When fundies self diagnose / Narcissism thy name is Lori

[Loveday]

According to instagram, Emily is reading Harry Potter.

And Lori posted this before

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2011/11/harry-potter-and-witchcraft.html?m=1

As a massive Harry Potter fan, all I got is: :cracking-up: :clap:

[NotALoserLikeYou]

It's the sixth in the series, too!

I'm surprised Emily hasn't turned to witchcraft yet, since reading them corrupts the mind.

[lilwriter85]

From the Harry Potter posting

I am sure there are godly children out there who have seen Harry Potter movies and are not involved in witchcraft. I just didn't feel comfortable with them, especially as society around us gets darker and darker. I want my light to shine brightly...NOT by judging others in issues that are not clearly spelled out in Scripture, however, but living MY life pleasing to Him.

Since Emily is already reading Harry Potter and Lori views society as getting darker and darker. Maybe Emily also tunes into True Blood, American Horror Story, and Salem.

[Burris]

From the Harry Potter posting

Since Emily is already reading Harry Potter and Lori views society as getting darker and darker. Maybe Emily also tunes into True Blood, American Horror Story, and Salem.

If one lives in a society where she can openly believe, and teach her children, whatever she chooses, she lives in the most direct social sunlight this world has to offer.

If you want a good society, put your hand in and use it for good.

If you don't, Lori, you'll get - for real - the kind of society you fear; the kind you you deserve.

[polecat]

From the Harry Potter posting

Since Emily is already reading Harry Potter and Lori views society as getting darker and darker. Maybe Emily also tunes into True Blood, American Horror Story, and Salem.

My youngest kid love love loves HP. And he has a real magic wand.

Alas, he cannot perform spells. (Although we all go totally still when he screams "Petrificus!" at us and he gets a giggle out of it).

[crawfishgirl]

From the Harry Potter posting

Since Emily is already reading Harry Potter and Lori views society as getting darker and darker. Maybe Emily also tunes into True Blood, American Horror Story, and Salem.

Those are three of my favorite shows! I enjoy the offbeat shows - they are much more fun and interesting. When True Blood first appeared on tv, I bought all of the books. I enjoyed them so much that I have been mainly reading the urban fantasy genre ever since (such as Kim Harrison books, etc). Lori may not approve of witchcraft, but most of them have a 'good triumphs evil' theme to them, though she wouldn't approve of the process.

Regarding her post on living poor and being happy - it amazes me how the fundies like to fall over themselves proving how pious and holy they are in their poverty. So ridiculous. Especially since Lori has mentioned her poverty/piousness in terms of having to drive an older Mercedes with high mileage. Poor dear.

[FundieFarmer]

My youngest kid love love loves HP. And he has a real magic wand.

Alas, he cannot perform spells. (Although we all go totally still when he screams "Petrificus!" at us and he gets a giggle out of it).

Adopt me?!

JK.

But your home environment is a lot better than Lori's, or mine growing up. I remember saving all of my money to buy HP books when I was younger, and my mom just threw them away with no warning. It was harmful to our relationship because it was as if she didn't respect the effort I'd put into saving that money, and that she didn't care what I liked because religion. I feel where Lori's kids are coming from because in a lot of ways, my mom is similar. When I got out from under her thumb (relatively, much like Lori's kids) it became a free-for-all.

Props to you for encouraging your child in what he loves.

[Firiel]

Lori is being super-bitch in the chat group today.

She's asking what the women would do if their preteen daughter started eating a lot and gaining weight.

For some reason, this is pissing me off more than usual. :pull-hair: :angry-banghead: :pull-hair: :angry-banghead: :pull-hair:

[2xx1xy1JD]

Lori is being super-bitch in the chat group today.

She's asking what the women would do if their preteen daughter started eating a lot and gaining weight.

For some reason, this is pissing me off more than usual. :pull-hair: :angry-banghead: :pull-hair: :angry-banghead: :pull-hair:

Glad I'm not part of that group.

My answer would NOT be "constantly remind her that gluttony is a sin, and that she needs to control her appetite if hopes to be a good wife and mother with a husband that doesn't stray".

When Girl 2 did go through a phase of eating a lot, growing rapidly and gaining weight, we spoke to her ped. When he turned out to be useless with this issue, we got a referral to a pediatric endocrinologist. It turns out that she has a mild form of a genetic condition affecting her hormones. Her appetite decreased once the explosive growth stopped, and she's quite petite now. Fortunately, because we were vigilant against any attempts to shame her, she seems to have come through the precocious puberty without any major body issues.

[GeoBQn]

Let me guess, she is baiting the women so they will provide one answer, then berating them when they provide this answer that she has deemed "wrong."

Also, I thought it was typical for preteen girls to go through a period of weight gain before entering puberty. I gained about 30 lbs the year before I started my period, and I never came close to being overweight for my size.

[Koala]

Why I'll do just what you did Godly Mentor Lori. I'll remind them that men only like thin women and make it my life's goal to see them develop eating and body disorders. Or not, so fuck that. :x

[lilwriter85]

Those are three of my favorite shows! I enjoy the offbeat shows - they are much more fun and interesting. When True Blood first appeared on tv, I bought all of the books. I enjoyed them so much that I have been mainly reading the urban fantasy genre ever since (such as Kim Harrison books, etc). Lori may not approve of witchcraft, but most of them have a 'good triumphs evil' theme to them, though she wouldn't approve of the process.

Regarding her post on living poor and being happy - it amazes me how the fundies like to fall over themselves proving how pious and holy they are in their poverty. So ridiculous. Especially since Lori has mentioned her poverty/piousness in terms of having to drive an older Mercedes with high mileage. Poor dear.

I also enjoy offbeat shows. I like that horror, supernatural, or witchcraft related shows are a break from TV shows about cops, doctors, and lawyers. I bought that 8 book set of True Blood books, but I admit I didn't read them all. Another show that I liked was The Witches of East End, which was based on a book series. That show was kind of bad at times, I liked it. Maybe Lori's daughter in law would read that book series. There are plenty of book series that have fantasy or supernatural elements that are popular with teenagers and women. I hope the day comes when Lori and Ken fly off to upstate New York to visit Emily and Steven and Lori ends up seeing what is in Emily's personal library.

Yeah Lori and Ken haven't lived in severe poverty. I know she has blogged a few times about the period when they lived in a trailer park, but IIRC, didn't her parents help them during that time.

[polecat]

I can see why Lori hates the public school system so much given the fact that she probably thinks all teachers are as ignorant as she is.

From today's gem:

When the men would not stop pounding on Lot's door came close to breaking the door down, the angels struck the men with blindness, yet the men still "wearied themselves to find the door." These were disgusting men! Lot had gone to his daughter's sons-in-law to warn them of the coming destruction but they thought he was only joking. There was NO fear of the Lord in this city.

:lol:

[lilwriter85]

On the topic of in-laws, I think Lori probably gets along well with her son-in-law Jon. Jon's father is a minister and Lori has blogged about how Jon's mother is servant. She mentioned the same about her daughter-in-law Erin's parents.

[Coco]

Sorry to necro this from a couple days ago, but it means a lot to me:

Does it seem like there is some race to the bottom going on with some of these people? Look at me! 6 kids and no plumbing and we all sleep on the floor! Look at me! 11 Kids in an RV and they all sleep on the floor or in a tent! Look at us, building a hut in the middle of nowhere and marrying off our teen daughter to a man old enough to be her father. How holy we all must be. How happy! How rich! Fie on you people who have nicer things, we are happier, holier and have richer lives.... HA!

Ever since I read the Papa Pilgrim book a couple of days ago, I am now giving the side eye to every primitive patriarch we read about. :?

"Race to the Bottom"

perfect description of some fundies.

Thank you, Salex, for that description. Finally making it possible for me to read these fundie's opinions without seeing red. Now i can mentally tell myself it's all blow-hard reverse bragging. And Nancy Campbell promotes that as the closest path to godliness, the liar. I was raised to believe she had it right and it still gives me guilt trips. I have to go against my programming because i don't want my kids to live in poverty. Just like Jill R's stupid definition of brain washing, they think they have the path to pleasing God and it's called Misery in the Present for All!

