Cincinnati Zoo Incident: Stop Blaming the Mother

[Emkay]

18 hours ago, Geechee Girl said:

In my view, this situation boils down to lax parenting. Imo, this wasn't an accident. His mother failed him that day. Forgive me, I can't quote on my phone. Upthread it was mentioned this child was told repeatedly not to climb. I honestly believe this wasn't the first incident of this boy misbehaving and running around where he wasn't supposed to. It seems he had no one being the adult in this situation.

To my ears, spirited sounds like a euphemism for unruly and  I don't tolerate foolishness. I do not repeat warnings. They get one and only one. I expect obedience first time, every time.

I hesitate to post this because I know I probably sound strict, mean or heartless. Perhaps childrearing is way different in my culture.

 

I agree that the child was failed. When I first heard about the situation, I instantly thought of a family member. Whenever there are family events, this particular person has no interest in watching their children, leaving it to others to do so. I shudder to think of what home life is like for those kids, or what it would be like if they went to somewhere like the zoo. When the kids are told no, mom is usually 'trying' not to laugh at their antics. (This is the same relative with the car seats I mentioned in another post, if anyone has read that one). 

[roddma]

But the reason I posted this is society still blames only moms. Only moms are investigated. nothing mentioned about dad. Dads can set boundaries and watch kids Where was the Dad when the mom was attending to the other kid? 

Quote

It's not authoritarian, it's called discipline I guess my parents should be in Jail for using a belt on me, wooden spoon, bare hand, switch. 

Im not against a swat on the bottom with  a bare hand, but I can never justify a belt. Little OT, I may have gotten 2 spankings (one i dont recall since I was 20 and none of them were with belts.

[MatthewDuggar]

I blame Walt Disney for making kids think that dangerous wild animals can have the same personality and mannerisms as human beings.

Seriously, I want to believe it was all just a freak occurrence and I hope it will bring about awareness and change.

[2manyKidzzz]

I don't think any parent even in their wildest dreams could imagine taking their child to the zoo and having said child fall into the enclosure of a dangerous wild animal. People take their kids to the zoo and zoos now need to reevaluate and make enclosures safer. 

[nelliebelle1197]

13 hours ago, roddma said:

But the reason I posted this is society still blames only moms. Only moms are investigated. nothing mentioned about dad. Dads can set boundaries and watch kids Where was the Dad when the mom was attending to the other kid? 

Im not against a swat on the bottom with  a bare hand, but I can never justify a belt. Little OT, I may have gotten 2 spankings (one i dont recall since I was 20 and none of them were with belts.

I cannot believe your balls of steel. You show up here after all that time on the FreedJinger Facebook page and post like you are not a big fat hypocrite. Your are checking out information here for Beb and OperaRocks then running back  over here like you are not slamming FJ all over the internet and hanging out online with a woman who is out to destroy and dox @Curious. This is her house, in the end. If you do not respect her enough not to aid people out to get her and not to slam her forum all over the internet, then you should not be here.

You have been banned from other places for similar behavior. Why don't you just hang out with Beb, Pregnant Porn Star and OperaRocks so that you can quit the hypocrisy.

[formergothardite]

 

3 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I cannot believe your balls of steel. You show up here after all that time on the FreedJinger Facebook page and post like you are not a big fat hypocrite. Your are checking out information here for Beb and OperaRocks then running back  over here like you are not slamming FJ all over the internet and hanging out online with a woman who is out to destroy and dox @Curious. This is he house. If you do not respect her enough not to aid people out to get her, then you should not be here.

After what she did and is doing, it really isn't like this is going to be forgotten. This is going to fucking haunt her as long as she posts here. 

 

[Palimpsest]

30 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

 

After what she did and is doing, it really isn't like this is going to be forgotten. This is going to fucking haunt her as long as she posts here. 

 

Apparently she has no shame.  I just don't get it.

[nelliebelle1197]

6 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Apparently she has no shame.  I just don't get it.

I for one am not letting up. You can't butter your bread on both sides without dealing with the grease.

[Curious]

3 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I for one am not letting up. You can't butter your bread on both sides without dealing with the grease.

As much as it pains me, I will point out that PPS has not been involved on freedjinger as far as I can tell.  However, you missed deeleam.

Quite the line up they have over there 

[nelliebelle1197]

50 minutes ago, Curious said:

As much as it pains me, I will point out that PPS has not been involved on freedjinger as far as I can tell.  However, you missed deeleam.

Quite the line up they have over there 

I heard @roddma  and friends were up to 7 members on FreedJinger. I always forget about deeleam.

But what I meant by PPS was PPS' former presence on GOMI. Roddma certainly talked to her on there!

[SpoonfulOSugar]

45 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I heard @roddma and friends were up to 7 members on FreedJinger. I always forget about deeleam.

But what I meant by PPS was PPS' current incarnation on GOMI. Roddma certainly is talking to her on there!

Fixed that for you.  

Because I just am kind that way.

[Rowan]

Late coming into this discussion because I've been away, and didn't take my computer.

This story hits VERY close to home for me and many people I know. That barrier was not just cakewalk to get through - the wires were closer together than they appear in the one photo posted, with very little slack. The bushes were very thorny ones and can't have been easy to navigate. And as someone else said, he's extremely lucky to not have died or been seriously injured in the fall into the moat. This zoo is extremely popular, and the gorillas are one of the most visited locations. The exhibit had been that way for 38 years with no issues of this level. None. 

The child was expressing full desire to go in the exhibit, repeatedly per witnesses. But the mom still stayed at that location and took her eyes/hand off of him. When we are out ANYwhere, my 4 year old niece's hand is being held by someone at all times, or she is strapped in the stroller or grocery cart even though she is generally well behaved. And that goes double for my 2 year old nephew, particularly because he's showing signs of being a runner. Do they hate it sometimes? Absolutely. Do we still do it? No question. But many people think a zoo is a playground, where their kids can apparently do whatever. I was at the zoo in question two days later, and it was astounding to me how many little kids were 5-10 feet (or more!) away from their parents, often without the parents even looking at the kid. There is NO excuse for that. NONE. Even if it was on walkways and not at an exhibit.

The info that the mother was there with a friend and six total kids, 5 of them 7 or younger? That's crazy. I appreciate that people want to get out and take kids places and the zoo is a great place to do it. But if you cannot manage that number of kids, either you get more help or you don't go. Unless at least two were in a double stroller, that is more young children than adult hands to hold them. In the time she wasn't watching him and he breached the barrier, leading to the death of an amazing and valuable animal, he could have been easily kidnapped. So even a more frequent event might have happened that had nothing to do with the location. There is normal attention that needs to be paid to kids in public, and then there is a higher level for crowded places with potential dangers. Especially when the kid is broadcasting that he is going to do something dangerous. That mother failed. The zoo, the public, and the member's of Harambe's species (both at the zoo and the population in the future) paid the price for her lack of attention to her child.

[roddma]

If the mother failed the DAD failed too. Where are they?

No matter who you think I am, harassment and stalking are serious and the last thing I say on here. 

[Fascinated]

@roddma, I don't think I've ever actually directly interacted with you. But your point about mothers being blamed is well taken. I agree that that happens. This situation is a no-win. We are either neglectful or helicopter parents. Both bad. If I had my children at a zoo I made damn sure they were safe. She is not being charged so I suppose the matter ends. 

But, I truly think you need to decide if you are a member here or not. It is disturbing that you post innocently here and then run over to your friends on GOMI. Seriously. Just make a decision. You really shouldn't want it both ways.  

[formergothardite]

This is a community @roddma and if you run around trashing the community in other places on the internet you just can't expect to come back and everyone act like you didn't do that. If you hate FJ, stop posting. But you can't have it both ways. 

[Palimpsest]

23 minutes ago, roddma said:

No matter who you think I am, harassment and stalking are serious and the last thing I say on here. 

Yup.  You might want to pass that information on to your pals at Freed Jinger.  You are mixing with the wrong crowd there.  The person being harassed here is @Curious.  I wouldn't play with those people.  They make you look like a two-faced little fool and will give you fleas - or worse.

Why some people who are banned from FJ go to such lengths is beyond me.   It is just an internet forum, FFS. 

[Fascinated]

1 minute ago, Palimpsest said:

Yup.  You might want to pass that information on to your pals at Freed Jinger.  You are mixing with the wrong crowd there.  The person being harassed here is @Curious.  I wouldn't play with those people.  They make you look like a two-faced little fool and will give you fleas - or worse.

Why some people who are banned from FJ go to such lengths is beyond me.   It is just an internet forum, FFS. 

Yes!  @roddma, listen to this. They are playing you. 

