Baby tests positive for cocaine

[Kailash]

How incredibly selfish. Those parents knew that baby needed help, and still refused blood tests and urine analysis until they were forced to comply. Some people don't understand the concept of sacrifice. If you CHOOSE to do cocaine, then breastfeed, and your baby gets sick- immediately let the medical staff know so that they can help your child. 

I hope the baby recovers. I don't have anything nice to say about the parents.

[MarblesMom]

14 minutes ago, Kailash said:

Some people don't understand the concept of sacrifice.

Parenting requires the utmost of sacrifice.  I really hope the baby is okay and the parents learn how to parent responsibly.

 

[Grimalkin]

14 hours ago, NakedKnees said:

I gotta say, this is tragic and I in no way condone cocaine use by parents/guardians, but I do think it's possible to talk about this without jumping to calling the parents "animals" and "stupid." That's not necessarily "dismissive," just... basically respectful and savvy to the realities of drug use? 

Education surrounding drug use is awful, and even if these parents did have that knowledge background, I would be inclined to think it does a disservice to all the parents that do struggle with drug addiction to not have an iota of respect to a family in this sad situation. There is just so much stigma out there and that way of talking about it does no good at all- I really just don't see the point.

          My biggest problem here is them not allowing the blood tests knowing thier baby was going to test positive. 

        i don't think we are doing a disservice to addicts calling them animals and stupid. Addicts leave a path of destruction in thier wake and hurt many innocent people who do not deserve it. Its not fair or healthy to the victims of addicts to have to sugarcoat and 'just get over it' because we don't want to hurt thier feelings. Any addict seriouse about recovery can aknowledge people's right to be angry and upset, because they realize how thier addiction affected others. That is a necessary part of recovery. If a family has to tiptoe around thier addict and worry about upsetting them and setting them off that is sending big red flags.

       Having said that I would and do support the hell out of people seriouse about recovery. But like I said 'seriouse about recovery'. Drug addiction is devastating to everyone involved in the addicts life.

 

        I also understand where you are coming from and why you feel that way and have been the there myself. I think both side have a right to thier feelings. It's a process.

[devoe364]

2 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

         /snip

        i don't think we are doing a disservice to addicts calling them animals and stupid. Addicts leave a path of destruction in thier wake and hurt many innocent people who do not deserve it. Its not fair or healthy to the victims of addicts to have to sugarcoat and 'just get over it' because we don't want to hurt thier feelings. Any addict seriouse about recovery can aknowledge people's right to be angry and upset, because they realize how thier addiction affected others. That is a necessary part of recovery. If a family has to tiptoe around thier addict and worry about upsetting them and setting them off that is sending big red flags.

  

As someone who is 7 years clean, comments about addicts being animals and stupid, still impact me. They do me, someone in recovery a diservice. I was NOT an animal. I was NOT stupid.

What I was, was isolated, depressed and suffering from an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. So I self medicated. I was in pain, and no one was helping me deal with the pain. Even when I asked for help, I was dismissed as being overly emotional or a cry baby.

So yes, when people talk about addicts being criminals, or losers, or animals or stupid, you are indirectly calling me stupid, an animal, a criminal and loser. I am none of those things, and I was none of those things, even when I was an addict.

I am only one year sober. Name calling (even indirect), is an easy trigger, especially for someone who still struggles with staying sober. 

[bingbangboom]

12 minutes ago, devoe364 said:

As someone who is 7 years clean, comments about addicts being animals and stupid, still impact me. They do me, someone in recovery a diservice. I was NOT an animal. I was NOT stupid.

What I was, was isolated, depressed and suffering from an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. So I self medicated. I was in pain, and no one was helping me deal with the pain. Even when I asked for help, I was dismissed as being overly emotional or a cry baby.

So yes, when people talk about addicts being criminals, or losers, or animals or stupid, you are indirectly calling me stupid, an animal, a criminal and loser. I am none of those things, and I was none of those things, even when I was an addict.

I am only one year sober. Name calling (even indirect), is an easy trigger, especially for someone who still struggles with staying sober. 

