Lori Alexander 84: Stay Away from the Pool

[Xan]

2 hours ago, SweetLaurel said:

I always left a pile of books around all my kids. Yeah, occasionally a page would get torn, but mostly there were few issues. 

Now that you mention it, I always had books around my kids too.  Except for the occasional torn page from an 8 or 9 month old reaching for a book, the books stayed intact.  I honestly think she left the two year old unmonitored for a long while and the child got bored or restless.

[Melissa1977]

Little kids are little kids after all. This said, I would be sad if my grandchild ripped books from my children's childhood. I treasure some storybooks that remind me very happy times. So I understand the feeling (although I doubt Lori read to her kids in a daily basis and that bedtime was a relaxing storytime moment).

Lori has many grandchildren, but I wonder if the 2 year old was August. She looks sooo active that I can picture her climbing the crib and doing whatever, because she was probably very bored. After Lori's uncomfortable post about adoption, I'm sure she doesn't see the girl like the others. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I have always been somewhat surprised that Lori counts August as one of the 18 grandchildren.  I would think she's say something like 17 grandbabies and 1 adopted one.

Soon after we were married (who knows why) my MIL warned Mr Dress and me that if we ever adopted the child would:

1. Not be a real grandchild
2. Would not be treated as a grandchild at all in any way (no Christmas/birthday/graduation presents)
3. Would not be allowed to refer to her/FIL as any permutation of Grandmother/ nana/ etc.  Their names would be Mr and Mrs Dress
4. As not a grandchild would not be allowed to visit their home
5. Would not inherit a penny as -- you guessed it -- not a grandchild.

Not that this swayed us in any way, but we ended up child-free.  Interestingly MIL has never mentioned that.

 

[Loveday]

2 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I have always been somewhat surprised that Lori counts August as one of the 18 grandchildren.  I would think she's say something like 17 grandbabies and 1 adopted one.

Soon after we were married (who knows why) my MIL warned Mr Dress and me that if we ever adopted the child would:

1. Not be a real grandchild
2. Would not be treated as a grandchild at all in any way (no Christmas/birthday/graduation presents)
3. Would not be allowed to refer to her/FIL as any permutation of Grandmother/ nana/ etc.  Their names would be Mr and Mrs Dress
4. As not a grandchild would not be allowed to visit their home
5. Would not inherit a penny as -- you guessed it -- not a grandchild.

Not that this swayed us in any way, but we ended up child-free.  Interestingly MIL has never mentioned that.

 

@Red Hair, Black Dress, My 'sad' reaction was aimed towards your MIL's awful attitude towards adopted children, not towards you ending up child-free. I wonder why she felt that way, it just seems so extreme! I mean, I get that some people don't consider an adopted child to be 'their' grandchild in the same way their biological children would be, but I would think most would keep that to themselves, recognising that it would really hurt the adopted child to behave any differently towards them (although I'm sure the child would eventually sense the grandparent's feelings, how could they not!  ). Most people genuinely don't want to hurt a child in any way! But your MIL seems to almost have a vendetta against adopted children. So sad. 😢 

I think Lori counts her adopted grandchild to 'swell the numbers,' so to speak. The more the better! Arrows in the family quiver and all that. But it really wouldn't surprise me if, in real life, she does treat August a little bit differently. 😕 

[Foursquare]

Lori is a fan of Gothard. Doesn't he have some anti-adoption attitudes? 

[SongRed7]

12 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

but I wonder if the 2 year old was August. She looks sooo active that I can picture her climbing the crib and doing whatever, because she was probably very bored

hopping on the speculation bus, I would guess August as well. Alyssa has posted stories on IG about her climbing out of her crib, crawling on tables/cabinets etc. When they were in vacation in Florida she crawled out the of pack n play and crawled into bed with her brother.  She has quite a spirit.

My question is, how did Lori not know this was  happening unitl ALL that was done? Does she just lock them in a room for two hours (yep...probably..she did that with her own kids).  But doesn't she check on them once in a while. I find it hard to believe that you wouldnt' hear the sound of the child getting in and out of the pack n play (maybe multiple times) to pick up all those books and then the tearing noises unless you were in rooms and rooms away.  I certainly would leave a door open a crack if a child were sleeping.  Lori seems like a pretty inattentive babysitter. 

 

 

 

[HoneyBunny]

5 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I have always been somewhat surprised that Lori counts August as one of the 18 grandchildren.  I would think she's say something like 17 grandbabies and 1 adopted one.