[Rowan]

41 minutes ago, roddma said:

If the mother failed the DAD failed too. Where are they?

No matter who you think I am, harassment and stalking are serious and the last thing I say on here. 

DAD wasn't at the zoo. 

[Mecca]

1 hour ago, roddma said:

If the mother failed the DAD failed too. Where are they?

No matter who you think I am, harassment and stalking are serious and the last thing I say on here. 

You keep saying that people are blaming the mother, but I believe it was just the mother at the zoo, correct? That is why people are talking about the mother and her reaction in this situation. 

On another note: Piss or get off the pot already. I find it really odd that you keep badmouthing this forum and the members of this forum and then comeback here like you said nothing. You have made it crystal clear who you are on other forums. No one is stalking you to get that information. You are freely giving away your own identify. Be a part of community or don't, that is up to you, but realize the people you are dealing with on the other sites do not have your best interest in mind. They want to use you to move their own stupid and ridiculously long grudge forward. 

[Khan]

Does anyone know the extent of the child's injuries?  I'm amazed that he didn't break something in that fall. It's horrible all around.  The mother is thanking god for the zookeepers killing Harambe.  I hope she's not telling that kid it's a miracle. It's too many kids and not enough hands to hold onto em at once.

[Curious]

8 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

But what I meant by PPS was PPS' former presence on GOMI. Roddma certainly talked to her on there!

Yep you are right there.   I misunderstood what you were referring to.  I do want to keep things factual though and PPS has not shown up on freedjinger.

What is kind of sad is that I think PPS could have actually made a good member of FJ if she hadn't thrown in with the people she did.  Frankly, she would have flown under our radar with witherwings if she could stay away from her "hot button" issues.   Her other posts were good and topical.   I tried to tell her that when she was here, but she wouldn't listen

[HerNameIsBuffy]

58 minutes ago, Curious said:

Yep you are right there.   I misunderstood what you were referring to.  I do want to keep things factual though and PPS has not shown up on freedjinger.

What is kind of sad is that I think PPS could have actually made a good member of FJ if she hadn't thrown in with the people she did.  Frankly, she would have flown under our radar with witherwings if she could stay away from her "hot button" issues.   Her other posts were good and topical.   I tried to tell her that when she was here, but she wouldn't listen

I agree - that could have gone very differently.  It's too bad, she did contribute and there were times I enjoyed her posts.  It's unfortunate.

[Curious]

5 hours ago, roddma said:

If the mother failed the DAD failed too. Where are they?

No matter who you think I am, harassment and stalking are serious and the last thing I say on here. 

If the father was not there, he can hardly be blamed.  It sounds like he was not in attendance.  What was he supposed to do?  Telepathically stop the child?  I agree that mothers often get the brunt of the blame where it is not always deserved, but if she is the parent in attendance when a tragedy strikes and the other parent is not even there, he can hardly be blamed.

You are NOT being harassed or stalked.  You are being called out on your gross hypocrisy.  Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from the consequences of that speech.

If I was other sites claiming I hated FJ and the members all sucked, I would FULLY expect to be called out on that behavior and I would definitely expect to be asked to step down as owner if I felt that way.

Fortunately, while I don't think FJ is perfect and there are things I would like to see change, I think the majority of the membership is made up of wonderful, intelligent, diverse people who make the site great and while I may post that there are things about FJ I do not like, I LOVE FJ and wouldn't bash it on one site and then waltz back here posting like FJ is in some kind of vacuum and those other posts do not exist.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

10 hours ago, roddma said:

If the mother failed the DAD failed too. Where are they?

So, if you believe that a parent who is not with his/her child is equally responsible with the present parent for that child's safety, I don't really know what to say to you.

You just made me feel guilty for every time I sent my kids on an outing with their dad without me. I wasn't watching them! I wasn't holding their hands! How could I let them down like that?!!

For crying out loud! Yes, mothers have a greater expectation placed on them for parenting their children than fathers. No, that isn't right. But this particular situation doesn't fit your agenda for this discussion. Find a new, better-fitting situation to use as an example, or discuss this situation as it actually happened. (Not to mention that a father [singular] is a "he", not a "they". [plural] )

[EyeQueue]

20 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

on the FreedJinger Facebook page

Just took a quick peek at the FreedJinger Facebook. And....LMFAO!

Whoever FreedJinger is claims that the posts about FJ on GOMI are "witty" and "clever."