Congratulations on 7 years, that is a HUGE accomplishment! You should be proud! 

Sorry, maybe you said one year clean? I'm not sure...either way, congratulations. 

[LadyCrow1313]

8 minutes ago, bingbangboom said:

Congratulations on 7 years, that is a HUGE accomplishment! You should be proud!

I second this. Congratulations!!!

[devoe364]

11 minutes ago, bingbangboom said:

Congratulations on 7 years, that is a HUGE accomplishment! You should be proud! 

Sorry, maybe you said one year clean? I'm not sure...either way, congratulations. 

7 years clean - from oxi.

1 year sober - from alcohol. 

I always refer to clean and sober as different things. Clean is from street drugs or prescription drugs, and sober to me is always about alcohol. 

Its been a tough road!

2 minutes ago, LadyCrow1313 said:

I second this. Congratulations!!!

Thanks! 

[polecat]

16 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

     I just reread this again and what's worse is they knew what was wrong with thier child and refused the blood test. They did not consider that baby's best interest. Whether or not she waited 12 hours or 12 minutes is questionable.

 

 

 

I did a little research and found out that she suffered several miscarriages before having this baby and had a long history of doing cocaine. I can't even comprehend that.

She might have a "nice veneer," but she is just as much an addict as the homeless crack addict begging for your spare change. The only difference is that she's a functional addict with a good job and a pretty exterior (maybe him, too). Bottom line: She/he needs help. And baby needs to be in someone else's custody until she/he can get clean. imo. 

[justwatching]

I know I grew up in a bubble, but I can't even wrap my mind around the fact that baby and cocaine would need to be used in the same sentence.

ETA: Just read the story and the guy's a crime reporter!!  I find that to be ironic.

[devoe364]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

I did a little research and found out that she suffered several miscarriages before having this baby and had a long history of doing cocaine. I can't even comprehend that.

She might have a "nice veneer," but she is just as much an addict as the homeless crack addict begging for your spare change. The only difference is that she's a functional addict with a good job and a pretty exterior (maybe him, too). Bottom line: She/he needs help. And baby needs to be in someone else's custody until she/he can get clean. imo. 

Wow. I know how painful miscarriages can be. I've lost two babies and I wish instead that I had an almost 8 year old and a 6 and a half year old. While I am not defending her choice in regards to her baby (because duh, stupid, and I have not once said that someone on coke should be left caring for a child while they are high), I do understand how painful loss can be and how it can lead you to seek an escape.

My hope here is that the baby is okay, and that the parents get treatment, if they want it, which I think, after this, they hopefully will. 

[NakedKnees]

10 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

          My biggest problem here is them not allowing the blood tests knowing thier baby was going to test positive. 

        i don't think we are doing a disservice to addicts calling them animals and stupid. Addicts leave a path of destruction in thier wake and hurt many innocent people who do not deserve it. Its not fair or healthy to the victims of addicts to have to sugarcoat and 'just get over it' because we don't want to hurt thier feelings. Any addict seriouse about recovery can aknowledge people's right to be angry and upset, because they realize how thier addiction affected others. That is a necessary part of recovery. If a family has to tiptoe around thier addict and worry about upsetting them and setting them off that is sending big red flags.

       Having said that I would and do support the hell out of people seriouse about recovery. But like I said 'seriouse about recovery'. Drug addiction is devastating to everyone involved in the addicts life.

 

        I also understand where you are coming from and why you feel that way and have been the there myself. I think both side have a right to thier feelings. It's a process.

Yeah I get where you're coming from as well. It's not the type of behavior I want to rush to defend, to say the least. 

To each their own, but I know how it feels to make a really bad mistake with substances then "fight or flight" when you get caught and dig a deeper hole in your panic. Obviously, endangering others (especially a baby) makes some mistakes worse than others. Hopefully this is a one-off thing and these two parents will know it as the worst mistake they've ever made and have it be a wake-up call that never should have been needed in the first place.

I guess above all else, given the information we have, I would way rather these parents try get their act together and get help rather than have CPS rush right in and take the baby away (assuming that the baby makes a full recovery, which I truly hope it does/did). 