Soon after we were married (who knows why) my MIL warned Mr Dress and me that if we ever adopted the child would:

1. Not be a real grandchild
2. Would not be treated as a grandchild at all in any way (no Christmas/birthday/graduation presents)
3. Would not be allowed to refer to her/FIL as any permutation of Grandmother/ nana/ etc.  Their names would be Mr and Mrs Dress
4. As not a grandchild would not be allowed to visit their home
5. Would not inherit a penny as -- you guessed it -- not a grandchild.

Not that this swayed us in any way, but we ended up child-free.  Interestingly MIL has never mentioned that.

 

 

5 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I have always been somewhat surprised that Lori counts August as one of the 18 grandchildren.  I would think she's say something like 17 grandbabies and 1 adopted one.

Soon after we were married (who knows why) my MIL warned Mr Dress and me that if we ever adopted the child would:

1. Not be a real grandchild
2. Would not be treated as a grandchild at all in any way (no Christmas/birthday/graduation presents)
3. Would not be allowed to refer to her/FIL as any permutation of Grandmother/ nana/ etc.  Their names would be Mr and Mrs Dress
4. As not a grandchild would not be allowed to visit their home
5. Would not inherit a penny as -- you guessed it -- not a grandchild.

Not that this swayed us in any way, but we ended up child-free.  Interestingly MIL has never mentioned that.

 

This is, frankly, just about the worst thing I’ve ever heard. I’m so very sorry you were confronted with that attitude. I went down the list thinking about the twin boys (now 20) that I’ve been close to since they were born. Not related at all.  They have always been treated like the most special people in the world to me. They’ve spent days and nights at my house, I’ve fixed and served them umpteen meals, taken them places, watched them play sports for 16 years, taken them out for meals, taken the difficult calls at 11pm when their lives get hard and, yes, included them in my will. To have a grandparent deny a grandchild (and themselves) all of that love is just heinous. 

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

hopping on the speculation bus, I would guess August as well. Alyssa has posted stories on IG about her climbing out of her crib, crawling on tables/cabinets etc. When they were in vacation in Florida she crawled out the of pack n play and crawled into bed with her brother.  She has quite a spirit.

My question is, how did Lori not know this was  happening unitl ALL that was done? Does she just lock them in a room for two hours (yep...probably..she did that with her own kids).  But doesn't she check on them once in a while. I find it hard to believe that you wouldnt' hear the sound of the child getting in and out of the pack n play (maybe multiple times) to pick up all those books and then the tearing noises unless you were in rooms and rooms away.  I certainly would leave a door open a crack if a child were sleeping.  Lori seems like a pretty inattentive babysitter. 

 

 

 

Alyssa enforces very long sleeping times, lots of naps and alone time playing on the crib. Baby Gideon was sleeptrained to sleep 12 hours, wake up and then play 1 hour alone in the crib and do several naps during the day.  For someone obsessed with pregnancy and adoption, looks like real time with babies is not a priority. It may have worked with Gideon, but August seems more active and adventurous. I wouldn't leave her unsupervised! 

Lori left the kids on their rooms for hours. Probably all the family is used to that, both for babies and for older children.

[usmcmom]

Speaking of Alyssa, she answered this question a while back in Instagram. 
 

Her children took a lot of time and effort???  
Excuse me, WHAT?

What child does NOT take a lot of time and effort? 
 

Maybe she meant that conception and/or adoption was quite an effort for them?

[Fallgirl30]

18 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Speaking of Alyssa, she answered this question a while back in Instagram. 
 

Her children took a lot of time and effort???  
Excuse me, WHAT?

What child does NOT take a lot of time and effort? 
 

Maybe she meant that conception and/or adoption was quite an effort for them?

The phrase "kids of your own" chaps my hide.    If they aren’t yours, whose are they?! "Bio kids" is better but that’s just me.   I saw an IG story by Alyssa where they were on a trip and Ken and Lori had her kids.  Apparently Auggie bit Ken.  Lori didn’t seem too fazed but I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

2 hours ago, Loveday said:

your MIL seems to almost have a vendetta against adopted children

Not a vendetta. She's just a raging beyotch, which is nicer than calling her a raging c-word which is how I usually think about her.

She doesn't like people in general. She really doesn't like children, not even her own. I'm 99.99999% sure she never wanted any, but had them because you're supposed to.  She was married 5 years before Mr Dress' brother was born and 6.5 years later Mr Dress was born. This was planned (she told me).

She was emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abusive to Mr Dress (pinches that leave dark bruises, digging her nails into his arm or hand). His brother was and still is the most highly favored golden boy on whom everything was lavished..

My FIL was an emotionally distant father who paid no attention to Mr. Dress. If (big if) he knew what my MIL was doing he ignored it. I'm 99.99999% sure he wouldn't have cared if he had known. Like my MIL he lavished everything on the most highly favored golden boy.

