Jana Duggar 16: Living in a Tiny House in Daddy's Backyard, Married, and Moving to Nebraska

[Expectopatronus]

I have definitely lost my patience with my daughter. I know how I should parent but I unfortunately get frustrated with her. She’s hardcore into the phase of arguing everything I say, responding with “why” to everything including “come on, Sweetheart, lunch time”, “Would you like to go to the splash pad?” and “let’s get your shoes so we can go to the park”. She’s also into repeating one word ad nauseam ie”milk, milky, milky, milk, milk etc” she can keep it up for a 30 minute car ride once she’s finished the cup of milk we brought. She’s also a big fan of “hungry, hungry, hungry” for 30 minutes at 2:00 am. 

[Cults-r-us]

48 minutes ago, Expectopatronus said:

I have definitely lost my patience with my daughter. I know how I should parent but I unfortunately get frustrated with her. She’s hardcore into the phase of arguing everything I say, responding with “why” to everything including “come on, Sweetheart, lunch time”, “Would you like to go to the splash pad?” and “let’s get your shoes so we can go to the park”. She’s also into repeating one word ad nauseam ie”milk, milky, milky, milk, milk etc” she can keep it up for a 30 minute car ride once she’s finished the cup of milk we brought. She’s also a big fan of “hungry, hungry, hungry” for 30 minutes at 2:00 am. 

 

I, too, had. Difficult child. She is now 30yo and I wish I could tell you things get better. I don't know how old your child is, but sometimes ADD meds can help with oppositional behavior. Take care of yourself because dealing with a difficult child is a wild ride.

     A lady at church told a story she was horrified a mother told her child to "shut up!" at Walmart after the mother told the child to quit singing and the child continued to sing. Dontchaknow a child singing is wonderful?

     Guess what? A child who will not quit singing isn't wonderful. My granddaughter can sing for an hour in the car and we are all saying STFU! The more people ask her to quit, the longer and louder she sings. Children thrive on negative attention. Despite the fact we would like to reinforce how wonderful she plays the quiet game.

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

On 7/13/2024 at 8:26 PM, CaptainFunderpants said:

Yup, this is 100% it. It's also about making healthy choices, resisting the urge to buy something I really don't need (I work hard to not have a vice, but if I did it would definitely be shopping), doing chores when I've mentally told myself I will despite the fact that I've had a long day at work... All of those bits of self care that are important, but not necessarily fun.

I mean, yes, there is the factor of when someone does something mean or to irritate me, a little boost of "them being a jerk has nothing to do with you, let it go," can be helpful, and the reality is... Except for Jesus and @WatchingTheTireFireBurn, no one is perfect... I'm definitely not, and as such I'll take my innocuous ring to assist me in my unperfect existence.

Yeah...ok....so I commented that this isn't something I "get"  and the implication here is that I'm a jerk and think really highly of myself.

mm..ok. I actually have what appears to be a different working notion of "good person" vs "bad person" than what some of you have. Which still appears to me to be coming out of a judeo-christian concept of good/bad/good/sin based on some of the additional comments. 

I mean I try to not go around calling anybody names for expressing a viewpoint or gang up on somebody who has different views. But...sure. have fun. 

[dawn9476]

What Job is Jana talking about? Admin for Jason's construction company? She mentioned something going out job sites so I was thinking she probably does admin stuff and maybe some light contraction work.

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

On 7/13/2024 at 12:16 PM, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

I don't need a daily reminder to be a good person because I am not constantly tempted to be a bad person. Is this something people struggle with? Maybe it's a christian thing. 

Ok, I'll chime in... The way I took this, from my perspective... I'm a good person, try to be nice to everybody but if ya do something... F that lol My ex bf, is a bad person, really bad, though (part of the confusion, mindF) could be sweet and thoughtful. But essentially, a bad person. Also, I don't go to church anymore, but I agree with you on that point, too; others non-xtians would have this mindset too, but I don't think you were off base. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I watched Jana’s very boring tiny house tour so you all don’t have to bother. She does have it all organized and laid out well. As I watched, I realized that I dress way more modestly than Jana and I’m not a Christian or religious at all. Her shorts were actually shorter than my usual summer shorts. And her top was basically a sleeveless shirt. And I always have a short sleeve on my shirts in summer. Who would have though there would be a day when mama wears short shorts. But here we are. I noticed she’s right by the basketball court. So she’s very close to the main house. It’s sad to me that she couldn’t live farther away from home. If she’s finally doing a home tour now, maybe she has an announcement soon. Like she will be moving out of it and getting married. I’m sure one of the younger boys like Jackson would want Jana’s house once she moves out. 

[clueliss]

The video before this one was taken some time ago as well.  

[Bassett Lady]

On 7/14/2024 at 12:41 AM, AussieKrissy said:

Her dress def looks like a bridesmaids one or one that is being reused after being a bridesmaid

I took a final, in college, wearing a bridesmaid dress. It was the only clean thing left in my closet. I had worn it over Spring Break in a friend’s wedding. 
 

It was a bubble gum pink gown with giant poof sleeves, scratchy silver lace, and silver piping. It looked like a bad acid trip and a bottle of Pepto Bismol had a baby, but it didn’t smell like armpits, feet, or crotch, so it was the winner! I didn’t have any clean underwear so I wore a bathing suit 👙under the dress as lingerie. 
 

After that final I went to the laundromat, still in the pink taffeta monstrosity, to wash all of my clothes before I packed them up and moved out for summer. 
 

Good times. 
 

So, I don’t feel like I can be too snooty about Jana doing manual labor in a raspberry bridesmaid dress, but I do worry about the safety of her flutter serves and long skirt in a construction zone. 
 

It was a Physics final and my very proper professor, originally from India, thanked me for dressing up for my important final. He was a wonderful professor and a sweet man, but he struggled to grasp American social norms even more than I did. 

Edited July 16 by Bassett Lady

[patsymae]

23 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

I have definitely lost my patience with my daughter. I know how I should parent but I unfortunately get frustrated with her. She’s hardcore into the phase of arguing everything I say, responding with “why” to everything including “come on, Sweetheart, lunch time”, “Would you like to go to the splash pad?” and “let’s get your shoes so we can go to the park”. She’s also into repeating one word ad nauseam ie”milk, milky, milky, milk, milk etc” she can keep it up for a 30 minute car ride once she’s finished the cup of milk we brought. She’s also a big fan of “hungry, hungry, hungry” for 30 minutes at 2:00 am. 

how old is she?

 

[Expectopatronus]

22 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

I, too, had. Difficult child. She is now 30yo and I wish I could tell you things get better. I don't know how old your child is, but sometimes ADD meds can help with oppositional behavior. Take care of yourself because dealing with a difficult child is a wild ride.

     A lady at church told a story she was horrified a mother told her child to "shut up!" at Walmart after the mother told the child to quit singing and the child continued to sing. Dontchaknow a child singing is wonderful?

     Guess what? A child who will not quit singing isn't wonderful. My granddaughter can sing for an hour in the car and we are all saying STFU! The more people ask her to quit, the longer and louder she sings. Children thrive on negative attention. Despite the fact we would like to reinforce how wonderful she plays the quiet game.

Thanks. We are trialing Clonidine as she scored off the charts for inattentiveness on the SNAP her nursery teacher filled out and I see both the hyperactivity and inattentive behaviour. She’s only 4.5 but I don’t want her falling behind in school and her teachers all found that she can’t focus, she doesn’t respond consistently when called and she has failed preschool 3 four times in swimming lessons (partly because she can’t focus on what the teacher is showing her to do). Fortunately, she scores extremely low on the parts of the assessment that measure conduct concerns. She is never spiteful, cruel, vindictive etc and she has a high level of empathy. But yeah, it’s hard! Her cousin has ADHD, ODD, dyslexia and straddles low average and low for IQ so it definitely gets harder but I haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in 4.5 years. 

31 minutes ago, patsymae said:

how old is she?

 

4.5 years. And has severe separation anxiety so leaving her with a babysitter is not possible at this point, nor will she let me leave the room to get even a 5 minute break when my patience is wearing thin. 

[patsymae]

5 minutes ago, Expectopatronus said:

Thanks. We are trialing Clonidine as she scored off the charts for inattentiveness on the SNAP her nursery teacher filled out and I see both the hyperactivity and inattentive behaviour. She’s only 4.5 but I don’t want her falling behind in school and her teachers all found that she can’t focus, she doesn’t respond consistently when called and she has failed preschool 3 four times in swimming lessons (partly because she can’t focus on what the teacher is showing her to do). Fortunately, she scores extremely low on the parts of the assessment that measure conduct concerns. She is never spiteful, cruel, vindictive etc and she has a high level of empathy. But yeah, it’s hard! Her cousin has ADHD, ODD, dyslexia and straddles low average and low for IQ so it definitely gets harder but I haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in 4.5 years. 

4.5 years. And has severe separation anxiety so leaving her with a babysitter is not possible at this point, nor will she let me leave the room to get even a 5 minute break when my patience is wearing thin. 

OMG that is rough. I was thinking 2-3. I wish I had something helpful to contribute but I'm coming up empty. Do you at least have access to a support group for other parents in the same situation? No answer needed, I'm just feeling for you.

[Coconut Flan]

Please note that there is a parenting area on FJ:

https://www.freejinger.org/forum/522-forum/

[Cults-r-us]

1 hour ago, Expectopatronus said:

Thanks. We are trialing Clonidine as she scored off the charts for inattentiveness on the SNAP her nursery teacher filled out and I see both the hyperactivity and inattentive behaviour. She’s only 4.5 but I don’t want her falling behind in school and her teachers all found that she can’t focus, she doesn’t respond consistently when called and she has failed preschool 3 four times in swimming lessons (partly because she can’t focus on what the teacher is showing her to do). Fortunately, she scores extremely low on the parts of the assessment that measure conduct concerns. She is never spiteful, cruel, vindictive etc and she has a high level of empathy. But yeah, it’s hard! Her cousin has ADHD, ODD, dyslexia and straddles low average and low for IQ so it definitely gets harder but I haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in 4.5 years. 

