Bro Gary Hawkins 24: Smoking Meat

[thoughtful]

OK, folks - way back at the end of April, I recapped some of a sermon Gary gave as a guest preacher, and never finished. I feel remiss - I must find out what he said about Fay-roh!

First post here, for context:

Spoiler

 

 Gary reads, with many errors:

Quote

41 And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, See, I have set thee over all the land of Egypt.

42 And Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph's hand, and arrayed him in vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck;

43 And he made him to ride in the second chariot which he had; and they cried before him, Bow the knee: and he made him ruler over all the land of Egypt.

"Now, before we get to th'story of this part raht here, when you start over in chapter lahk ah guess it's lahk in the lahk 37 ah believe it is or somethin',  when Josephs comes on th'scene, what happens t'Joseph? Ah mean Joseph, his father, an' you can even go farther back than that, when he was born an' everything, Joseph's father made him a coat of many collars."

"Joseph, actually, Joseph even, ah mean, uh, Isaac - Jacob even said that, uh, that, uh, Joseph was his favorite child. Now ah don't really agree with that, an' everything, but listen hey - we shouldn't have  favorite children amen? But whatever you wanna use in the story but it was a story the part ah mean Joseph was doing good, Joseph was workin' for his father, Joseph had it all!"

"Then all of a sudden, his worl' got turned upside down. He got stoled - he got sold inta slavery. He was even put inna peeyut. He was even tolda lah on that - th'coata many collars that he was - that he had been killed bah some - bah some wahld animal."

"An fer all, what is it? Ah believe about 13 years, 'cause our pastor we just got done with Ginisis a few months back or whatever, but 13 years - Joseph was in  prison. Layin' there, settin' there in prison, hey, he even said somethin' t'the butlers an' ever'thing, hey! 'When ya git - whenever ya git out, please don't forgit about me, don't give up on me, let people know about me!' What happened? They even turned their backs on 'im."

"Ah wanna let you know somethin' - the worl's not gonna be your friend. Ah, ah agree with him one hunnerd percent when it comes listen hey - we're the laht of the worl', we claim that we're gonna be Christians, we're saved people, guess what? We gotta be nice. Hey, bein' forward ah don't really see anything wrong with that. If y'believe somethin', ya really ought t'let people know you believe it, amen? Am ah makin' sense this mornin'? Amen?"

Well, I'm exhausted. More later.

Gary sure does make those bible stories come to life and be relevant, doesn't he?

 

Edited July 18 by thoughtful
fixing formatting

[Xan]

This is one of those times when Gary asks, "Am ah makin' sense this morning'? Amen?"--  I would have answered "No".

This is another one of those Bible stories that I never liked.  Jacob shouldn't have shown such favoritism.  It isn't as if he didn't know how that messes up a family.  And then the Bible almost makes Joseph a saint because he suffered for so long.  And Gary's point was, "We gotta be nice" and "The worl's not gonna be your friend"?

Gary really ought to stick to two or three books of the Bible and just learn them better.  When he goes too far afield, he makes no sense at all.

[griffin]

He could go to that great new King James Bible College!

Edited July 18 by griffin
spelling

[Bluebirdbluebell]

1 hour ago, Xan said:

This is another one of those Bible stories that I never liked.  Jacob shouldn't have shown such favoritism.  It isn't as if he didn't know how that messes up a family.  And then the Bible almost makes Joseph a saint because he suffered for so long.  And Gary's point was, "We gotta be nice" and "The worl's not gonna be your friend"?

There are some versions of the bible that clean up the story of Jacob and Joseph, so that the reader is missing something. Joseph wasn't the arbitrary favorite. He was one of the only biological children of Jacob and Rachel. His brothers who plotted against him were all half brothers. Jacob wanted to marry Rachel, but was tricked into marrying her older sister Leah. The Lord made Leah very fertile to make up for it. Rachel was almost barren until Joseph. (In the meantime, Rachel and Leah both sent their maid servants to have children by Jacob.) Jacob and Rachel were eventually able to have 2 biological children: Joseph and later, Benjamin. Benjamin was too young and not apart of selling Joseph into Egypt. Some versions clean up the story to just say that Rachel and Leah are the bio-moms of all the kids and Joseph just happens to be the favorite, but this is incorrect. 

Jacob's father-in-law arguably started the problem when he tricked Jacob into marrying the wrong sister. 

Edited July 18 by Bluebirdbluebell

[Ozlsn]

6 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

There are some versions of the bible that clean up the story of Jacob and Joseph, so that the reader is missing something. Joseph wasn't the arbitrary favorite. He was one of the only biological children of Jacob and Rachel. His brothers who plotted against him were all half brothers. Jacob wanted to marry Rachel, but was tricked into marrying her older sister Leah. The Lord made Leah very fertile to make up for it. Rachel was almost barren until Joseph. (In the meantime, Rachel and Leah both sent their maid servants to have children by Jacob.) Jacob and Rachel were eventually able to have 2 biological children: Joseph and later, Benjamin. Benjamin was too young and not apart of selling Joseph into Egypt. Some versions clean up the story to just say that Rachel and Leah are the bio-moms of all the kids and Joseph just happens to be the favorite, but this is incorrect. 

Jacob's father-in-law arguably started the problem when he tricked Jacob into marrying the wrong sister. 

They really don't do Biblical marriage like they used to.

I think the best part of Gary's retelling is struggling to remember any of the names or relationships, that's what people look for in a preacher. Although I can see all the women in the story going through all the kids names until they hit the right one!

[thoughtful]

10 hours ago, Xan said:

This is one of those times when Gary asks, "Am ah makin' sense this morning'? Amen?"--  I would have answered "No".

You and me both, sister! That is literally sound-for-sound (I really can't call it word-for-word) what came out of his mouth. I wasn't planning to type so much of it out. But I started with what he was saying right after the reading, because it was so bizarre, and the weirdness never stopped, so I just kept on going.

Among other Garyisms, why read starting in verse 41, then go on and on about things that happened earlier in the story? Why not plan to read from the earlier stuff? Several parts of the story of Joseph fit his "life got turned upside-down" theme.

Gary is such a mental mess.

[thoughtful]

Becky posted an invitation:

Hope she's not just trifling with us. 😁

[thoughtful]

When I saw "schools will soon start back soon," I was ready for some bullshit about prayer and guns being needed, the evils of public schools, or cat litter.

But no, it's just an ad for the Kollege of KJV Knowledge.

[thoughtful]

Gary posted a link to this, with "OK folks, check this out."

https://www.facebook.com/jeff.littrell.5/videos/1557750021840124/

For those who can't access Facebook - someone took the opening credits of The Dukes of Hazzard and put in the faces of Trump, Vance, etc. Screenshots:

Spoiler

 

 

 

Edited July 26 by thoughtful
missing word

[Hane]

@thoughtful, please be aware that I am not eye-rolling at you personally, but at the Bizarro-World level of weirdness that is Planet Gary!

[thoughtful]

1 minute ago, Hane said:

@thoughtful, please be aware that I am not eye-rolling at you personally, but at the Bizarro-World level of weirdness that is Planet Gary!

I know, I know.

I use that reaction myself - sometimes we just have to respond to how weird the disgusting, disgraceful, dishonest discussees are, not the poster.

Yeah, I know "discussee" isn't a word, but shouldn't it be? I mean, I couldn't get that alliteration with "subjects of our posts" now, could I? 😁

[Ozlsn]

7 hours ago, Hane said:

@thoughtful, please be aware that I am not eye-rolling at you personally, but at the Bizarro-World level of weirdness that is Planet Gary!

Whereas I am very amused that 8 years after the fact they are still hung up on Hillary Clinton. Guys, she's just not that into you and has moved on with her life... get over it?

(also is Vance's wife in there at all?)

[thoughtful]

13 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

(also is Vance's wife in there at all?)

Of course not!