How about Nancy asks Evangeline's kids sometime if they're happy they had to sleep like a pack of dogs on the floor, or that their mother probably has physical problems and early onset aging from unnecessary backbreaking manual labor. Maybe lung damage for all because of the horrible wood furnace? Or if they're mad at their dad for somehow failing to provide for them as well as other dads. Oh wait they sleep on the floor and do things as a chaotic mass one-size-fits-all because their mom has to afford to buy spendy ingredients and cook in a weird way to stay thin for their dad? They probably are doing better now because their mom is working selling her diet plan. :lol: Good for them, but yet the Campbell family still spews lies and misinformation and risky health practices like go ahead and get pregnant with everyone saying it could be fatal, unattended by professionals deliveries, vbacs etc. and tell people they can be OH SO HAPPY poor as church mice living on "love". A fundie friend of mine has a lot of kids who pretty much are a pack of pups, sorry but it's true.... My heart kind of breaks for her thinking she's required by God to keep on having kids for which she doesn't really have the time or resources to raise well. Her kids sleep dirty in their beds from the day, running around in the dirt and brambles barefoot, she just doesn't have enough time to get to everything, their diet is terrible and their belongings are so gross, and she acts like having all the chaos is somehow cute and godly... Yet she somehow manages to find enough in their strapped budget to buy herself expensive supplements. Makes me so ragey. Now who's selfish? How is it godly to spend over $80/month on something for herself that just gets flushed right down the tube instead of fresh fruits and veggies and greens - well-rounded meals? Because it's cool to pop down quack pills of the it brand and brag about it to the other quiverfull moms? These women pat each other on the back and feel so much better than other people while their lives are absolute reeking disasters.

I don't want to be called selfish or a failure because i have clean kids who have a lot of opportunities, cute (secondhand) clothes, toys, time to do educational activities... and on and on. My kids aren't stuck with a pack of siblings, acting out stories with rocks in the dirt, what adventures, eh? How about this they have access to real friendships, actual new reading material and the latest educational tools, but oh that's not necessary for the truly holy, who needs to gain an education and work when you can wear camo 24/7 and eat something your hubby killed by throwing a rock? :lol:

The resources that would have gone into raising my own dirty ignorant pack of pups that they say i'd have to have to be "holy" go into raising two well-rounded kids. Plus i'm honest about my limits. I just hate being called selfish for not being a slave to their fertility god. Besides how is it helping the world when every bit of effort goes into my own self-made chaos, and doing things as backwards and primitively as possible, how selfish is that?

sorry for the rant, guess their neglect and ignorance that they label as judgmental "holiness" still makes me angry. :angry-banghead:

[FundieFarmer]

Let me guess, she is baiting the women so they will provide one answer, then berating them when they provide this answer that she has deemed "wrong."

Also, I thought it was typical for preteen girls to go through a period of weight gain before entering puberty. I gained about 30 lbs the year before I started my period, and I never came close to being overweight for my size.

There's been a lot of that lately.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Sorry to necro this from a couple days ago, but it means a lot to me:

"Race to the Bottom"

perfect description of some fundies.

Thank you, Salex, for that description. Finally making it possible for me to read these fundie's opinions without seeing red. Now i can mentally tell myself it's all blow-hard reverse bragging. And Nancy Campbell promotes that as the closest path to godliness, the liar. I was raised to believe she had it right and it still gives me guilt trips. I have to go against my programming because i don't want my kids to live in poverty. Just like Jill R's stupid definition of brain washing, they think they have the path to pleasing God and it's called Misery in the Present for All!

How about Nancy asks Evangeline's kids sometime if they're happy they had to sleep like a pack of dogs on the floor, or that their mother probably has physical problems and early onset aging from unnecessary backbreaking manual labor. Maybe lung damage for all because of the horrible wood furnace? Or if they're mad at their dad for somehow failing to provide for them as well as other dads. Oh wait they sleep on the floor and do things as a chaotic mass one-size-fits-all because their mom has to afford to buy spendy ingredients and cook in a weird way to stay thin for their dad? They probably are doing better now because their mom is working selling her diet plan. :lol: Good for them, but yet the Campbell family still spews lies and misinformation and risky health practices like go ahead and get pregnant with everyone saying it could be fatal, unattended by professionals deliveries, vbacs etc. and tell people they can be OH SO HAPPY poor as church mice living on "love". A fundie friend of mine has a lot of kids who pretty much are a pack of pups, sorry but it's true.... My heart kind of breaks for her thinking she's required by God to keep on having kids for which she doesn't really have the time or resources to raise well. Her kids sleep dirty in their beds from the day, running around in the dirt and brambles barefoot, she just doesn't have enough time to get to everything, their diet is terrible and their belongings are so gross, and she acts like having all the chaos is somehow cute and godly... Yet she somehow manages to find enough in their strapped budget to buy herself expensive supplements. Makes me so ragey. Now who's selfish? How is it godly to spend over $80/month on something for herself that just gets flushed right down the tube instead of fresh fruits and veggies and greens - well-rounded meals? Because it's cool to pop down quack pills of the it brand and brag about it to the other quiverfull moms? These women pat each other on the back and feel so much better than other people while their lives are absolute reeking disasters.

