Cincinnati Zoo Incident: Stop Blaming the Mother

[louisa05]

3 hours ago, EyeQueue said:

Just took a quick peek at the FreedJinger Facebook. And....LMFAO!

Whoever FreedJinger is claims that the posts about FJ on GOMI are "witty" and "clever."

Oh, my. That page is a train wreck. I join the chorus in not understanding the point of having such an obsession with an internet forum that you were banned from or chose to leave. I have come and gone from more than one forum without such drama. I was nearly banned from one (of course, it barely took any effort to be banned from that site--if they want to know what an overly moderated site looks like, that one is a good place to go). 

My biggest complaint, having read that lovely FB page, is this: @Curious: This is the most pathetic cult I have ever seen. When are you going to dictate our personal lives? Why have you not told us how to dress? Why am I still married to my non-FJ Cult member spouse? What kind of sorry little unorganized no rules cult are you running here? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

6 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Oh, my. That page is a train wreck. I join the chorus in not understanding the point of having such an obsession with an internet forum that you were banned from or chose to leave. I have come and gone from more than one forum without such drama. I was nearly banned from one (of course, it barely took any effort to be banned from that site--if they want to know what an overly moderated site looks like, that one is a good place to go). 

My biggest complaint, having read that lovely FB page, is this: @Curious: This is the most pathetic cult I have ever seen. When are you going to dictate our personal lives? Why have you not told us how to dress? Why am I still married to my non-FJ Cult member spouse? What kind of sorry little unorganized no rules cult are you running here? 

Thank you!  I've been asking that for a while now.  I need some kind of pamphlet or something, because I have no idea what I'm being required to believe or what rules I'm supposed to follow.  

I'm wearing a light blue top today.  Is that okay?  How am I supposed to live my life if the great and powerful @Curious won't tell me?

[Curious]

The Great and Powerful Curious is such a great leader that she allows her followers free thought.  That's the kind of benevolent leader I am

[nelliebelle1197]

@Curious CONTROLS THE INTERNET!

from her basement

[formergothardite]

I've heard Bill Gothard has lots of spare time should you need some help in running a controlling cult. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

8 minutes ago, Curious said:

The Great and Powerful Curious is such a great leader that she allows her followers free thought.  That's the kind of benevolent leader I am

Benevolent leader but seems like a pretty ineffective cult if we can be in it without our knowledge.  

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

16 hours ago, roddma said:

If the mother failed the DAD failed too. Where are they?

No matter who you think I am, harassment and stalking are serious and the last thing I say on here. 

I do agree that harassment and stalking are serious.  I assume you're referring to what is happening with being called out about posting on other sites - in which case that's neither stalking nor harassment.

If anyone is ever really harassed or stalked on/via FJ they need to report it.  If it's something we can address I know I speak for every HM and admin that we would take those reports as seriously if they come from someone who may feel less than beloved here (or even banned) as we do from those with whom we have personal relationships and everyone in between.

If I saw doxing (for example) on this site I'd pull it down as fast as I'd pull someone back in real life if I saw them about to walk into traffic.  I wouldn't stop to evaluate whether I liked their opinions or not.  There is zero doubt in my mind that goes for every single admin/HM.

This is an internet forum.  One of millions and at the end of the day we can chose to participate or not.  We can can choose to participate and talk shit about it elsewhere.

I get how the hypocrisy and seeing someone one likes bashed (especially when the smack being talked isn't true) - I totally get it.  And people have every right to call it out.  As was mentioned we all have the right to say what we want as long as it's legal, we don't have the right to demand to say it free of retort.

Mileage varies on this but personally I don't really care if people shit talk elsewhere.  I don't like it when it's personal (and inaccurate) but not everyone will like every forum nor everyone else and some people dwell on this kind of stuff more than I can wrap my head around.  When it's just bitching about how much we suck...I don't even bother to read it because honestly - not worth my time.  Certainly not going to dignify it with a response because apathy being my default and all.

