John and Alyssa Webster 14: Is It Time to Say the Family Is Complete?

[rebeccawriter01]

On 6/13/2024 at 2:59 PM, dawn9476 said:

Yes because that is when Alyssa was having those issues with her heart. I think she had multiple surgeries.

She had two heart ablation procedures. They are not surgeries by definition. I had one done too. They are quite scary, but heart surgery is 10 times worse. Afterward, you have to be careful about activity so the incision in your groin can heal but you don't even spend the night in the hospital. 

A cardiac ablation procedure can even be done with someone being sedated but awake. My main memory from it was that the bed they put you on was very narrow. I was worried I would fall off of it. They put all the monitor stickies from an EKG on you and they insert a device through a cut in your groin. Then they look for where the faulty electrical signals are shooting from in your heart. Once they find them the doctor burns or freezes them to create a scar. If done properly the heart goes back to beating the correct rhythm. 

 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Five kids would be a crapload of kids for anyone who has an unhelpful spouse.  Our second is due later this year and I'm already planning on giving up extra weekend shifts (oh what a sacrifice to have 2 days off every week!) since I think an infant and a 4yo is going to be a LOT to juggle without two of us.

[Bobology]

20 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

Our second is due later this year

Congrats to your family! 

[CaptainFunderpants]

On 7/6/2024 at 5:56 PM, rebeccawriter01 said:

She had two heart ablation procedures. They are not surgeries by definition. I had one done too. They are quite scary, but heart surgery is 10 times worse. *snip*

If it was scary, I'm guessing the ablation was actually worse than open heart surgery. My BFF had the latter and said it wasn't scary at all. She wasn't anxious leading up to it, was only in the hospital three days, and was willingly back at work a week after that because she was going stir crazy at home, lol.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

That has to vary person to person.  I'm a pretty calm individual but I would be nervous before any surgery or involved medical procedure simply because it carries a risk, no matter how competent the anesthesiologist and surgeon are, that is out of my hands.

[llucie]

New vlog from Alyssa. She went to the farm this week with all her kids since it was her turn to go help the grandparents. Thats actually a good reason for why she wasnt there for the family party last week i think, Alyssa was planning on driving there on her own but last minute John offered to do it wich she was surprised about. John couldnt stay more than a day because of work so he flew back home while Alyssa and the kids stayed for a week. I asume she did the car ride back on her own, although they didnt say. 

I dont think it was much a vacation for Alyssa, but the girls clearly had a blast playing outside.

[rebeccawriter01]

16 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

If it was scary, I'm guessing the ablation was actually worse than open heart surgery. My BFF had the latter and said it wasn't scary at all. She wasn't anxious leading up to it, was only in the hospital three days, and was willingly back at work a week after that because she was going stir crazy at home, lol.

Surgery is worse. It was scary for me because I had a jerk doctor who was so rude that I didn't really trust him. I believe Alyssa was under anesthesia when she did hers. That helps. I was originally going to be awake for mine but the nurse had a talk with the doctor because of my anxiety about it. He managed to listen to her. 

Ablation is an outpatient procedure. I had mine done and was eating a turkey burger an hour later. I stayed longer at the hospital because I was so tired (another issue) and kept wanting to nap. My mother told them that she was not waking me up to take me home and to just let me sleep.

[llucie]

John and Alyssa did another Q&A. They do know how to pick juicier questions but oh boy is John insufferable, it was dificult to watch. Alyssa deserves a medal just for putting up with him. Some of the questions and replies:

