Maxwells 59: On the Road Again

[Fluffles]

Didn't Chelsea persuade Sarah to try online dating. I wonder was that before or after she escaped from Maxhell. Steve must really hate Chelsea by now. I bet he's convinced she is a bad influence on all the girls.

[moreorlessnu]

She looks fantastic. It's wonderful to see picture after picture of her looking so genuinely happy. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

3 hours ago, Fluffles said:

Didn't Chelsea persuade Sarah to try online dating. I wonder was that before or after she escaped from Maxhell. Steve must really hate Chelsea by now. I bet he's convinced she is a bad influence on all the girls.

Chelsy had a friend who convinced Sarah to try on-line dating.  As far as we know, that was after she moved out. I think Chelsy gets too much credit, especially if you read the Bontrager threads.

[frumperlicious]

When I was first considering home schooling, my neighbor who did so gave me a bunch of books she had on the topic. She most liked Terri’s “meek” book, and it freaked me right out 😂. I did enjoy her least favorite book however, go figure. 

Ive been following them for so many years and it truly wonderful to see Sarah so very happy and free. 

[SPHASH]

Sarah looks great! Korey too.  Suck that Steve!

[Bethy]

11 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I think Chelsy gets too much credit, especially if you read the Bontrager threads.

While I agree that giving Chelsy all the credit for the turnaround in Sarah's life is a stretch, I do think she shook things up when she arrived, in ways some of the other married-ins did not. When NR-Anna married in, all the Maxladies were still in frumpers - and so was Anna. By the time Elissa joined the family, they'd moved on to shirts/polos with an extra shirt always visible underneath, and I didn't notice any changes. But when Chelsy joined the fold, I seem to remember Sarah posting her new author photos in a dress from Amazon that Chelsy had recommended, with no T-shirt layer visible. Then we started seeing just a possible hint of makeup on Sarah, then earrings...she may have helped Sarah grow her confidence in ways that helped her make that move. Probably the medical professionals who intervened in her concussions raised some red flags about a nearly-40-year-old woman living at home under her parents' thumb like a preteen, and that probably was a bigger factor, but I think Chelsy's influence played a part as well.

[Hellothere]

I agree that the concussion episode was a turning point and may have made Sarah reevaluate her life as she was recuperating and under treatment. This questioning of her life situation and  dissatisfaction/depession may have started during Covid when they no longer had the "nursing home church" and eventually moved to their current one.  With all her time spent on the computer, she may have also explored websites, blogs, etc. that painted a more cheerful, uplifting view of Christianity than Steve's severe, gloom and doom, pessimistic view of how Christ wants one to live their lives. Heck, she may have read this website!  It was helpful that Chelsy, Elisa  and the few young friends (both online and in person) Sarah made along the way showed it was absolutely possible to live an interesting, fun, fulfilling  life and still have strong Christian values (despite what depressing, inflexible dad thought).   She also knew the younger girls were doing online classes and were interested in going to ABS, an idea supported by their new church leaders. I think she may have started exploring online Christian sites and possible dating opportunities well before she bought a car and moved out.  Good for her!

[SassyPants]

I support any healthy avenue that gets adults out of their parent’s home and on the road to stable, contributing, independent living. Moving out of her family’s home at age 40(?) was healthiest move that Sarah made. I hope the same future opportunities are available to Anna-

I will never forget a post 1 of the family member’s made where the 3, adult women were seat belted in the back of Steve’s vehicle after an ice cream run. They were like indentured servants in that home.

I have always been puzzled and disgusted by the fundie approach of treating 6 YO girls like adults in terms of responsibilities, yet treating those same girls, as grown women, like infants when it came to age appropriate freedoms-

[Bethy]

6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I have always been puzzled and disgusted by the fundie approach of treating 6 YO girls like adults in terms of responsibilities, yet treating those same girls, as grown women, like infants when it came to age appropriate freedoms-

Bingo. They're not old enough for school but they're doing cleaning chores that are way beyond their ages and cooking whole meals for a huge family. But then when they're actually grown, they have to sit at home with zero privileges waiting for the transfer of authority so their adult lives can start. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

26 minutes ago, Bethy said:

I have always been puzzled and disgusted by the fundie approach of treating 6 YO girls like adults in terms of responsibilities, yet treating those same girls, as grown women, like infants when it came to age appropriate freedoms-

I recall reading that the Duggars home church expected a mother to be able to hand off any baby or toddler to a girl 7 or older and feel total confidence that their little one was in competent hands. Yet, there's Jana--or in this forum Sarah--at home at 30+ waiting for God to drop a  husband on her doorstep

P.S. Does anyone else remember the "I believe in doorsteps"? As in beveling God can/will send the right man to your doorstep?

[Bluebirdbluebell]

11 hours ago, Bethy said:

While I agree that giving Chelsy all the credit for the turnaround in Sarah's life is a stretch, I do think she shook things up when she arrived, in ways some of the other married-ins did not. When NR-Anna married in, all the Maxladies were still in frumpers - and so was Anna. By the time Elissa joined the family, they'd moved on to shirts/polos with an extra shirt always visible underneath, and I didn't notice any changes. But when Chelsy joined the fold, I seem to remember Sarah posting her new author photos in a dress from Amazon that Chelsy had recommended, with no T-shirt layer visible. Then we started seeing just a possible hint of makeup on Sarah, then earrings...she may have helped Sarah grow her confidence in ways that helped her make that move. Probably the medical professionals who intervened in her concussions raised some red flags about a nearly-40-year-old woman living at home under her parents' thumb like a preteen, and that probably was a bigger factor, but I think Chelsy's influence played a part as well.

