John and Alyssa Webster 14: Is It Time to Say the Family Is Complete?

[Audrey2]

It does not shock me at all the Allie is doing childcare and at least some of the cooking and cleaning. It also does not surprise me at all that Alyssa does not want that to get out so she tried to correct Allie when she was probably telling something closer to the truth than what we want to know.

Edited Saturday at 06:37 PM by Audrey2

[JermajestyDuggar]

Oh I can guarantee Allie is doing childcare with cooking and cleaning. And by that I mean simple things. I imagine she’s picking up toys and wiping off the table. She’s probably getting easy snack and drinks for the kids. She can probably make toast and cereal for them. I doubt she’s doing any real cooking by herself. Just that she’s preparing food for the younger kids and she’s calling it cooking. And Allie is 9. I have a 9 year old and he loves to cook and help out too. But I would never put him in charge of little kids like Rhett and Maci.

[Audrey2]

I started 4-H when I was 9 and the summer I was 10 I did a project on mini meals and actually did cook supper for my family from time to time as was required to complete my book. 

I made my first batch of cookies alone (with supervision but I measured everything, mixed everything, and put the trays in and out of the oven) when I was 5 and I made my first pie when I was 10. At 12 I started baking bread.

It's not completely outside of my imagination that Allie may be starting to cook meals for her family. Didn't we hear about Alyssa being one of the family Cooks when she was growing up and doing the bread pizzas?

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, Audrey2 said:

I started 4-H when I was 9 and the summer I was 10 I did a project on mini meals and actually did cook supper for my family from time to time as was required to complete my book. 

I made my first batch of cookies alone (with supervision but I measured everything, mixed everything, and put the trays in and out of the oven) when I was 5 and I made my first pie when I was 10. At 12 I started baking bread.

It's not completely outside of my imagination that Allie may be starting to cook meals for her family. Didn't we hear about Alyssa being one of the family Cooks when she was growing up and doing the bread pizzas?

I started cooking and baking early too. Just because I liked it. But I always had supervision. That’s probably the biggest issue with Allie doing any actual cooking on a stove. 

[raayx01]

2 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

Yes, but would she be cooking and cleaning then?

And even then - they have FIVE kids. Which means Allie has to look after FOUR kids, one of them a toddler. It’s crazily irresponsible.

Its in the morning, Allie gets herself and the girls up, dressed, fed and start on school at like 7 or 8am. Alyssa sleeps in til 10 rolls out of bed, makes her coffee and spends a hour getting ready. She then checks there school and workouts out, but the kids have to sit in the garage and watch her. I get Rhett, but why cant the older ones do something else. When it comes to lunch she has probably started "training" Allie to make the girls something and calling it a fun and exciting activity or responsibility. And will also make her fold all the girls laundry, If Allie says she's doing that to. Alyssa only makes dinner and anxiously waits for John to come home so she can have some adult interaction, but John has already admitted that his favorite time is hen the kids go to bed so he can be alone with Alyssa, so Dad of the year. The entire day Alyssa is on social media. I dont know why Alyssa does this , I know she had a a lot of chores growing up but she wasn't the oldest. That was Michael. I know Erin didn't do much because she was the golden child, but if you hated cooking and cleaning so much as a kid why make Allie do it. 

[Audrey2]

53 minutes ago, raayx01 said:

Its in the morning, Allie gets herself and the girls up, dressed, fed and start on school at like 7 or 8am. Alyssa sleeps in til 10 rolls out of bed, makes her coffee and spends a hour getting ready. She then checks there school and workouts out, but the kids have to sit in the garage and watch her. I get Rhett, but why cant the older ones do something else. When it comes to lunch she has probably started "training" Allie to make the girls something and calling it a fun and exciting activity or responsibility. And will also make her fold all the girls laundry, If Allie says she's doing that to. Alyssa only makes dinner and anxiously waits for John to come home so she can have some adult interaction, but John has already admitted that his favorite time is hen the kids go to bed so he can be alone with Alyssa, so Dad of the year. The entire day Alyssa is on social media. I dont know why Alyssa does this , I know she had a a lot of chores growing up but she wasn't the oldest. That was Michael. I know Erin didn't do much because she was the golden child, but if you hated cooking and cleaning so much as a kid why make Allie do it. 

 Kelly seemed to outsource as much child care and home care as possible to her daughters, so Alyssa probably sees it as her right as the woman of the house.

[Giraffe]

I cooked simple meals at a young age, too. But Allie's also babysitting and cleaning during that time? C'mon Alyssa & John. That's just lazy and irresponsible of you to make your daughter do all of that! And even though Alyssa says it's "only" when she's babysitting that could end up being nearly daily!

[Audrey2]

22 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

I cooked simple meals at a young age, too. But Allie's also babysitting and cleaning during that time? C'mon Alyssa & John. That's just lazy and irresponsible of you to make your daughter do all of that! And even though Alyssa says it's "only" when she's babysitting that could end up being nearly daily!

I will argue that this is the way Alyssa and Michaela were treated growing up, and instead of saying, "this isn't right and I'm going to do better for my kids", Alyssa is thinking "oh cool it's my turn to have my kids take care of the house, cooking, and each other and I can do a few things I want."

[marmalade]

That doesn't make it right. Alyssa is doing nothing to break the cycle. 

[candygirl200413]

I'm a little surprise people are questioning this, like Alyssa is pretty lazy and if you watch their family videos she's usually ignoring Allie and doing a lot of the work for a child (and no it is not the same as growing up and helping, she is the eldest daughter of a woman and man who come from fundie christianity so it's actually child rearing).

[HeartsAFundie]

20 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

How old is Allie? I thought none of Alyssa’s kids was at an age where they’d be old enough to be babysitting.

Allie is 9 1/2.  Will be 10 next year.  Born in March 2015. 

[0 kids n not countin]

11 minutes ago, HeartsAFundie said:

Allie is 9 1/2.  Will be 10 next year.  Born in March 2015. 

I believe her birthday is the 11th of April, same as Carlin, why I remember this, who knows.🤦🏽‍♀️

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

21 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Oh I can guarantee Allie is doing childcare with cooking and cleaning. And by that I mean simple things. I imagine she’s picking up toys and wiping off the table. She’s probably getting easy snack and drinks for the kids. She can probably make toast and cereal for them. I doubt she’s doing any real cooking by herself. Just that she’s preparing food for the younger kids and she’s calling it cooking. And Allie is 9. I have a 9 year old and he loves to cook and help out too. But I would never put him in charge of little kids like Rhett and Maci.

There's the difference... You wouldn't put your 9yo in charge of little kids 😏

I remember little Joy trying to lift a kid. Jill and Jana were how old 6 or 7 when they got buddies ? Alyssa would have been pretty young ahead of sooo many siblings being born. I wish she wasn't perpetuating the cycle. I haven't watched the video yet, but read about earlier this morning on Bates subreddit. Just sad.

I had age-appropriate chores, and some that I got a pass on, too. Helped watch a sibling and older sibling(s) watched me/us, but totally different scenario. Not parentified.

Poor Allie. And the girls, because a sister mom doesn't replace a mom, either. 

[HeartsAFundie]

2 hours ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

I believe her birthday is the 11th of April, same as Carlin, why I remember this, who knows.🤦🏽‍♀️

I think you are right.  I knew it was sometime in the early spring.  I think Alyssa having that group party for all the girls in March threw me off. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I haven't watched the video, and probably won't - but I'm surprised they left that in.  Not that it does anything but confirm what was suspected about the parentification of Allie, but they really don't seem to realize how bad it makes them look.  I had a small pie baking business by that age and was helping my mom cook - or doing the cooking - most nights.  It was part of my chores, but I don't feel like my load was heavy.  I enjoyed cooking/baking and I wasn't having to look after 4 younger siblings or cook for a family of 7.

CheerfullyU indeed... maybe for everyone but Allie.

[AussieKrissy]

16 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:CheerfullyU indeed... maybe for everyone but Allie.

And that could be the winner for the next thread title imo lol sadly so true 

16 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

CheerfullyU indeed... maybe for everyone but Allie.

See above 

[Coconut Flan]

Carry on here: