Mills 19: Life Without Andrea

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

[Maggie Mae]

Thank you so much for the new thread. 

Has anything changed for them? His facebook is all memories of Andrea. 

[Ozlsn]

From the last thread "Justus, Eden and Claudia are in public school. He said Solomon, Phia, and Hannah are being home schooled". Judah is apparently working. 

So some change and hopefully a progression towards a more mainstream existence.

[Admiral]

Judah quit working at Diehl’s quite a while ago. Tom said it was so he could concentrate on his schoolwork. Judah has since graduated and has his driver’s license. Judah does not work outside of the home and he is not attending any school. Asher is supposedly working with Tom but it’s only mentioned sporadically.

Justus however does work at Diehl’s grocery store after school. He is also on the school’s track team.

[Giraffe]

Wow, I'm thrilled Hannah's in school!

[Maggie Mae]

43 minutes ago, Admiral said:

Justus however does work at Diehl’s grocery store after school. He is also on the school’s track team.

Wow, Andrea would have never allowed any of her kids to participate in sports! That's awesome. 

[Pleiades_06]

4 hours ago, Giraffe said:

Wow, I'm thrilled Hannah's in school!

Unfortunately she’s not. She’s being homeschooled. Claudia is though, which is so good for her.

[Admiral]

Tom has had an online girlfriend for over 2 years. She refuses to show her face on Tom’s blogs but does show up in the chat. She has gone by various names: Lynn H., Kelsea, B. Fontana. Tom keeps saying that he hopes to get married late this year or early next year but this is a lady with 3 young kids and of course Tom has not made any home improvements to provide for 4 extra bodies in the house. 

 

[Giraffe]

3 hours ago, Pleiades_06 said:

Unfortunately she’s not. She’s being homeschooled. Claudia is though, which is so good for her.

Aww, bummer. I misread it. It would be fantastic if Hannah were!

[louannems]

On 10/20/2023 at 10:20 PM, Giraffe said:

Aww, bummer. I misread it. It would be fantastic if Hannah were!

When Hanna was two and three years old, she spoke much more clearly than Sofia.  So did Claudia.  Now it sounds like both girls speak like Sophia, along with her strange articulation.  I wish all the girls were in public school.  Sophia hasn’t improved her speech in years.

[fundiefollower]

Tom's mom, grandma Kitty, who has provided a lot of assistance for this kids still doing homeschooling, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  

 

Tom also announced a week or two ago that he ended his 2.5 year relationship.  It was long distance, she was in CA I believe.  He denies it was catfishing because he did go visit her several times but she never visited WY.  The last time he went it was a surprise visit and he was going to propose - has a ring and everything.  He found out that she was living with her "baby daddy" but says they (the woman and baby daddy) had no real relationship, were like roommates.  He didn't break it off then, gave it another 6-9 months.  But she finally said she would not be moving to WY with her 2-3 kids (I can't remember how many).  She had led him to believe she would but always had excuses.  

 

She was 10 years younger than him and "hot", is what he said.  

[Giraffe]

While it will be utterly devastating for the children to lose their grandmother I hope it means all of them get enrolled in public school. From there hopefully they're in a resource-rich school and can finally get grief counseling* and any academic support they need. 

*Delusional to go that far, I know, but here's hoping. 

[Pleiades_06]

5 hours ago, fundiefollower said:

Tom's mom, grandma Kitty, who has provided a lot of assistance for this kids still doing homeschooling, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer

That’s awful. She has been a relatively stable, normal presence in the kids‘ lives.

I saw talk on Reddit about the girlfriend but I always take what I read there with a huge grain of salt. Honestly he doesn’t present as someone who would be stable partner.

[Maggie Mae]

1 hour ago, Pleiades_06 said:

Honestly he doesn’t present as someone who would be stable partner.

Doesn't every woman want a man who barely bathes, plays computer games all day, decked out his car like a child's cartoon, doesn't eat anything except one brand of bologna, white bread, cereal, and pizza? Who lives in a dirty house with kids stacked like cordwood? I mean, he's clearly a working, professional, adult man. The only thing he has going for him is that he's a non-smoker. For real. 

[Queen Of Hearts]

On 7/18/2024 at 11:50 AM, fundiefollower said:

Tom's mom, grandma Kitty, who has provided a lot of assistance for this kids still doing homeschooling, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  

 

Tom also announced a week or two ago that he ended his 2.5 year relationship.  It was long distance, she was in CA I believe.  He denies it was catfishing because he did go visit her several times but she never visited WY.  The last time he went it was a surprise visit and he was going to propose - has a ring and everything.  He found out that she was living with her "baby daddy" but says they (the woman and baby daddy) had no real relationship, were like roommates.  He didn't break it off then, gave it another 6-9 months.  But she finally said she would not be moving to WY with her 2-3 kids (I can't remember how many).  She had led him to believe she would but always had excuses.  

