Baby tests positive for cocaine

[HerNameIsBuffy]

15 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

Some crab ideas:

This one could go stealth into the Arndt manboys play room:

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For anyone who needs a Jill Rodrigues rescue, one that coordinates with her eye makeup:

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Crabs are tough. They're not gonna take any shit from Steve, the Nauglers, or PP:

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And if, God forbid, things get ugly, they're ready.

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Brilliant!!  with the expanded rescue team (esp the bad ass with a smoke) there will be no FJer left behind.  My eyes are watering I laughed so hard...best day off ever.

[AliceInFundyland]

We can only stay on topic if people stick around. If they run and hide, well..that's a good call to drift. I am also generally amazed with the organization and speed of Buffy's internet grabbing.

[Grimalkin]

       Imagining an Arendt man boy recoiling in fear as he reaches for his giant Lego brick only to discover a crab is living inside of it made me giggle a bit.

[AliceInFundyland]

I am not able to link well on my phone. But, in the interest of being fair I will say that @devoe364 has pointed out over in the naugler thread that she has not been smoking pot since learning she was pregnant.

No comment on anything else. And, anecdotally she knows lots of people who have done it with no ill effect.

[polecat]

20 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Is there anyway we can diversify our rescue animals?  Ferrets creep me out. 

Also they can't handle all weather.  How about some rescue foxes or those dogs that look like foxes?  

 

Can I interest you in a skunk or two?

[NakedKnees]

I love all of these and am sorry to be such a noob... but are rescue ferrets an in-joke or do they do something for members in rabbit holes? I seriously haven't figured this out in an embarrassing amount of time. I may need to be directed to SOTDRT   

[HerNameIsBuffy]

6 minutes ago, polecat said:

Can I interest you in a skunk or two?

They could be great decoys...

this one runs a home church...

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this one would be unnoticed with all the babies at any ATI conferences...

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this one does bee impressions...

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and of course Doug Phillips.

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Yes, this is what I do when I have a couple days off.

5 minutes ago, NakedKnees said:

I love all of these and am sorry to be such a noob... but are rescue ferrets an in-joke or do they do something for members in rabbit holes? I seriously haven't figured this out in an embarrassing amount of time. I may need to be directed to SOTDRT   

No need to consult a character booklet at the SOTDRT . Ferrets have always been an inside joke here at FJ.  Someone falls down a rabbit hole of heretofore unknown crazy and forgets to eat, sleep, come up for air the ferrets are sent to bring them safely home.

then some weirdness started during some point of tension about a team of thousands ...with little outfits for their specially missions.

(all ferrets and other animals are structurally virtual and none will be harmed in their important missions.  )

its bled into my real life in odd ways.  I reorganized the pantry the other day and when I started I sighed and told my husband if I wasn't done in an hour to send ferrets.  I then had to explain making me realize when you try to bring these references into the real world you sound like a big weirdo.

[MyMilkshake]

Rescue animals/marine/ aquatic/ other life I'd love to see join the team:

Frogs
Bearded dragons
Porcupines
Beaver
Octopus
 

[Roux]

May I suggest rescue pigs? One of the best pets I've ever had. Smart and cuddly (if you don't mind the course hair). It would also give Wilberina from the Naugler thread an escape route.

[SpoonfulOSugar]

I have decided I will no longer interact with humans.

I'll be out back training the rescue teams.  I think I like them better.

[polecat]

23 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

They could be great decoys...

this one runs a home church...

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this one would be unnoticed with all the babies at any ATI conferences...

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this one does bee impressions...

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and of course Doug Phillips.

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Yes, this is what I do when I have a couple days off.

No need to consult a character booklet at the SOTDRT . Ferrets have always been an inside joke here at FJ.  Someone falls down a rabbit hole of heretofore unknown crazy and forgets to eat, sleep, come up for air the ferrets are sent to bring them safely home.

then some weirdness started during some point of tension about a team of thousands ...with little outfits for their specially missions.

(all ferrets and other animals are structurally virtual and none will be harmed in their important missions.  )

its bled into my real life in odd ways.  I reorganized the pantry the other day and when I started I sighed and told my husband if I wasn't done in an hour to send ferrets.  I then had to explain making me realize when you try to bring these references into the real world you sound like a big weirdo.

 

Marry me.

 

ALSO MOAR SKUNK.

 

See: Username.

 

I may have issues.

16 minutes ago, MyMilkshake said:

Rescue animals/marine/ aquatic/ other life I'd love to see join the team:

Frogs
Bearded dragons
Porcupines
Beaver
Octopus
 

 

I never knew how utterly charming porcupines could be until I saw Teddy Bear on youtube. I was smitten. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGz8jcbJjRw

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

16 minutes ago, MyMilkshake said:

Rescue animals/marine/ aquatic/ other life I'd love to see join the team:

Frogs
Bearded dragons
Porcupines
Beaver
Octopus
 

if you're not even going to read my octopus post I'm just wounded - sigh

And I am NOT googling anything about beavers in silly costumes! 