• Does she have the same blood clotting dissorder as her sisters? she doesnt know, never got tested for it because by the time they found about it from their aunt and it being genetic she already had 2 healthy pregnancies, her doctors told her it was not necessary for her to get tested. John adds that of course she doesnt have it because they had 5 kids.
• Do you take the kids on family vacations? Alyssa thinks they dont, they do take vacations with John family to the beach and her and John take vacations alone, but the 2 of them with the kids as a family have never taken a vacation. This is a discussion topic between her and John. John thinks they do because trips to visit Alyssa family are already family vacations, for example the recent trip to the farm. Alyssa says that doesnt count because they went there to help out and a vacation is when you are in a hotel, do activities, spend money, like for example a skiing trip like the one John did on his own! John says the kids are too small for that (and implies he would not enjoy the trip as much with them there). Alyssa says her kids have never even seen the snow in their life, but John replies that well that way they have something to look forward when they grow up (i was pleasantly surprised to see than even the fans in the comments were not happy with John reply here).
• Wich one of your kids you think its most like you? Alyssa says Allie is the most like her (her organiced side) and John says Rhett because he is the only boy. Alyssa says Lexie is the one the most like John and he agrees.
• Are they having a 6th child? John jokes that he is the 6th child (how self aware!) They both agree they will not have more since Alyssas pregnancies are too dificult. But John then adds unless they have an accident, Alyssa looks at him like she wants to murder him.
• What are the negatives of having 5 kids? Alyssa says the negative is having them close together but that it also is the positive. First years were dificult and she remembers the time when she had the 3 as a blur but once they grew up it is nice that they are close together and can do activities together.
• Who is the last Duggar you have spoken to? Alyssa says James and Jana, she talked to them the other day. John says he talked to James when Alyssa was with him on the phone.
• Have you ever drank alcohol? no they never did
• What countries have you visited? Alyssa has been in Guatemala, Romania, Peru and the Bahamas, John starts listing USA states, says its 50 countries in 1 and that he doesnt have a passport and has never travelled abroad except in a cruise to the Bahamas because for that only a birth certificate was required. John says everyone wants to come to the united states why would he want to leave.
• Do your kids have playdates with other kids? yes, in the summer they have playdates at least 3 times a week and they love it.
• Do you have a sunday routine like eating out after church? yes they go to eat at John parents house, John got really excited to tell us how this tradition started in Covid times when they had to watch church from home. John would want to still dress up to watch the service at home in a suit and have the girls in nice dresses and teach them how to be quiet in church. John was sure his father would do the same but Alyssa told him no way. One day their power went out and they had to go eat at John parents house and found out that his father was indeed also in a suit so John could tell Alyssa i told you so wich made him really happy. Alyssa says John is just like his father. 
• What heart condition did you have and it is cured? arrhythmia and yes, she still has to go to the doctor but not as frecuent as before, last time she went they did a stress test and everything looked good. John says they had 2 kids since then so of course she is cured.
• Do you have concerns about Rhett legs and his walking? they got a lot of comments about his walking wich concerned them, Alyssa took him to the doctor who told her its just the normal way some kids walk and to wait until he is older.
• Is john still working from home? how is it going? Not anymore because he had to go back to substitute someone that got injured, but he plans to get back to working from home. And they both said it was going well, although it was an adjustment.
• Did you ever picture yourself having 5 kids? they both agreed to have a big family and wanted to have their kids when still young.
• -redditors speculate that you dont take the kids anywhere except church and Cotsco- John laughts and jokes what else do you need?  Alyssa says that actually the girls do karate 2 nights a week and John does softball 2 nights a week, they are on church programs on sundays, playdates with friends and they are part of a homeschool co-op where they meet once a week, John adds that they go to Publix sometimes too!
• Do you have non christian friends? John says it would be judgemental to say no but inmediatly adds that you naturally gravitate towards people that you have things in common, John gives as an example that most of their friends also have 3 or 4 kids too because "only crazy people do that", Alyssa says that a lot of their friends are in church or they meet trough churches, John thinks that you are not gonna hang out  with someone you are not likeminded...but oh well Alyssa assures us that despite all of this of course they do have friends of all backgrounds and probably from all religions too.
• How john relationship with rhett differs from his relationship with the girls? he can be rougher  with him than the girls, he loves to tease and wrestle, the girls didnt like that as much, with them he has to hug them and toss them in the hair but not too high because they get scared, Alyssa says Rhett wants to impress John and would grunt and wants John to see him as manly. 
• Are you considering moving to a bigger house? Alyssa says they cant afford it the way the marked is right now, but her dream house would have 2 more bedrooms, one extra for the kids and one as a guest room so they can have a separate office. John says this house is already their dream house.