But when doxing comes into play and someone wants to take this into real life (and to be very clear I am NOT talking about @roddma here - she's not doing that) that's not just shit talking anymore.  That's moving into the land of crazy, imo, because again it's just an internet forum.  

At the risk of sounding pompous, I find that ethically offensive because no matter what people have said about FJ, or do, no one here would allow that to be done to anyone.  And spreading lies elsewhere implying that we allow doxing, stalking, etc. bothers me because it's just not true.  

FJ is not for everyone - no doubt.  And I can absolutely see people being unhappy with the tone or culture, whathaveyou, here and if they want to bitch about it, fine, if you can't find a better hobby.  But the implication that the reason it sucks is because of violations like that being allowed is different because it's just.  not.  true.

That said - if any one of those people saying those things about FJ were doxed here it would be taken down the second someone was aware of it...because protection of the ToU applies to everyone equally.

Roddma I don't think I've ever had a personal interaction with you - I do appreciate your contribution of "toilet elitist" to the FJ lexicon which is my favorite turn of phrase ever...but I want to say that if you're getting stalked or harassed privately by people here then please report it so it can be investigated.  If you're just talking about people calling you out for being a shit-talker on other sites while you're here?  It's not harassment.   People reading other public forums where they discuss FJ isn't stalking.  

 

 

 

[nelliebelle1197]

And since most of this forum is predicated on reading other sites and talking about them, then well, that is not a great case for stalking.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

16 hours ago, Fascinated said:

@roddma, I don't think I've ever actually directly interacted with you. But your point about mothers being blamed is well taken. I agree that that happens. This situation is a no-win. We are either neglectful or helicopter parents. Both bad. If I had my children at a zoo I made damn sure they were safe. She is not being charged so I suppose the matter ends. 

But, I truly think you need to decide if you are a member here or not. It is disturbing that you post innocently here and then run over to your friends on GOMI. Seriously. Just make a decision. You really shouldn't want it both ways.  

To the bolded, I was struck by how it really applies to the FJ stuff we're talking about, too.

We're either draconian over-moderators or it's just the wild west where no one cares which is why it's being overrun and going to hell in a hand-basket.  And at times the same people complaining about both, depending on whether they feel hand-slapped or whether they think we're derelict in not hand slapping the person annoying them.  

The truth is moderation, like parenting, is more an art than a science and you can get it right overall but there will always be individual calls which won't be perfect.  

Just kind of interesting how analogous one situation is to the other.  

[laPapessaGiovanna]

6 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

So, if you believe that a parent who is not with his/her child is equally responsible with the present parent for that child's safety, I don't really know what to say to you.

You just made me feel guilty for every time I sent my kids on an outing with their dad without me. I wasn't watching them! I wasn't holding their hands! How could I let them down like that?!!

For crying out loud! Yes, mothers have a greater expectation placed on them for parenting their children than fathers. No, that isn't right. But this particular situation doesn't fit your agenda for this discussion. Find a new, better-fitting situation to use as an example, or discuss this situation as it actually happened. (Not to mention that a father [singular] is a "he", not a "they". [plural] )

But I told you we need to blame the father! *throws a major, feet-stomping tantrum * Why are you so stubbornly and obnoxiously reasonable? You need to stop it now! Do you hear me, now! Otherwise I'll have to go to complain with those people who are so much cleverer and understanding than you. And it will be your fault because you can't accept my opinions as the only valid ones are a bunch of liberal meanies who can't accept controversial, not backed by facts more conservative opinions. And you aren't feminists anymore! 

[devoe364]

I went to GOMI today, having never heard of it before. 

I read the Free Jinger thread. 

Moderators are not responsible for the off site behaviour of members. Plain and simple.

As members, we should maybe be adults. There are things that some FJers do that I find morally ambigous at best. however, my response is to not interact in those threads. Some of you have behaved in ways that I would never (going to Church where Joshley was sent to the prayer closet for example). HOWEVER, it is not the responsibility of the Mods or Admins to police that.

Honestly? A lot of their snarking is complaining about the snarking that happens here. My opinion? If you don't like it, don't participate in it; I read a lot of blogs that are trainwrecks. I don't comment for that very reason. I come here to comment and talk to people who are like myself.

That is why FJ is for me (although I am really interested in these SUPER SEKRET FORUMS that they keep discussing - but only because they seem so interested) - there are people who are like minded. If you find you don't fit in with that, find another site. 

That's what I would do at least...

[HearMeRoar]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Benevolent leader but seems like a pretty ineffective cult if we can be in it without our knowledge.  

 

Oh, but that makes it so much more effective!!! We are all so brainwashed, that we are just blindly following! Curious is just that cunning and awesome! 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, devoe364 said:

I went to GOMI today, having never heard of it before. 

I read the Free Jinger thread. 

Moderators are not responsible for the off site behaviour of members. Plain and simple.

As members, we should maybe be adults. There are things that some FJers do that I find morally ambigous at best. however, my response is to not interact in those threads. Some of you have behaved in ways that I would never (going to Church where Joshley was sent to the prayer closet for example). HOWEVER, it is not the responsibility of the Mods or Admins to police that.

Honestly? A lot of their snarking is complaining about the snarking that happens here. My opinion? If you don't like it, don't participate in it; I read a lot of blogs that are trainwrecks. I don't comment for that very reason. I come here to comment and talk to people who are like myself.

That is why FJ is for me (although I am really interested in these SUPER SEKRET FORUMS that they keep discussing - but only because they seem so interested) - there are people who are like minded. If you find you don't fit in with that, find another site. 

That's what I would do at least...

It's AYTFJ.  You need 75 posts and they aren't included in google searches, but other than that no more secret that any place where thousands of strangers can read your stuff as long as they have 75 posts on a forum.

And the thread where everyone is so super mean to everyone is the specularium.  Which is vastly more chit chat than evil HQ, but mileage varies, I guess.  

[VelociRapture]

On June 13, 2016 at 10:10 AM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Thank you!  I've been asking that for a while now.  I need some kind of pamphlet or something, because I have no idea what I'm being required to believe or what rules I'm supposed to follow.  

I'm wearing a light blue top today.  Is that okay?  How am I supposed to live my life if the great and powerful @Curious won't tell me?

Today? Fine. Tomorrow? No. We wear pink on Wednesdays and sacrifice the dreams of small children to Regina George, our patron Saint of snark.

[AnywhereButHere]

4 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Today? Fine. Tomorrow? No. We wear pink on Wednesdays and sacrifice the dreams of small children to Regina George, our patron Saint of snark.

Oh crap. I don't own anything pink. I make a really sucky minion. I have FAILED! FAILED at my minionhood! 

[Grimalkin]

6 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Today? Fine. Tomorrow? No. We wear pink on Wednesdays and sacrifice the dreams of small children to Regina George, our patron Saint of snark.

Oh good, if you tell me what to wear everyday it's less for me to worry about. I wore a grey T shirt with a cat wearing a party hat. Can't we just get FJ uniforms?

[Palimpsest]

15 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

Oh good, if you tell me what to wear everyday it's less for me to worry about. I wore a grey T shirt with a cat wearing a party hat. Can't we just get FJ uniforms?

We do have FJ T-shirts ... but I can't find the link to FJ loot anymore. 

[OnceUponATime]

34 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

We do have FJ T-shirts ... but I can't find the link to FJ loot anymore. 

at the bottom of the page or http://www.zazzle.com/freejinger

[Palimpsest]

1 minute ago, OnceUponATime said:

at the bottom of the page or http://www.zazzle.com/freejinger

Thanks.  Now I feel stupid! 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

37 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Thanks.  Now I feel stupid! 

It's not on default, which is my favorite theme.  It's my go-to excuse when I can't find stuff.