As you might imagine once he went to college Mr. Dress kept a coldly polite distance from his parents, who didn't seem to care.

Mr. Dress was saved by his Grandmother Dress and the elderly childless couple who lived close by. 

Fortunately for me (and the world) he is absolutely nothing like his parents in any way.  He says he learned how not to be by their examples.

Oh and there is one Dress grandchild -- the most highly favored golden child of the original most highly favored golden child. Not that my MIL seems to love her grandchild, but she does lavish everything on them. 

[Liza]

On 6/28/2024 at 7:53 PM, usmcmom said:

Per her IG story, Alyssa has just confirmed that they did, in fact, teach their daughter to swim just the way Lori described. 

No floaties, ever, for her kids apparently. They do have a pool now; so I understand the desire to ensure proper swimming skills. However, this move seemed very sudden and, to me, this gives off the vibe of “Oh crap! We gotta teach our kids to swim.” It is so creepy to me now these people tak pride in things that scare their children. 

  @usmcmom  This sounds like the Michael Pearl method for teaching his kids to swim only he threw them into the lake.  I thought Alyssa was the outlier.  Anyway, does anyone have a screenshot of this?  Not doubting you but just curious how she explained it all.  Thanks to anyone.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Poverty Olympics in the comments of Lori's FB post today  Essentially how much can you do without to live like Lori commands says?. How small a house can you cram your quiver-full family into?

There was this comment one-upping everyone with only one car.  Although I'm sure people's definitions of "survived" are different.

Quote

When I was a child we had NO car. Guess what? We survived.

So far though I believe the "winner" is this ridiculous brag

Quote

We are raising 10 children on one 5-figure income. No, it’s not “easy” and we do without a lot of what others would call “necessities.” But God always provides!

I'm fairly sure that the 5-figure income isn't $99,999.99/ annually, and I'd love to know what necessities they do without. Running water? Indoor plumbing? Electricity? Heat? An actual house/apt?

I seem to remember Lori advocating to do without any/all of those if that's what it takes to stay home.

[Loveday]

Someone posted that they just bought a 988 sq ft house with baby number five on the way (and likely even more in the next few years if they're as quiverful as I'm thinking they are). Number FIVE. Who the hell does that?? On PURPOSE??? Oh, and they only have one car. With four and a half children. That, to me, is a serious emergency just waiting to happen. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Lori has been railing again about thongs --

Thongs at a public pool, women showing their butts, women openly showing off their butts in front of boys and men (Ken?), women flaunting their naked butts, women enticingly showing off their nearly naked bodies and naked butts Everywhere. All. The. Time. In. Front. Of. Men. (and Lori?) ....... and .... Anal sex is playing in the sewer.

I begin to believe Lori is telling us something about herself without telling us something about herself.

And seriously -- Since when does Lori go to a public pool?

Ummmmm ....... Never?

[kpmom]

5 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

 

I begin to believe Lori is telling us something about herself without telling us something about herself.

 

She does seem to have a thing about butts, naked butts, anal sex and spankings, doesn’t she?

Hmm, what could it all mean? 🤔

[louisa05]

On 7/16/2024 at 8:48 AM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I have always been somewhat surprised that Lori counts August as one of the 18 grandchildren.  I would think she's say something like 17 grandbabies and 1 adopted one.

Soon after we were married (who knows why) my MIL warned Mr Dress and me that if we ever adopted the child would:

1. Not be a real grandchild
2. Would not be treated as a grandchild at all in any way (no Christmas/birthday/graduation presents)
3. Would not be allowed to refer to her/FIL as any permutation of Grandmother/ nana/ etc.  Their names would be Mr and Mrs Dress
4. As not a grandchild would not be allowed to visit their home
5. Would not inherit a penny as -- you guessed it -- not a grandchild.

Not that this swayed us in any way, but we ended up child-free.  Interestingly MIL has never mentioned that.

 

On my mom’s side there are 7 grandchildren. Three were adopted. I was out with my grandma once when I was ten or so and a woman asked her if I was “a real grandchild or one of the other ones”. Grandma stared her down and said, “they are all my real grandchildren”.  I’m a bio one, but it made me so happy for my cousins. 

[SongRed7]

Lori today on Twitter/X:

The Transformed Wife 

@godlywomanhood

Children are taught they came from apes with no purpose in life. Therefore, give the girls birth control pills since they’re animalistic and will do it anyway. These are all lies! They were made in the image of God. Their lives have value. Teach them sexual purity and the beauty of sex within marriage. Let them know of all the terrible consequences they’ll avoid and the blessings they’ll experience doing it God’s way. They’re smarter than people give them credit for.