[NakedKnees]

Well look what just showed up in my Facebook news feed!

http://abc7.com/news/2-tv-personalities-charged-after-babys-positive-cocaine-test/1408603/

It looks like the baby is not staying with them and they are being indicted for child abuse. Intense stuff. I imagine this sort of thing is not uncommon but its only getting so much attention due to them both being reporters.

[polecat]

22 hours ago, NakedKnees said:

I guess above all else, given the information we have, I would way rather these parents try get their act together and get help rather than have CPS rush right in and take the baby away (assuming that the baby makes a full recovery, which I truly hope it does/did). 

 

I don't think it would be a bad thing for CPS to take temporary custody of the baby until this couple can get their stuff together. This child could have died. In a case like this, I'm absolutely all for CPS taking immediate custody. I realize their goal is to keep families together whenever possible (and that's a good goal), but when a child's life is literally at stake ... you don't have the luxury of time. This couple needs help, and the baby needs to be somewhere safe until they can get it. I hope they do.

[Florita]

My daughter is a social worker and worked in the foster care system in Tucson for about 2 years before burning out. Tucson has a huge amount of drug and alcohol abuse cases. Her agency received 1 to 3 meth, crack or heroin addicted newborns a week - and that's just 1 foster care agency out of many. Tucson is so overwhelmed with kids in the system that there are no foster homes available. DCS (Dept. of Child Safety - what AZ calls its CPS) tries to first find kinship placement. Usually they can find someone in the extended family willing and qualified to take the child. If they have to go to a foster placement it is usually in Phoenix.

When an infant is taken away by DCS the parents are given very little time to get their act together before DCS petitions the court for severance because of the psychological issues involved with babies bonding with their caregivers. More time is given for older children.

The agency my daughter worked for handled 100-110 cases at any given time. Of those 20-30% ended with reunification (so 70-80% severance). She said that maybe 3 out of 100 cases didn't involve parental addiction. If you could wave a magic wand and get rid of addiction you could eliminate DCS.

Anyhow, with the couple in question, the baby is probably with its grandparents or an aunt & uncle. Because the couple is charged with child abuse (not neglect) it is likely DCS with petition for immediate severance.

[Grimalkin]

On June 30, 2016 at 9:17 AM, devoe364 said:

As someone who is 7 years clean, comments about addicts being animals and stupid, still impact me. They do me, someone in recovery a diservice. I was NOT an animal. I was NOT stupid.

What I was, was isolated, depressed and suffering from an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. So I self medicated. I was in pain, and no one was helping me deal with the pain. Even when I asked for help, I was dismissed as being overly emotional or a cry baby.

So yes, when people talk about addicts being criminals, or losers, or animals or stupid, you are indirectly calling me stupid, an animal, a criminal and loser. I am none of those things, and I was none of those things, even when I was an addict.

I am only one year sober. Name calling (even indirect), is an easy trigger, especially for someone who still struggles with staying sober. 

      Nobody called you an animal. Nobody said all addicts are animals or losers. These parents were more concearned about themselves getting busted for coke than the health and well being of thier baby.  People seriouse about getting sober take responsibility for thier actions. 

      I have no doubt that you are a nice person and were not stupid or an animal. Over the years I have known alcoholics that I care for very much. Some of them are still drinking.

        The ugly reality is that some addicts do horrible things. Some addicts who are nice people sometimes do horrible things. And while they may be suffering from a disease victims have a right to be mad. I sometimes feel that in a round about way when we say alcoholism/addiction is a disease we are telling people they should put up with bad behavior because of this. 

     lastly, when I was a young child my oldest sister (half sister)was killed by a drunk driver on the eve of Thanksgiving. This man had several prior drunk driving convictions.I realize he has a disease and I am sure he has friends and family that love him and think he is wonderful but My family has the right to call him an animal and be angry. She was 23 and recently graduated college and was just starting her job at a newspaper. This has nothing to do with how I feel about you or any other addict/alcoholic. 

