Joshley Madison Pt 8: Are We Still Talking About This?

[December]

That boys' room does look horrific. I had a friend growing up who lived in a small house with many siblings crammed into a few small rooms. Those children were allowed to decorate their rooms to their own taste and personalize them. Shared spaces don't need to be miserable, but this stuff just looks like a bunker.

Also, the Josh-mask is hilarious. Always a good tactic when you're a cheating celebrity to use easily recognizable photos on the dating website and usernames that contain your actual name. Too bad the pictures didn't come out earlier, because the pop-up Halloween stores could've made a pretty penny on Joshley Madison costumes. 

[EmCatlyn]

One thing I wonder about Josh is how far he has gone in rejecting the fundie teachings.  Yes, he definitely didn't act the way his religion taught.  He certainly was a hypocrite. But did he act cynically, dismissing the purity rules as stupid and concluding he could act however he wanted so long as he didn't get caught?  Or did he watch porn, go to strip clubs, pay hookers and join adultery sites believing that he was sinning, but unable to resist?

If he was cynically pretending to be this virtuous family man, then he will come back still cynical but probably more bitter and certainly sneaker than before.  But if he was doing all those forbidden things and experiencing guilt (or at least the fear of hellfire), then the "retraining" may work for a while.  He may come back with the intention of doing better. Since he is fundamentally selfish and lazy and since he will continue to lust for more than what he can find at home, he will eventually sin again... But he will not do so easily.

Right now he may be pretending to drink the kool aid or he may be swallowing it willingly in big gulps, hoping that God (who, in his mind, probably looks like an older and more dignified Jim Bob) will forgive him, give him strength to stop sinning.   I don't know which and I don't suppose it makes a lot of difference-- he will fall into sins of the flesh again.  And he is a sleeze either way.  But I do wonder how much he has thought -- or is capable of thinking-- about what his sexual desires and why marriage to Anna was not the answer.  Does he have any idea that there are other ways to be and still go to heaven?  

[JillyO]

Do they have anything they would call their personal belongings? Even their Bibles? They have no childhood treasures. Nothing. The beds are hideous in my opinion and only make the room look smaller.

 

They are pretty hideous,  but the room looks small because they have too many boys in one room. I've never considered the Duggars to be one of the most egregious of the privacy-bashing fundies, but it's atrocious that they force the children to live like sardines.
 

I don't understand what you guys are talking about. That room has plenty of space. Just imagine how many more kids Erika Shupe could fit in there!

[FlamingFundie]

My opinion on the floor-level bunk beds is that the lower levels are for the little boys, so if they roll off the bed they won't fall far. Its common in Montessori for toddlers and young children to have their mattress/bed on the floor for that reason.

Also, no under-the-bed space means no stashing secret items or hiding from angry parents who weld a ruler...

[ClaraOswin]

I hope none of the low beds are right in front of that slide opening. Ha!

[Cleopatra7]

One thing I wonder about Josh is how far he has gone in rejecting the fundie teachings.  Yes, he definitely didn't act the way his religion taught.  He certainly was a hypocrite. But did he act cynically, dismissing the purity rules as stupid and concluding he could act however he wanted so long as he didn't get caught?  Or did he watch porn, go to strip clubs, pay hookers and join adultery sites believing that he was sinning, but unable to resist?

If he was cynically pretending to be this virtuous family man, then he will come back still cynical but probably more bitter and certainly sneaker than before.  But if he was doing all those forbidden things and experiencing guilt (or at least the fear of hellfire), then the "retraining" may work for a while.  He may come back with the intention of doing better. Since he is fundamentally selfish and lazy and since he will continue to lust for more than what he can find at home, he will eventually sin again... But he will not do so easily.

Right now he may be pretending to drink the kool aid or he may be swallowing it willingly in big gulps, hoping that God (who, in his mind, probably looks like an older and more dignified Jim Bob) will forgive him, give him strength to stop sinning.   I don't know which and I don't suppose it makes a lot of difference-- he will fall into sins of the flesh again.  And he is a sleeze either way.  But I do wonder how much he has thought -- or is capable of thinking-- about what his sexual desires and why marriage to Anna was not the answer.  Does he have any idea that there are other ways to be and still go to heaven?  

I've been thinking a bit about this as well. My guess is that Josh compartmentalized his life and his beliefs. I think he absolutely believed in the "family values" nonsense that he spewed, even as he was undermining his own family. On his OkCupid profile, he said that atheists had no morals or something to that effect, despite the fact that he himself was looking for side action. We see these types of behaviors happening with priests, ministers, rabbis, politicians, and regular people, who may preach one thing and practice something very different in their private lives, thinking that as long as no one finds out about what they're doing then it somehow doesn't count.

