Bro Gary Hawkins 24: Smoking Meat

[keepercjr]

On 8/4/2024 at 9:18 PM, Joyster said:

Gary had another sales pitch for the King James Bible College, and he hasn’t had sweets in a month. He wants to be around to Godbother people.

I was going to leave this next piece of information unsaid because I thought Gary’s kids should be able to lead their own lives without snarking just because of who they are related to, and they did not have an easy childhood. However, Caleb appears to be picking up more of Gary’s mannerisms- hay-man. Caleb and Sarah appeared to have been separated since June or May. Caleb has been living in King’s Ferry, NY (home of Chris Howe and Gary’s King James Correspondence college) and did popcorn preaching there. Sarah is still in North Carolina, and there are several indicators that Caleb did some thing(s) that has created a negative change in their relationship. Caleb started his own landscaping business, Caleb’s Cute Landscaping, with the help of Pastor Howe. Caleb seems to be trying to win Sarah back by posting old photos of her or them together. Sarah asked him to take the last photo down, but he ignored it. Caleb posted this and the “convection” Gary raised him with is helping Caleb be another Gary. It’s sad.

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I know this is late, but I have not been on a Bro Gary thread in a while.  Caleb's landscaping is actually Caleb's Cuts Landscaping but he misspelled "cuts" and wrote "cutes" on facebook and can't (or doesn't know how to) change it. So it is "Caleb's Cutes Landscaping".  I just feel sorry for him.  He was raised by Gary (and homeschooled? by Becky) and so who else is he supposed to look up to?  Somehow Gary found Becky but good for Sara for not putting up with whatever crap he was doing.  I worry for his future.  It doesn't look very bright.  They were supposed to 3 months on the preaching circuit and didn't even last 3 weeks and it looks like she left him shortly after that. 

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

So it is "Caleb's Cutes Landscaping".

Actually, it's Caleb's Cutes Landscapeing.

Fundy kids are so stunted by their shitty parents.

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61561550970348

[thoughtful]

Gary got a gig!

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Phillip's comment sounds like he's hoping Gary will get a new martial arts or dance skill.

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[AmazonGrace]

I had to look up "weed eating". At first I thought he's doing edibles

The grass withereth is not exactly the bible quote I would choose if I was in the business of making lawns look good.

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[TacoBellKimmy]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Gary got a gig!

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Phillip's comment sounds like he's hoping Gary will get a new martial arts or dance skill.

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I. Am. Rolling. Thank you!

[keepercjr]

16 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Actually, it's Caleb's Cutes Landscapeing.

Fundy kids are so stunted by their shitty parents.

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61561550970348

LOL Yes forgot the (in)correct spelling.  Can you not edit business names on facebook?!

[Expectopatronus]

Oh boy. He’s just as illiterate as his dad. 

[thoughtful]

I want to be sympathetic to Gary. But, between knowing that he probably mostly misses what his mother could do for his comfort and ego, and his choice of a Burma-Shave-worthy poem, he's making it hard.

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[Xan]

I had the same feeling.  I hate to sound like I'm stepping on someone else's grief response but Gary didn't pay his mother that much attention in the final years of her life.  He couldn't even be bothered to drive back to North Carolina from a preaching gig to visit her.  I just think he's trying to get sympathy.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I can't judge Gary's grief for his mother. 

I will say that poem isn't that great, but it's been floating around the internet for a while. It's also better than the poem read at my grandma's funeral. I tried to find the source for Gary's poem, but it seems to be just anonymous.

 

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, Xan said:

I had the same feeling.  I hate to sound like I'm stepping on someone else's grief response but Gary didn't pay his mother that much attention in the final years of her life.  He couldn't even be bothered to drive back to North Carolina from a preaching gig to visit her.  I just think he's trying to get sympathy.

I don't know if Gary is complex enough to post something like that just to get sympathy - that would be a two-part thought process.

I think his feelings are probably genuine. It's just that, knowing what he's like, and, as you said, remembering how little he did for his mother, it just strikes me as the genuine feelings of a selfish man-child.

Edited August 21 by thoughtful
riffle

[mango_fandango]

I was remembering the other day when Caleb was trying to pick up girls on Twitter, posting about how he was at a tent revival meeting, and the girl just was not interested. He was totally oblivious. Fundie kids are hobbled in so many ways, it's just depressing.

[thoughtful]

 

Gary posted: "Ok folks my favorite breakfast. How many know what it is?"

I know - disgusting, that's what it is (Click at your own risk).

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Comments:

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Edited August 21 by thoughtful
so you could look at the comments without needing to look at . . . it.

[postscript]

I was going to post about Gary’s weenie gravy photo, but @thoughtful beat me to it. For anyone who’s tempted to click on that picture, it is not for the faint of heart. This is far from the least appetizing photo Gary has ever posted, but it should not be viewed on a full stomach. 

[Hane]

@thoughtful, thanks for hiding this. I do like traditional biscuits and gravy, but would be hard pressed to find an appetizing pic of them!

[thoughtful]

2 minutes ago, Hane said:

@thoughtful, thanks for hiding this. I do like traditional biscuits and gravy, but would be hard pressed to find an appetizing pic of them!

Yeah, even if it's something delicious, that kind of dish is hard to photograph well. I think it's the very pink pinkness of Gary's version that is the final gagging straw, even for a lot of people who do eat biscuits and gravy.

I'm a no-gravy-ever person, myself, so none of it appeals to me, in pictures or IRL.

[Monkeywrench]

The red weens in ME! WHY?! I agree if it wasn’t pink I don’t think it would be THAT bad. I’ve never known anyone else who makes or eats ween gravy but I can understand on some level that it probably tastes fine. But damn it’s so pink. 

[Xan]

I think I've mentioned before that my mother made bologna gravy.  Disgusting doesn't even begin to describe it.

Gravy is just flour, milk, and the juice and grease that comes out of whatever meat you're using.  Weenie gravy is just milk, flour, and hot dog juice.  In this case, the pinkness is more like a warning sign that it's almost inedible.

My mother loved the taste of bologna so, for her, adding that taste to milk and flour was a plus,  Just looking at it used to make me gag.  Gary's weenie gravy does the same.  Thanks for covering it up, @thoughtful.

[mango_fandango]

As a Brit, I've never tried biscuits in gravy. I'd love to do so, one day. Not the horrible, no good, nasty as fuck "red weens in ME" slop, but proper biscuits and gravy. 

[thoughtful]

Gary's weenie gravy post is getting lots of comments.

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[keepercjr]

17 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I was remembering the other day when Caleb was trying to pick up girls on Twitter, posting about how he was at a tent revival meeting, and the girl just was not interested. He was totally oblivious. Fundie kids are hobbled in so many ways, it's just depressing.

I was thinking about that too!  It is all so unfortunate.

[thoughtful]

Gary's advertising someone else's bible college this time:

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Miller starts the video by asking us to admire the crepe myrtle behind him (for once I could obey the command of a Baptist preacher - I love crepe myrtles), then launches into a routine about a lady who can't afford a whole bag of potatoes or fruit due to inflation. Then he tells us that their classes are free (if you live in their dorms) or half-price (if you commute). I guess those things are supposed to be related to the lady who can't afford produce, somehow.

Then he mentions that the classes are free because people donate to a fund to make them so, and that the college actually doesn't have a lot of money - he says they're struggling. I guess that's just in case anyone who can afford produce would rather spend their money on turning out more preachers.

https://www.facebook.com/EvangelistBruceMiller/videos/958371895722419

Edited August 22 by thoughtful
lots of errors

[TacoBellKimmy]

On 8/20/2024 at 8:05 PM, mango_fandango said:

I was remembering the other day when Caleb was trying to pick up girls on Twitter, posting about how he was at a tent revival meeting, and the girl just was not interested. He was totally oblivious. Fundie kids are hobbled in so many ways, it's just depressing.

I'm not sure I've heard this one? What in the world?

[thoughtful]

25 minutes ago, TacoBellKimmy said:

I'm not sure I've heard this one? What in the world?

 

[Joyster]

Gary’s on a college posting frenzy today. Now he’s trying to motivate ourselves even though most say he can’t. They’re right.

 

I guess he figured he wasn’t motivating us, so he posted a sample course test. 

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Edited August 23 by Joyster