I don't want to be called selfish or a failure because i have clean kids who have a lot of opportunities, cute (secondhand) clothes, toys, time to do educational activities... and on and on. My kids aren't stuck with a pack of siblings, acting out stories with rocks in the dirt, what adventures, eh? How about this they have access to real friendships, actual new reading material and the latest educational tools, but oh that's not necessary for the truly holy, who needs to gain an education and work when you can wear camo 24/7 and eat something your hubby killed by throwing a rock? :lol:

The resources that would have gone into raising my own dirty ignorant pack of pups that they say i'd have to have to be "holy" go into raising two well-rounded kids. Plus i'm honest about my limits. I just hate being called selfish for not being a slave to their fertility god. Besides how is it helping the world when every bit of effort goes into my own self-made chaos, and doing things as backwards and primitively as possible, how selfish is that?

sorry for the rant, guess their neglect and ignorance that they label as judgmental "holiness" still makes me angry. :angry-banghead:

No apologies needed. I happen to agree that this is a really important point. It's not just religious fundies who do this either - I've seen versions of it in various parenting groups too.

Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean that you SHOULD do it.

Sure, I could raise my kids on nothing but rice and beans, or never ever leave them with anyone else, or never use a stroller, or endure 50 hours of back labor while begging for death in order to have a drug-free birth. I've read accounts from people who have done all of these things. They question is, WHY would I want to do that? What's the benefit, and does it outweigh the drawbacks? How am I measuring the outcome?

So, yes, I suppose I could have found an alternative to daycare with Girl 1. I could have looked for an apartment that was a little closer to the crack houses, with less security and more cockroaches. I could have eliminated fresh fruits and veggies from our diet, and made sure that we never ate out ever. I could have done more work from home. Maybe I could have worn her in a sling while scrubbing toilets for other people (yes, that's a real suggestion from Dr. Sears: www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concer ... /work-wear).

But why would I have done this?

After spending too long listening to Dr. Laura and reading parenting debates on Babycenter, I finally realized something. The ultimate goal wasn't to exclusively breastfeed/avoid every using a stroller/avoid daycare/have a zillion kids. It was to focus on what was good for my own family, and ensure that we were raising kids who were happy, healthy and moral. That was all that mattered. Nobody else's opinion or yardsticks counted. Do my kids benefit more from their school than they would from being homeschooled? As a family, do we benefit from having me fully healthy and functional instead of having another baby?

[Coco]

After cooling down :lol: and giving it more thought...

These militantly fertile fundies are, at their core, afraid to be a minority. Their harsh judgements of anyone different from themselves causes them to be afraid to be outnumbered. They don't want to be treated the way that they treat others - they are afraid to be out of power. That's got to be why they elevate poverty and pretend it's godly to have huge herds of kids that put families into poverty.

I think Jesus would have focused on equality and fairness, he didn't care about just increasing his numbers of ignorant and bigoted followers. He was about relationships, not numbers. Converting the heart of anyone from any background, not having the right color of followers. The real path to peace is respect, not creating a physical army to fight an ideology, which is impossible anyway. Fundies' belief in sheer numbers of ignorant fearful followers just worsens the problem.

These fundies' beliefs truly are a damaging, soul-killing, racist, ugly way to live, based on fear rather than love. Why do they think it's godly to produce drones of kids like the Maxwells instead of nurtured, independent, compassionate offspring who can think for themselves, make their own choices, and stand on their own to be a benefit to the world.

