Maxwells 59: On the Road Again

[Zee]

On 8/13/2024 at 10:01 PM, theologygeek said:

Same.  Not sure what Catholics they are referring to.  Italian American here, so my circle since childhood was primarily other Roman Catholics.  I grew up with a large family down the street (9 kids).  Other than that, in my parents' generation and also mine, the families weren't that big.  Most had two or three.  I wanted six kids.  My ex husband didn't. 

My Catholic grandmother wanted 12 but stopped after complications and the (for the 50’s) very premature birth of number 6. Catholics tend to be okay when stopping for medical reasons, at least the ones I have seen. 

[SassyPants]

18 minutes ago, Zee said:

My Catholic grandmother wanted 12 but stopped after complications and the (for the 50’s) very premature birth of number 6. Catholics tend to be okay when stopping for medical reasons, at least the ones I have seen. 

I have a friend who is 1 of 12, the last child was born when she was a teen, and has Down Syndrome. No more after that for this very Catholic family.

[Jana814]

3 hours ago, Zee said:

My Catholic grandmother wanted 12 but stopped after complications and the (for the 50’s) very premature birth of number 6. Catholics tend to be okay when stopping for medical reasons, at least the ones I have seen. 

I have friends who are brother & sister. They also have an older sister.  They were raised very Catholic. Their mother always wanted 6 kids. But after the son was born 6 weeks early the doctor advised her not to have any more & she didn’t. 

[Brittany15]

In my experience- very strict Catholics use natural family planning to limit family size. And while it’s not full proof, does work well enough to prevent a mega family. Semi strict Catholics will use condoms instead of the pill as it does not allow contact between the sperm and egg so no chance of the contraception being similar to an abortion at all. And the majority of main stream Catholics just take birth control.

[SassyPants]

9 minutes ago, Brittany15 said:

In my experience- very strict Catholics use natural family planning to limit family size. And while it’s not full proof, does work well enough to prevent a mega family. Semi strict Catholics will use condoms instead of the pill as it does not allow contact between the sperm and egg so no chance of the contraception being similar to an abortion at all. And the majority of main stream Catholics just take birth control.

Wasn’t there a recent study released that showed 90% of practicing Catholic use some form of birth control? Jeremy and Jinger spoke in 1 podcast about supporting the use of non- abortifacient BC because uncontrolled reproduction can have such negative effects on the family unit, especially the mother. Jinger mentioned how lousy and “not like herself”(her exact words) she felt after the births of both of their girls. They also discussed the costs associated and how having to financially support a large family takes so much time away from families.

[Coconut Flan]

Our parish has no family with more than 4 children unless they are blended.  There are only two with four that I know about.  Most families have two children with a few threes.  That doesn't happen with NFP.  😉

[PennySycamore]

@SassyPants,  I think you know this already, but no BC pills act as an abortifacient.  The developer of the pill theorized without any evidence that they might make the uterine lining hostile to fertilized ova.  That was just his supposition and turned out not to be true.

ETA:  In our church bereavement group, the older women would talk about how relieved they were when they had hysterectomies.  

One of the women behind the Quiverfull movement became suicidal when she had to have a hysterectomy

Edited August 19 by PennySycamore

[Expectopatronus]

5 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

Our parish has no family with more than 4 children unless they are blended.  There are only two with four that I know about.  Most families have two children with a few threes.  That doesn't happen with NFP.  😉

My friends are ultra conservative Catholic (friend’s husband thinks all b/c should be illegal) and they only have two. NFP has worked well for them. The majority of my friends use b/c but for some, NFP is highly effective. 

[Black Aliss]

15 minutes ago, Expectopatronus said:

My friends are ultra conservative Catholic (friend’s husband thinks all b/c should be illegal) and they only have two. NFP has worked well for them. The majority of my friends use b/c but for some, NFP is highly effective. 

My parents practice the form of NFP called "leaving church before the benediction". It worked well for 16 years (3 kids) and then. . .it didn't.

[Coconut Flan]

53 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

My parents practice the form of NFP called "leaving church before the benediction". It worked well for 16 years (3 kids) and then. . .it didn't.

Right it only takes one failure to follow the plan to get just one more and not everyone is quite regular and predictable enough for great results.  On a couple by couple basis some can be highly effective, most will be moderately effective, and some won't be very successful at all.  What I am saying that in a Catholic mega parish, you aren't going to get the results we see in the pews from NFP alone.  Or one case of personal data does not a population study make.  

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I miss the "old" Maxwells! How do I know when to clean my ceiling fans?? I'd love some updates on more than cleaning and burrito filing but the old snark was so fun. [I'm happy for Sarah especially but for all 3 Maxwell daughters]

[Katzchen24]

Just saw Chelsy's blog post from 4th(?) August and I must admit it makes her more relatable than the majority of fundies have ever been.

