Jana and Stephen 17: Married August 15

[LillyP]

While I know the waiting might have sucked for Jana, I've gotta say her patience paid off because she won the Duggar Wedding Lottery. By far the most beautiful, classy, mainstream of all the kids. I will admit I'm pretty surprised by the off the shoulder dress, bridesmaid dresses, the first dance. I really think that overall in their personal lives they have probably become VERY lax on a lot of their older "rules" but I would have thought they'd at least keep them up in such a public setting like a wedding. 

I thought Jana looked stunning, and all her choices were beautiful. Everything looked very pretty, and I thought they looked very comfortable together. I'm sure they weren't taking it too far, but there's no doubt in my mind they probably kissed before marriage, were closer than the other siblings, and had alone time for dates without a chaperone. I feel like at some point even her parents have to accept that a 34 year old grown ass woman doesn't need to take a 12 year old girl along on dates to stay accountable. 

[RebeccaRay]

3 hours ago, xenobia said:

OK, since I counted the Duggar people, here's a try with the Wissman clan: 

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Loren&Gloria (Stephens parents)

Rachel&Alan + 3 kids (they have 4 kids according to Fundie wiki)

Ruth&Ryan + 4 kids. (they have 5 kids according to Fundie wiki). Only Ruth + one kid attended.

Josiah&Abi + 4 kids 

(Paul&Mrs Rehm that could be related to Abi, not counting them)

Bethany&Dan + 5 kids

(+3 Beasleys that could be related to Dan, not counting them)

Andrew&Kori + 2 kids

(+5 Knuth that could be related to Kori, not counting them)

Elizabeth

Matthias&Michelle + 3 kids

Mike&Chris Kingery (Michelles parents)

Hannah&Jer + 2 kids (also included in Duggar family, not counting them here)

Susanna&Drew + 1 kid (invited without kid, but they have one born in March)

Alaythia

Nathanael&Katrina + 1 kid

(Samuel&Melissa Sahlstrom + 4 kids.. I think Samuel could be Katrinas brother)

Charissa

That is at lest 42 Wissman-related people, probably closer to 50. 

I also counted at least 27 Bates-related people. So just the Duggars, Wissmans and Bates = around 170-200 people. 

 

Sam and Melissa are Katrina's parents and they have 4 kids still at home yet

[Baba O'Riley]

3 hours ago, Giraffe said:

My guess is pictures of JB, Anna*, Jill & Derick and maybe some others were explicitly banned from being posted but that they were all there. 

*she hasn't been in any pictures yet, has she? I know someone mentioned she could be seen in one of the shots but I couldn't spot her. 

She has.  I think the photo was on Reddit.  She was sitting at a table.  

[SassyPants]

23 minutes ago, LillyP said:

While I know the waiting might have sucked for Jana, I've gotta say her patience paid off because she won the Duggar Wedding Lottery. By far the most beautiful, classy, mainstream of all the kids. I will admit I'm pretty surprised by the off the shoulder dress, bridesmaid dresses, the first dance. I really think that overall in their personal lives they have probably become VERY lax on a lot of their older "rules" but I would have thought they'd at least keep them up in such a public setting like a wedding. 

I thought Jana looked stunning, and all her choices were beautiful. Everything looked very pretty, and I thought they looked very comfortable together. I'm sure they weren't taking it too far, but there's no doubt in my mind they probably kissed before marriage, were closer than the other siblings, and had alone time for dates without a chaperone. I feel like at some point even her parents have to accept that a 34 year old grown ass woman doesn't need to take a 12 year old girl along on dates to stay accountable. 

Earlier in the week, I watched the Vuolos podcast on Purity Culture on YouTube. One good point that Jeremy made was he thought some of Gothard and JB’s rules were pointless. He mentioned that if he and Jinger couldn’t go out for coffee, alone, on a Tuesday afternoon because Jeremy might not be able to control himself, then Jinger should NEVER go out with him at all because that would show that he does not have self control. Oh, and I guess J and J were not allowed to go for afternoon coffee alone per JB’s rule. They both agreed legalistic rules like those taught them nothing-

ETA- I can’t imagine the rules for 34 YO Jana were the same as they were for 19YO Joy when she was courting.

Edited August 17 by SassyPants

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Earlier in the week, I watched the Vuolos podcast on Purity Culture on YouTube. One good point that Jeremy made was he thought some of Gothard and JB’s rules were pointless. He mentioned that if he and Jinger couldn’t go out for coffee, alone, on a Tuesday afternoon because Jeremy might not be able to control himself, then Jinger should NEVER go out with him at all because that would show that he does not have self control. Oh, and I guess J and J were not allowed to go for afternoon coffee alone per JB’s rule. They both agreed legalistic rules like those taught them nothing-

ETA- I can’t imagine the rules for 34 YO Jana were the same as they were for 19YO Joy when she was courting.

