Bontragers/Bowers/Helferichs 13: In the Middle of Jesus’ First Relationship

[CaptainFunderpants]

Oh Allison... Dying in childbirth is a time honored tradition, to the point that nuns have higher rates of breast cancer due to living long enough to actually develop it thanks to NOT dying in childbirth.

As for the under-a-year timeline... A lot of my friends did that, but I'm too anxious. I feel like all of the good ones are gone at this point and I waited too long (early 30s). I let my anxiety of choosing wrong get the better of me.

Learn from my mistakes, folks!

[Bethy]

9 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

I love how after her first baby she knows that "my babies always flip up to the last minute". And she's never needed the group B step test, it's never affected her!

As to that last paragraph - sure, the medical system came up with them for shits and giggles, the decrease in neonatal and maternal mortality around then was total coincidence.

Oh sorry, no - it was chiropractors. /s

I think most of us who have more than two kids or know someone that does can attest that there is really no "always" with pregnancy and childbirth. Some pregnancies will cause gestational diabetes (which, left untreated, can cause a huge baby and thus a really difficult birth, followed by complications for the baby who can't control his/her own blood glucose right away) and the next pregnancy the mom might never develop GD. Not having Group B Strep in one pregnancy doesn't mean you never will. And I know a woman who went to a hospital for the birth of #4 even though births 1-3 had been textbook perfect and uncomplicated, and NEEDED those services because of some complications during the birth. But sure, Allison, go ahead and assume it's always going to be smooth sailing for you.

[JermajestyDuggar]

My two births were complete opposites. They were so very different. One was so so long and I was a few days overdue. While the other was super short and a few days early. They were both boys yet they were pretty different in their weights too. You never know. 

[dawn9476]

On 7/12/2024 at 10:49 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

They are so not ready. That baby will be raised by Amy. 

And/or her sisters. Her sisters will be Aunt Moms.

19 hours ago, Bethy said:

Focus on the Family's Boundless webzine was really pushing that exact under-a-year timeline a few years ago. Because pushing teens to marry before they actually know each other is such a great idea 🙄

https://www.boundless.org/relationships/biblical-dating-from-hi-to-i-do-in-a-year/

Because they foolishly think it will help raise our low birth rate.

[Ozlsn]

7 hours ago, browngrl said:

Oh sure "woo woo" nonsense like Alison's essential oils and chiropractors are fine but evidence based medicine - no way. What a fool. At least if something goes wrong, she can justify things as "God's will". She'll never shoulder the responsibilities for the consequences of her choices. 

She quite possibly would have to, if the consequences are her or her child needing additional life long care. It might be "God's Will" but only due to her idiocy.

1 hour ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

As for the under-a-year timeline... A lot of my friends did that, but I'm too anxious. I feel like all of the good ones are gone at this point and I waited too long (early 30s). I let my anxiety of choosing wrong get the better of me.

Learn from my mistakes, folks!

Early 30s is not too long, and there are good ones out there. A friend of mine was thinking the same thing, and now is married with two children. Not saying it's a definite but as long as you're breathing the possibility remains!

[justpassingthru]

THEY STILL HAVEN'T BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR A YEAR YET. 

I just can't with them.

[Giraffe]

"Don't rush God"

Will they look back at that when they're 40 and potentially with other spouses and cringe at their teenage selves as I do for them?

[justpassingthru]

Amy posted this the other day. LIKE MA'AM 

[Ozlsn]

1 hour ago, justpassingthru said:

THEY STILL HAVEN'T BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR A YEAR YET. 

I still can't get over how quickly they married.  Yeah, I know, for the godly sex, but they really have no idea at this point about how they are as a couple other than they are attracted to each other. Which good, but it will almost certainly change with time and they really don't seem to know each other that well other than presumably Biblically. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

I still can't get over how quickly they married.  Yeah, I know, for the godly sex, but they really have no idea at this point about how they are as a couple other than they are attracted to each other. Which good, but it will almost certainly change with time and they really don't seem to know each other that well other than presumably Biblically. 

Plus Haley’s brain isn’t even formed and Carver’s probably isn’t either. They can change a lot in the next 10 years. Especially if kids come into the picture. 