She's been doing jigsaw puzzles!! I'm a devoted puzzler myself, follow a few on YouTube and watch the World Championships etc. I love that she's doing what look like regular puzzles with a bunch of other people as well as with her boys. As someone who regularly op shops for puzzles and swaps them with other people, this is such a fun and wholesome activity to share. The fact that she's got only three littles underfoot instead of a whole bunch more of them means maybe she can carve out quality time like this to spend on her own mental health as well as sharing activities with the kids. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Mary's in-laws put out a new post in their church bulletin. His parents are missionaries in Uruguay. 

Spoiler

 

Edited September 1 by Bluebirdbluebell

[Hellothere]

I noticed the Terri is no longer on the Missions Committee at their church.  Mary's husband, Sam, is now on that Committee.  I hope she has other volunteer or hobby commitments that can get her out of the house and interacting with people in the community.  I can't imagine spending almost 100% of my time in the house with Steve - very stifling.

They used to travel quite a bit to do presentations on their way of raising a family, managing chores, etc. and then also sell the books, charts, etc. they published that went along with their methods.  Their last one was in North Carolina a few months ago (at least Steve shared a dates and location for their seminar, but who knows if it actually occurred - maybe an audience didn't materialize for it?)  Their church would seem to be a likely "target" for them to offer to do a one or two day presentation and then sell the old printed materials  they have stored in their basement.  Do you think they offered and the church decided not to proceed with that?  

[Coconut Flan]

Terri is getting to be of an age where she may not want to be on church committees.  My neighbors who are similar in age and who have always been quite active in their churches have been backing out of responsibilities the last couple of years.  The youngest person in two of the couples told me Monday that she thinks she's done her last job for the church and it's time for them to find another volunteer.  While it's nice to think of Terri getting away from Steve for awhile, she may not want the responsibility of church committees any more.  Sometimes the politics can get stressful.  

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 9/1/2024 at 5:19 AM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Mary's in-laws put out a new post in their church bulletin. His parents are missionaries in Uruguay. 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

So this message from Mary's missionary in-laws seems mostly about trying to convert people. They pass out tracks, and pray for people to help them evangelize. I think it's telling that they don't really about doing works, it's more about conversions. I probably was too hard on missionaries, but it seems like the main goal is to proselytize for Jesus. I think Mary, Sam, and maybe Anna will become missionaries like his parents. It's also consistent with Steve's beliefs that spreading the word  and "saving" people is one of the most important things you can do. 

[SPHASH]

Church committee assignments...a previous church I was a member of had a three year rule for committee assignments.  That way members don't get permanently entrenched on a committee or chairperson and others get the opportunity to serve as well.  There was a lady who was the finance secretary for like 30 years.  A new pastor came in and decided there should be term limits and when the lady was advised she would be relinquishing her job she left the church and didn't come back until said pastor went on to another appointment.

[Hane]

@SPHASH: A smart move on the part of that pastor! In the next town over from me, a CPA insinuated himself into the chairmanship of his church’s finance board, stacked said board with elderly members who trusted him and knew nothing about finance—then he proceeded to drain the church’s treasury. He wound up in the slammer.

[hoipolloi]

28 minutes ago, Hane said:

A smart move on the part of that pastor!

Exactly what I thought. When it comes to positions that handle money or property, you donʻt want a "volunteer" occupying them indefinitely. 

It didn't involve a church but this gobsmacking story unfolded in a town not far from where I grew up. The tl;dr is that Rita Crundwell - longtime comptroller & treasurer of Dixon, IL - systematically stole over $50 million from the town coffers over her time in office. The movie is on Netflix and it was co-produced by a forensic accountant. I highly recommend watching it.

[Hane]

@hoipolloi, thanks for the recommendation! Back when I was a teenager, my very financially savvy mother taught me about the concept of commingling of funds and why it’s both unethical and dangerous. (Though these cases weren’t commingling of funds, but kind of adjacent to it.)

Edited Wednesday at 06:22 PM by Hane

[Jana814]

My temple had a board. Someone can be on the board as long as they want. However, if someone is the president of the congregation that appointment only lasts for 2 years.  Considering most of the members of the board have regular full-times jobs 2 years is plenty. 

Edited Wednesday at 07:04 PM by Jana814

[Hane]

40 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

My temple had a board. Someone can be on the board as long as they want. However, if someone is the president of the congregation that appointment only lasts for 2 years.  Considering most of the members of the board have regular full-times jobs 2 years is plenty. 

My church has an elected president and board, too, with maximum 2-year terms. We also undergo an external audit process yearly.

[Black Aliss]

On 9/3/2024 at 7:55 PM, Hellothere said:

 I hope she has other volunteer or hobby commitments that can get her out of the house and interacting with people in the community.  I can't imagine spending almost 100% of my time in the house with Steve - very stifling.

She definitely doesn't need to be spending 100% of her time in the house with Steve. She could be bonding with her grandchildren in  more-than-15-minute-increments, volunteering at a food bank, going for long bicycle rides. . .She's relatively young and healthy. She has options.