Bro Gary Hawkins 23: Give Us the History

[thoughtful]

Becky's contribution to the memory book (only $69.95!) that the funeral home offers:

Spoiler

 

[Xan]

The hypocrisy is stunning.  Becky is able to decide not to treat her own daughter as if she's a daughter and yet she praises Gary's mom.  I guess Becky's love is conditional and based on whether on not that daughter is just fundie enough.

[keepercjr]

1 hour ago, Xan said:

The hypocrisy is stunning.  Becky is able to decide not to treat her own daughter as if she's a daughter and yet she praises Gary's mom.  I guess Becky's love is conditional and based on whether on not that daughter is just fundie enough.

Fundie enough and accepts her abusive husband.

[FiveAcres]

Maybe it was one of those: "you are welcome to visit anytime Mom, as long as it is without Gary" situations. 

[Ozlsn]

On 11/15/2023 at 6:46 AM, thoughtful said:

Or he got fired or laid off.

I'm 50/50 on fired vs quit - I can see quitting in a huff because someone asked him to do something or told him off or offended his pride in some way. I can see fired because he was a pain who wouldn't listen to instructions, was a hazard to others and kept wanting to preach at people.

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Ozlsn said:

I'm 50/50 on fired vs quit - I can see quitting in a huff because someone asked him to do something or told him off or offended his pride in some way. I can see fired because he was a pain who wouldn't listen to instructions, was a hazard to others and kept wanting to preach at people.

If he spoke then the way he does now, maybe he caused a hazard because nobody could understand a thing that mumbler was saying!

[thoughtful]

Michaela had her baby - she posted 18 hours ago.

Seven hours after posting about his birth, she posted this, because . . . priorities?

Spoiler

 

Edited November 17, 2023 by thoughtful
riffle

[thoughtful]

Becky and Gary and their granddaughter were in church last night. When Pastor Baker asked for prayers, Gary told them his daughter had her baby.

Then it sounds like he said that someone "lost her Mom today." Baker never sends the microphone around on Wednesdays, so Gary can barely be heard. But he repeats what they say, and even then I can't figure it out.

ETA - more info about the birth, from Gary's ex-MIL's facebook:

Spoiler

Quote

And my Great Grandson Joseph Jr. was born this morning. All parties are doing well, but sore after emergency C-section. Some concerns after the baby arrived. He was half way through the birth canal making his lungs not so strong.

 

 

Edited November 17, 2023 by thoughtful

[MayMay1123]

13 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Michaela had her baby - she posted 18 hours ago.

Seven hours after posting about his birth, she posted this, because . . . priorities?

  Hide contents

 

They don't extend the same courtesy that it's also okay to say happy holidays. No one took away saying either of those things! So dumb

[AmazonGrace]

Can someone explain why Halloween is bad because of the pagan origins, but Christmas is good, despite the pagan origins? 

[Alisamer]

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

Can someone explain why Halloween is bad because of the pagan origins, but Christmas is good, despite the pagan origins? 

I've wondered the same thing.

I suspect it's because of costumes and decor (witches, skeletons, zombies, oh my!), because it's kind of sort of attached to a Catholic holiday that few protestants celebrate so automatically suspicious, and doesn't have even the slightest veneer of Christianity pasted over it. 

At Christmas, even secular stores will have items with nativity scenes and stars of bethlehem and other blatantly Christian elements. Easter gets crosses and "he is risen" and stuff like that. Halloween? None of that, it's all secular and spooky and frightening to people who say that God is all powerful and omniscient but also believe Satan is powerful enough and Demons are real enough that Halloween might be dangerous. I also think Steve Maxwell isn't the only fundie who thinks fun is something to be suspicious of. Most of them don't come right out and say fun is potentially sinful, but they're wary of anything fun that doesn't also manage to be blatantly Christian. 

[thoughtful]

6 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

They don't extend the same courtesy that it's also okay to say happy holidays. No one took away saying either of those things! So dumb

It is dumb - she even got pushback from (I assume, based on the last name) someone in her husband's family:

As I've said before, I vastly prefer that total strangers say whatever they would have said at any other time of year. Just continue saying "Have a great day" or "Thank you for shopping at _______" or "Thanks for the help" or whatever.

If you see a clear sign that a stranger might be from a certain culture or religion, whether it's a bindi and sari, a hijab, a cross necklace or a santa pin on their coat, and you know a holiday from their tradition is  coming soon, you might want to take a chance on what will please them.

Among friends and family, wish them what they would enjoy hearing.

More of my yearly rant, this year's version, under spoiler (not directed at you, @MayMay1123, just something that comes to my mind whenever the War on Christmas crap comes up from the fundies):
 

Spoiler

Even saying "happy holidays" to strangers feels odd to me, having grown up with the feel, the rhythm, of a completely different set of ups and downs during the year (Chanuka is not a major Jewish holiday, but a minor festival, that got blown out of proportion due to proximity to Christmas).

And now I have no religion, so even that feel has faded for me. I stay aware of Jewish holidays for my Mom's sake - she's been less interested in celebrating them lately, but I always ask what I can do to help, in case she wants to return to some observance.

I am far from alone. This is not "the holiday season" for a vast number of people throughout the world.

And, let's face it, in the US, calling it the holiday season is all about Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, mostly Christmas.  The push for everyone to be festive festive FESTIVE!!!!!! (and spend money with the people pushing the festivity) from November to January 2 is not a pleasant thing, to me.

And, every year, I see and hear many people who do celebrate Christmas getting cranky and exhausted (and, when I was working for others, bad at their jobs) because they feel the need to overshop, redecorate, plan travel, or they have (or dole out) guilt over who will be where for the Big Day.

Of course, anyone from any background can do those things as a holiday approaches, but because the drive to make this time of year festive is everywhere in our culture, it makes things even harder on some people, even people who love Christmas in any form.

I'm really not a curmudgeon - I just prefer an even keel. These days, I am indulging my natural tendency, and just being happy to wake up every morning, no day less special than another. I like to socialize in small groups or one-on-one, and am lucky enough to be in a position where I can do so without hurting anyone's feelings.

I also can avoid a lot of Ubiquitous Christmas now that I'm self-employed, don't shop (other than groceries and thrift stores) at this time of year, and don't watch much TV. So it's not as aggravating to me as it used to be.

I just still don't understand why otherwise kind, progressive, inclusive people seem to think that saying "happy holidays" somehow solves the problem of what to say to strangers at this time of year. I don't have a holiday - religious, personal, worldwide or national - coming up. So having a total stranger wish me happy holidays is weird. It's like they are wishing me a happy birthday on their birthday.

Also, now that I know more about when holidays fall for people of differing backgrounds, I love hearing about how others celebrate whatever they celebrate, whenever they celebrate it. Right now, I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of this year's gorgeous Diwali outfits from my Hindu friends and students. The excitement of their major holiday is almost over for this year.

That applies to Christmas, too - I like hearing about the ways people decorate and celebrate, and seeing all of the ornaments, and hearing the stories behind them if they have sentimental value.

But, to me, that's in the same category as looking at the kitchen pictures that @nelliebelle1197 posted on the Rod thread - it's fun to see and hear about what makes other people happy, and just to look at pretty things, and I love anything that honors tradition or history.

TL;DR - saying "happy holidays" doesn't really show inclusivity or respect for people who don't celebrate Christmas - I think people should just say what they'd always say to strangers.

 

Edited November 17, 2023 by thoughtful
clarity, fixing horrible grammar

[thoughtful]

I guess Gary hasn't looked at this phone in a while. Someone has commented repeatedly under Gary's post about going to the men's home, inviting him and the other commenters to Islam, and adding things like this:

I'd ask how it feels to have someone else proselytize to him (well, I wouldn't actually him, because I don't touch the poop, but I'd ask rhetorically here), but Gary wouldn't even get the "do unto others" idea. As far as he is concerned, his specific type of Christianity is the only truth, and a great gift that everyone should crave.

Edited November 17, 2023 by thoughtful

[Dana723]

On 11/13/2023 at 7:06 PM, Xan said:

And she's currently caring for Gary's granddaughter but can't even mention her own.  Sometimes I feel sorry for her about having to live with Gary but today isn't one of those days.  She's a real piece of work herself.

You're absolutely right.  I sometimes find myself feeling sorry for Becky then I remember, she made this bed and now she has to lie in it. 

[thoughtful]

39 minutes ago, Dana723 said:

You're absolutely right.  I sometimes find myself feeling sorry for Becky then I remember, she made this bed and now she has to lie in it. 

Besides the shoddy way she has treated her family, she also holds beliefs as vile as Gary's. She is just smarter and behaves more nicely among like-minded people.

The thing that I keep in the back of my mind is that Becky is the one who posted the bizarre, racist sermon from William P. Grady.

Edited November 18, 2023 by thoughtful

[Black Aliss]

On 11/9/2023 at 9:38 AM, thoughtful said:

It's just that the poses were so predictable. And, knowing what they believe, I guess I can't help but see fundy pregnancy photoshoots as celebrating women as baby-producers and feeders (and not much else).

Especially when the woman's head isn't included.

[keepercjr]

On 11/17/2023 at 12:23 PM, thoughtful said:

It is dumb - she even got pushback from (I assume, based on the last name) someone in her husband's family:

That is her husband's brother.  Hope she and her baby recover quickly. 

