Erin and Chad 11: How Does Anyone Sleep?

[JermajestyDuggar]

40 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

I think there are a couple reasons. Erin is pretty attached to Carson, but I also think he is by far her easiest child. He comes across very gentle and sweet and easy going, the girls all seem more vivacious, especially Holland, that child seems exhausting even from short videos, she just has so much energy. 
 

I do think it is weird to only bring half the kids to a family wedding though.

Let’s hope Carson turns out like JB Duggar’s easiest child and writes a memoir tell all. 

[CanadianMamam]

18 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Let’s hope Carson turns out like JB Duggar’s easiest child and writes a memoir tell all. 

Fingers crossed.

as someone who went through life as their mother’s Emotional a support Child, I can tell you that Carson is going to have a lot of baggage to unpack as he gets older and I hope he somehow finds the tools to do so. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

They are moving. They’ve lived there for almost 2 years now and they don’t have the option to renew the lease. They didn’t elaborate. But it seems they must move. They have animals and a garden and they’ve put a lot of work in the house. And now they have to move. I’m sorry but this is why you buy! They are so ridiculous about not being in debt. Yet they are at the mercy of their landlord. They wouldn’t be in this situation if they had a mortgage. They are not saying where they are moving. They said they love their church and they’ve grown to love Florida and the beach. They are deciding whether to stay in Florida, move back to TN, and even considering other options. Chad’s grandfather died so that is not keeping them in FL anymore. They said they took the opportunity to visit him more now while in FL. They didn’t mention this, but in my opinion they have Other options besides FL. Those would be in NC near the Bates grandparents or OK near Chad’s family. I personally think those are possibilities. Of course she mentioned their vacation with Tori. And just how they are best friends and how much she misses her. Yes Erin we get it. You are BFFs with Tori and not some of your other sisters. Sorry I just can’t stand Erin. 

Edited August 30 by JermajestyDuggar

[ven]

It would be better future wise to get out of florida and move to a cooler and more stable climate wise area.  You can't even get decent insurance coverage in florida anymore, and other disaster prone dry states .  if the insurance is backing out , it's high time to get the fuck out pronto! They should move to wisconsin and never look back

[rebeccawriter01]

Papa Bill and Jane are in SC not NC. Kelly's mom was in NC, I think. 

Given that Chad appears to only be doing some contract odd jobs with others, I'm betting there isn't much option for them to buy. Mortgage companies prefer traditionally employed people. The amount of work they put into renovating rentals is ridiculous. I don't know where they will end up, but I bet Chad is doing everything to avoid Tennessee. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

Papa Bill and Jane are in SC not NC. Kelly's mom was in NC, I think. 

Given that Chad appears to only be doing some contract odd jobs with others, I'm betting there isn't much option for them to buy. Mortgage companies prefer traditionally employed people. The amount of work they put into renovating rentals is ridiculous. I don't know where they will end up, but I bet Chad is doing everything to avoid Tennessee. 

Chad is a terrible provider as a fundie quiverful husband who expects his wife not to work. If they had 2 kids, they went to public school, and he let Erin work, their financials would look much better. This is why you shouldn’t push these ridiculous ideologies and gender roles. Because it can’t always work. 

[raayx01]

9 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Chad is a terrible provider as a fundie quiverful husband who expects his wife not to work. If they had 2 kids, they went to public school, and he let Erin work, their financials would look much better. This is why you shouldn’t push these ridiculous ideologies and gender roles. Because it can’t always work. 

I don't think its the traditional genre roles or homeschooling, they just make bad choices for starters chad could make more if he had a certification or worked for a construction company for a few years, but he does on his own handy man stuff like Trace and like him it seems like work has dried up especially since he s not specialized in anything like plumbing or welding. two he moved states with no clients and no one knew him so having to start from scratch to promote yourself while already having a name in TN. Then there's the no debt. even if they decided to het a mortgage, I don't think they have any credit to get one. He has never taken credit or loan on anything. His younger in laws are thriving and he's behind. Most people want to rent out the space they have so Im curious to why they cant renew their lease, to expensive? got into a fight with owners? They should honestly move back to TN

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

44 minutes ago, raayx01 said:

I don't think its the traditional genre roles or homeschooling, they just make bad choices for starters chad could make more if he had a certification or worked for a construction company for a few years, but he does on his own handy man stuff like Trace and like him it seems like work has dried up especially since he s not specialized in anything like plumbing or welding. two he moved states with no clients and no one knew him so having to start from scratch to promote yourself while already having a name in TN. Then there's the no debt. even if they decided to het a mortgage, I don't think they have any credit to get one. He has never taken credit or loan on anything. His younger in laws are thriving and he's behind. Most people want to rent out the space they have so Im curious to why they cant renew their lease, to expensive? got into a fight with owners? They should honestly move back to TN

I agree, except... Gender roles and homeschooling are factors as JermajestyD said , and I don't think they should move back to TN. On Reddit earlier today, there was suggestions that they could help out Papa Bill and Mama Jane. That might work - IF they (the Paynes) lived outside of the house. We've seen how the chaos gets on Janie's nerves, and it probably wouldn't good for Bill 24/7 either. Although, they have family on the property so it could be a moot point to have more help there, or could give caregivers respite. 

He needs a damn secure job.

Living in FL will improve when the insane people are gone/shut up and DeMentor is out of office. 💙 maybe not in their minds though!🤣😉             To clarify, I'm not pro censorship and that's part of the issue - people are fking up the state with the censorship, threatening library staff (not just in schools), making the education ridiculous (it wasn't like this even 10-15 yrs ago, much less 30+ eek! I'm old LOL), making it unsafe for everyone but old white straight guys 

Luv the state, hate what's happened/ing

Edited August 30 by LongTimeLurkerOG
Clarification

[Kiki03910]

1 hour ago, LongTimeLurkerOG said:

I agree, except... Gender roles and homeschooling are factors as JermajestyD said , and I don't think they should move back to TN. On Reddit earlier today, there was suggestions that they could help out Papa Bill and Mama Jane. That might work - IF they (the Paynes) lived outside of the house. We've seen how the chaos gets on Janie's nerves, and it probably wouldn't good for Bill 24/7 either. Although, they have family on the property so it could be a moot point to have more help there, or could give caregivers respite. 

He needs a damn secure job.

Living in FL will improve when the insane people are gone/shut up and DeMentor is out of office. 💙 maybe not in their minds though!🤣😉             To clarify, I'm not pro censorship and that's part of the issue - people are fking up the state with the censorship, threatening library staff (not just in schools), making the education ridiculous (it wasn't like this even 10-15 yrs ago, much less 30+ eek! I'm old LOL), making it unsafe for everyone but old white straight guys 

Luv the state, hate what's happened/ing

Remember when Florida was purple? It's sad times these days. (I went to New College for 2 years!)

I can't see Erin helping anyone. She prefers to be helped.

[CaptainFunderpants]

13 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Chad is a terrible provider as a fundie quiverful husband who expects his wife not to work. If they had 2 kids, they went to public school, and he let Erin work, their financials would look much better. This is why you shouldn’t push these ridiculous ideologies and gender roles. Because it can’t always work. 

It's wild considering Chad was seen as the gold standard for fundie husbands for several years. The Emperor now has no clothes. Completely agree with @raayx01 regarding the lack of certifications, especially being in his late-30s.

My instinct says they're going to end up in Oklahoma, but we shall see.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just comparing Erin to her sisters shows how different their lives are. Erin left the BSB and that was obviously a mistake. Considering it seems to be quite successful. Even Zach now works there. Chad could have worked there too but nope. Erin had to pull out and seemed to cut off her best friends Carlin and Whitney. Out of all the Bates kids, I think Erin might have a life I envy the least. 

