Lori Alexander 32: Breastfeeding Begets Boners

[Seahorse Wrangler]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

They don't fit her fairytale narrative. She is a female misogynist...and in her mind women are ALWAYS at fault...Personally I think she needs a swift kick in the ass...with steel toed boots...worn by a woman. 

The sheer malice she exudes would corrode the steel if they got to within one hundred paces of her ass.

[Hane]

Whoa, boy.

i just got home from a dinner commemorating the 40th anniversary of my city’s domestic violence task force. The stories women shared would make your hair stand on end. 

The keynote speaker was a stunning young woman, a former Miss Connecticut and a local news anchor. I thought she was just a pretty face—until she started to speak. She had come up through poverty and sexual abuse. Her objective in entering the Miss America pageant was to have a platform for domestic and sexual violence issues. And she was instrumental in helping write and promote laws and law-enforcement practices designed to protect victims of intimate-partner violence. She had spent years doing volunteer work for our task force.

But Lori would just dismiss this organization’s four decades of hard work as “a hotel for runaway wives” (which is what some people called it back at its inception).  Fuck her and her ilk.

[Sarah92]

Having just participated in Take Back the Night, a night where people stand against interpersonal violence, I can't help but reflect on the harm that is done to individuals when the church ignore their situations. They go to the church looking for answers and all too often the sword of Scripture is  wielded against them. We can do sooo much better then that  

My father always told me "Dumb (innocent/child-like ignorance) is something you are, stupid (willful ignorance) is something you choose to be. Some people have chosen to be stupid. Posting the link for anyone interested. 

https://takebackthenight.org/ 

[Hane]

@Sarah92, I was heartened to see how many clergy attended our DV task force anniversary. The president of its board of directors is a woman minister.

[Demonfan]

My town does a week's worth of Take Back The Night events every year. The town center is lit up with purple lights. Lori just enrages me on behalf of those women who are in need of help, and she dismisses them, and blames them.  I don't want to call it hate speech and diminish what is actually hate speech, but it is dangerous and damaging.

[Sarah92]

30 minutes ago, Hane said:

@Sarah92, I was heartened to see how many clergy attended our DV task force anniversary. The president of its board of directors is a woman minister.

Wow that's so awesome! It makes me so happy to read stuff like that. I actually attend a Seminary and so I was really excited to see them and the undergrads take steps to support victims of interpersonal violence. The president of the school was even there so it meant a lot. There are more churches getting on board and I hope that number continues to rise. 

5 minutes ago, Demonfan said:

My town does a week's worth of Take Back The Night events every year. The town center is lit up with purple lights. Lori just enrages me on behalf of those women who are in need of help, and she dismisses them, and blames them.  I don't want to call it hate speech and diminish what is actually hate speech, but it is dangerous and damaging.

I wish we could get the entire town on board. This is our very first year doing it so its all very new. We did do a weeks worth of events or informational handouts. It was a small but mighty crowd for our event tonight. 

I've been tempted to report it as hate speech or I wish Facebook had a feature that allowed a page to be reported and the reporter say why instead of picking from the few options they have.  I can't imagine Facebook wanting someone who deletes suicide hotline numbers to continue posting. But damaging is right! Every time I read a comment that talks about changing to Lori's way my heart breaks a little. 

[feministxtian]

When my X threw me and my kids out on the street like yesterday's garbage, i went to my parish priest. His "idea"? Go back and submit more, control the children better and not give the asshole a reason to mistreat me or the kids. Fucker still talks shit about me 20 years later...

[fundamentallyfearless]

I think Lori is worse than a female misogynist. She’s advocated AGAINST human rights, and it wasn’t just about women... I cannot fathom how she tolerates other people if she hates the idea of “human rights” so much. Then again, how does anyone tolerate her...? I wonder that about many of the fundie people in my life. They seem incapable of maintaining even the most basic of civil connections with those that are considered “outsiders”...

[louisa05]

7 hours ago, feministxtian said:

When my X threw me and my kids out on the street like yesterday's garbage, i went to my parish priest. His "idea"? Go back and submit more, control the children better and not give the asshole a reason to mistreat me or the kids. Fucker still talks shit about me 20 years later...

Several years ago, the Archdiocese of Omaha put an emphasis on domestic violence awareness--I want to say it was around 15 years ago. All employees (this would encompass all administrative employees, school employees, parish employees, priests and religious, right down to support staff such as school paraprofessionals and church and school secretaries, janitors and maintenance staff) had to attend a domestic violence awareness workshop. Submission as an excuse or solution was not included anywhere in the materials we were given. 