[Ozlsn]

I have to say taking your granddaughter an 8 hour drive away to look after while her mum gives birth just feels really weird to me. Looking after her in her own home and either staying over there or nearby would be much more normal, for my family at least. I hope the granddaughter feels like it's a special trip for her, and not that she's being shunted out of the way.

[thoughtful]

23 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

I have to say taking your granddaughter an 8 hour drive away to look after while her mum gives birth just feels really weird to me. Looking after her in her own home and either staying over there or nearby would be much more normal, for my family at least. I hope the granddaughter feels like it's a special trip for her, and not that she's being shunted out of the way.

They have had her stay with them one other time since moving to Tennessee, so it might not be too traumatic for her.

Well, no more traumatic than anything else about the way these people bring up children, if Michaela and her husband are following in her parents' footsteps. Here's hoping they're not. And here's hoping Gary didn't find a reason she "deserved" a beating while she was visiting.

[thoughtful]

Gary finally looked at his phone, but he wasn't very thorough - some of the comments inviting his commenters to Islam are gone, but not all.

Becky posted about a missing woman - married to one of the Bessinas family.

It seems she left on purpose:

Spoiler

More on her husband's Facebook:

Spoiler

He's getting all kinds of sympathy, and advice not to take her back. His answer to this comment (an aunt, I think) contains one of the all-time greatest spelling errors (or talk-to-text glitches) I have ever seen:

Spoiler

https://www.facebook.com/james.bissenas.5

I posted about a service led by his father here - he was the one who joked about her being his "numba one daughter-in-raw" and then tried to explain his stupid, racist Charlie Chan joke.

Edited November 19, 2023 by thoughtful
word choice

[thoughtful]

Nothing public about her missing daughter-in-law on Pastor Bessinas' wife's Facebook page. There are some private posts - maybe one of more of them is about the situation.

She posts as German Rhonda (her first name and maiden name, reversed), and often comments on Gary's posts. She posts a lot of dad jokes, coffee memes, bible stuff, and vile right-wing crap.

While I was looking at her Facebook page, I did see this post - wish I hadn't. These people are so fucked up.

Spoiler

Also this - wonder who it is aimed at? If Becky and Gary see it, they can feel safe - after all, he's not a pastor.

Spoiler

 

[AmazonGrace]

Well I think unless the police is asking for information nobody should post anything on FB, or anywhere else online about any missing persons. People who leave on purpose may be escaping dangerous situations or have all sorts of legitimate reasons to go,  and sometimes it's the abuser who is the most vocal on the internet, giving out their information.

JMO and I don't know anything about these particular people.

[thoughtful]

7 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Well I think unless the police is asking for information nobody should post anything on FB, or anywhere else online about any missing persons. People who leave on purpose may be escaping dangerous situations or have all sorts of legitimate reasons to go,  and sometimes it's the abuser who is the most vocal on the internet, giving out their information.

JMO and I don't know anything about these particular people.

Oh yeah - I don't know more than what I've seen online of the Bessinas family, but what I've seen is disgusting. This could be just the breakup of a marriage due to an affair, but it's hard not to think of it as someone escaping a horrible, abusive situation. Her call to say she's OK, but not revealing where she is, smacks of trying to get him to stop with the "missing person" routine, while staying safely away from him.

And, as happens with so many things we read about fundies, my primary thought is - those poor kids. But I thought that about them before this, as I do about all kids being raised in this cesspool.

BTW, James is the one who was trying to make a movie - don't know what happened to that. He now has another IMDb credit, though - something called Models on the Move: Journey to Teen Fashion Week.

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm12158725/

[keepercjr]

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Oh yeah - I don't know more than what I've seen online of the Bessinas family, but what I've seen is disgusting. This could be just the breakup of a marriage due to an affair, but it's hard not to think of it as someone escaping a horrible, abusive situation. Her call to say she's OK, but not revealing where she is, smacks of trying to get him to stop with the "missing person" routine, while staying safely away from him.

And, as happens with so many things we read about fundies, my primary thought is - those poor kids. But I thought that about them before this, as I do about all kids being raised in this cesspool.

BTW, James is the one who was trying to make a movie - don't know what happened to that. He now has another IMDb credit, though - something called Models on the Move: Journey to Teen Fashion Week.

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm12158725/

It is weird.  He claims she left for another man who is in the military (who paid for a flight to montana) and they are turning him in to try to get him in trouble.  I hope she is safe, wherever she is.  It is sad that she left her little kids though. 

[Ozlsn]

54 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

It is weird.  He claims she left for another man who is in the military (who paid for a flight to montana) and they are turning him in to try to get him in trouble.  I hope she is safe, wherever she is.  It is sad that she left her little kids though. 

I hope that she is safe as well. "Turning him in"... for what I wonder? I can think of a few obvious things here, but not if it's an affair.