That's why i don't have to feel selfish anymore for just having two kids... And pray that fundie kids can rise above their upbringing to understand true peace comes from respect instead of fighting against people or judging others or fearing them. But i still stand by my anger toward those who try to deceive and lie to families and say that the race to the bottom, poverty and irresponsibility is godly. I can respect their right to their beliefs, but not respect their trying to make people feel terrible for having other priorities.

/rambling thoughts of trying to detox from the brainwashing of my upbringing. :lol:

[usmcmom]

In today's post Lori is bashing public school again.

I sent this sentence to my evil publicly educated children and said "Please correct this sentence...."

Can any parent tell me how they can justify sending their children to a place where strangers {who most are not solid believers}

They each replied with ".....most OF WHOM are not solid believers...."

I JUST DON'T GET IT. We know these people have a "race to the bottom," financially speaking (love that term, by the way). Must they also prove their own stupidity so we will all know they graduated from the Holy SOTDRT?!? :angry-banghead:

Can Lori not see that you can be a Christian AND well educated. I cannot comprehend a world in which a "writer" so proudly waves her flag of ignorance every single day.

I'm not even going to argue with her about public school. But I am going to pick that post apart for grammatical and spelling errors. I think I'll start by sending a copy to my teacher friends and my sister, the English major.

(lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/05/biblical-case-against-public-schooling.html)

[lilwriter85]

I saw that she quoted from Kelly C. lol.

Lori is an idiot with the whole "most of them are believers". Now, depending on where you live, there might be schools where most of the teachers aren't believers. But in the South and many other areas, most public school teachers are probably Christian. But, then again, Lori see them as ungodly for teaching in ebil public schools.

As for Lori's kids, I'm curious about the public schools in her area. Isn't Carlsbad some upper middle class suburb.

[freealljs]

In today's post Lori is bashing public school again.

I sent this sentence to my evil publicly educated children and said "Please correct this sentence...."

They each replied with ".....most OF WHOM are not solid believers...."

I JUST DON'T GET IT. We know these people have a "race to the bottom," financially speaking (love that term, by the way). Must they also prove their own stupidity so we will all know they graduated from the Holy SOTDRT?!? :angry-banghead:

Can Lori not see that you can be a Christian AND well educated. I cannot comprehend a world in which a "writer" so proudly waves her flag of ignorance every single day.

I'm not even going to argue with her about public school. But I am going to pick that post apart for grammatical and spelling errors. I think I'll start by sending a copy to my teacher friends and my sister, the English major.

(lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/05/biblical-case-against-public-schooling.html)

Didn't Lori already write about this? It's like she can't get another new idea to write about. Perhaps Lori should take this as a sign that she needs to stop writing.

Also, she can't sight a biblical case against public schools, because there were no public schools as we know it today 2000+ years ago. I could easily give a case against cell phones and modern medicine using biblical cases as well, but I'm smart enough to know the logical fallacies in doing so.

[lilwriter85]

Didn't Lori already write about this? It's like she can't get another new idea to write about. Perhaps Lori should take this as a sign that she needs to stop writing.

Also, she can't sight a biblical case against public schools, because there were no public schools as we know it today 2000+ years ago. I could easily give a case against cell phones and modern medicine using biblical cases as well, but I'm smart enough to know the logical fallacies in doing so.

She has written about ebil public schools in the past before. She tries to put a different spin on it, at times. She has blogged a lot about working women and she at times tries to put slightly different spins on the topic.

With her posts about education and public schools, she has repeated things a few times already. She has mentioned Cassi being in a public middle school before. I don't think she ever mentioned Alyssa being in public school in the past.

Lori isn't letting a lot of comments go through these days. I think some of her regular readers are disagreeing with her more. Some of them are bound to disagree with Lori, because she has more of a privileged background than them. Lori's kids attendance at a Christian high school is something that some of Lori's readers will not connect with because they don't/didn't have the means for private Christian education.

Lori has talked about the homeschooling routine she used with her kids. I remember it was something like, an hour or two of math and then they spent rest of the time reading. Some homeschoolers probably wouldn't like that routine. They also wouldn't like the fact that Lori had a nanny and was also making her kids stay in their rooms for several hours. I had a fundie lite neighbor that homeschooled her three boys. She also had her bookkeeping business. She changed up the homeschooling schedule at times because of her business. But her methods seemed to be much better than Lori's method/routine. If her sons read books for certain subjects, my neighbor would have discussion sessions with them on the books and she would have them write reports at times.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I saw that she quoted from Kelly C. lol.

