Anna Duggar - Merge

[LongDogMom]

Since preparing the girls (beyond Jana) to be housewives and all things domestic has not really worked out that we can tell, I am surprised that the girls were not given real training (meaning from beginning to end) in some area where they could actually earn a living. JB seems all about the buck, yet his kids beyond JD aren't trained to do anything.

What kills me is that they aren't even very well trained to be housewives! It's not like they are really good cooks or take pride in being frugal and saving money by growing their own veggies and canning or whatever. They use lots of ready-made salads and things, meals from what I've seen are not particularly nutritious and they won't care about the environment and/or recycling (or money wasted) using disposable plates.

Listen, people may snark on homemakers, but It's a lot of work to be a really good homemaker and do it well in that your work saves your family money and things are well organized. Good wives and moms who take homemaking seriously as their job/career try to learn to be good cooks and worry about trying to cook meals that are healthy and nutritious for their famiy, etc. I used to know one lady who had a garden that she relied on to supplement her meals and save money for other things. The Duggars are kind of crappy homemakers despite supposedly being "trained" to be stay at home wives/moms! Just kind of weird that not only were they not encouraged to have any careers that required higher education, they didn't really get trained in much of anything except the Bible ...or at least that's how it appears on the show!

[SassyPants]

What kills me is that they aren't even very well trained to be housewives! It's not like they are really good cooks or take pride in being frugal and saving money by growing their own veggies and canning or whatever. They use lots of ready-made salads and things, meals from what I've seen are not particularly nutritious and they won't care about the environment and/or recycling (or money wasted) using disposable plates.

Listen, people may snark on homemakers, but It's a lot of work to be a really good homemaker and do it well in that your work saves your family money and things are well organized. Good wives and moms who take homemaking seriously as their job/career try to learn to be good cooks and worry about trying to cook meals that are healthy and nutritious for their famiy, etc. I used to know one lady who had a garden that she relied on to supplement her meals and save money for other things. The Duggars are kind of crappy homemakers despite supposedly being "trained" to be stay at home wives/moms! Just kind of weird that not only were they not encouraged to have any careers that required higher education, they didn't really get trained in much of anything except the Bible ...or at least that's how it appears on the show!

I do not think the girls are good homemakers because Michelle was never a good role model or teacher in home making. OMG, when Jessa told Gm that she never measures anything when baking, such a lack of knowledge and arrogance.

The way they cook and what they eat pains me-

I make my dog's food from scratch.

Now wiping butts and snotty noses is probably something those girls have down pat.

[FloraKitty35]

What kills me is that they aren't even very well trained to be housewives! It's not like they are really good cooks or take pride in being frugal and saving money by growing their own veggies and canning or whatever. They use lots of ready-made salads and things, meals from what I've seen are not particularly nutritious and they won't care about the environment and/or recycling (or money wasted) using disposable plates.

Listen, people may snark on homemakers, but It's a lot of work to be a really good homemaker and do it well in that your work saves your family money and things are well organized. Good wives and moms who take homemaking seriously as their job/career try to learn to be good cooks and worry about trying to cook meals that are healthy and nutritious for their family, etc. I used to know one lady who had a garden that she relied on to supplement her meals and save money for other things. The Duggars are kind of crappy homemakers despite supposedly being "trained" to be stay at home wives/moms! Just kind of weird that not only were they not encouraged to have any careers that required higher education, they didn't really get trained in much of anything except the Bible ...or at least that's how it appears on the show!

I find it laughable that these godly women who are supposed to be such great homemakers.

[acheronbeach]

What kills me is that they aren't even very well trained to be housewives! It's not like they are really good cooks or take pride in being frugal and saving money by growing their own veggies and canning or whatever. They use lots of ready-made salads and things, meals from what I've seen are not particularly nutritious and they won't care about the environment and/or recycling (or money wasted) using disposable plates.