[Xan]

I always find these Trump fantasy worlds very bizarre.  He's never in a nice suit meeting a world leader or even in a fireman's suit saving a child from a burning building.  It's always some fake macho outfit and, in this case, driving a car with a Confederate flag on it.  Their heroes don't seem that heroic.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

3 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Whereas I am very amused that 8 years after the fact they are still hung up on Hillary Clinton. Guys, she's just not that into you and has moved on with her life... get over it?

(also is Vance's wife in there at all?)

I agree. They also included Rush Limbaugh, who is dead.  I also don't really understand why Dan Scavino is there. Maybe they updated something from 2016. After reading the link below, I think there is really one female character in the Dukes of Hazzard, which is why Vance's wife is out. Hillary is cast as a male bad guy.

1 hour ago, Xan said:

I always find these Trump fantasy worlds very bizarre.  He's never in a nice suit meeting a world leader or even in a fireman's suit saving a child from a burning building.  It's always some fake macho outfit and, in this case, driving a car with a Confederate flag on it.  Their heroes don't seem that heroic.

It's based on old American television show from the 1980s. It was called the Dukes of Hazzard (Hazzard being a county in Georgia) (link). There was also a movie in 2005 with different people.

[Joyster]

Gary had another sales pitch for the King James Bible College, and he hasn’t had sweets in a month. He wants to be around to Godbother people.

I was going to leave this next piece of information unsaid because I thought Gary’s kids should be able to lead their own lives without snarking just because of who they are related to, and they did not have an easy childhood. However, Caleb appears to be picking up more of Gary’s mannerisms- hay-man. Caleb and Sarah appeared to have been separated since June or May. Caleb has been living in King’s Ferry, NY (home of Chris Howe and Gary’s King James Correspondence college) and did popcorn preaching there. Sarah is still in North Carolina, and there are several indicators that Caleb did some thing(s) that has created a negative change in their relationship. Caleb started his own landscaping business, Caleb’s Cute Landscaping, with the help of Pastor Howe. Caleb seems to be trying to win Sarah back by posting old photos of her or them together. Sarah asked him to take the last photo down, but he ignored it. Caleb posted this and the “convection” Gary raised him with is helping Caleb be another Gary. It’s sad.

Spoiler

 

 

Edited August 5 by Joyster
Removed duplicate screenshot

[FiveAcres]

6 hours ago, Joyster said:

Gary had another sales pitch for the King James Bible College, and he hasn’t had sweets in a month. He wants to be around to Godbother people.

I was going to leave this next piece of information unsaid because I thought Gary’s kids should be able to lead their own lives without snarking just because of who they are related to, and they did not have an easy childhood. However, Caleb appears to be picking up more of Gary’s mannerisms- hay-man. Caleb and Sarah appeared to have been separated since June or May. Caleb has been living in King’s Ferry, NY (home of Chris Howe and Gary’s King James Correspondence college) and did popcorn preaching there. Sarah is still in North Carolina, and there are several indicators that Caleb did some thing(s) that has created a negative change in their relationship. Caleb started his own landscaping business, Caleb’s Cute Landscaping, with the help of Pastor Howe. Caleb seems to be trying to win Sarah back by posting old photos of her or them together. Sarah asked him to take the last photo down, but he ignored it. Caleb posted this and the “convection” Gary raised him with is helping Caleb be another Gary. It’s sad.

  Hide contents

 

 

It is sad that he sounds like a chip off the old block: almost totally incoherent and still thinking he is God's gift to the world.

[TacoBellKimmy]

1 hour ago, FiveAcres said:

It is sad that he sounds like a chip off the old block: almost totally incoherent and still thinking he is God's gift to the world.

Oh boy, I had to take a look at his Facebook page. You aren't wrong at all! What a mess.

[postscript]

I also trotted over to Caleb’s Facebook page. He sounds exactly like Gary. It even looks like they were trying to set up a traveling preacher ministry just like Gary and had to come off the road, just like Gary. Whatever is going on, at least they haven’t brought kids into the mix.

[Jasmar]

What the heck is a big hay man?