 

She was 10 years younger than him and "hot", is what he said.  

Poor Tom.  That is all a lot to deal with at once for anyone, let alone a single dad of many.  I have a soft spot for him, even if he wouldn't be my cup of tea.  He seems to be trying with the kids - those who wanted to have been allowed to go to public school, he appears to be getting the kids proper medical and dental care, allows them to dress as individuals, etc.  The bar has been set pretty low, but in many ways Tom has improved the kids' lives since Andrea's death (not that I am implying that the death of a parent is a good thing, of course).  Overall, Tom has always seemed like a decent, albeit lazy, guy who unfortunately let Andrea be the leader which took them down a major path of crazy.  

Kitty is very you g to be going through cancer.  Those poor kids now have a history of cancer at a young age on both sides of their family - I hope as they move into adulthood they will take their medical care very seriously and get frequent checks.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

How old is the grandmother? I'm sorry she has cancer. It will be hard on the family.

[Queen Of Hearts]

Kitty posted today that she was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer, and that she would not be receiving chemo or radiation but, instead, will pursue treatment through homeopathy and prayer.

I will never understand why some Christians fail to accept that perhaps God created medical knowledge and treatments as the answer to prayer.  Stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer is nothing to mess around with.

Also, apparently she had been having symptoms for the last year and a half and been to many doctors and gotten different diagnoses before this was finally diagnosed.

[FiveAcres]

1 hour ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Kitty posted today that she was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer, and that she would not be receiving chemo or radiation but, instead, will pursue treatment through homeopathy and prayer.

I will never understand why some Christians fail to accept that perhaps God created medical knowledge and treatments as the answer to prayer.  Stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer is nothing to mess around with.

Also, apparently she had been having symptoms for the last year and a half and been to many doctors and gotten different diagnoses before this was finally diagnosed.

I can  sympathize with her somewhat: if it took this long to diagnose the cancer, she probably lost whatever faith she had in doctors that she began with. (Of course, no way of knowing that she is a reliable narrator. It is possible that the doctors have been trying to convince her for some time that she had something Really Bad going on, and she kept doctor shopping to find a more acceptable diagnosis and/or treatment plan.)

Edited August 2 by FiveAcres
word choice

[Queen Of Hearts]

3 hours ago, FiveAcres said:

I can  sympathize with her somewhat: if it took this long to diagnose the cancer, she probably lost whatever faith she had in doctors that she began with. (Of course, no way of knowing that she is a reliable narrator. It is possible that the doctors have been trying to convince her for some time that she had something Really Bad going on, and she kept doctor shopping to find a more acceptable diagnosis and/or treatment plan.)

I suppose I am a little jaded because I worked with a woman who was also a friend and she developed a bad form of cancer (I am thinking maybe stage 3 pancreatic, but can't remember for sure).  She insisted on treating it naturally.  We all begged her to do treatments as well, but her "homeopathic doctor" convinced her the healthy eating and very expensive supplements he sold wouldn't work if she did treatments.  She didn't survive, and left behind two minor children (she was divorced from their dad).  Very sad.  

[Ozlsn]

9 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Kitty posted today that she was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer, and that she would not be receiving chemo or radiation but, instead, will pursue treatment through homeopathy and prayer.

I hope that she will look at palliative medical care if that is needed. Given the stage and type I can see why someone wouldn't proceed with chemo/radiation other than palliative care. Pancreatic cancer is unfortunately often late diagnosed and very quick.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I agree with @Ozlsn; unfortunately there might not be much they can do. It's very aggressive cancer. It's too bad they didn't figure it out sooner. At this point, any treatment would probably being to prolong her life for a little while, but probably not be able to eradicate the cancer completely. Pancreatic cancer (Stage IV) is what killed Alex Trebek. 

Finally,  here's a link to an article about how doctors make medical decisions for themselves.  I feel like it might provide insight here. 

[FiveAcres]

23 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I agree with @Ozlsn; unfortunately there might not be much they can do. It's very aggressive cancer. It's too bad they didn't figure it out sooner. At this point, any treatment would probably being to prolong her life for a little while, but probably not be able to eradicate the cancer completely. Pancreatic cancer (Stage IV) is what killed Alex Trebek. 

Finally,  here's a link to an article about how doctors make medical decisions for themselves.  I feel like it might provide insight here. 

Thank you. I think I read this article when it was originally published in 2011, and it has stayed with me ever since. I am saving it to my own archives.