Listen, people may snark on homemakers, but It's a lot of work to be a really good homemaker and do it well in that your work saves your family money and things are well organized. Good wives and moms who take homemaking seriously as their job/career try to learn to be good cooks and worry about trying to cook meals that are healthy and nutritious for their famiy, etc. I used to know one lady who had a garden that she relied on to supplement her meals and save money for other things. The Duggars are kind of crappy homemakers despite supposedly being "trained" to be stay at home wives/moms! Just kind of weird that not only were they not encouraged to have any careers that required higher education, they didn't really get trained in much of anything except the Bible ...or at least that's how it appears on the show!

My brother is a stay at home dad. He never trained to be a SAHD, never expected to be one, has an IT diploma and didn't own a house 'til he was 35... but he organizes his time and his money 10x better than the Duggar girls ever have. He cooks better than them and tutors his kids 10x better than them (though admittedly, he doesn't clean too well).

It doesn't speak well to their homemaking education.

[SassyPants]

IMO, the Duggar's motto about everything is taking the easy way.

Everything they do is centered on taking shortcuts and waiting until the last minute...slap something together and away you go.

Yes, Michelle had 19 children and many pregnancies- but she derived attention and a high from those confinements....just like with toting around a NB on my brest friend for 6 mos. At 6 mos, when the nb started needing more actual attention and stimulation, the girls were responsible....and off to achieve another feel good pregnancy.

Other than that, it appears their home was on auto-pilot. Get behind on the laundry, a laundry angel appears. Who was doing the grocery shopping and errands when JB was actually working? In 1999, Jana was 9 and there were 11 children in total. Did Jana and Jill stay home with the little ones and Josh and JD go shopping with Michelle? Would you leave a 9yo in charge of 9 little kids? Is that even legal? How did Michelle homeschool the older kids with all those babies and toddlers underfoot? Did she really?

[2manyKidzzz]

What kills me is that they aren't even very well trained to be housewives! It's not like they are really good cooks or take pride in being frugal and saving money by growing their own veggies and canning or whatever. They use lots of ready-made salads and things, meals from what I've seen are not particularly nutritious and they won't care about the environment and/or recycling (or money wasted) using disposable plates.

Listen, people may snark on homemakers, but It's a lot of work to be a really good homemaker and do it well in that your work saves your family money and things are well organized. Good wives and moms who take homemaking seriously as their job/career try to learn to be good cooks and worry about trying to cook meals that are healthy and nutritious for their famiy, etc. I used to know one lady who had a garden that she relied on to supplement her meals and save money for other things. The Duggars are kind of crappy homemakers despite supposedly being "trained" to be stay at home wives/moms! Just kind of weird that not only were they not encouraged to have any careers that required higher education, they didn't really get trained in much of anything except the Bible ...or at least that's how it appears on the show!

Cooking is a real skill. I grew up the oldest of 8 and never cooked anything but eggs, oatmeal and friied bologna. But I could change diapers and watch kids. I always hated cooking and since my kids are grown I cook.....nothing. Food bar at WEgmans and my husband grills out in desperation. If they want those girls at home, they should be taught the skill of cooking and home management. Those are valuable skills and can help the home environment and the budget.

[SassyPants]

I wonder how involved GM was in the kids' lives? I do not think Michelle ever learned to cook. The girls would have needed someone else to teach them. I am sure lack of time was an issue too.

I also think that maybe had I not grown up around wonderful cooks, I would have never developed the love for cooking and unfortunately, eating. :D

[Clementine]

What kills me is that they aren't even very well trained to be housewives! It's not like they are really good cooks or take pride in being frugal and saving money by growing their own veggies and canning or whatever. They use lots of ready-made salads and things, meals from what I've seen are not particularly nutritious and they won't care about the environment and/or recycling (or money wasted) using disposable plates.

Listen, people may snark on homemakers, but It's a lot of work to be a really good homemaker and do it well in that your work saves your family money and things are well organized. Good wives and moms who take homemaking seriously as their job/career try to learn to be good cooks and worry about trying to cook meals that are healthy and nutritious for their famiy, etc. I used to know one lady who had a garden that she relied on to supplement her meals and save money for other things. The Duggars are kind of crappy homemakers despite supposedly being "trained" to be stay at home wives/moms! Just kind of weird that not only were they not encouraged to have any careers that required higher education, they didn't really get trained in much of anything except the Bible ...or at least that's how it appears on the show!

So true! I would expect them to be as good and thrifty homemakers as the women who had families during the depression. They really knew how to feed a family on a shoestring and have a well kept house.

Considering that homemaking is the only career the Duggar girls prepare for, I would expect more from them.

[jqlgoblue]

I wonder how involved GM was in the kids' lives? I do not think Michelle ever learned to cook. The girls would have needed someone else to teach them. I am sure lack of time was an issue too.

I also think that maybe had I not grown up around wonderful cooks, I would have never developed the love for cooking and unfortunately, eating. :D

At some point they must have gotten some basic recipes from church, which makes sense given the recipe thread. I can see Jana & Jill not having much guidance finding the ones they can manage (mostly pre-packaged processed ingredients) and then making it work.

I also think it's hard to be a 'good' homemaker with that many kids. Even if Michelle had been teaching the J'slaves, its basically too many people to really spend the time to do it well. Each J'slave was basically a 'single parent' to 3-4 younger kids. Plus, they prioritize their ATI homeschool and bible study pretty highly, that also takes a lot of time away from housekeeping when it's the J'slaves who are in charge of running both.

[SassyPants]

At some point they must have gotten some basic recipes from church, which makes sense given the recipe thread. I can see Jana & Jill not having much guidance finding the ones they can manage (mostly pre-packaged processed ingredients) and then making it work.

I also think it's hard to be a 'good' homemaker with that many kids. Even if Michelle had been teaching the J'slaves, its basically too many people to really spend the time to do it well. Each J'slave was basically a 'single parent' to 3-4 younger kids. Plus, they prioritize their ATI homeschool and bible study pretty highly, that also takes a lot of time away from housekeeping when it's the J'slaves who are in charge of running both.

Well, from the looks of things, Bible most have trumped all as they do not presented as overly educated either.

[ShadowyOne]

I don't think I've ever heard Marcus babble or even grunt.

To Karen's post: this is so reassuring to hear! My 21 month old doesn't talk much, either, but burbles so much that I call her R2-D2. I've had her assessed, and she appears to be cognitively fine, but I still get that mommy-worry about it. I figure it's just more convenient for her to sign (she knows a couple dozen words in sign language)

To Jennifer's post: That may just be his personality, too. My daughter doesn't do the R2-D2 thing much in public, or even in groups of people that she sees often (church, regular playmates, etc.). We went to a birthday party at our next-door neighbor's house on Sunday, and she barely made a peep. I wouldn't even characterize her as shy, so I can't even tell you what's behind it; it's just her personality.

[apandaaries]

So true! I would expect them to be as good and thrifty homemakers as the women who had families during the depression. They really knew how to feed a family on a shoestring and have a well kept house.

Considering that homemaking is the only career the Duggar girls prepare for, I would expect more from them.

Their lack of skills is so incredible to me. My personal frame of reference for large families is my great grandmother, who came over to the States from Sweden, met another Swedish immigrant, and had 8 kids. One died of whooping cough as a baby, but the other 7 were raised up with lots of chores and mischief. They had a cow in the backyard for milk and butter (back when it had to be churned!). They had fruit trees and a garden. My mom learned to love figs and artichokes and tons of other foods grown in the backyard (my mom jokes that her grandma had a Mediterranean stomach). They baked fresh bread daily (and hungry kids would come by, work a little hole in one end, and start scooping nibbles out before dinner). The oldest girls were overworked (large family problems -- oldest kids always get too many responsibilities and they had girls first), but ALL seven surviving children went to school and then college -- during and after the Depression (all the girls graduated; the boys results were mixed). They lived in an urban area and fed the "hobos" who came to the door asking for food -- they weren't allowed in the house, but the kids were supposed to fix a plate of food for whatever hungry person came by, because that was the Christian thing to do (those are the words of my grandmother there, some slightly dated). And all of this happened while my great grandmother worked full time outside the home at a school, because my great grandfather had gone blind (welding back then was even more dangerous).

