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Jana and Stephen 17: Married August 15


Coconut Flan

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1 hour ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

She's 34 and a daughter of Michelle. 

She probably won't have 10+ kids, but I doubt they'll be childfree. You never know, but if she's fertile like her mother she could have 5-9 kids, especially if she keeps having babies into her 40s.  Five kids is small compared to their respective families, but still a large family where I'm from. 

Of course being a daughter of Michelle, she's more likely to have twins...

9 would really be pushing it. If she's exactly as fertile as Michelle was at her age she'll have 7. Which is unlikely since she hasn't been pregnant for the past decade. Plus fertility isn't just a female thing. Sure, he's also from a large family, but that doesn't mean they'll be compatible. I'd say it unlikely they'll just happen to be  as compatible as their respective parents were. Even 5 would be a lot to expect at this point. Which is a good thing.

Edited by MariaariaM
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Just stopping by to add that I think Jana looks much younger than 34. Maybe it is so if you don't have any kids? Or she's just lucky to not age so fast. Or good make-up? Anyway, she looks gorgeous.

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20 minutes ago, Cupcake79 said:

Just stopping by to add that I think Jana looks much younger than 34. Maybe it is so if you don't have any kids? Or she's just lucky to not age so fast. Or good make-up? Anyway, she looks gorgeous.

Her make-up does make her look very different than normal. I saw a post on Reddit comparing photos and its mainly her lips that look different. I assume she did not get fillers but that means she got some heavy make-up.

 

 

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38 minutes ago, flowergirl said:

Screenshot_20240819_084829.jpg

First thought (and despite scumbag JB walking her down the aisle): Jana’s photo is a million times better than that of Nurie (Rodrigues) being squished between her parents and not even being the focus of attention on her own wedding day. WHILE WALKING DOWN THE AISLE. So in this regard, I’m very happy for Jana. She got a very lovely wedding! 

Edited by FluffySnowball
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1 hour ago, MariaariaM said:

9 would really be pushing it. If she's exactly as fertile as Michelle was at her age she'll have 7. Which is unlikely since she hasn't been pregnant for the past decade. Plus fertility isn't just a female thing. Sure, he's also from a large family, but that doesn't mean they'll be compatible. I'd say it unlikely they'll just happen to be  as compatible as their respective parents were. Even 5 would be a lot to expect at this point. Which is a good thing.

I realize 9 kids would be pushing it. I don't think 5 kids would be though. 

That being said, I don't think it's much of a sacrifice on the groom's part to marry a woman who probably can't 10 or more kids. She probably can still have kids so I think it's a little ridiculous to say he doesn't really care about having kids. 

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1 hour ago, FluffySnowball said:

First thought (and despite scumbag JB walking her down the aisle): Jana’s photo is a million times better than that of Nurie (Rodrigues) being squished between her parents and not even being the focus of attention on her own wedding day. WHILE WALKING DOWN THE AISLE. So in this regard, I’m very happy for Jana. She got a very lovely wedding! 

For anyone wanting to see the foto mentioned:

 

Screenshot_20240819_111142.jpg

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I agree with a lot of the assumptions that @Hera mentioned regarding the apparent trust issues. But I don’t buy into the whole fairytale idea of him pining for him and her finally discovering more feelings for him. 
Her comments do sound as if she was desperate to find someone. Nothing of the „in God‘s good timing“, waiting patiently and what not. She could have said that she prayed about it and knew that God would sent the right one. Or just saying that waiting was hard but she relied on God and is so happy for Stephen. The being unhappy about being unmarried was very paramount. To me, she confirms that there was heavy pressure by others and herself as well as desperation. Just because she didn’t just take anyone doesn’t mean she was pushing it off deliberately but rather that she got some leeway and had successfully trained her siblings so that she didn’t feel the need to escape the parentification at home. Who knows if she refused suitors or if they didn’t cut it in JB‘s questionnaire. 
I am more confused about Stephen. So they dated and then she broke it off, but stayed in contact and he made it clear he was still interested? Because that could also easily translate into him making sure she didn’t forget that she still held some heart pieces of him. For someone raised with her beliefs that could easily put some pressure on her to accept his courtship. I don’t know. Her statements didn’t read like the ordinary understated recapture of an organic development. It sounded very detached. I am not sure she is relieved about being with him but rather happy to be married. They will probably start ttc straight away and I agree that we will see at least 5 children. I also don’t doubt that Jana will raise them with the same methods she used to raise her siblings. I don’t care if they get to watch cartoons but they sadly will probably grow up with them same expectations, emotional pressure, corporal punishments and bad education. Well at least we can hope they will not be molested, starve and be as parentified as she was herself.
Not saying that taking more into consideration than lust and infatuation is a bad thing. Being also practical in choosing a life partner is definitely a good thing. 

Apart from that, I absolutely love her dress. New favourite for me. 

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3 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I realize 9 kids would be pushing it. I don't think 5 kids would be though. 

That being said, I don't think it's much of a sacrifice on the groom's part to marry a woman who probably can't 10 or more kids. She probably can still have kids so I think it's a little ridiculous to say he doesn't really care about having kids. 