[Joyster]

“Hay man” is amen so a big amen. They’re not purists with their amens.

[Joyster]

Gary has been posting. First, he complains that nobody ever gossips about how he helped them 😀. He stole this one off of Pastor Baker’s page and added the “Ok folks this is true. Bro Gary Hawkins”.  

And Gary’s encouraging the very simple JUST BIBLE college again where you can earn a “real” degree conferred by a board of directors!

Spoiler

The next post was about the violence in video games, which I agree with him about. Has Hell frozen over? I’m agreeing with Gary. 
 

Spoiler

 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Not just any degree, but a "real Bachelor's Degree"!  

[griffin]

But it's not a Bachelor's degree! It's a "Bachelor degree" or a "Bachelors degree"

Edited August 8 by griffin
punctation

[thoughtful]

Gary has been posting:

Spoiler

I quoted the rest, rather than screenshotting, becuase it's long:

Quote

Pastor Stacey Shiflett

  ·

TRUMP OR HARRIS OR NEITHER?

In Mark 12:13-17, when asked if was lawful to pay taxes to the evil Roman empire, Jesus, "knowing their hypocrisy" (vs. 15) told them to pay it. FYI - It was the Romans that nailed Jesus to a cross. They literally martyred untold millions of Christians during their reign. Still, Jesus said, "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's." And they marvelled at him. I think even more people today probably marvel at this.

I'm pretty sure Caesar was much worse than anybody we have running for public office today. The virtue signaling and nonstop rants about the evils of the big, bad, orange, convicted felon look pretty silly in comparison to what Caesar represented. Jesus told the religious leaders and His disciples that they should pay taxes to Caesar, which in essence financed the Roman Empire's war on Christianity. Jesus himself even paid taxes to Caesar. (Matt. 17:25-27) So, you might seriously want to re-think your strategy to sit this election out. Do you really want to do nothing to stop the socialistic, humanistic, God-denying, Christian-despising, Bible-hating Marxists from getting into the Oval Office?

Donald Trump is not a righteous man. He's not even a Christian in my opinion. I doubt he's ever been saved. He certainly doesn't act like it. He's vulgar, vain, proud and petty. He gets on my nerves more often than not.

Trump is not godly. Not even close. But he does not hate the godly. He is not righteous, but he doesn't hate the righteous. He does not hate Christians, or the Bible or America. He does not despise everything that I stand for, everything that I love and everything that this nation was founded on. The other side does. And that is why I will be voting for Trump in November. Honestly, I'd vote for a broken jar of pickles if it meant keeping Harris and Walz out of the White House, and I'm not joking.

I'm not voting for Trump because of his proven record of common sense economic savvy, secure borders, America First policies, peace through strength, an undeniable pro-life stance and the fact he appointed three conservative judges to the Supreme Court that got Roe v. Wade overturned. I'm in favor of all of that, but that is not why I am voting for him this time around.

I’m not even voting for him because they impeached him, spied on him, lied on him, smeared him, sued him, charged him, arrested him, convicted him, shot him in the head and are still trying to imprison him.

I am voting for him because he doesn't hate me, my family, my church, my values and my Christianity. He will not wake up every day with a diabolical agenda to try his best to obstruct what God has called me to do and our church to do. He doesn't plan to undermine, dismantle and destroy everything that I believe in. The other side does. It's just that simple. I can't say it any clearer than that.

If that bothers you, tough. I cannot with a clear conscience sit this election out. If you can, then do it. "Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind." Romans 14:5

But there is far too much at stake for me to not exercise my American and civic duty to vote, (not that it even matters here in Maryland.) I'm not convinced this election process will be any less corrupt or rigged than the last one. But I have to try. I will render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's and unto God the things that are God's.

And because I simply don't want to hear people telling me that I don't love God, I'm not Christ-like or that I am lost because of my position, comments are disabled. Share or ignore this post; whatever floats your boat.

 

 

More from Gary:

Spoiler

He also posted the videos of yesterday's services at Family Baptist, with exhortations that we need to listen to them.