        

          Edited to add: I just reread your post and disagree with the idea that calling an addict that abuses thier child an animal is indirectly calling you the same. I understand this really affects you. 

[devoe364]

      Nobody called you an animal. Nobody said all addicts are animals or losers. These parents were more concearned about themselves getting busted for coke than the health and well being of thier baby.  People seriouse about getting sober take responsibility for thier actions. 

      I have no doubt that you are a nice person and were not stupid or an animal. Over the years I have known alcoholics that I care for very much. Some of them are still drinking.

        The ugly reality is that some addicts do horrible things. Some addicts who are nice people sometimes do horrible things. And while they may be suffering from a disease victims have a right to be mad. I sometimes feel that in a round about way when we say alcoholism/addiction is a disease we are telling people they should put up with bad behavior because of this. 

     lastly, when I was a young child my oldest sister (half sister)was killed by a drunk driver on the eve of Thanksgiving. This man had several prior drunk driving convictions.I realize he has a disease and I am sure he has friends and family that love him and think he is wonderful but My family has the right to call him an animal and be angry. She was 23 and recently graduated college and was just starting her job at a newspaper. This has nothing to do with how I feel about you or any other addict/alcoholic. 

        

          Edited to add: I just reread your post and disagree with the idea that calling an addict that abuses thier child an animal is indirectly calling you the same. I understand this really affects you. 

I'm going to gently ask that you do not share those opinions with anyone who has just become clean or sober. If I weren't seven years strong, those types of comments in person or online would have made me say "Fuck it! Why bother trying if I'm just an animal and a loser? Why put myself through withdrawal if people are still going to think it's not good enough."

In terms of your sister, I am very sorry for your loss. His family probably does love him - just like my family did and does. None of that means they condone his behaviour. My family definitely loved me, but hated my choices and wanted me to get my shit together.

These parents, after reading several stories were clearly more concerned about themselves then their child. That I cannot and will not forgive.

[Grimalkin]

@devoe364 how am I supposed to know if somebody on an online SNARK SITE reading comments on a news article is newly sober or not? 

        Nobody called you an animal or a loser. NOBODY.  If someone drinks because of a random comment online on a news article about a baby being abused, there is something else going on there and they have to stop blaming others. If someone is botherd deeply by a comment perhaps they should step back and do a spot check inventory about why it bothers them. Then discuss it with thier sponsor. Then turn thier thoughts to someone they could help. Realize it's not all about them.  Rinse wash repeat. It's not all about you. (You meaning addict/alcoholic in general) 

[Grimalkin]

I am going to strongly suggest if you ever sponsor people, that you don't go into thier home and tell thier family they have to walk on eggshells and keep sweet to thier alcoholic spouse or parent because you may make them drink, or set them off any anger them.

 

 

 

[MyMilkshake]

Yep, cocaine is a stimulant. No argument there. But that doesn't mean it's going to keep a parent or any other caregiver on top of their game.
 
There's a lot of addiction issues in my family. We have alcoholics, one celebrating over 40 years of sobriety!!, one drank herself to death, and another looks to be heading that way. We love him but we've learned there's nothing we can do to control the outcome or make him make better choices for himself. It's up to him and it's hard to see.

We also have addicts. And I am sorry if this offends anyone, but cocaine IMO is not a drug I can attribute a lot of positives to. I've seen what it does to people I care about. It keeps them up for days. Awake yes, productive, no. Priority 1 is the coke. Everything else gets back burnered. It makes people blather on about shit nonstop. It makes them needy, hungry and desperate and it all usually revolves around the coke. I've seen how paranoid and scheming it can make a normally nice person. Not on top of their game.

I grew up seeing and being around a lot of this shit. And every now and then someone would come around with a new baby looking to buy from someone in the house. And even as a child I thought the parent's priorities were fucked. I'd think, "Why are you here? Go home and tend to your baby!" I'm 44 now and I still feel that way about it,
Sorry, just can't see it as the fun recreational drug others do.