I agree. His sister married at 33 and has 5 kids, so it’s not like he doesn’t know that you can still have a good number of children even marrying later. I think they fully expect to have children.

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14 hours ago, HereticHick said:

When Mr. Hick and I were dating one of our first big arguments was how to build a campfire! 😄 Turns out we had very different and very strongly held views on the topic!!

Before we were engaged or married - we took a trip to drive around Ireland for about 10 days. Every time in the 24 years since - that this trip is mentioned, we both roll our eyes. He wanted to read EVERY.SINGLE.SIGN - in Irish. Which he doesn't speak, read, know about etc. So he read every sign. Badly. I was seriously ready to kick him out of the car (we'd been together 2 years - and he was driving me BONKERS). 
HE on the other hand - says that he was going to propose to me on the Cliffs of Mohr but that I was being such a biotch - he couldn't do it. 
Obviously - we've figured it out, been married 22 years in October but OMG I was ready to push him off the cliffs. 

 

8 hours ago, Smee said:

Me too. Looking at how happy they look in those photos, the kisses, the way they look at each other, and Jana's story of him waiting and respecting her, it's easy to imagine a romantic storyline and mutual friendship. But they're total strangers to us, and it's certainly still possible that he's a narcissistic arse who other fundie girls ran from so he carefully stalked Jana and lovebombed her until she gave in thinking he was the bees knees and she didn't deserve anyone, let alone him. Just coz he's conventionally handsome doesn't mean he's kind. However, for Jana's sake, I hope he is as decent as they come and she has a marriage filled with mutual respect and shared interests and a manageable number of kids (if any).

The inner dynamics of the Duggar household continues to fascinate me, because you've got Josh, who grew up to be a criminal and married a woman who will not leave despite it being in the best interests of her many children, followed by JD and Jana who had what look like the healthiest attitudes towards dating and marriage, followed by Jill who seemed to race Jessa down the aisle and into motherhood as soon as she could, only to leave the cult and write a tell-all. Then Jessa with her pastor husband and five blessings, continuing down the road of least resistance to her parents' teachings. I wonder about all the crossover dynamics and how they influenced each others' choices as they all navigated adulthood after their weird and very public upbringing.

They fascinate me too. JD because- despite it all- seems to be the most normal of them all. Flies under the radar (no pun intended but I'm leaving it there because- yeah), marries someone who is still fundie-ish, but as a grown up, both having jobs, both having had lives aside from the family "ministry". So how did he manage to duck & weave to get through all the crap? How was HE effected by his big brother - who he said he looked up to - molesting his kid sisters? I think he's been interviewed about it and assume it did really rattle him. But good for him to seemingly come out on the other side, devoted to his wife (remember when he painted her nails?) with a reasonable sized family, still staying off the radar. 
And I hope that Jana saw that and held out for that level of normal. 

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9 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

That was sarcasm, right?

image.png.86da3638c8e13eea7dfe27e068e99b33.png

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3 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I agree. His sister married at 33 and has 5 kids, so it’s not like he doesn’t know that you can still have a good number of children even marrying later. I think they fully expect to have children.

Unfortunately she had an ectopic and lost an ovary. So she may be done. Her fertility was high until that ectopic. 

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1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Unfortunately she had an ectopic and lost an ovary. So she may be done. Her fertility was high until that ectopic. 

I did see that. That her last pregnancy ended with an ectopic, which is sad. She seemed really happy when she got a girl after four boys, so if she is done, she is probably happy to have a daughter. 

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I absolutely expect them to want kids - and they likely will have a couple - but if Stephen had absolutely wanted his own football team he'd've very likely married a younger woman. 

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8 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Her make-up does make her look very different than normal. I saw a post on Reddit comparing photos and its mainly her lips that look different. I assume she did not get fillers but that means she got some heavy make-up.

 

 

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Thank you for posting the comparison photos! It’s been driving me nuts trying to figure out why she looked SO different and because nobody else mentioned it, I was starting to wonder if I was imagining it! 😅 I assumed she hadn’t had a nose job and fillers, but she looks so wildly different to me.

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3 hours ago, Meggo said:

Before we were engaged or married - we took a trip to drive around Ireland for about 10 days. Every time in the 24 years since - that this trip is mentioned, we both roll our eyes. He wanted to read EVERY.SINGLE.SIGN - in Irish. Which he doesn't speak, read, know about etc. So he read every sign. Badly. I was seriously ready to kick him out of the car (we'd been together 2 years - and he was driving me BONKERS). 
HE on the other hand - says that he was going to propose to me on the Cliffs of Mohr but that I was being such a biotch - he couldn't do it. 
Obviously - we've figured it out, been married 22 years in October but OMG I was ready to push him off the cliffs. 

 

Oh my gosh that's where my middle daughter got engaged! Funny, we were living in the Bahamas for my husband's work many many years ago. His one brother and girlfriend came to visit, and we knew that he was going to propose on a carriage ride the last night they were visiting. They fought the whole week over scads of little things, all having to do with vacation. It was the first time they had traveled together anywhere far away. We were wondering if there would even be an engagement by the end of the visit! There was, and they've been married now 25? years. Traveling can be super stressful!