[Ashley Ocean]

We don't see much of Erin anymore. Chad scares me. She once thought she married a fundie prince and that every other girl envied her. 6 kids in, I bet she's singing a different tune these days. He is a terrible provider and they live on the edge of poverty. I hope for the sake of the kids that their circumstances improve, but I'm not holding my breath!

[JermajestyDuggar]

24 minutes ago, Ashley Ocean said:

We don't see much of Erin anymore. Chad scares me. She once thought she married a fundie prince and that every other girl envied her. 6 kids in, I bet she's singing a different tune these days. He is a terrible provider and they live on the edge of poverty. I hope for the sake of the kids that their circumstances improve, but I'm not holding my breath!

When they make videos, he talks so much. And Erin just sits there and listens. I think Erin is stuck with a Pa Ingalls. She can’t get out so she just digs in deeper. I would feel sorry for her if she wasn’t so smug and holier than thou. 

[JDuggs]

I think Erin and Chad are stuck in the “God will provide” mentality. The rest of her siblings and their spouses either have jobs or are leaning into more secular social media influencing or both. Chad and Erin seem to think they’re above that. I bet in most more urban/suburban areas there’s a huge demand for people with Chad’s skills. I think they want to live in a more “country” area where the demand isn’t as high. I also doubt that Erin wants Chad working outside the home 40-50 hours a week.

I don’t think the Paines are destitute. The kids look healthy and happy. I just don’t think they’ll have a house with a swimming pool and a putting green any time soon.

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

I think Erin and Chad are stuck in the “God will provide” mentality. The rest of her siblings and their spouses either have jobs or are leaning into more secular social media influencing or both. Chad and Erin seem to think they’re above that. I bet in most more urban/suburban areas there’s a huge demand for people with Chad’s skills. I think they want to live in a more “country” area where the demand isn’t as high. I also doubt that Erin wants Chad working outside the home 40-50 hours a week.

I don’t think the Paines are destitute. The kids look healthy and happy. I just don’t think they’ll have a house with a swimming pool and a putting green any time soon.

I don’t think they are destitute but Erin put a baby in a closet in their current rental home. Sorry but that’s not ideal at all. And in their last rental, she squeezed 4 kinds in a very small bedroom. It was so squashed in there. I don’t think they need a pool. But they do need a room that isn’t a closet. 

[Coconut Flan]

3 hours ago, Ashley Ocean said:

We don't see much of Erin anymore. Chad scares me. She once thought she married a fundie prince and that every other girl envied her. 6 kids in, I bet she's singing a different tune these days. He is a terrible provider and they live on the edge of poverty. I hope for the sake of the kids that their circumstances improve, but I'm not holding my breath!

If the rumored interest Jana had for Chad was real, she dodged a bullet.  I think she's having a better life with the path she's on. 

[marmalade]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I don’t think they are destitute but Erin put a baby in a closet in their current rental home. Sorry but that’s not ideal at all. And in their last rental, she squeezed 4 kinds in a very small bedroom. It was so squashed in there. I don’t think they need a pool. But they do need a room that isn’t a closet. 

Unless Chad gets a real job, they'll never own a house, forget the pool. 

[vienna]

What I don't understand is how this works: Gil on the board of IBPL promoting their values while having a couple of kids who are definitely not quiverfull, wearing not only pants but sexy outfits and having a very not fundi lifestyle.

Regarding Erin and Chad: Is it only my impression, that Chad has been a good guy for the first years but something changed and the decided HE has to be the head of the household? I think at some point he didn't take anymore that Erin made money and videos and had a feeling of success while he accomplished nothing. 

[Bobology]

When they were planning their move to Florida the lines they gave publicly were something about being near/helping Chad's grandpa and "helping" a particular church. Maybe they rented their house and property for less than typical rental fee from someone who was beholden to Chad's grandpa for whatever reason and now the property owners don't feel beholden to Chad's family at all. They can now sell the place or rent for a more competitive price. This is nothing more than a possibly theory.

[JermajestyDuggar]

44 minutes ago, vienna said:

What I don't understand is how this works: Gil on the board of IBPL promoting their values while having a couple of kids who are definitely not quiverfull, wearing not only pants but sexy outfits and having a very not fundi lifestyle.