6:08 PM · Jul 22, 2024

 

We all know Lori makes stuff up, but this is ridiculous! Nobody ever in the history of forever has ever said this or tied evolution to "sexual purity" and birth control. Now she's just scrapping the bottom of the barrel and i didn't think that was possible. Usually she makes me ragey, but this just made me laugh out loud. 

 

Edited July 23 by SongRed7

[louisa05]

2 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

Lori today on Twitter/X:

The Transformed Wife 

@godlywomanhood

Children are taught they came from apes with no purpose in life. Therefore, give the girls birth control pills since they’re animalistic and will do it anyway. These are all lies! They were made in the image of God. Their lives have value. Teach them sexual purity and the beauty of sex within marriage. Let them know of all the terrible consequences they’ll avoid and the blessings they’ll experience doing it God’s way. They’re smarter than people give them credit for.

 

 

But wait a minute...that's basically what they tell everyone about men. According to Lori herself, men are such base animals that if they see a woman in a bikini or leggings or a short skirt, they will lose all control of themselves. 

[onekidanddone]

On 7/21/2024 at 7:24 PM, louisa05 said:

On my mom’s side there are 7 grandchildren. Three were adopted. I was out with my grandma once when I was ten or so and a woman asked her if I was “a real grandchild or one of the other ones”. Grandma stared her down and said, “they are all my real grandchildren”.  I’m a bio one, but it made me so happy for my cousins. 

I had a great aunt who, when my sister was pregnant, said could never love any adopted child.  She auntie could only love a ‘blood’ child. Ewww

Good thing she died before I adopted my daughter. I used the money she left me to help finance the adoption. 

Edited July 23 by onekidanddone

[marmalade]

Seen on Instagram. When fundie worlds collide.

Somehow, Lori discovered Karissa and co-signs her archaic views on sex. She ends her post by saying that she may not be "100% correct," but they are HER convictions. Let the eyerolling commence.

[Xan]

Lori is on about adult children who complain about their childhoods.  Apparently, you're supposed to keep your family's terrible secrets even though your parents were awful.  She's limited who can comment.  Is she afraid that one of hers will finally rat her out?

[SongRed7]

5 minutes ago, Xan said:

Lori is on about adult children who complain about their childhoods.  Apparently, you're supposed to keep your family's terrible secrets even though your parents were awful.  She's limited who can comment.  Is she afraid that one of hers will finally rat her out?

she is always saying this about the Duggar daughters who wrote books, but Lori herself has often talked about how her parents fought all the time, her mother spent too much money, didn't teach her biblical womanhood, etc.  Lori also frequently encourages women to talk about their "awful feminist" upbringings and never chides them when they talk about their "bad" parents etc. she LIKES to here other women put down their own mothers (typically not the fathers, tho...they can do no wrong). 

[Loveday]

21 minutes ago, Xan said:

Lori is on about adult children who complain about their childhoods.  Apparently, you're supposed to keep your family's terrible secrets even though your parents were awful.  She's limited who can comment.  Is she afraid that one of hers will finally rat her out?

 

21 minutes ago, Xan said:

Lori is on about adult children who complain about their childhoods.  Apparently, you're supposed to keep your family's terrible secrets even though your parents were awful.  She's limited who can comment.  Is she afraid that one of hers will finally rat her out?

She has gone on record in this post as saying, "...Yeah, telling all [presumably by writing a tell-all book or just talking with someone about an awful parent] simply destroys the relationships and is a sin against God." 

😳

Really, Lori? A sin? Against GOD?? Where in the Bible does it say this? You're adding things to the Bible that aren't there, and THAT is a sin against God, if I recall correctly from my reading of Revelation!

I read one of the Duggar girls' 'tell all' books (can't recall which right now). I found nothing disrespectful or dishonoring towards the Duggar parents in it. In fact, it went in the opposite direction--the Duggar daughter bent over backwards, it seemed to me, to show respect to her parents, especially her mother, but also to Jim-Bob, while telling her story as truthfully as she felt able to. As far as I'm concerned, Lori is just terrified that one of her own kids is going to speak out about their abuse at her and Ken's hands someday, and this is her way of trying to head that off. 'You'll go to hell if you tell on me and your daddy!'

 

*Jill's book. That's the one I read! Counting the Cost.

Edited July 24 by Loveday
Ugh, tried to get rid of the repeated quote, can't do it!

[Xan]

Well, Lori's pretty big on deciding by herself what is or is not a sin against God.  That would seem to be using the Lord's name in vain (because that's what the commandment is really about) and also goes against her "women have no authority" doctrine.