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21 minutes ago, MariaariaM said:

I absolutely expect them to want kids - and they likely will have a couple - but if Stephen had absolutely wanted his own football team he'd've very likely married a younger woman. 

Agreed. Jana's also seen enough of her siblings become parents to multiple children that she might not mind only having three or so. I know my thoughts and expectations on what parenting would be like massively changed after watching my siblings become parents. 

Edited by Giraffe
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I find it amazing when women who were parentified and raised siblings when they were children have any interest at all in having their own. 

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7 minutes ago, noseybutt said:

I find it amazing when women who were parentified and raised siblings when they were children have any interest at all in having their own. 

She might take a cue from Abbie Duggar. She only has 2 and they are well spaced. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jana only wants 2 or 3. Because she’s already raised so many. 

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On 8/17/2024 at 8:56 AM, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I would be annoyed if my dress shop publicized this. Of course, I’m old, and Jana’s family has broadcast numerous wedding-related near-disasters. But Jana is so organized and such a planner that I wonder what happened.

My theory was that she knew there was no way she'd leave a bridal shop without being photographed. She was already counting on 500 people keeping their mouths shut and managed to leak her own engagement ring photo. Putting off getting the license and the wedding dress until the day before was their best bet on keeping things from the public until the last minute. Risky with the dress! But she could have shopped online and had it down to a few dresses and made sure that shop offered last minute alterations.

The People article was to pay for the wedding she wanted. She is awkward in what she says but if my family was in the chaos of Josh's trial and the expectation of my continuing to court was a quickie marriage in the midst of that, I would have said, "I just can't do this right now. It's not you, I just can't handle both of these life changing events concurrently while the media is critiquing every little thing." It hope that Stephen is a good as he appears and understood his friendship meant more than courting in that moment. She needed emotional support not the pressure of putting on a circus wedding for the media as a distraction from her pedophile brother's trial.

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I saw that Jana and Stephen’s house they are moving to is in Lincoln, NE. I live in Lincoln and have my whole life so I’m wondering if I’ll ever see them in the wild! Lincoln isn’t tiny though, population is about 270,000 and their house is an area that I don’t frequent. It’s kind of a fugly house. I’m sure they’ll make it cuter but it’s definitely not the best of what Lincoln has to offer location wise. Close to the interstate going west which is where his family/business is so that’s probably why they picked the location. 

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41 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She might take a cue from Abbie Duggar. She only has 2 and they are well spaced. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jana only wants 2 or 3. Because she’s already raised so many. 

I think that John and Abbie have probably been a model for Jana when it came to what she was looking for personally. 

17 minutes ago, nolongerIFBx said:

. She is awkward in what she says but if my family was in the chaos of Josh's trial and the expectation of my continuing to court was a quickie marriage in the midst of that, I would have said, "I just can't do this right now. It's not you, I just can't handle both of these life changing events concurrently while the media is critiquing every little thing." It hope that Stephen is a good as he appears and understood his friendship meant more than courting in that moment. She needed emotional support not the pressure of putting on a circus wedding for the media as a distraction from her pedophile brother's trial.

I think this was a big part of it. I think she knew her wedding would always get attention and she could not handle that in the aftermath of Josh’s trial (and possibly how her dad would have tried to spin it) and I think that is why she broke it off and if that is the case and Stephen was just patiently waiting for her to be ready, then I respect him for it.

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47 minutes ago, Monkeywrench said:

I saw that Jana and Stephen’s house they are moving to is in Lincoln, NE. I live in Lincoln and have my whole life so I’m wondering if I’ll ever see them in the wild! Lincoln isn’t tiny though, population is about 270,000 and their house is an area that I don’t frequent. It’s kind of a fugly house. I’m sure they’ll make it cuter but it’s definitely not the best of what Lincoln has to offer location wise. Close to the interstate going west which is where his family/business is so that’s probably why they picked the location. 

My aunt lives in that area. My mom lives on the northeast side. I'm in town once a week. I'm also wondering if I will see them. 

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10 hours ago, flowergirl said:

For anyone wanting to see the foto mentioned:

 

Screenshot_20240819_111142.jpg

And IIRC, Jill was also psyched Josh Duggar was there and made him the center of the reception. 🤢

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3 hours ago, MariaariaM said:

I absolutely expect them to want kids - and they likely will have a couple - but if Stephen had absolutely wanted his own football team he'd've very likely married a younger woman. 

Just my thoughts on this topic…I can’t imagine very many people (men or women) who were raised in a family with a dozen or more children wanting to have/ raise a huge family. IMO, for most people, the time, energy and costs associated would drive most to veto such an idea. Perhaps, the less mature and logic would think otherwise. And for people who had experienced that kind of upbringing, especially females who were relied upon to do much of the work, that experience alone could greatly help to influence their decision on family size.

I have read that most of the married Wissman offspring do not have huge families.

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