Does Josh still believe in Gothardism? Probably. He might chaff at the sexual purity doctrines, but I don't think that Josh is capable of understanding that there are other ways of living that are healthier and more satisfying than what he was raised with. Maybe he really believes that Satan built a fortress in his heart and that he needs to recommit himself to Gothardism. However, it also seems like the sexually predatory behavior he exhibited as a teen was never addressed and it's simply manifesting itself in other ways, if we take Danica Dillon's story at face value. Once Josh leaves whatever hole he's currently in, he will probably go back to his parents' beliefs, have a big "repentance tour" to repair the Duggar brand, and then get involved in another sex scandal by the end of 2016.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Maybe Smugs will come out of rehab with a bit more discretion oh who he fucks around with.  I'm suggesting this shirt:

 

 

Why is almost every word capitalized except Jesus?  Most Christians capitalize pronouns when referring to God or Jesus, but no matter what you believe it's a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.

Who is this and from which dining room table did he graduate?

 

[Drala]

One thing I wonder about Josh is how far he has gone in rejecting the fundie teachings.  Yes, he definitely didn't act the way his religion taught.  He certainly was a hypocrite. But did he act cynically, dismissing the purity rules as stupid and concluding he could act however he wanted so long as he didn't get caught?  Or did he watch porn, go to strip clubs, pay hookers and join adultery sites believing that he was sinning, but unable to resist?

If he was cynically pretending to be this virtuous family man, then he will come back still cynical but probably more bitter and certainly sneaker than before.  But if he was doing all those forbidden things and experiencing guilt (or at least the fear of hellfire), then the "retraining" may work for a while.  He may come back with the intention of doing better. Since he is fundamentally selfish and lazy and since he will continue to lust for more than what he can find at home, he will eventually sin again... But he will not do so easily.

Right now he may be pretending to drink the kool aid or he may be swallowing it willingly in big gulps, hoping that God (who, in his mind, probably looks like an older and more dignified Jim Bob) will forgive him, give him strength to stop sinning.   I don't know which and I don't suppose it makes a lot of difference-- he will fall into sins of the flesh again.  And he is a sleeze either way.  But I do wonder how much he has thought -- or is capable of thinking-- about what his sexual desires and why marriage to Anna was not the answer.  Does he have any idea that there are other ways to be and still go to heaven?  

I just read an article about a study on "What happens to men who stay abstinent until marriage?"  Findings show that the guys loose their purity support groups after marriage and they are not able to talk openly with their wives about sexual temptations they may be experiencing.  Basically, when Josh lost his external controls (family, mom/dad), he didn't have anywhere to go for help to cope with his "beastly" urges.

http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/what-happens-men-who-stay-abstinent-until-marriage 

https://theconversation.com/what-happens-to-men-who-stay-abstinent-until-marriage-47898

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

One thing I wonder about Josh is how far he has gone in rejecting the fundie teachings.  Yes, he definitely didn't act the way his religion taught.  He certainly was a hypocrite. But did he act cynically, dismissing the purity rules as stupid and concluding he could act however he wanted so long as he didn't get caught?  Or did he watch porn, go to strip clubs, pay hookers and join adultery sites believing that he was sinning, but unable to resist?

If he was cynically pretending to be this virtuous family man, then he will come back still cynical but probably more bitter and certainly sneaker than before.  But if he was doing all those forbidden things and experiencing guilt (or at least the fear of hellfire), then the "retraining" may work for a while.  He may come back with the intention of doing better. Since he is fundamentally selfish and lazy and since he will continue to lust for more than what he can find at home, he will eventually sin again... But he will not do so easily.

Right now he may be pretending to drink the kool aid or he may be swallowing it willingly in big gulps, hoping that God (who, in his mind, probably looks like an older and more dignified Jim Bob) will forgive him, give him strength to stop sinning.   I don't know which and I don't suppose it makes a lot of difference-- he will fall into sins of the flesh again.  And he is a sleeze either way.  But I do wonder how much he has thought -- or is capable of thinking-- about what his sexual desires and why marriage to Anna was not the answer.  Does he have any idea that there are other ways to be and still go to heaven?  

I just read an article about a study on "What happens to men who stay abstinent until marriage?"  Findings show that the guys loose their purity support groups after marriage and they are not able to talk openly with their wives about sexual temptations they may be experiencing.  Basically, when Josh lost his external controls (family, mom/dad), he didn't have anywhere to go for help to cope with his "beastly" urges.

http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/what-happens-men-who-stay-abstinent-until-marriage 

https://theconversation.com/what-happens-to-men-who-stay-abstinent-until-marriage-47898

 

Well, yeah, but this is a very small subset of the population of guy who are not only waiting, but are involved in a specific support group while waiting.  I can't imagine the vast majority of guys being in any kind of support group like this, even if they are practicing abstinence.  

Tbh in my experience men don't tend to talk to their wives about sexual temptations they may be experiencing anyway.  And I'm not sure this is common amongst men themselves...sexual jokes and comments are one thing, but heartfelt discussions about what they need sexually and their issues?  I don't think that happens all that much.  I could be wrong, they could all talk amongst each other like they are on a private showing of the view...but judging from the men in my life I really doubt it.  

When Josh lost his external controls he could have sought out a counselor, talked to his dad who you know is always up for a lego conversation, or showed a modicum of self control because he sure as hell was taught some urges can't be satisfied ethically.

