I also didn't know they were selling young white male Christian virgins to the highest bidder. I'm not in the market for any at them moment, but I really needed a dogsitter last week and she doesn't speak English so all the biblethumping wouldn't have bothered her any. [/NEWSNARK]

Having met some young white male Christian virgins, they can't possibly cost any more than a week of boarding did.

[formergothardite]

I raise my glass of ginger ale to you, formergothardite. You have a truly enviable memory.

I'd managed to blank out some of that, probably for my own scrabbling grasp on sanity. God, what an asshole.

[NEWSNARK] I was unaware that white Christian men today aren't allowed to vote, own property, manage their own finances, or divorce without either the consent of their spouses or 'cause'. Oh no! That must be terrible! I was also unaware that their day-to-day lives involved near-constant manual labor while simultaneously pregnant or caring for an infant. I didn't even know men COULD get pregnant, silly me! That must be something only white American Christian True Believers can do. I also didn't know they were selling young white male Christian virgins to the highest bidder. I'm not in the market for any at them moment, but I really needed a dogsitter last week and she doesn't speak English so all the biblethumping wouldn't have bothered her any. [/NEWSNARK]

Having met some young white male Christian virgins, they can't possibly cost any more than a week of boarding did.

The amazing thing is that he could write in all seriousness that white, male Christians are treated like women 200 years ago and STILL come off as more intelligent than Ken.

[JaChelle Sugar]

Cabinetman: more educated than ken bit no less of a moron.

Thanks for the excellent recaps!

[usmcmom]

Wow I step away after ken flounced and look what happened! Quick recap pretty please?

I'd like to try too, please.

After Ken realized he couldn't control things over here he said "THIS IS A JOB FOR CABINET MAN!"

In swoops Cabinet Man. "Blah, blah, blah....DOCTORS TOLD ME TO DO THAT TO MY WIFE!! blah, blah, blah.... PROMISE YOU'LL LEAVE ME ALONE! Blah, blah, blah....GOVERNMENT IS EVIL!" Then he limped away with his cape between his legs.

I was both amused and frightened.

[OkToBeTakei]

96%

That is all.

[Tesseract]

Also, wimminz do not need education, it isn't godly. :roll:

[geeklove]

Wow I step away after ken flounced and look what happened! Quick recap pretty please?

TL;DR For strong Christ Jesus approved manly men, CM and Ken can't handle a little heat. Or evil feminists. Or descension. Or logic. Or the internet.( It would probably be easier to list what they can handle.)

[polecat]

7 percent -- closetman swoops in to take over the Kensplaining

5 percent -- FJers collectively sigh and roll eyes

22 percent -- closetman explains doctor made him do it

18 percent -- groans and raised eyebrows

25 percent -- closetman has mini-meltdown over gubment spies

15 percent -- scoffs and chuckles

8 percent -- FLOUNCE

More or less.

[polecat]

TL;DR For strong Christ Jesus approved manly men, CM and Ken can't handle a little heat. Or evil feminists. Or descension. Or logic. Or the internet.( It would probably be easier to list what they can handle.)

Basketball and chocolate chip cookies. And maybe power tools Not necessarily in that order.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Also, it's okay for us ebil feminist wimmenz to care for our sick hubands when they need it because we love them, but it's bad to help his daughter educate herself to do the same if ever it's necessary Because Bible. Additionally, because wimmenz have good spirituality and love their families, everyone thinks they are superior to men and this threatens the idea of Godly penis-wielding manliness. Or something.

And Cabinet Man went through about a dozen name changes.

[Hane]

And Cabinet Man went through about a dozen name changes.

The best of which, IMHO, was Chiffonier Lad. Kudos to whichever of us came up with that one!

[Three and Done]

It looks a little fuzzy here for some reason but it's fine on Tinypic itself.

Google goggles and a wizard hat!

Perfect!

[usmcmom]

:dance: :dance: It's me! I am the troll. Ken wouldn't answer me here, so I thought I'd sneak in over there. My husband doesn't give a flying fig what I do on the internet but Helen from U.K. wants me to convince him to let me stay at Lori's blog.

And now my comment will disappear in 5...4...3...

Well, shucks!! While I was on a romantic weekend getaway with my husband, Ken was at home cleaning up the ol' blog. My comment is gone. All that hard work and creative writing and....pfttt. Looks like he had to scrub about 7 comments to eliminate all traces of poor little "Guest."

[Curious]

Well, shucks!! While I was on a romantic weekend getaway with my husband, Ken was at home cleaning up the ol' blog. My comment is gone. All that hard work and creative writing and....pfttt. Looks like he had to scrub about 7 comments to eliminate all traces of poor little "Guest."

Just can't quit us, can you Ken?

[docmom]

Also, wimminz do not need education, it isn't godly. :roll:

Well, yeah. I mean we've seen the result of having educated wimminz debating with the godly menz. It wasn't pretty.

[polecat]

Just can't quit us, can you Ken?

One can hardly blame him. Can you imagine how mind-numbingly boring it must be to live with someone who is always outwardly in complete concert with your every flatulent emission? How soul-crushing it would be to live with someone who is seething with hate and rage under the surface but is never, EVER willing to let it out in the open out of fear of losing the submissively manipulative edge in the relationship? How utterly refreshing it must have been to engage with women who were not only intelligent (unlike the rageful, hateful housemate) but could even hold their own with you? How freeing it must have been to have an actual disagreement without any passive-aggressive undertones and submissive veneer?

As much as I am revolted by his beliefs, I can't help but feel sorry for him. Those two seem to have an utterly miserable existence that is wasted in nothing but power plays, passive-aggressive jabs and a constant undercurrent of disrespect and disgust.