Regarding Erin and Chad: Is it only my impression, that Chad has been a good guy for the first years but something changed and the decided HE has to be the head of the household? I think at some point he didn't take anymore that Erin made money and videos and had a feeling of success while he accomplished nothing. 

I think most large  quiverful families families with mostly adult children have kids who are not following the lifestyle forced on them in their childhood. They probably couldn’t find anyone for the board if that was the criteria. 

[Melissa1977]

49 minutes ago, vienna said:

Regarding Erin and Chad: Is it only my impression, that Chad has been a good guy for the first years but something changed and the decided HE has to be the head of the household? I think at some point he didn't take anymore that Erin made money and videos and had a feeling of success while he accomplished nothing

Completely agree. Something happened that made him change. He was a servant of the Bates and worshipped Erin... but at some point he became the boss. They don't seem to be able to have an equal relationship, at the beginning she was the princess and Chad made everything she wanted. I think the change was after Erin was very sick during a long time, I think they had either a faith crisis or a marriage crisis and looked for answers and the answer was that he had to be the leader. 

I have the feeling that Erin pretends to be really happy, but for someone who has been spoiled by her husband and who was the favourite child at home, it must be very hard being far from her parents, doing a lot of house work, having to obey Chad and looking how most of her sisters are richer than her. Also she loved teaching piano and did a big sacrifice leaving that (while I think she wasn't forced to do that, she was still the princess when she left teaching).

Edited August 31 by Melissa1977
Spelling

[ifosterkittens]

6 hours ago, JDuggs said:

I think Erin and Chad are stuck in the “God will provide” mentality.

I agree they probably use that mentality. Whenever I hear the phrase "God will provide" I always remember my grandma saying, "God helps those who help themselves, don't forget you have to put in the work too!" 

6 hours ago, JDuggs said:

The rest of her siblings and their spouses either have jobs or are leaning into more secular social media influencing or both. Chad and Erin seem to think they’re above that.

Trad wife content is having its moment on social media, and what I always find contradictory about the content is the amount of time and effort that goes into preparing the content, filming, editing, posting, responding to the comments/messages/emails, all the work that goes into finding sponsors, promotions etc, having that be a source of income, but still somehow not count as work. 

I also get the impression Chad and Erin are on the moral high ground not doing the social media content creation. Also, their child is sleeping in a closet. They could focus their content on homesteading, homeschooling, or expand into some religious content if they wanted. 

[vienna]

12 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think most large  quiverful families families with mostly adult children have kids who are not following the lifestyle forced on them in their childhood. They probably couldn’t find anyone for the board if that was the criteria. 

True. But still. Your kids are not practicing what you preach. Are those kids going to hell in their view? If yes, they have to cut them of as bad influence to other kids or try to convince them to finde back to god all the time. If not, than why bother living with stricter standards?

In if it is none of those options, how can they and people who they preach to not see how far away from any logic this is?

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, vienna said:

True. But still. Your kids are not practicing what you preach. Are those kids going to hell in their view? If yes, they have to cut them of as bad influence to other kids or try to convince them to finde back to god all the time. If not, than why bother living with stricter standards?

In if it is none of those options, how can they and people who they preach to not see how far away from any logic this is?

Oh I’m sure there are people who gossip about the Bates kids who aren’t perfect IBLP spawn. But they probably also think, “at least they aren’t writing tell all books like Jill Duggar.” Because that’s basically the worst thing you could do in that cult. Or be openly and happily gay. 

[Bassett Lady]

12 minutes ago, vienna said:

Are those kids going to hell in their view? If yes, they have to cut them of as bad influence to other kids or try to convince them to finde back to god all the time. If not, than why bother living with stricter standards?

Disclaimer, I am not, nor have I ever been, IBLP. I have very casually known a few families that are likely IBLP. I think they would say that the Bates kids are saved, but that their lives would be better, happier, easier, more blessed if they followed the IBLP rules.