It’s funny because not all fundies are that strict about being alone together before you’re married. JB just loves his control. 

I’m remembering Jessa all the way in the back of the chapel when Jeremy proposed. It seemed like she wanted to give them as much space and privacy as possible. 

[justmy2cents]

8 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s funny because not all fundies are that strict about being alone together before you’re married. JB just loves his control. 

I’m remembering Jessa all the way in the back of the chapel when Jeremy proposed. It seemed like she wanted to give them as much space and privacy as possible. 

I think that was Jinger giving Jessa and Ben more space, but yes, it was ridiculous that they needed a chaperone for that moment.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, justmy2cents said:

I think that was Jinger giving Jessa and Ben more space, but yes, it was ridiculous that they needed a chaperone for that moment.

Yes you are right! I got them mixed up. 

[marypat57]

22 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That’s a lotta flower girls. 

When my sweet nephew Tim got married in 2018, he and his lovely bride had 7 “flower girls”.  My nephew had 5 nieces, and his sweet bride had at least 2.  All of the girls wore the same white dress, and looked so sweet.  Not all of the girls walked down the aisle, because a few of them were still toddlers.

When my brother #5 got married, he chose his two godchildren as ring bearer and flower girl. It was a long aisle, and my mom had “incentives” for them at the end of the aisle.  The ring bearer  got a Thomas the Tank Engine toy, while the flower girl  (2 months short of her 3rd birthday) got a Skipper doll, and some lemon hard candies.  The Skipper doll was actually in a flower girl outfit.  
They both performed admirably.

[Meggo]

Just catching up. Good for her. For both the marriage and for out smarting the press. I have always thought she was a pretty private person so good for her, getting to do this on her own terms. Her dress is lovely. And I assume they didn’t do the “hand holding is just for engaged people” thing so also good for her.

re: the legalistic purity culture thing- why don’t these people ever trust their kids? Like you raised them- hormones aside- having being raised in such a strict culture would likely have meant that you could trust your kid to have coffee on a Tuesday afternoon without a chaperone..

my parents were suuuuper strict and weirdly obsessed with where I was at all times once I got a boyfriend. Assuming I was off fooling around etc anytime I wasn’t in their house. I was doing SOME stuff but not all the stuff they accused me of.

[Vivi_music]

8 hours ago, browngrl said:

3. 500 guests kept their mouths shut - that is some loyalty Jana and Stephan have built up to ensure this.

I agree that it's quite a feat that nothing leaked before the wedding day. But I got to say: 500 guests seems WILD! to me. I don't think I know 500 people I would invite or want to have at my wedding. Maybe me and Mr. Music could top 200 if we circled broadly, but that's about it.

I suppose in fundie circles though, the numbers go up quite easily considering everyone has an average of 10-12 kids.

[marmalade]

Saw a picture of Boob walking Jana down the aisle. He's scanning the crowd. Jana looks...determined? Probably wishing her idiot father would stay on task. 

[Audrey2]

I've said this before but it's been a while. 

I neither married nor had children, but if I had if they were old enough to meet the person that they thought they wanted to marry I would strongly encourage them to take a trip to a city that they are not familiar with and figure out how to drive around that city and that they need to go camping together for a week, preferably in a tent. What they choose to do from a physical standpoint is not my business.

I see both of these conditions as stressful situations that you really get to see how your chosen person reacts when things are less than perfect.

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

2 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

I've said this before but it's been a while. 

I neither married nor had children, but if I had if they were old enough to meet the person that they thought they wanted to marry I would strongly encourage them to take a trip to a city that they are not familiar with and figure out how to drive around that city and that they need to go camping together for a week, preferably in a tent. What they choose to do from a physical standpoint is not my business.

I see both of these conditions as stressful situations that you really get to see how your chosen person reacts when things are less than perfect.

Exactly. Also, go through an illness or surgery, and some life change: job loss, family death, etc. Though a well-practiced abuser can still keep the mask up for awhile, but there are little red flags along the way but it's so subtle at times or very obvious, but they're very good at it, some of them. 

[flowergirl]

Jana got married - and we didn't break the freejinger server and started 10+ new threads. 

So strange. I thought Janas wedding would still be a moment of craziness here. 

[AussieKrissy]

Just now, flowergirl said:

Jana got married - and we didn't break the freejinger server and started 10+ new threads. 

So strange. I thought Janas wedding would still be a moment of craziness here. 