 Parishes in the U.S are expected to have information and support  available for victims. Priests and staff are expected to have plans to help anyone who comes to them. And phone numbers and info for domestic violence shelters are available in the bathrooms at parishes--that being a safe space where victims can access it without the partner knowing. 

You came across an uneducated priest who was ignoring the mandates of his bishops as this is an area that the USCCB addressed as early as 1992 and they firmly say that using submission to justify abuse is taking passages out of context and a misuse of scripture. Link: 

http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/marriage/domestic-violence/when-i-call-for-help.cfm

[Koala]

Here we go with the Proverbs 31 nonsense (again).  Geez, seems like God could have made things a lot easier for his mouthpiece Lori, by simply leaving that out.

Lori starts by telling us what a made-up woman would do.  Perfect.  We're off to a great start:

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There is no way this made-up woman in the Bible who represents godliness would leave her children every day for many hours a day for mammon (money)

Sitting in her million dollar plus house, The Frugal Mentor writes:

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God spoke mostly negatively about money in His Word and positively about children.

Speaking of "made-up" things:

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A woman with a career is making her boss the one she is in submission under. The Proverbs 31 woman was only under submission to her husband. 

Actually, Proverbs 31: 10-31 mentions exactly NOTHING about submission.  Not one word.  

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 She most likely (although remember she is a made up woman) did most everything with her children at her side teaching and training them in the ways of the Lord. 

Lori, your lack of knowledge is NOT God's way of telling you that he wants you to make up something that lines up with your belief system, and then present it to your readers as TRUTH!

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Probably since lives don’t demand hard work in order to survive in wealthy states.

 Mmmkay.  Thanks for that word salad, Teacher Lori.

Seriously, can anyone figure out what she's trying to say, here?

Lori just needs to let the Proverbs 31 thing go.   Maybe let Ken ride in on The Horse of TRUTH and explain that God was wrong to allow it to be in the Bible "anyways".  

 

[Loveday]

Today's post has been up for a grand total of fifteen minutes so far and already has 13 likes. Did these people even READ her post or did they just automatically hit the button? 

[EowynW]

My mom taught me that too. About how you really shouldn't work because then you'd be under a boss but only your husband should be your boss. Bullshit. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

22 minutes ago, Koala said:

There is no way this made-up woman in the Bible who represents godliness would leave her children every day for many hours a day for mammon (money)

Yeah, darn that money. God forbid women need money for food, for survival. How selfish that a woman work for money. And like you point out...as she sits in her million dollar home. Lori has no clue the value of a dollar. She has never really had to work for money. To her money literally grows on trees right next to the oranges in backyard.

[feministxtian]

2 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Several years ago, the Archdiocese of Omaha put an emphasis on domestic violence awareness--I want to say it was around 15 years ago. All employees (this would encompass all administrative employees, school employees, parish employees, priests and religious, right down to support staff such as school paraprofessionals and church and school secretaries, janitors and maintenance staff) had to attend a domestic violence awareness workshop. Submission as an excuse or solution was not included anywhere in the materials we were given. 

 Parishes in the U.S are expected to have information and support  available for victims. Priests and staff are expected to have plans to help anyone who comes to them. And phone numbers and info for domestic violence shelters are available in the bathrooms at parishes--that being a safe space where victims can access it without the partner knowing. 

You came across an uneducated priest who was ignoring the mandates of his bishops as this is an area that the USCCB addressed as early as 1992 and they firmly say that using submission to justify abuse is taking passages out of context and a misuse of scripture. Link: 

http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/marriage/domestic-violence/when-i-call-for-help.cfm

The Diocese of Evansville Indiana was probably about 20 years behind in 1997.

[Koala]

Life did Lori a great disservice by handing her so many things on a silver platter.  It spoiled her pure rotten. 

It's good for a person to know that a limitless supply of material wealth doesn't just appear out of the blue.  It's good for a person to know how to empathize with others.  

Lori has none of that.  She's just a spoiled princess, who likes to be right, and likes to control others.

[Sarah92]

So one made up women supposedly not working away from her children mean presents day women can't do so?  And Lori, this women was portrayed as fairly wealthy, she had this evil money. She had servants. And anyways from what I know of Jewish belief (need to research further) Proverbs 31 is a representation of what a women should be: hard working, compassionate, dedicated to family etc. A working mother can represent this. If some of the women in our society and history hadn't done what they've done we would be missing so much.