[SpoonfulOSugar]

I do believe several of the ferrets have names . . . Grappa and ? Cognac ?

[Grimalkin]

28 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

 

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and of course Doug Phillips.

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       This Doug Phillips skunk stands like he is hung like a giant squid.

There are also mystical orange penus ferrets.

[Palimpsest]

28 minutes ago, NakedKnees said:

I love all of these and am sorry to be such a noob... but are rescue ferrets an in-joke or do they do something for members in rabbit holes? I seriously haven't figured this out in an embarrassing amount of time. I may need to be directed to SOTDRT   

Yes, they are very much an in joke.  There is an official explanation somewhere but I can't find it right now.  It all started with Miss Raquel's magical orange penis ferret (TM) back on yuku and sort of morphed from there.

When a member falls down a particularly long rabbit hole of Fundie-ism we offer to strap the beverage and snacks of your choice to the Rescue Ferrets and send them after you to guide you out.  

As @SpoonfulOSugar said - at one point there were two called Grappa and Cognac - but apparently ferrets don't breed like Fundies because we are having to supplement them with other species.

 

s

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Porcupines were quick to sign up...civic minded and glad for the influx of jobs...

the market has been kind of prickly for them lately.

I'll be here all night....tip the waitstaff!

blend in with the flowered headband crowd...

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ready for chillier climates...

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The porcupine who is the ultimate gentleman's gentleman (and if @nelliebelle1197 doesn't get they reference I'll cry).  His name is Giles.

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the musical type who would fit right in with an RV riding green eyeliner wearing love offering collecting annoyance machine...

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this little guy is all about homesteading...

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for our euro rabbit holes he comes straight from my fatherland...(I think...idk hat looks vaugly German)

 

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He volunteered for South America because as we know it's all on culture and dressed like this the Dillard's would totally mistake him for a local...

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for the rarely talked about circus fundies...

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and a couple of partiers who are looking for a fresh start with some gainful employment...Party On

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It's been brought to my attention that porcupines and hedgehogs aren't the same thing....and these liars all misrepresented themselves as porcupines to get a shot at the job.

i don't know...so we throw out all their applications...give them a second chance?  Need to think about this.

lesson learned ...next time we check w ids.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

We ran the species background check before on boarding these guys...no more lobster hedgehog like imposters.

skirts only..although kinda Nike...

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Grandpa in Florida...perfect for Keller inhabited rabbit holes...although I bet this guy could pick better husbands for his daughters...

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dressed for a tea for ladies who lunch...Buell Phillips will swear she was in her sorority...

 

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gothard wants them to infiltrate all areas of society...well this older gentleman is primed blend in as a railroad baron or venture capitalist...

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surely a patriarch needs a Mr. French... 

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so hollywood even Mike Seaver wouldn't suspect a thing...

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underwater missions every day...

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and special occasion....

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no amount of Nike shouts could make them look away...ain't nothing on but her boots, baby...

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no gender neutral clothes to give her away...

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if the fundies take to the high seas we're prepared (my money is on John Shrader)...

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nothing more fundy than a damsel in distress...(is it werid want a hat like that?)

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blending into the forest we w free range rabbit...for the grid fundies...

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over in Ireland home of the Zsu humper...(outfit is authentic.  My mom's family hails from county Cork and we all dress exactly like this.)

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and we've called this ones mom to see if she'll sign a work permit.  Application pending.

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[HerNameIsBuffy]

Frogs are a no go.  Problem is they tend to be very fundy like ...the arrogance and male suriprority.  Since the day they're born they're told they are Prince Charming just waiting for a (wedding day) kiss from their one true love so they can claim their birthright.  Or they are full on rebels who won't blend in even if mission critical.

theyre either this...

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or this...

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frogs don't do middle ground real well.

 

 

 

[Grimalkin]

Mr. French just looks lecherous to me. I don't like to judge by looks but he just creeps me out.

[nausicaa]

1 hour ago, SpoonfulOSugar said:

I do believe several of the ferrets have names . . . Grappa and ? Cognac ?

Yes! Grappa and Cognac.( I have really committed to them having these names and evangelize about it wherever I can on FJ. See: my location).

Also @HerNameIsBuffy, I hate to break it to you, but you had some badgers trick you into thinking they're skunks, and half of your porcupines are actually hedgehogs pulling the wool over your eyes. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, nausicaa said:

Yes! Grappa and Cognac.( I have really committed to them having these names and evangelize about it wherever I can on FJ. See: my location).

