Bro Gary Hawkins 24: Smoking Meat

[postscript]

Gary, that is not a college exam. That is in-depth Bible memorization and indoctrination. It will prepare you for nothing. 

[griffin]

I'd love to meet the Mensa members who wrote that test. One question is (paraphrasing) "God predestined us to adopt children - True or False".

Then, the VERY NEXT question asks "God predestined us to adopt children because a,b or c"

Good grief

 

[Expectopatronus]

What a waste of time! This course will do nothing to enhance students’ understanding or place anything in historical context. It’s just a parrot back certain verses. Don’t little kids do that in Awana? I wonder if the college gives out stickers? 

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

 I wonder if the college gives out stickers? 

And bookmarks!

 

[mango_fandango]

Good grief, those questions! First of all, they weren’t even phrased like questions LMAO. Secondly, the grammar is dreadful. It’s like a child wrote this “quiz”.

[Jasmar]

16 hours ago, griffin said:

I'd love to meet the Mensa members who wrote that test. One question is (paraphrasing) "God predestined us to adopt children - True or False".

Then, the VERY NEXT question asks "God predestined us to adopt children because a,b or c"

Good grief

 

And the very first question, unless one is unfamiliar when to use the definite vs. indefinite article… 😆

[MayMay1123]

Aren't people taking this "course" for a real actual true diploma degree, online? So there's nothing stopping anyone from just filling in the answers while looking at their Bibles? People are paying for this! What a scam...

[thoughtful]

Gary is so excited, pretending that something unique will happen in church today.

[Ozlsn]

On 8/23/2024 at 10:20 AM, Joyster said:

Gary’s on a college posting frenzy today. Now he’s trying to motivate ourselves even though most say he can’t. They’re right.

 

I guess he figured he wasn’t motivating us, so he posted a sample course test. 

  Hide contents

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

I like that behind page one of the "exam" we can see "Angels can speak different languages" and my brain is happily trying to come up with context for this being on a piece of paper under the exam.

Also "we bless ourselves with all spiritual blessings (true/false)"... what?

[AmazonGrace]

Quote

Memory verses must be quoted word for word: any missing or wrong word will be minus one point.

I've got bad news for you. I don't think Gary could pass this test even with his Bible at hand to read from.

Quote

All courses take verses in the King James Bible and make them true or false...

well I mean, what other options are there? the verses are already true or false to begin with

Quote

"what is the Fulness of him that filleth all in all (Head, preaching, long hair, Body)

uh I would hate being filled with hair but if it's the KJB, what can you do

[griffin]

Every day, I check Gary's fb page to make sure I don't miss any pearls of wisdom. Today, I can only see "no posts available" and a place to click to add him as a friend to see his posts. Is anyone else seeing that? 

[thoughtful]

27 minutes ago, griffin said:

Every day, I check Gary's fb page to make sure I don't miss any pearls of wisdom. Today, I can only see "no posts available" and a place to click to add him as a friend to see his posts. Is anyone else seeing that? 

I'm seeing his posts as usual.

[Alisamer]

On 8/21/2024 at 6:51 PM, mango_fandango said:

As a Brit, I've never tried biscuits in gravy. I'd love to do so, one day. Not the horrible, no good, nasty as fuck "red weens in ME" slop, but proper biscuits and gravy. 

There's a cute video on YouTube of some British schoolboys trying proper biscuits and gravy and sweet iced tea, and it's hilariously adorable. They're all like "That looks NASTY!" and then they taste it and are like... "Oh. OH. MMMMMM. So good!" and one keeps going on like "It's gravy, but it's white, and it's on a scone, and that shouldn't work!"

Ween gravy sounds terrible and looks worse than it sounds, IMO. 

On 8/23/2024 at 2:30 AM, mango_fandango said:

Good grief, those questions! First of all, they weren’t even phrased like questions LMAO. Secondly, the grammar is dreadful. It’s like a child wrote this “quiz”.

Well, with Gary involved I wasn't expecting much academic rigor. And Gary would fail right out even copying directly from the Bible most likely, I don't think he's literate enough not to accidentally change or leave out a word writing like he does when reading.

[Joyster]

A lonely young adult posted about wanting similarly aged people to hang out with who enjoy watching football, fishing, and corn hole, etc.

A good number of people respond with offers of archery, bowling, and even squirrel hunting. Of course, Gary thinks hanging out with Gary and whoever else at Family Baptist is just what the guy is looking for. I guess Gary thought listening to KJV preaching with a 52 year old is what the guy meant by “etc”.

Spoiler

 

Edited August 29 by Joyster

[scoutsadie]

Really surprised not to see any commentary about Kamala and the Switch.

Thoughts about why?

[thoughtful]

7 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

Really surprised not to see any commentary about Kamala and the Switch.

Thoughts about why?