Edited July 20 by llucie
small correction

[JermajestyDuggar]

25 minutes ago, llucie said:

John and Alyssa did another Q&A. They do know how to pick juicier questions but oh boy is John insufferable, it was dificult to watch. Alyssa deserves a medal just for putting up with him. Some of the questions and replies:

• Does she have the same blood clotting dissorder as her sisters? she doesnt know, never got tested for it because by the time they found about it from their aunt and it being genetic she already had 2 healthy pregnancies, her doctors told her it was not necessary for her to get tested. John adds that of course she doesnt have it because they had 5 kids.
• Do you take the kids on family vacations? Alyssa thinks they dont, they do take vacations with John family to the beach and her and John take vacations alone, but the 4 of them as a family have never taken a vacation. This is a discussion topic between her and John. John thinks they do because trips to visit Alyssa family are already family vacations, for example the recent trip to the farm. Alyssa says that doesnt count because they went there to help out and a vacation is when you are in a hotel, do activities, spend money, like for example a skiing trip like the one John did on his own! John says the kids are too small for that (and implies he would not enjoy the trip as much with them there). Alyssa says her kids have never even seen the snow in their life, but John replies that well that way they have something to look forward when they grow up (i was pleasantly surprised to see than even the fans in the comments were not happy with John reply here).
• Wich one of your kids you think its most like you? Alyssa says Allie is the most like her (her organiced side) and John says Rhett because he is the only boy. Alyssa says Lexie is the one the most like John and he agrees.
• Are they having a 6th child? John jokes that he is the 6th child (how self aware!) They both agree they will not have more since Alyssas pregnancies are too dificult. But John then adds unless they have an accident, Alyssa looks at him like she wants to murder him.
• What are the negatives of having 5 kids? Alyssa says the negative is having them close together but that it also is the positive. First years were dificult and she remembers the time when she had the 3 as a blur but once they grew up it is nice that they are close together and can do activities together.
• Who is the last Duggar you have spoken to? Alyssa says James and Jana, she talked to them the other day. John says he talked to James when Alyssa was with him on the phone.
• Have you ever drank alcohol? no they never did
• What countries have you visited? Alyssa has been in Guatemala, Romania, Peru and the Bahamas, John starts listing USA states, says its 50 countries in 1 and that he doesnt have a passport and has never travelled abroad except in a cruise to the Bahamas because for that only a birth certificate was required. John says everyone wants to come to the united states why would he want to leave.
• Do your kids have playdates with other kids? yes, in the summer they have playdates at least 3 times a week and they love it.
• Do you have a sunday routine like eating out after church? yes they go to eat at John parents house, John got really excited to tell us how this tradition started in Covid times when they had to watch church from home. John would want to still dress up to watch the service at home in a suit and have the girls in nice dresses and teach them how to be quiet in church. John was sure his father would do the same but Alyssa told him no way. One day their power went out and they had to go eat at John parents house and found out that his father was indeed also in a suit so John could tell Alyssa i told you so wich made him really happy. Alyssa says John is just like his father. 
• What heart condition did you have and it is cured? arrhythmia and yes, she still has to go to the doctor but not as frecuent as before, last time she went they did a stress test and everything looked good. John says they had 2 kids since then so of course she is cured.
• Do you have concerns about Rhett legs and his walking? they got a lot of comments about his walking wich concerned them, Alyssa took him to the doctor who told her its just the normal way some kids walk and to wait until he is older.
• Is john still working from home? how is it going? Not anymore because he had to go back to substitute someone that got injured, but he plans to get back to working from home. And they both said it was going well, although it was an adjustment.
• Did you ever picture yourself having 5 kids? they both agreed to have a big family and wanted to have their kids when still young.
• -redditors speculate that you dont take the kids anywhere except church and Cotsco- John laughts and jokes what else do you need?  Alyssa says that actually the girls do karate 2 nights a week and John does softball 2 nights a week, they are on church programs on sundays, playdates with friends and they are part of a homeschool co-op where they meet once a week, John adds that they go to Publix sometimes too!
• Do you have non christian friends? John says it would be judgemental to say no but inmediatly adds that you naturally gravitate towards people that you have things in common, John gives as an example that most of their friends also have 3 or 4 kids too because "only crazy people do that", Alyssa says that a lot of their friends are in church or they meet trough churches, John thinks that you are not gonna hang out  with someone you are not likeminded...but oh well Alyssa assures us that despite all of this of course they do have friends of all backgrounds and probably from all religions too.
• How john relationship with rhett differs from his relationship with the girls? he can be rougher  with him than the girls, he loves to tease and wrestle, the girls didnt like that as much, with them he has to hug them and toss them in the hair but not too high because they get scared, Alyssa says Rhett wants to impress John and would grunt and wants John to see him as manly. 
• Are you considering moving to a bigger house? Alyssa says they cant afford it the way the marked is right now, but her dream house would have 2 more bedrooms, one extra for the kids and one as a guest room so they can have a separate office. John says this house is already their dream house.