Lori is an idiot with the whole "most of them are believers". Now, depending on where you live, there might be schools where most of the teachers aren't believers. But in the South and many other areas, most public school teachers are probably Christian. But, then again, Lori see them as ungodly for teaching in ebil public schools.

As for Lori's kids, I'm curious about the public schools in her area. Isn't Carlsbad some upper middle class suburb.

Yes, it's ridiculously expensive! Of course they have fantastic schools.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Lori has taken a break from pretending to be a frugal homemaker, and gone back to bashing egalitarian marriage - once again proving that she understands absolutely nothing about them, despite being explicitly told how they work and how she is mistaken many times.

Let's dissect this:

1. There is the claim that without a clear model of husband dominance, roles are confused and spouses have no guidance on how to act without marriage.

False.

First, there's the Golden Rule. Jesus considers it pretty important in the New Testament, and versions of it exist in most other religions and moral codes. Love your spouse, treat your spouse with respect, think about how you would or would not like to be treated and apply that to your treatment of your spouse. Applying this stuff would address the majority of marital issues.

Second, treating someone the way you want to be treated means that if you wouldn't want to be bossed around, you shouldn't boss around your spouse. Therefore, functional egalitarian couples makes decisions together. For convenience, some decisions are delegated (unlike Lori, I don't think that buying a coffee really requires spousal permission), but they agree on what gets delegated and what is decided jointly. Most importantly, if they don't agree, there is no automatic default to one spouse. This does NOT mean that the wife automatically wins, contrary to what they may think. It means that both agree to the decision, and to take responsibility for the consequences.

Third, roles exist in egalitarian marriages. It's just that those roles are dictated by the spouses themselves, based on their unique talents, personalities and circumstances. For those of us who look at the Biblical story of creation, we see the idea of husband and wife becoming one as meaning that each individual couple represents 2 halves of a whole, not that any random woman is suitable for any random man. In each couple, the distribution of strengths will be different. One may be an introvert, one an extrovert. One may be strong in physical/spatial skills, one may be more verbal/intellectual. None of these traits are inherently masculine or feminine.

Fourth, there will be a lot of arguing and conflict without a clear leader IF you lack basic respect for your partner and any conflict resolution skills. I do believe that Lori and Ken happen to function better with clear rules, because they both have an absolute need to be right and take any disagreement as a personal attack. Those of us in functional egalitarian marriages aren't like that. We recognize at the outset that we are both worthy of respect. We recognize that we each bring unique strengths and perspectives to the table, and that this is a good thing because we benefit from a balanced, well-rounded perspective. I don't "win" by putting down my husband and his perspective and concerns. I don't "lose" if he has a good idea or a valid point. If we are able to put our egos aside, and not see every decision as a struggle for control, then each discussion is calm and we can focus on the technical points of which option is the best. Once we agree, it is OUR decision - not his or mine. We often forget who had the original idea or request. We don't go along grudgingly, secretly praying to God to change our spouse's heart or step back to allow God to strike our spouse. In fact, when we hear things like that, it sounds pretty dysfunctional and miserable.

Google "collaborative". Now, in my day job as a Degreed Law Professional[tm][/tm], I work with couples that are so dysfuctional that the marriage itself has fallen apart. Even then, we can divide them into high conflict and low conflict. The high conflict ones are itching for a fight. They are right, they are righteous, and they need a court to declare it. When we have high conflict cases, it's really hard to resolve anything, because every single issue, big or small, becomes a battle and phrase like "it's the principle" get thrown around a lot. Low conflict couples can agree to put aside differences long enough to benefit from collaborative family law or mediation, focus on the actual issues and basically come up with their own settlement and decisions. When the process works, they are more likely to stick with the settlement, and less likely to try to overturn it or sabotage it. They also don't destroy each other in the process.

[FundieFarmer]

.../snip...Now, in my day job as a Degreed Law Profession[tm][/tm]...

Pretty sure I will always snort when I see this :lol:

I also loved what you said about there still being roles within an egalitarian marriage. Lori clearly doesn't get that egalitarian does not mean total anarchy.