He did repost something about Harris being worse than Trump, on 8/16.

Gary's use of Facebook has always been sporadic, and he has posted much less lately. If, in fact, that was actually him that created an account here and he knows he has snarkers, that could be why - the timing seems right.

Spoiler

I'm sure he's saying plenty in private, and if he gets a chance to preach. And I'm guessing it's a mix of his own muddled thoughts and those spoon fed to him by Baker and his other heroes.

I've been wondering if he ever figured out that her last name is Harris, not Harrison - he never even attempted to say her first name in the past, but he might have adopted some of Trump's mispronunciations by now.

 

[Joyster]

Just when I thought Gary had gotten boring, he did a live from his living room. It was about the King James Baptist College, and he just met with the board. He has 4,000 something friends or frienemies, and if everyone shares his video, the college could be promoted in North Carolina, Tennessee, Colorado, Kentucky, New York, uh, uh, uh Missouri and on and on.  Whew, my state was not mentioned for him becoming a viral video. 

Somebody can do a better summary, but here are some highlights:

-The reason we have a lot of confused people is because they are not reading the Bible with an open heart and open thinking. You have to be thinking when you read the Bible. I guess he thinks the multiple choice, fill in the blank, and true/false encourages deep thinking.

-You can take classes 9th to 12th grade and be given a full college diploma.

-You can’t afford even $30? He complains about gas, restaurant, and grocery prices. However, we still do those; we just have to pay it. Plus, if you have a vehicle, he’ll tell you how to make $30, unless you live somewhere like Brother Chris. Gary wants us to know he doesn’t think we should take government money. Work two hours delivering foods for DoorDash and you’ll have it. He then says three hours working and you’ll have a Bible Course. Then when you are ready for the next course, another two hours. He worked yesterday, or maybe it was Friday delivering food. Wait, it was yesterday after his regular job. He worked less than eight hours and made $120. He asks Becky if it was eight or six hours, and he then said six. He didn’t bother to even try to do the math of how many courses that is.

-What do they do with the money? They give it to missions. They send the courses to the prisons to the jail people.

-Folks might not want to take it because they want someone over them. When you got married, you took the woman out of her daddy’s home and became responsible for her financially and everything else. It’s like that. You become responsible for the course🤷‍♀️.

-Let’s say you already know about the Bible and have an extra $30. You can get the course for someone else. 
 

Also, Gary was on the local group yesterday asking about gluten free cakes. He wants to order one for his wife’s birthday on the 11th. I thought it was sweet that he was planning ahead for Becky’s birthday. If he works another two hours, he can also buy her a King James Bible course.

Edited September 4 by Joyster

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 9/3/2024 at 10:18 PM, Joyster said:

-The reason we have a lot of confused people is because they are not reading the Bible with an open heart and open thinking. You have to be thinking when you read the Bible. I guess he thinks the multiple choice, fill in the blank, and true/false encourages deep thinking.

He doesn't want people thinking too much or they might disagree with his interpretations. 

I kind of agree with Gary that more people need to "read the bible with an open heart and open thinking".  That's the problem with fundies, they get set on one interpretation and aren't open to different interpretations of the same text.

On 9/3/2024 at 10:18 PM, Joyster said:

-Folks might not want to take it because they want someone over them. When you got married, you took the woman out of her daddy’s home and became responsible for her financially and everything else. It’s like that. You become responsible for the course🤷‍♀️.

This is the weirdest description I've seen for a "college" course. 😂😂😂

[thoughtful]

Gary has posted, with his usual tech savvy, to make sure we all see the logo for the Kollege, and tell us "on our you get can started today."

Spoiler

 

[MayMay1123]

How the hell are they giving a "bachelor's" degree? That's an insult to actual degrees. Are they just outright lying?

[Xan]

51 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

How the hell are they giving a "bachelor's" degree? That's an insult to actual degrees. Are they just outright lying?

In Gary's defense, he probably has no idea what that means.  We're probably just lucky that he didn't decide that they're awarding "Doctor in Bible" degrees.

[thoughtful]

4 hours ago, Xan said:

In Gary's defense, he probably has no idea what that means. 

Now I'm picturing repeated conversations in which Becky tries to explain to Gary that a bachelor's degree is not something that only unmarried men can have.

[AmazonGrace]

On one hand. If the sample that was posted was representative then calling this a college education is a scam. 

On the other. There are some clues .. and if somebody is stupid enough to pay for this they deserve to be scammed 

[Joyster]

I’m going to start with the positive. Gary took Becky out for her birthday, and she got an I love you.

And now the negative. As expected, the debate did not change who Gary is voting for, and it was also clear Gary didn’t understand much. Gary, what passed on and down on Donald Trump that Vice President Harris kept mentioning? 

Spoiler

[thoughtful]

Hey, he's learned that her name is not "that Harrison woman." It's a miracle!