How can she stand him? He’s like the opposite of the kind of guy I’m attracted to. My husband would never say any of that shit. 

[Coconut Flan]

He's lucky he hasn't been smothered in his sleep.

[Giraffe]

Wow. I haven't seen him but just reading @llucie synopsis he sounds insufferable!

[Mrs Ms]

Man, he used to come across as such a good match for her and as SUCH a proud girl-dad. What a nosedive!!

[GreenBeans]

6 hours ago, llucie said:

Alyssa says that doesnt count because they went there to help out and a vacation is when you are in a hotel, do activities, spend money, like for example a skiing trip like the one John did on his own! John says the kids are too small for that

How about just going somewhere the kids WOULD enjoy? It doesn’t need to be skiing or a cruise or Disney world or a fancy hotel. The could just rent a house somewhere close to a beach, go to a national park, whatever. There are a million child-friendly vacation possibilities. I feel sorry for these kids if they’ve never been on a family vacation.

6 hours ago, llucie said:

Wich one of your kids you think its most like you? Alyssa says Allie is the most like her (her organiced side) and John says Rhett because he is the only boy.

What a narrow view (but yeah, it’s fundies so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised…). My son is SO MUCH like me. He’s a boy, but that doesn’t matter. It’s so many small habits and personality traits… I love that he’s so similar to me in  many ways, it makes me feel really close to him. Such a shame that fundies miss out on that because they only look for similarities in kids of the same sex…

6 hours ago, llucie said:

John says everyone wants to come to the united states why would he want to leave.

Ugh. Again, such a narrow world view.

[llucie]

1 hour ago, GreenBeans said:

How about just going somewhere the kids WOULD enjoy? It doesn’t need to be skiing or a cruise or Disney world or a fancy hotel. The could just rent a house somewhere close to a beach, go to a national park, whatever. There are a million child-friendly vacation possibilities. I feel sorry for these kids if they’ve never been on a family vacation.

And i understand not bringing the baby skiing, but what about Allie who is 9, wouldnt she have enjoyed seeing the snow for the first time in life with her dad? shouldnt he as a father look towards giving his daughter such a happy childhood memory?? She will be a teen soon and she has not even had a family vacation with her parents.

But anyway after hearing this Q&A i legit feel sorry for Alyssa, no wonder she is so bored all the time, she doesnt get to have any hobbies or do anything outside the house that its not for others. John sounds exhausting.

[JermajestyDuggar]

So I am kind of weird about vacations in my family. Everyone in my family makes a point of taking these big vacations states away. But never want to take these big long expensive trips with my kids. I prefer to take 4 day vacations here and there. And they aren’t super far away. Maybe a state over. Or only a few hours travel. But I always plan them in a way that’s fun for my kids. They always have a place to swim, or kayak, or explore. Alyssa and John could just go somewhere else in Florida with the girls. Just a few hours away. There’s lots to do in Florida. It might only be for 3 or 4 days and the kids would still have a great time. 

[postscript]

Thank you for taking one for the team. I have a pretty high tolerance for Bates family videos, but based on John’s comments I would have had to switch this one off. He really is a jackass. Many of their family decisions (lack of outside activities for the girls, for instance) make so much more sense after hearing his views. 

good to hear Alyssa is standing firm on no more kids. I’m not convinced they won’t have at least one more oops baby. John will never agree to get the skip. Too damaging to his masculine pride to be shooting blanks. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

48 minutes ago, postscript said:

Thank you for taking one for the team. I have a pretty high tolerance for Bates family videos, but based on John’s comments I would have had to switch this one off. He really is a jackass. Many of their family decisions (lack of outside activities for the girls, for instance) make so much more sense after hearing his views. 

good to hear Alyssa is standing firm on no more kids. I’m not convinced they won’t have at least one more oops baby. John will never agree to get the skip. Too damaging to his masculine pride to be shooting blanks. 

I hope that they have a little scare at some point that forces her to head to the gyno to find some options. Because I bet they currently use condoms. And I hope she can do something more effective like an IUD. 

[FiveAcres]

17 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I hope that they have a little scare at some point that forces her to head to the gyno to find some options. Because I bet they currently use condoms. And I hope she can do something more effective like an IUD. 

My vote would be that she get an implant on the QT and keep up with the condoms as well. A lot of men who want to keep their wives barefoot and pregnant are not above BC sabotage.

[gobucks]

To be fair, they rent a beach house every year with John's entire family. I agree with Alyssa though that going to South Carolina to visit aging great grandparents isn't a vacation, it is a family trip. John also said the girls didn't like being tossed into the air as high as Rhett does, not that he treats them gently because they are girls. The word that comes to mind when I think of John is smarmy but I guess that makes sense since he says that he is just like his dad. 

Edited July 20 by gobucks

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, gobucks said:

To be fair, they rent a beach house every year with John's entire family. I agree with Alyssa though that going to South Carolina to visit aging great grandparents isn't a vacation, it is a family trip. John also said the girls didn't like being tossed into the air as high as Rhett does, not that he treats them gently because they are girls. The word that comes to mind when I think of John is smarmy but I guess that makes sense since he says that he is just like his dad. 

I think fundie men are raised to be smarmy. To be better than you. To be better than women. To be closer to god. To be super mega special. I can’t imagine raising my boys like that. 

[Kiki03910]

19 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

How can she stand him? He’s like the opposite of the kind of guy I’m attracted to. My husband would never say any of that shit. 

I mean, she probably initially liked him because he's hot. He'd be hotter with his mouth taped shut permanently, alas.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, Kiki03910 said:

I mean, she probably initially liked him because he's hot. He'd be hotter with his mouth taped shut permanently, alas.

That probably happens a lot when you marry the person you thought was hot as a teen. 

[Kiki03910]

8 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That probably happens a lot when you marry the person you thought was hot as a teen. 

Oh fuck yes. I met my bf when I was 18 lol. I only want to tape his mouth shut sometimes, though, not permanently.

[GreenBeans]

12 hours ago, gobucks said:

To be fair, they rent a beach house every year with John's entire family.

Yes, but that’s again visiting family not an actual vacation. They do the actual vacationing and traveling (skiing, didn’t they go on a cruise as well?) without their kids. 
 

15 hours ago, postscript said:

good to hear Alyssa is standing firm on no more kids. I’m not convinced they won’t have at least one more oops baby.

At least that will hopefully mean more spacing. I guess for the kids it’s better when there is more spacing, because they get more parent time and it takes away the utter exhaustion of “5 under 5” (or however many).

For the parents I guess spaces closer together is better, because they’ll be done with child care and have their kids out the house while they are still young-ish. How old is Alyssa? She got married super young, right? If you start having kids at 19, even if you have 5, if they are spaced close together, you’ll have them out the house by the time you’re 40/45.

[CaptainFunderpants]

2 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

For the parents I guess spaces closer together is better, because they’ll be done with child care and have their kids out the house while they are still young-ish. How old is Alyssa? She got married super young, right? If you start having kids at 19, even if you have 5, if they are spaced close together, you’ll have them out the house by the time you’re 40/45.

If they do things Bates-style, the girls'll be out right at 18 while Rhett'll be at home several more years.

And honestly, I bet Allie and Lexi'll leave the coop ASAP and unlike her they'll use a reliable form of birth control from the get-go.