Also @HerNameIsBuffy, I hate to break it to you, but you had some badgers trick you into thinking they're skunks, and half of your porcupines are actually hedgehogs pulling the wool over your eyes. 

I know - HR is fired.  But fortunately we are full up and no longer hiring so we can just double check the current boot camp class and move on to training.

Seriosuly having soemthing silly to do while watching Poopistan has helped my mood tremendously.

[nelliebelle1197]

@HerNameIsBuffy Just Hush

And Mr. French needs a Buffy and Jody!

[DaisyD]

On 7/6/2016 at 2:23 PM, Grimalkin said:

      You know you are right. We don't know if they are recreational users or not. When someone called them animals for knowingly endangering that baby you told them it was offensive to you as a person in recovery. They were reacting to what these people did. Would it be okay to say that if they were recreational users? We can't criticize thier actions because they are addicts? That was my point. 

@devoe364 would you be okay if I sent you a pm?        

I humbly submit that when I went through recovery as a teenager there was a very clear distinction made between who a person is and what they have done (this was expressed both to addicts and their loved ones). A person had to be allowed to live down their past through hard work. This not to say they weren't responsible for their actions and whatever consequences those actions resulted in. The difference (at least to me) is saying someone is an animal or saying they are behaving like an animal. That being said, expecting those that haven't been through it to understand the difference is too much to ask most of the time. Calmly explaining why it's hurtful is usually more productive than getting upset.

I would also venture a guess that devoe may be experiencing the effects of early pregnancy hormone swings. That is not meant to negate her feelings on the issue. I just know how I was when pregnant and I'm glad people were patient with me. I also have anxiety issues. I'm not sure if that contributed for me, but I recognize the possibility.

On 7/7/2016 at 0:16 PM, ClaraOswin said:

Just saw this post about these two unfit parents. I have a hard time finding any sympathy for these two. In my opinion, they are currently unfit to be parents. They need help to get clean (which unfortunately should have happened BEFORE they had a child, but I know it's a long and difficult road for people.) I hope the child is in the care of responsible adults. I have no tolerance for drug use when there are children in your care. 

This is beautifully stated. I completely agree.

On 7/7/2016 at 9:11 PM, Grimalkin said:

    I want to heat a hiking goat story please. 

      I also want to second the rescue octopus nomination. Octopi are among my faveorit marine life and happen to be very smart. 

     

You can keep the octopi. One tried to kill me as a child. (Okay, maybe he was in a touch tank and wanted a closer look at me, but it scared the crap out of me.)

I meant to add that you can send the hedgehogs. They smell better than ferrets anyway. 

[NakedKnees]

7 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

They could be great decoys...

this one runs a home church...

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<img class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" data-fileid="16908" data-unique="bw9vvy9ud" src="http://www.freejinger.org/uploads/monthly_2016_07/image.jpeg.52634f9638bd287cdf85693d20f210f4.jpeg" alt="image.jpeg">

this one would be unnoticed with all the babies at any ATI conferences...

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<img class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" data-fileid="16905" data-unique="d04546x1e" src="http://www.freejinger.org/uploads/monthly_2016_07/image.jpeg.e1bcb0a7cf377f2453207771c8799d93.jpeg" alt="image.jpeg">

this one does b

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<img class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" data-fileid="16906" data-unique="dc8zp7yf3" src="http://www.freejinger.org/uploads/monthly_2016_07/image.jpeg.84cc31b0d295d1032408a83bab4dea9e.jpeg" alt="image.jpeg">

 

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<img class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" data-fileid="16907" data-unique="d8uphbjdf" src="http://www.freejinger.org/uploads/monthly_2016_07/image.jpeg.375cb8dd5067d3c2a867b37d247e105e.jpeg" alt="image.jpeg">

Yes, this is what I do when I have a couple days off.

No need to consult a character booklet at the SOTDRT . Ferrets have always been an inside joke here at FJ.  Someone falls down a rabbit hole of heretofore unknown crazy and forgets to eat, sleep, come up for air the ferrets are sent to bring them safely home.

then some weirdness started during some point of tension about a team of thousands ...with little outfits for their specially missions.

(all ferrets and other animals are structurally virtual and none will be harmed in their important missions.  )

its bled into my real life in odd ways.  I reorganized the pantry the other day and when I started I sighed and told my husband if I wasn't done in an hour to send ferrets.  I then had to explain making me realize when you try to bring these references into the real world you sound like a big weirdo.

Thank you @HerNameIsBuffy and @Palimpsest! I love viewing them as ferrets just because of the orange penile potential, but am excited to see some octopus ones at some point... although God forbid a fundie drags eleventy kids onto a boat and makes them necessary

[DaisyD]

There's always Scientology for the marine rescuers. L. Ron lived on a boat for ages.