It may also have been inevitable part of reaching that age and seeing more of the reversal boys moving out. It would be nice Bontrager sisters were doing as well as the Maxwell sisters.

[anachronistic]

If Sarah was going to a lot of doctor appointments, it's possible that they did a mental health screening at one of them, I have to do mental health screenings at doctors offices that's totally unrelated to mental health. And a neurologist would also be able to pick up on signs of depression, PTSD, etc. Whatever happened, and I don't think at this point we will ever know, it was really good. And we are really glad. (by we, I'm speaking for all of FJ I think.)

[Pammy]

The college situation with the ABHE complaint sounds very serious to me. Most small schools working with ABHE have to work very hard to meet, or nearly meet, the requirements and timelines set out. It is really a serious workload when a school may not have the human resources to accomplish it without running their people into burnout territory. I've seen it happen at the bible college I work with -- and it makes me very happy that I am not core staff.

There, things like grievance policies and conflict-of-interest policies being mandatory (maybe 10y ago?) were seen as a prod towards professionalism. They were needed, but they seemed strange because the staff just weren't previously used to that level of formality and bureaucracy. The students think it's a big joke when one of the profs has to make a lunchtime announcement about the grievance policy and remind students where it is posted once a year. He does this because it "checks the box" for ABHE that there not only *is* a policy, but that the students reasonably *know* that there is one and have access to it. They do this, and jump through many other hoops, because they have to. Loosing accreditation is basically going to shut a school down. (And it has made the school a stronger and more professional environment, which is a plus.)

I'm telling this story because I can't imagine how many times these people have had to make complaints that die in the president's inbox because they are about his wife -- before they actually did something that jeopardized their own school's ABHE standing. At a small bible college, that's a *nuclear* level attack. They were probably going to just quit and decided to go out with a benevolent explosion, because they would have known that their jobs were over.

And the stupid thing is that to be ABHE compliant, all ABC would have to do is edit their grievance policy to read that if the person the complaint was against was related to anyone else in the process, another qualified person would substitute-in (and then copy and paste that into a conflict-of-interest policy). It's literally a one sentence fix. Of course, they would also have to live by it once they edited it, and that college president clearly doesn't want to.

[hoipolloi]

9 minutes ago, Pammy said:

Of course, they would also have to live by it once they edited it, and that college president clearly doesn't want to.

This is the crux of the matter. As we all know, fundies are past masters at "Do as we say, not as we do."

Thank you for the detailed explanation of how the ABHE accreditation process should work.

[Hellothere]

Their church in Leavenworth announced that Sam and Mary are going on an approx 2 week mission to Mexico in August and will be accompanied by 3 other church members - Anna is one of them.

Didnt the old Maxwell blog allude to Anna and Mary  doing some summer missionary work preCovid?  I wonder if this is where they learned more about ABC and maybe met some students from there?

Edited July 22 by Hellothere

[Bluebirdbluebell]

7 hours ago, Hellothere said:

Their church in Leavenworth announced that Sam and Mary are going on an approx 2 week mission to Mexico in August and will be accompanied by 3 other church members - Anna is one of them.

Didnt the old Maxwell blog allude to Anna and Mary  doing some summer missionary work preCovid?  I wonder if this is where they learned more about ABC and maybe met some students from there?

Yes! They used to disappear for about a month in the summer and then come back! This was pre-Covid and pre-ABC!

[Bethy]

56 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Yes! They used to disappear for about a month in the summer and then come back! This was pre-Covid and pre-ABC!

I just went back and poked around on the blog, because I also remembered John taking a trip, and his location and what he was doing were both very hush-hush. John's solo trip was in early 2015. I had forgotten he also went along on a summer trip with Anna and Mary in 2017. But then he got married, so when there was a trip to be taken in 2019, he didn't go along and just the two girls went. In a comment on the post about their 2019 departure, someone asked how many missions trips those two had gone on together, and Sarah thought the answer was four. I'm not sure if they're counting OCC shoebox trips in that count or not. I think both of them had done that at least once.

They never said where they went or what they were doing, claiming they were protecting the privacy of the ministry. Some cryptic things posted about John's 2015 trip made it pretty clear he was leaving the country, but the fact that the summer 2017 and 2019 trips were about eight weeks and ran from early June to early August both times makes me wonder if they were AT ABC both of those times (working on that challenge course/camp ministry thing they do there) and Steve knew he'd get called out on it (and see a drop in sales of Keepings Our Children's Hearts) if he admitted to sending his sheltered homeschool siblings-are-our-only-friends children to work for a summer at a sleep-away camp hosted by a college.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Their church posted a big group picture so I zoomed in on Sam, Mary, Teri, and Steve. Doesn’t it look like Steve might have a beard? I can’t remember the last time Steve had a beard. 

[Coconut Flan]

Wow, Steve has aged and Sam looks like my SIL.  

[hoipolloi]

Isn’t that Anna to Steve’s left, the 4th person?

Edited July 27 by hoipolloi

[Bethy]

26 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

Isn’t that Anna to Steve’s left, the 4th person?

And Gigi next to her?

[JermajestyDuggar]

Nathan’s family is in this picture. So they must’ve been in the parade last year. A parade seems like something Steve would hate. 

[Bassett Lady]

45 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

A parade seems like something Steve would hate. 

Our town does a parade and our church participates. We have fun music, cute kids, festive floats, candy to throw, and everyone has a great time. 
 

Steve would be absolutely miserable. Just Imagine people laughing, and dancing, and celebrating 🎉 he would be so disappointed in us. 

[HereticHick]

Remind me again who had to be Lolly the Clown?

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Remind me again who had to be Lolly the Clown?

Anna. I’m so glad we haven’t seen that in a long while. 

Edited July 27 by JermajestyDuggar