The Bible is living and active it doesn't remain stagnant. I think the thing that's great about Christianity is that it can be beautifully cross cultural and leaves room for different people to come together in unity. Lori acts as if the Bible isn't alive and as if God didn't make that room for growth. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Some clarification please regarding this idea women can't work because then they are in submission to their bosses, not their husbands.  

If a man is working, he usually has a boss, and as such has to do what the boss says -- in other words been in submission to the boss -- to another man. 

But submission to man is what women are supposed to do.  Men are supposed to be in command, be leaders.  If a man is in submission to his boss, he's not in command, not a leader........ And if he has more than 1 job he's in submission to more than 1 man.

So then isn't he taking a woman's role in the employer - employee relationship? Acting like a woman by being in submission? I thought godly fundie men were never supposed to do anything a women does.  Which is why men aren't supposed to "help" around the house or help raise their children.

Fundies confuse me.

 

[fundamentallyfearless]

@Koala says it all I think. Lori DOES NOT know the value of money. She does not know how to handle being wrong, other than to erase all existence of her mistakes through deleting posts that elicit dissent even from her most loyal of - leg humpers - I mean followers...

What’s funny about the boss/submission stuff is that I work in a woman-dominated field. So few men are behavior therapists in my experience. My only bosses are WOMEN. And they are actually very godly and are older than I am. So... I’m just following their example  

[Sarah92]

11 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Some clarification please regarding this idea women can't work because then they are in submission to their bosses, not their husbands.  

If a man is working, he usually has a boss, and as such has to do what the boss says -- in other words been in submission to the boss -- to another man. 

But submission to man is what women are supposed to do.  Men are supposed to be in command, be leaders.  If a man is in submission to his boss, he's not in command, not a leader........ And if he has more than 1 job he's in submission to more than 1 man.

So then isn't he taking a woman's role in the employer - employee relationship? Acting like a woman by being in submission? I thought godly fundie men were never supposed to do anything a women does.  Which is why men aren't supposed to "help" around the house or help raise their children.

Fundies confuse me.

 

I've never actually thought about that point before. Hmmmm might be another place where that stuff all breaks down. But they'd probably say as long as they're leaders in their own home it should be fine. As long as women always stay at the bottom everything's fine ugh

[fundamentallyfearless]

@Sarah92 I keep forgetting to say AMEN SISTA to all of your posts. So here: AMEN SISTA!!!! 

In regards to leg humpers... I went to Lindy’s Facebook page. Yuck. Seriously. Why do people who proclaim to be Christians try to use FEAR against others? I do not care how a person becomes a Christian, I am just always proud of them for doing so. Asking Jesus into our hearts is not a sin. The Bible frequently mentions our hearts and the state of them. I always ask Jesus to be in my heart and influence my actions towards God’s will... THAT IS NOT SIN!!!! Lindy and Lori and others like them are so uncertain of their own faith that they feel the need to make others question their own... WHYYYYY

Additionally, I do believe there is an appropriate time and place for people to examine their faith with scrutiny. But that takes time and can be emotionally draining. I think that should always be self-motivated and NOT caused by others like Lindy. She is literally being a stumbling block to the faith of others. Stop that nonsense Lindy and Lori!

[LizzieDawn]

44 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

So one made up women supposedly not working away from her children mean presents day women can't do so?  And Lori, this women was portrayed as fairly wealthy, she had this evil money. She had servants. And anyways from what I know of Jewish belief (need to research further) Proverbs 31 is a representation of what a women should be: hard working, compassionate, dedicated to family etc. A working mother can represent this. If some of the women in our society and history hadn't done what they've done we would be missing so much.

The Bible is living and active it doesn't remain stagnant. I think the thing that's great about Christianity is that it can be beautifully cross cultural and leaves room for different people to come together in unity. Lori acts as if the Bible isn't alive and as if God didn't make that room for growth. 

And the thing is, it's not even really necessary to argue that the Bible is living in terms of its message.  It obviously depicts a time when the ways people earned their living were different than today.  A whole lot more people were farmers, fishermen, weavers, etc.  But the Bible presents, in a positive light, women in a very wide variety of roles outside their homes.  I won't bore you all with a long list, but there are a whole lot of them, and not once does the Bible say that they neglected their womanly duties, as far as I remember.  When Jesus talked about a woman who was working hard getting her home ready for guests and a woman who was learning from him, which did he approve of?  Shouldn't he have said, "Well, Mary, your sister wisely knows that women should only be concerned with homemaking and serving the men."

Lori repeatedly cites exactly one passage as support for her idea that women shouldn't work, a passage that says older women should teach younger women to be guardians of their home.   Not that they couldn't work outside their homes.  If she wants to say that it's better for small kids to have mom with them all day, fine.  Say that.  Don't pretend it's a command from God.  Of course, she needs to believe that not being gainfully employed, with no small children at home, makes her morally superior.   