[Chowder Head]

I hate to say this, but this is only news because they were/are white journalist/on tv.  It 's horrible but unfortunately more common than we want to think.

[xlurker]

not so long ago an 18month old little girl died in my neck of the woods.  She had heroin in her system.  If I remember correctly the mother would give it to the child for colick (although that wasn't admitted in court)  It was tragic, and unbelievable that such a thing could happen.  Both the mother and her boyfriend (not the father) are now in prison for a very long time.

[FundieFarmer]

Unfortunately these issues are fairly common in my neck of the woods. We've got a mother and baby hospital in our system with a community care program...in a major metropolitan area. These two got caught, and they should be held accountable. If only other terrible parents were.

[zee_four]

On 6/30/2016 at 8:17 AM, devoe364 said:

As someone who is 7 years clean, comments about addicts being animals and stupid, still impact me. They do me, someone in recovery a diservice. I was NOT an animal. I was NOT stupid.

What I was, was isolated, depressed and suffering from an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. So I self medicated. I was in pain, and no one was helping me deal with the pain. Even when I asked for help, I was dismissed as being overly emotional or a cry baby.

So yes, when people talk about addicts being criminals, or losers, or animals or stupid, you are indirectly calling me stupid, an animal, a criminal and loser. I am none of those things, and I was none of those things, even when I was an addict.

I am only one year sober. Name calling (even indirect), is an easy trigger, especially for someone who still struggles with staying sober. 

I've struggled with opiate addiction for years. Comments degrading addicts and negative judgemental attitudes in general were one of the main reasons I struggled so long and tried to hide my use. It was also a major trigger and after I got clean due to a legal situation the constant judgement and insults and discrimination in the workplace and NY community led to a major relapse. It sucks feeling sub human because of mistakes you made in the past.

[devoe364]

On 7/3/2016 at 6:05 PM, zee_four said:

I've struggled with opiate addiction for years. Comments degrading addicts and negative judgemental attitudes in general were one of the main reasons I struggled so long and tried to hide my use. It was also a major trigger and after I got clean due to a legal situation the constant judgement and insults and discrimination in the workplace and NY community led to a major relapse. It sucks feeling sub human because of mistakes you made in the past.

Thank you. You put it far better then I could.

As a recovering addict, comments about addicts in general affect me far more then they should. That said, I do not sponsor anyone @Grimalkin because apart from a few weeks in dextox/rehab in 2008, I have done this completely on my own.

No meetings. No support groups. No drugs from a doctor to make the process easier. 

So, you might not like my way of doing things, but at least I don't classify those who aren't ready or able to get help as sub-human. 

 

[Grimalkin]

1 hour ago, devoe364 said:

Thank you. You put it far better then I could.

As a recovering addict, comments about addicts in general affect me far more then they should. That said, I do not sponsor anyone @Grimalkin because apart from a few weeks in dextox/rehab in 2008, I have done this completely on my own.

No meetings. No support groups. No drugs from a doctor to make the process easier. 

So, you might not like my way of doing things, but at least I don't classify those who aren't ready or able to get help as sub-human. 

 

        I was not the person who originally made that comment. I defended the person who did. You have taken a comment blown it out of proportion and twisted it to make yourself a victim. Guess what, it's not all about you. 

        I think it is a shame you don't go to meetings or a support group. As difficult as it is to work a program it's worth all the hard work and uncomfortable feelings. I feel you would benifit from working steps because you seem to be holding on to resentment. Resentment and anger is like acid and it will eat away at its own container.Here is something to consider, this happend five days ago and it seems to still really bother you. While this has been bouncing around your head, I have not given it another thought. I went about my business. Five days later you bring it up again, and try to engage me with self righteous indignation. 

              So someone on the internet thinks a woman who accidentally exposed thier baby to cocaine, then did not let the doctors take a blood sample in order to help the baby, because they didn't want to get caught, an animal and you make it about you. That is just another excuse. Some people would say "shit, that could be me if I continue."" Or shit, yeah I did that and don't want anything like that to ever happen again. I am going to do whatever it takes to be better." 

          Take this however you want to take it. It's up to you.