That makes me a Little sad. I have enjoyed the fast paced more comments and returning posters this has caused. I miss the days of hot duggar threads. (For the interaction) lol and I’m a sad weird nerd

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

40 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

That makes me a Little sad. I have enjoyed the fast paced more comments and returning posters this has caused. I miss the days of hot duggar threads. (For the interaction) lol and I’m a sad weird nerd

I really thought the news would "break the Internet," at least here and DS subreddit. LOL  

[Howl]

9 hours ago, Meggo said:

re: the legalistic purity culture thing- why don’t these people ever trust their kids? Like you raised them- hormones aside- having being raised in such a strict culture would likely have meant that you could trust your kid to have coffee on a Tuesday afternoon without a chaperone..

The legalistic purity culture thing is an offshoot of the Old Testament patriarchal control thing, with an emphasis on control.  The patriarch has to have his house in order, which in patriarchal circles means absolute control, esp. over wives and daughters.  It's been interesting here on fj watching how this has spiralled out of control for so many couples as they've navigated real life, some even leaving Christianity all together. 

[FunDieDumDum]

6 hours ago, LongTimeLurkerOG said:

I really thought the news would "break the Internet," at least here and DS subreddit. LOL  

I’d have thought so, too! I think the only reason that didn’t happen is because they kept it a secret so well, up until the last moment! I only check in on fundies occasionally, and I was quite busy the last few days so only found out about the wedding a few hours ago…and that was only because a video popped up in my YouTube. At first I was like “yeah, right”, thinking it had to be fan fiction or something! 😂

It looks to have easily been the classiest Duggar wedding until now. Jana and Stephen looked very happy and seem to be quite comfortable with each other, kind of like JD and Abbie. This is no doubt due to their relative maturity compared to the Duggar kids who married very young.

I take Jana very much at her word regarding how she realized that she wanted to marry Stephen. She’s always seemed to be guarded and reserved, and given all that’s happened with her and her family it’s easy to believe she’d have trust issues…thus the story makes total sense. If anything, I’m surprised that she was that forthcoming with People magazine! I guess it means she’s feeling more confident and centered, and thus not afraid to share more than she has in the past.

It’ll be interesting to see if Jana keeps the revived YouTube channel going or not.

[justmy2cents]

I think another factor in this thread not going crazy is because we really don’t have a lot of info. We haven’t seen a video so we can’t talk about the ceremony, first kiss, or reception. We’ve seen some professional photos and not much else. I am surprised no one has ranked the dress in the Duggar Wedding Dresses (or whatever it’s called) thread yet. Maybe I’ll give it a go.

[SweetLaurel]

I can't find it now, but someone was saying about the house they will be living on wasn't on a lot of ground/yard. I wonder how much Jana relied on her brothers and the lost girls to help her with all the critters and gardens.  She always seemed to have a crew anytime anything was filmed or pictures.  It is one thing to have a hobby farm with help and quite another to do it alone. If she was at nursing school all day or studying all the time, someone was helping her. If she got a 102 degree temp, there was someone to step up and feed the critters.  I had a hobby farm for 3 years and it was exhausting. And the critters did not care how sick you were and the gardens needed harvested when it was time, no matter if you had finals or not.  She traveled a lot. Someone was there doing chores while she was gone. This will be the first time - unless his house is close to his smaller siblings, if he has them - she won't have a crew to help.  It will be a huge change for her.  I hope she loves it.   

[HereticHick]

I hope that their actual engagement was a private event involving exactly 2 grownups (and no photos!). I would love it if they did it the old fashioned way!!!

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I hope that their actual engagement was a private event involving exactly 2 grownups (and no photos!). I would love it if they did it the old fashioned way!!!

I have a feeling planes were involved. 

[TuringMachine]

8 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

That makes me a Little sad. I have enjoyed the fast paced more comments and returning posters this has caused. I miss the days of hot duggar threads. (For the interaction) lol and I’m a sad weird nerd

I think Josh's trial kinda raised the bar for what draws in the snarking crowd.. A duggar going to prison is way more interesting than yet another wedding, even if that wedding is Jana's.

I do agree @FunDieDumDum that we may have seen more engagement if there were more hints leading up to this. Everyone loves a mystery 😂

[Smash!]

8 hours ago, LongTimeLurkerOG said:

I really thought the news would "break the Internet," at least here and DS subreddit. LOL  

When the other weddings were happening, there was a show and much more public information was available through social media or (the old fashioned) blogs. Many couples have gone private since or don’t post much.

[LongTimeLurkerOG]

3 minutes ago, Smash! said:

When the other weddings were happening, there was a show and much more public information was available through social media or (the old fashioned) blogs. Many couples have gone private since or don’t post much.

I know. 

There's still been lots of speculation, etc. about Jana.