[postscript]

13 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

I still can't get over how quickly they married.  Yeah, I know, for the godly sex, but they really have no idea at this point about how they are as a couple other than they are attracted to each other. Which good, but it will almost certainly change with time and they really don't seem to know each other that well other than presumably Biblically. 

At this point, they are both still parroting their parents’ talking points, with no opinions of their own. They would have been no more mature had they opted for college or entry into the workforce, but they would at least be exposed to other viewpoints. 

It remains to be seen how things will change as they mature. They may grow together as they’re forced to navigate challenges jointly. Or they may discover in a few years that they have completely different life goals. Unfortunately, by then kids will have entered the mix. 

[justpassingthru]

Haley has said one of their goals is to build a house on her parents property. Absolutely no Independence 

[Jasmar]

19 hours ago, justpassingthru said:

Amy posted this the other day. LIKE MA'AM 

Ah yes, the “sublimate your wants and needs through domestic labor” training starts early.

[HereticHick]

Haley and Carver need to get their butts in gear and go off on that planned missioncation before Haley gets knocked up and morning sickness begins.

[FundeyMonkey]

On 7/19/2024 at 8:44 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

How would she know if she needs an ultrasound? Ugh. This kind of thinking is what causes huge problems at birth. Her last two went fine. So she assumes all will go fine. I’m just glad Chelsy married a Maxwell. I can’t stand Steve Maxwell but at least he isn’t completely idiotic about medical care. And I assume John isn’t either. That’s probably why Chelsy isn’t completely eye deep in bullshit like Allison. Only like, knee deep 😂

This is concerning. Giving uneducated "advice". Um, Alison sweetie- what do you mean "just recent things that the medical system came up with, not historically or research proven"? 

Does she know that she may be putting someone's life at risk by sprouting her rubbish.

I am in the complementary medicine field myself and that's what it is- complementary. It complements traditional medicine. They go hand in hand. No way would I tell someone to disregard the medical system.

[Brittany15]

It’s funny, I was talking about childbirth with a few friends the other day. We were talking about how from our perspective we had pretty routine drama free births. However, looking deeper we all had one or two medical interventions that were handled pretty swiftly and easily that they didn’t make huge impacts on our birth memories.  However, they still completely saved either our lives or that of our babies. blood clots, shoulder dystocia, and antibiotics for strep b were somethings that we had; And because we had such good medical care these were taken care of in ways we hardly even noticed. It’s terrifying that by simply being dumb and choosing no interventions you can go from a routine birth to a tragedy so easily. 

[HereticHick]

From Haley Paul Bowers' Instagram.

Look at these asshats filming in a movie theatre.  Amy Paul, I know you read here--you have raised a bunch of spoiled, rude, ill-mannered children. I know you think you've raised sweet "Christian" kids who "love the lord." And maybe they mind you and Eric, and that's all you can see. But they go through life flouting the law and rules of acceptable behavior. Whether its dangerous driving, driving without seatbelts or helmets, illegal road racing that wakes up your fellow citizens, filming in movie and live theatres--you've raised a bunch of brats. Congrats.

[JermajestyDuggar]

40 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

From Haley Paul Bowers' Instagram.

Look at these asshats filming in a movie theatre.  Amy Paul, I know you read here--you have raised a bunch of spoiled, rude, ill-mannered children. I know you think you've raised sweet "Christian" kids who "love the lord." And maybe they mind you and Eric, and that's all you can see. But they go through life flouting the law and rules of acceptable behavior. Whether its dangerous driving, driving without seatbelts or helmets, illegal road racing that wakes up your fellow citizens, filming in movie and live theatres--you've raised a bunch of brats. Congrats.

She’s taking her younger sisters to watch a PG-13 movie?!?! What a Jezabel! 

[Tangy Bee]

Ok, so who is this Haley Paul?? Is she a new fundie that's related to some old fundies we follow🤔

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Ok, so who is this Haley Paul?? Is she a new fundie that's related to some old fundies we follow🤔

She married Carver Bowers. Her mom claims to make 7 figure in plexus. She’s enmeshed with her family who lives in a plantation. She can’t seem to leave them for longer than a week. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

What a compassionate, caring, non-judgmental Christian she is!

[justpassingthru]

She's totally open to people asking her questions and not at all a hater. 

Let's not forget how so, so in love she is /s

[Coconut Flan]

Carry on here: