Bro Gary Hawkins 24: Smoking Meat

[Carol]

Thoughtful, can you or someone else please show me how to access Gary's history on FJ?  I really need to laugh and going back to the very beginning would be a treat.  Thanks in advance.
PS you deserve some kind of large reward for sticking with him all these years.  I love to laugh and your interpretations of his sermons are hilarious.

Edited September 19 by Carol

[Joyster]

Page 23 and Bro Gary is approaching the time when the powers that be will start a new thread. We need to start giving ideas for thread titles. I can’t wait for smoking meat to go away.

Tim of Scripture Preach On? 
Doordashing against Helloween? 

You will come up with better!
 

@Carol, usually I click at the name in yellow under the thread title and all the older threads show, but this is not the case with Gary. Only the last two show up under Bro Gary. When I went to the oldest and clicked on the link in the first post for the previous, I got 11 more threads (arrange under just Gary this time). Here is the link for that:Gary 13-22. I went to the oldest one on those and found 11-12(under Hawkins): Gary 11-12. From there you just have to keep going back to the oldest thread’s first post. I don’t know if this makes sense. 
 

ETA: @postscript has a better suggestion. I sometimes take a backwards approach.

Edited September 19 by Joyster

[postscript]

1 hour ago, Carol said:

Thoughtful, can you or someone else please show me how to access Gary's history on FJ?  I really need to laugh and going back to the very beginning would be a treat.  Thanks in advance.
PS you deserve some kind of large reward for sticking with him all these years.  I love to laugh and your interpretations of his sermons are hilarious.

Under Archived Topical Threds/Families & Individuals/Bro Gary Hawkins. The early threads, when he was sitting in a recliner dong random Facebook sermonettes, are absolute comedy gold. Just be careful if you click on any photo under a spoiler. His food photos make Jill Rodrigues’ meals look appetizing. 

[Carol]

Thank you, I found the earliest threads and have been reading them.  How did I ever forget that Bro Gary said, "there is an epidemic of children being born without the mother present"?   Fucking miracles!

I forgot that Coi Koy found him.  Does anyone know if she still posts here?  Does Bro Gary still have a FB page?

Edited September 19 by Carol

[thoughtful]

Thanks to @postscript and @Joyster for helping @Carol. We had company for three days, and yesterday, after the company left, a visiting nurse for my Mom and a piano lesson, and I needed to get all of the dairy stuff I'd bought for guests out of my mother's fridge and into mine, to make sure she didn't accidentally eat any. So I've had very little FJ time this week.

9 hours ago, Carol said:

  Does Bro Gary still have a FB page?

I can answer this question - here you go:

https://www.facebook.com/ghawkins38

[thoughtful]

I guess a case against a dead guy can't be prosecuted:

Quote

A case involving an aggravated sexual battery charge of a minor against long-time Columbia pastor David M. Baker, 57, has been abated due to the pastor's death on Sept. 11.

Baker died by apparent suicide just a day after he was arrested and charged by the Maury County Sheriff's Office on Sept. 10. An arrest affidavit obtained from Mt. Pleasant General Sessions Court shows Baker was charged with aggravated sexual battery involving a minor family member between the estimated timeframe of Dec. 9, 2013 and Dec. 9, 2015.

Mt. Pleasant General Sessions Judge J. Lee Bailey, III dismissed the case on Sept. 13 due to the death of Baker.

https://www.columbiadailyherald.com/story/news/crime/2024/09/16/judge-dismisses-sexual-battery-case-against-deceased-columbia-pastor/75251689007/

[thoughtful]

Gary being Gary:

[Xan]

Honestly, Gary doesn't need his cutesy slogans.  He could just print out "I always vote for Republicans!"  That's all it ever is.  He just hates Democrats and he doesn't even know what anyone stands for.  Trump wouldn't let Gary in the front gate at Mar-a-Lago but Gary will still vote for him and wear that stupid red hat.

[Jasmar]

How about instead:

I’m gonna stick with the woman not dodging debates.

[thoughtful]

Gary updated his profile photo to the pic of Becky at her birthday meal:

Spoiler

Does that look say "I adore you" or "I can't believe what an idiot you are?"

When complimented on the picture, Becky posted:

Spoiler

I'm guessing that's a reference to the fact that she's recovering from whatever surgery she had (Gary mentioned it  was upcoming in his sermon on 9/15).

[Joyster]

Gary would love to be your Columbia area dealer guy for only $6 plus tip. This was in response to a pizza place opening in front of the Walmart.

And, not really Gary related, but when I was researching something Gary-related that turned out to be nothing, I found this snicker worthy post on a page of a person who commented about something. 🙄 with the reaction of the church.

Spoiler

 

[MariaariaM]

Well, if those are the only options... I can't have Snickers because of allergies: does Jesus have nuts?

[MayMay1123]

Does Gary not understand the implications of him saying he's a "dealer"? Even if it is pizza. I don't think he's capable of that level of humor. 

[Alisamer]

I'm thankful Gary now lives in Tennessee, and will be presumably voting there. Assuming he bothered to move his voter registration. I'd check on the NC registry but there are too many people named "Gary Hawkins".

I don't think Tennessee is terribly consequential in the voting stakes, usually. North Carolina however could go either way, and I'm desperately hoping we swing blue this time.

[thoughtful]

14 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

Does Gary not understand the implications of him saying he's a "dealer"? Even if it is pizza. I don't think he's capable of that level of humor. 

I chalked it up to his usual malapropism, substituting "dealer" for "delivery person."

Just now, Alisamer said:

I don't think Tennessee is terribly consequential in the voting stakes, usually. North Carolina however could go either way, and I'm desperately hoping we swing blue this time.

When he lived in NC, Gary used to bitch and moan about Governor Cooper, and occasionally praise Mark  Robinson. I'm glad he's out of there, too (with apologies to decent Tennsseeans).

[thoughtful]

Gary you've still got more than a month for this crap. Don't burn yourself out.

Spoiler

It's not accepted by Christ? How do you know?

Spoiler

 

I was going to make this picture smaller, but, when I looked at the proportions, the width  came up as 666, and that was too good to change.

 

[Xan]

Latest comment on Gary's Halloween post:

Wow.  That went to a dark place really fast...

[GingerCinnamon]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary you've still got more than a month for this crap. Don't burn yourself out.

  Hide contents

It's not accepted by Christ? How do you know?

  Reveal hidden contents

 

I was going to make this picture smaller, but, when I looked at the proportions, the width  came up as 666, and that was too good to change.

What I can't figure out is why Gary hates Halloween...it contains his favorite word: ween!

Edited 12 hours ago by GingerCinnamon
Trying (but failing) to get my words in the right place!

[thoughtful]

14 minutes ago, GingerCinnamon said:

What I can't figure out is why Gary hates Halloween...it contains his favorite word: ween!

Well, his weens have to be saved Baptist KJV-only bible-believin' weens! Them evil witches and goblins are tryin' to claim his holy weens!