4.5 years. And has severe separation anxiety so leaving her with a babysitter is not possible at this point, nor will she let me leave the room to get even a 5 minute break when my patience is wearing thin. 

As I have said, my daughter was very difficult. She had this horrible behavior at home but was good at school and daycare. So my day went like this: I would be making my bed and she would be drinking medicine. I would be reading the Ipicac label and she would be putting out the pilot on the hot water heater. I would be standing on my head lighting the pilot and she'd be calling 911. I would be talking to the nice dispatcher while she went running naked down the road, with the neighbors bringing her back, saying "Don't you ever watch her?"

     She made it impossible to do anything but pay attention to her. She would, for example, unplug the vacuum when I tried to sweep. I had to take her to daycare, where she acted perfect, to sweep. So it always looked like the problem was me. I used to lock myself in the bathroom to pay bills or eat. I at least knew where she was with her catawauling and catapulting herself at the door.

     People would say to me, "Don't you tell her to stay out of your stuff,?" I would say no, everyday I give her permanent markers, nail polish and my best scissors and tell her not to stop until everything is ruined! 

     As far as separation anxiety, people called mine the Saran Wrap baby, which she was until she wasn't, And people always phrased their concerns with " Did you know?" Such as, ,,"Did you know your child is climbing the fire escape at church?" And so forth.

     I do desperately wanted to be a parent - and a good parent. I hope you get a foundation of people around and under you giving support and encouragement because it is very hard. When the school or counselors would say her behavior is my fault, I would reply I can't make anybody else act like this. Blaming the parent is a cop out and empowers the child to act out.

 

 

[Mama Mia]

I really like Jana’s tiny house. Very cute, lots of good organization. She also looks 10x more relaxed than when she was on the show. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

11 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

Blaming the parent is a cop out and empowers the child to act out.

Absolutely - kids are individuals just like adults.  All you can do is your best but nobody is able to be ON 100% of the time without breaks.  We're not machines.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I truly try not the judge other parents. I was at a pool with friends the other day and there was a fecal incident. My friend was like, “the parent should know of the child is potty trained and put them in a swim diaper!” I’m a terrible devil’s advocate so I couldn’t bite my tongue. Of course I had to say that the child who pooped may have special needs and we never know. And my friend agreed. 
 

Of course we didn’t set foot in that pool even long after it was cleaned! The mental image was seared into our brains 🤣

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Just watched Jana's tiny house tour. She and her "children" have movie nights there. Huge improvement over her childhood. Nice house--honestly.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Jana still has a ring on her left hand:

Edited July 24 by JermajestyDuggar

[Cam]

Is she out with Abbey? Maybe a potential fiancé is in the Medic Corp gang or whatever that plane thing. Just a conjecture.

[CaptainFunderpants]

24 minutes ago, Cam said:

Is she out with Abbey? Maybe a potential fiancé is in the Medic Corp gang or whatever that plane thing. Just a conjecture.

On the one hand, Jana being out with Abbie seems fairly normal -John and Jana are still close and I would assume she's fairly close with Abbie too.

That said... If it is someone Medicorps adjacent, throw more wheels on the ISB regarding Stephen Wissman. One of his sisters is part of the Real Housewives of Medicorps, while another moved to Arkansas to work in the office.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Cam said:

Is she out with Abbey? Maybe a potential fiancé is in the Medic Corp gang or whatever that plane thing. Just a conjecture.

It’s a screen shot from a quick clip James posted. Watching the air show was Jana, Abbie, Jackson, and Josie. There could have been more people sitting with them but not shown in the video. 

[AussieKrissy]

Isnt that just he promise to daddy that she wont have the evil sex before marriage?

[marmalade]

3 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Isnt that just he promise to daddy that she wont have the evil sex before marriage?

I don't recall Jana wearing a promise ring before. 

[AussieKrissy]

14 minutes ago, marmalade said:

I don't recall Jana wearing a promise ring before. 

I thought they all did 

 

[jakesykora]

14 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

I thought they all did 

 

Looking back at her instagram prior to the post that started all the speculation, you can go back a long way and not see a ring on that finger. If she was wearing one before, it's been a very long time since she's had it on.

Several times you can see her ring finger well going back many years (into 2019) without a visible ring...

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGBYjUFhwLi/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/p/B4fFBRhgGOC/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/p/CFAcc_kBlL5/?hl=en&img_index=1

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLtCNzrFEYS/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/p/CEQc3h-AKS1/?hl=en&img_index=1

https://www.instagram.com/p/CHJU0z9huLG/?hl=en 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CD7dTFGhH_o/?hl=en&img_index=1

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-5WS2fBEhD/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8MvxcOh1EK/?hl=en

 

In fact, the only place I've found her with a ring on her IG going back to when she started her account (aside from recently) is this one - and it's her middle finger and clearly no stone.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvXvQcWATTu/?hl=en