Bro. Gary Hawkins 26: A Scandal in the Pulpit

[thoughtful]

Gary has deletd all of Justin's comments, and left one more for him:

That "you are so making GOD sick" went through my mind in the voice of a sulky pre-teen.

[Joyster]

Gary, the railer, used FB (world stuff) to again try to teach the world it “wicked.” He don’t go the way of the wicks. 

[thoughtful]

Oh, Henry, you are in for it now:

[Xan]

I'm so happy for Gary that it's almost Halloween again.  He does love it so.  I admit that he talks a good game about it being wicked and calls it Helloween but it's the one time of year that old Gary feels like he's on a solid footing.  He is absolutely better than almost everybody else on Halloween.  They don't see it for what it is but Gary knows that it's Satan's holiday and the devil is just trying to get his foot in the door with handing out candy to small children.  You can even call it Trunk R Treat and pass out tracts but Gary isn't fooled.  Even now, he's probably on his phone looking up memes on how evil Halloween really is.  

There's nothing he likes better than a good enemy and Gary has decided that Satan is real and is partying hard every Halloween.  Saving the world all comes down to Gary and he finds himself equal to the challenge.

[Expectopatronus]

I’m curious as to whether or not Gary would eat a Hallowe’en cake if someone sent him one. I’m not going to; I live in a different country and would never harass anyone by sending anonymous gifts but given his love for free food, would he eat the cake or pitch it in the garbage? 

[Carol]

33 minutes ago, Expectopatronus said:

I’m curious as to whether or not Gary would eat a Hallowe’en cake if someone sent him one. I’m not going to; I live in a different country and would never harass anyone by sending anonymous gifts but given his love for free food, would he eat the cake or pitch it in the garbage? 

I think he would, justifying it by removing all references to Halloween and, well, we shouldn't waste food.

Edited Monday at 06:14 PM by Carol

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

I’m curious as to whether or not Gary would eat a Hallowe’en cake if someone sent him one.

Now, this is an interesting question.

If he turns his back, and Becky scrapes off the icing ghosts and spiders, is that OK?

What if it's not a cake? How Halloween-ish (yes, I purposely avoided "Halloweeny") does something have to be for Gary to reject it? Is candy corn of the devil? Does he worry that his eating from a marked down bag of small candy bars bought in November will be shown on the big screen in heaven? What about Sweetzels Spiced Wafers, with their orange and black box (those damned satanic Pennsylvanians!)?

Spoiler

Is Gary on one of his diets (so he can serve the LORD better, not because he cares about this life or vanity or any of that heathen stuff, just so you know) - if so, turning down Halloween themed food might be easy.

It's amazing how complicated the psychology of a simpleton can be.

[postscript]

37 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

the psychology of a simpleton

Too bad we’re early in the thread. That would be the perfect Gary thread title. 

[Alisamer]

On 10/9/2024 at 8:09 PM, Joyster said:

I love the Gary thread during October. Helloween strikes again!

  Hide contents

The comments are also amusing. You can tell Gary doesn’t like Phillip’s Happy Hallelujah Festival. No wickedness for him! And Christmas, well, Gary celebrates the birth of CHRIST.

  Hide contents

Gary-related news:

King James Bible College voted to have a day-to-day administrator last night. With this change comes a new FB page and email address. Chris Howe, president, has graduation pictures from their ceremony on his FB. 
 

Family Baptist took the assistant pastor information off its staff tab on its website. The church secretary is still listed. 

LOL I notice they're on about Halloween, and someone's asking about Christmas, but none of them have seemed to notice Ostara sitting there...

Apparently Gary is totally OK with using "world stuff" or "pagan holidays" for Christian purposes - just not Halloween because it's SpOoKy. Christmas and Easter are totally OK though. Probably because they got co-opted for bigger Jesus life events, while Halloween is more Catholic. And Catholics aren't the right kind of Christians for Gary.

[thoughtful]

13 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Apparently Gary is totally OK with using "world stuff" or "pagan holidays" for Christian purposes - just not Halloween because it's SpOoKy. Christmas and Easter are totally OK though.

Well, he does insist on calling Easter Resurrection Sunday. And he eschews many of the trappings of Christmas (bonus - it's a great excuse not to buy or make gifts for others), and brushes off the date as probably inaccurate. His sermons near Christmas, IIRC, dwell very briefly on the birth of Jesus (emphasizing the stinky setting), then go right back to his usual gory death and glorious resurrection focus.

But, yeah, he can really dig in to Halloween because it wasn't already co-opted for Christianity hundreds of years ago.

[Caroline]

5 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Now, this is an interesting question.

If he turns his back, and Becky scrapes off the icing ghosts and spiders, is that OK?

What if it's not a cake? How Halloween-ish (yes, I purposely avoided "Halloweeny") does something have to be for Gary to reject it? Is candy corn of the devil? Does he worry that his eating from a marked down bag of small candy bars bought in November will be shown on the big screen in heaven? What about Sweetzels Spiced Wafers, with their orange and black box (those damned satanic Pennsylvanians!)?

  Hide contents

Is Gary on one of his diets (so he can serve the LORD better, not because he cares about this life or vanity or any of that heathen stuff, just so you know) - if so, turning down Halloween themed food might be easy.

It's amazing how complicated the psychology of a simpleton can be.

Wasn't it zany Candy Brauer who used to say that Satanists had put spells on the  Halloween candy at Wal-Mart? Or was that another Halloween hater?  I love Halloween more than Thanksgiving but not more than Christmas. I'm neutral about Easter and July 4 in case anyone cares😎

[Expectopatronus]

My kid is super excited about Hallowe’en. She is going out as Elsa this year. Gary would not be able to grasp this concept but she answered the rhetorical question this Sunday (today is Canadian Thanksgiving) of « What are you grateful for? »  with «  Mommy, Grandma, Auntie, my cousin and God ». My not yet five year old can grasp celebrating Hallowe’en as a fun holiday and still believing in God. So, where does that put Gary developmentally? 3.5? 

[thoughtful]

Che k our new to come online college!

[Joyster]

The college is getting all fancy. It now has lectures, and Gary is listed as one of the instructors. Unfortunately (or fortunately), he hasn’t taped any lectures yet. It’s an old photo of Gary.

King James Bible College

ETA: I realized when you click on his picture, you get more details. He is lecturing on the book of John. It’s supposed to be out 11/30 (there’s  a countdown), and if you purchase the course, you can leave a review.

Spoiler

 

Edited 3 hours ago by Joyster