And the Duggars eat canned food off paper plates while "homeschooling" and doing their hair. Their Christian activities include "ministering" to people via the television and supporting ad promoting a cult. I know that 19 is a bigger number than 8 (or 7), but damn. They have failed their kids.

[ShadowyOne]

I'm on the fence about how much, if anything, they knew about what was going to be revealed. I watched that final Q&A episode again. Most of the kids looking like zombies. Anna's little breakdown that she blamed on being pregnant. Josh looking like a total slob in pants that were 6 inches too short for him. Derick's dental surgery. The look on Jana's face over the effing bikini story being told again. Michelle making it abundantly clear that women are always responsible for men's sexual failings.

But the kids weren't with the usual crew, so maybe they were a little shyer than normal and Josh seemed his usual obnoxious self so maybe I'm just reading things into it.

I do think Josh may have always known that things were too good to be true for him. He was always an uneducated fraud so I can't imagine he fit in with the people he worked and hobnobbed with in DC. And he had to have been aware that with so many people out there knowing what he did, just one person coming forward could bring everything down for him in an instant. That's a lot of pressure to live with.

Can someone remind me of the time delay between the filming of the finale and the news breaking? I'm recalling someone saying about 2 or 3 weeks, but can't remember where in the labyrinth of threads that I got that impression.

[apandaaries]

To Karen's post: this is so reassuring to hear! My 21 month old doesn't talk much, either, but burbles so much that I call her R2-D2. I've had her assessed, and she appears to be cognitively fine, but I still get that mommy-worry about it. I figure it's just more convenient for her to sign (she knows a couple dozen words in sign language)

To Jennifer's post: That may just be his personality, too. My daughter doesn't do the R2-D2 thing much in public, or even in groups of people that she sees often (church, regular playmates, etc.). We went to a birthday party at our next-door neighbor's house on Sunday, and she barely made a peep. I wouldn't even characterize her as shy, so I can't even tell you what's behind it; it's just her personality.

Language development can really vary. Moms are usually the best source of information about their kids, though. If you're ever concerned, you can always talk to the pediatrician and get advice from there. Early interventions can do a world of good and it's free through the public school system -- not saying there's anything wrong with these kids I don't know, but if your gut has you concerned, talk to someone.

I'm not too concerned about Marcus because the M'kids only get a small amount of screen time anyway. We hardly see him, let alone get time for him to talk. Mac has the girls, though, so she has her little clique for cute moments of communication to capture.

[MarcyMM]

I was a third (and last) child. My mom told me it took me a long time to talk (but then when I did I wouldn't shut up!). I've heard people say it's not uncommon for kids in that situation to take a longer time to talk because there is always someone around to do their talking for them.

[alba]

So true! I would expect them to be as good and thrifty homemakers as the women who had families during the depression. They really knew how to feed a family on a shoestring and have a well kept house.

Considering that homemaking is the only career the Duggar girls prepare for, I would expect more from them.

I think a big part of this comes down to Michelle's laziness. Not only did she not bother teaching her daughters these things, but she handed off her babies to them at 6 months, so they were so tired that even if they knew better they couldn't do better. Let's say you're 15-year-old Jill, for instance. Your buddy team consists of 7-year-old Joy, 4-year-old James, and baby Jennifer. Even an extraordinarily industrious 15-year-old is going to struggle to summon the motivation to cook a meal from scratch for 19 people after looking after three children for the day.

[bunnybunz]

I think a big part of this comes down to Michelle's laziness. Not only did she not bother teaching her daughters these things, but she handed off her babies to them at 6 months, so they were so tired that even if they knew better they couldn't do better. Let's say you're 15-year-old Jill, for instance. Your buddy team consists of 7-year-old Joy, 4-year-old James, and baby Jennifer. Even an extraordinarily industrious 15-year-old is going to struggle to summon the motivation to cook a meal from scratch for 19 people after looking after three children for the day.