[Florita]

Lori sez:

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She most likely (although remember she is a made up woman) did most everything with her children at her side teaching and training them in the ways of the Lord. She taught them to work hard and to live simply

Um, no. The Proverbs 31 woman describes the attributes suitable for a queen. Remember verse 1?

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The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.

Proverbs 31 is advice from a queen mother to her son (the king) on how he should govern (verses 1-9) and the duties and attributes of a good queen/wife (verses 10-31).

Royalty in most cultures, does very little hands-on "training" of its children. They hire people for that.  And why would a queen be expected to "live simply"? King Lemuel is King Solomon - the richest and wisest man to ever live.

Lori is peddling her own version of Proverbs 31 based on the Angel in the House myth and not what the Bible clearly says.

[fundamentallyfearless]

FJ has literally saved my sanity. I found Lori when I was already struggling because of emotional and spiritual abuse from my in-laws, but she brought me to a whole new low too. Finding FJ was like “OHMYGOSH IT’S NORMAL PEOPLE” because I was beginning to think I was the crazy one. Granted, I’m not perfect. But I do expect people to be decent humans to me and so many times fundies find loop holes and reasons to give guilt trips and instill fear when really... GOD IS LOVE. *drops mic*

I read the FJ Lori thread for months before chiming in and I’m glad I did 

[Koala]

1 hour ago, fundamentallyfearless said:

I went to Lindy’s Facebook page. Yuck. Seriously. Why do people who proclaim to be Christians try to use FEAR against others?

They are so damn negative, I don't know how they stand themselves.  Constantly on one rant or another about how horrible women are, how other people "think" they are Christians, and how everyone (except them, of course) falls short.

Lindsay (from Lindsay's Logic) is another one.  She has a whole FB rant on how we should bring shaming back.  Seriously.  

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It's time we re-implemented societal shaming. Without it, we have only two options - let people do whatever they want, no matter how stupid or destructive, or bring in government to regulate their lives. Societal shaming is a great, less invasive way to influence people's behavior without government laws which violate their rights. If only it weren't so politically incorrect.

People should be ashamed of bad behavior, especially when it is destructive to others or to society. They should be expected to live respectable lives of healthy choices and contribute to society or else face disapproval from their peers. We don't need government to make laws to regulate every facet of our existence if we will work as a society to elevate expectations and encourage people (rather than force them at government gunpoint) to behave as rational and decent beings.

A lot of the problems in our society could be largely solved if we hadn't limited ourselves to either a completely hands-off approach or making heavy-handed laws.

Too many women having children out of wedlock? It's terrible for the children and terrible for society. It leads to high school dropouts, gangs, drugs, crime, even more children born out of wedlock, abuse of women and children, and lots of emotional pain, among other things. The studies are clear that it is harmful.

But should be made it illegal? Should people have to get government permission to bear a child or be punished by government for having a child without being married? Of course not. People have an inalienable right to procreate as they choose and government does not have any more right to tell a person that they can't have a child than you or I do individually. Nor would that solution be feasible without the kind of draconian measures, heavy fines, and forced abortions you find in China, all of which violate human rights.

So, how do we solve this problem? Given the current taboo on shaming, we default to doing nothing while children are deprived of fathers and society goes to hell in an handbasket. Yet shaming worked for centuries as a very effective deterrent on out-of-wedlock childbearing without requiring government intervention. Maybe it's time we revisited it.

Lori has posted (favorably) of shaming as well, once asking a reader "when shame became such a bad thing".

I don't know how any of them manage to develop a following.

 

[smittykins]

2 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Some clarification please regarding this idea women can't work because then they are in submission to their bosses, not their husbands.  

If a man is working, he usually has a boss, and as such has to do what the boss says -- in other words been in submission to the boss -- to another man. 

But submission to man is what women are supposed to do.  Men are supposed to be in command, be leaders.  If a man is in submission to his boss, he's not in command, not a leader........ And if he has more than 1 job he's in submission to more than 1 man.

So then isn't he taking a woman's role in the employer - employee relationship? Acting like a woman by being in submission? I thought godly fundie men were never supposed to do anything a women does.  Which is why men aren't supposed to "help" around the house or help raise their children.

Fundies confuse me.

 

Isn’t that the main reason why IBLP men usually have their own businesses, so that don’t have to submit to a heathen, the “wrong kind” of Christian, or—Rufus forbid—a woman?