 

[Drala]

Josh is fundamentally a dishonest person.  I agree that if he was serious about purity for  himself, he should have reached out for support in that area.  Something the article pointed out is that there is an assumption that with marriage, all sexual urges will be satisfied, which is naive.

[clueliss]

Josh gave in to heast 'beastly urges' long before he married.  So from my perspective it is not like family mom/dad were exactly a support group.  Not when mom/dad are humping like bunnies and telling you that's a sin.

[withaj]

Maybe Smugs will come out of rehab with a bit more discretion oh who he fucks around with.  I'm suggesting this shirt:

 

 

Why is almost every word capitalized except Jesus?  Most Christians capitalize pronouns when referring to God or Jesus, but no matter what you believe it's a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.

Who is this and from which dining room table did he graduate?

I would guess it's because the tittles (this really is the word) over lowercase i and j don't fit above in that lettering, and if they capitalized they'd look like ls. 

Also, since everything is capitalized, not capitalizing Jesus has the same effect as capitalizing it in a normally formatted sentence.

Taking my overthinking hat off now.

[ksgranola1]

testing an avatar....

nope. Anyone want to tell me how to upload an avatar?

[Bad Wolf]

testing an avatar....

nope. Anyone want to tell me how to upload an avatar?

I'd like to know too.  FAQ didn't help.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

testing an avatar....

nope. Anyone want to tell me how to upload an avatar?

I'd like to know too.  FAQ didn't help.

I just happened to see this, but you guys really need to post stuff like this in the tech support forum where it will answered.  

When you go through the steps in the FAQ where is it failing?  Are you getting error messages?  Is the picture not uploading?  I'll update the FAQ with screen shots (give me about 20 minutes) and then look again.  If it still doesn't work post to the tech support forum or PM me.  Adding @ksgranola1 so she sees this.  

 

[ShepherdontheRock]

Sorry if this has been posted already...but thought this was funny.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

testing an avatar....

nope. Anyone want to tell me how to upload an avatar?

I'd like to know too.  FAQ didn't help.

I just happened to see this, but you guys really need to post stuff like this in the tech support forum where it will answered.  

When you go through the steps in the FAQ where is it failing?  Are you getting error messages?  Is the picture not uploading?  I'll update the FAQ with screen shots (give me about 20 minutes) and then look again.  If it still doesn't work post to the tech support forum or PM me.  Adding @ksgranola1 so she sees this.  

 

Quoting myself - screen shots are in my status for now...profile > status feed > step by step on how to upload avatar.  Sorry it took me a while - real life called.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

My opinion on the floor-level bunk beds is that the lower levels are for the little boys, so if they roll off the bed they won't fall far. Its common in Montessori for toddlers and young children to have their mattress/bed on the floor for that reason.

Also, no under-the-bed space means no stashing secret items or hiding from angry parents who weld a ruler...

The point you make about the under-the-bed space is a good one, however the "little" boys aren't so little anymore-- Levi is 11  which would put him in 5th grade.  I would hardly call him a toddler or a young child.  Another year or two should see him start a growth spurt. 

 

If I thought about hiring Jonathon Hartano as a handyman/carpenter and then looked at those bunk beds, I doubt I would hire him.  They look clunky and poorly designed.  I don't think the boys can even sit up in bed if they sleep in the lower bunk, much less sit on the edge of the bed.  What is the point of having that second tier so close to the bottom bunk? I suspect that someone-- probably JB-- "designed" them and didn't know what the hell they were doing.

 

Can anyone tell what is in that wooden barrel?  It looks like dried flower plumes which seems a bit odd for such a featureless room.  No Astronomy map, no car motifs, no movie posters but they have dried flowers.

[ClaraOswin]

Who is Levi??

[DarkAnts]

Who is Levi??

Jackson Levi

[Fascinated]

I was upset when we had our third child that two of our kids would have to share a room for a few years.  Not having enough room was one reason we stopped having kids. Bizarre, I know. 

[nst]

I was upset when we had our third child that two of our kids would have to share a room for a few years.  Not having enough room was one reason we stopped having kids. Bizarre, I know. 

you are never bizarre 

 

[Fascinated]

@nst, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!

 

Now, go and run around the block or something and get things going ok??  

[nst]

@nst, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!

 

Now, go and run around the block or something and get things going ok??  

Coping tips

Don't become a slave to your stopwatch just yet – it's stressful and exhausting to record every contraction over the many long hours of labor, and it isn't necessary. Instead, you may want to time them periodically to get a sense of what's going on. In most cases, your contractions will let you know in no uncertain terms when it's time to take them more seriousl

[foreign fundie]

Responding to the idea that Josh compartmentalizes his believes:

You can believe one thing and do another. However if you really believe the one thing, you will be shocked by your actions and struggle to get back on track.

If you continue to act opposite to your believes, the reality of your actions will slowly eat away the foundation of your believes. Those believes will remain an empty shell, ready to collapse when your dubble life is rocked. 

If you are to rebuild these believes,  it takes some serious conversion. It is easier to put the shell of your merely theoretical believes back up and continue the dubble life for as long as it lasts.

If he had not seriously hurt so many people I would feel sorry for him. Living a lie sucks.