I get so stabby when I think about those girls being forced to raise their siblings. It's like they have to suffer the same consequences as the girls on Teen Mom through no fault of their own.

[NeverAFundie]

Can someone remind me of the time delay between the filming of the finale and the news breaking? I'm recalling someone saying about 2 or 3 weeks, but can't remember where in the labyrinth of threads that I got that impression.

Well, Baby Israel was born on April 6. During Jill's segment in the Q&A show, they mentioned that he was 4 weeks old that day, which would put the filming on May 4. The news broke via In Touch on May 19, and the police reports were published on May 21.

[JenniferJuniper]

Well, Baby Israel was born on April 6. During Jill's segment in the Q&A show, they mentioned that he was 4 weeks old that day, which would put the filming on May 4. The news broke via In Touch on May 19, and the police reports were published on May 21.

Well spotted. I think the time frames make it less likely they knew anything was going to happen.

[gemma]

I think a big part of this comes down to Michelle's laziness. Not only did she not bother teaching her daughters these things, but she handed off her babies to them at 6 months, so they were so tired that even if they knew better they couldn't do better. Let's say you're 15-year-old Jill, for instance. Your buddy team consists of 7-year-old Joy, 4-year-old James, and baby Jennifer. Even an extraordinarily industrious 15-year-old is going to struggle to summon the motivation to cook a meal from scratch for 19 people after looking after three children for the day.

Speaking of Michelle handing over her kids at 6 months, I remember her describing the buddy system once saying that the newborn baby is her little buddy until he or she is weaned. How the heck is your baby a "little buddy"? There is something repulsive about that.

[MaroonMandy]

Well spotted. I think the time frames make it less likely they knew anything was going to happen.

I agree. I don't think they knew it was coming. Like others, I think they may have gotten a 24-48 head's up when either a reporter called for quote or a friendly city employee knew about the records being released and told them.

If they had known, I think JB would have been in Good PR Hyperdrive. A cute Josiah and Margie update, a courtship for an older girl, tears over Jubilee, etc. He would have pulled out all the stops to make sure everyone remembered how special and loved the Duggars are.

[gemma]

To Karen's post: this is so reassuring to hear! My 21 month old doesn't talk much, either, but burbles so much that I call her R2-D2. I've had her assessed, and she appears to be cognitively fine, but I still get that mommy-worry about it. I figure it's just more convenient for her to sign (she knows a couple dozen words in sign language)

To Jennifer's post: That may just be his personality, too. My daughter doesn't do the R2-D2 thing much in public, or even in groups of people that she sees often (church, regular playmates, etc.). We went to a birthday party at our next-door neighbor's house on Sunday, and she barely made a peep. I wouldn't even characterize her as shy, so I can't even tell you what's behind it; it's just her personality.

My son didn't utter a word until about the age of 3 years 2 months. Even at that he acquired words very very very slowly. We go him help, which did very little. I remember praying (and even writing in my blog) that he would learn to speak someday. I laugh even typing this now because, by about the age of five, he was an absolute motor-mouth. He still talks A LOT, but is learning to trim some of the excess, so that he has become a good conversationalist. He's 100% fine cognitively.

[alba]

Speaking of Michelle handing over her kids at 6 months, I remember her describing the buddy system once saying that the newborn baby is her little buddy until he or she is weaned. How the heck is your baby a "little buddy"? There is something repulsive about that.

Even worse: Michelle is Jim Bob's "buddy" :disgust:

[eviek]

This interview you're all referencing, is it 'Digging In With The Duggars'?

[NeverAFundie]

This interview you're all referencing, is it 'Digging In With The Duggars'?

Yep, that's what I'm referring to.

Count me in the camp of those who think they had MAYBE 24-48 hours notice. I recall in one of Tori Spelling's interviews, her publicist called her to tell her of the breaking news of her husband's affair a day or two before the story went public. I think that's the best case scenario here. Unless In Touch contact the Duggars, TLC, or someone's publicist for a comment in advance of the story, they may not have had any notice at all.