Fundie-Lites on Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta

[SquirrelySquirrel]

Ugh, a white wedding gown was a sign of wealth back in the day, not an intact hymen. I believe the veil was the purity banner. I have no idea why or when these traditions got so mixed up.

[bicyclecat]

A white wedding gown was a symbol of wealth as most cloth used for clothing would be a darker color, to hide the dirt stains. Streets weren't paved back then and clothes became very dirty very quickly from being dragged through dirt, mud, snow and other things. This is also the rationale behind the bridal train. It's a thumb to the nose and says "I'm so rich that I can have this expensive white cloth just lying in the dirt and I'm just too rich to care."

The bridal veil was designed to protect the bride from evil, in the form of kidnappers and spirits. In India and other countries that practice arranged marriages, the bride wears a veil until the ceremony is over, so the groom doesn't have a chance to back out, if me doesn't find the bride attractive.

Nothing at all to do with virginity or purity. Everything to do with pagan beliefs and snobbery.

I did really laugh at the SYTTD episode that featured the Duggars. It was one of the first glimpses of how undisciplined the younger children have become and put a really fine point on the fact that the Duggar's modesty beliefs are REALLY out there. Michelle has no problem with the world knowing when her period is due, but she can't handle a bridal consultant helping her into a dress? Odd, very odd.

[Guest Anonymous]

I did really laugh at the SYTTD episode that featured the Duggars. It was one of the first glimpses of how undisciplined the younger children have become and put a really fine point on the fact that the Duggar's modesty beliefs are REALLY out there. Michelle has no problem with the world knowing when her period is due, but she can't handle a bridal consultant helping her into a dress? Odd, very odd.

I must have gone to fetch a soda for that part of the episode. I spent six years in bridal and never had a bride turn down assistance in the fitting room. (Some of these fabrics can be quite delicate, assisting brides into the dresses also helped protect the merchandise.)

[keen23]

I took my Mom & my sister to buy my wedding dress. I had picked out the one that I wanted from a magazine- I just fell in love with the picture of it, and I knew it would look right on me. So it was the first one that I tried on. I knew it was the dress for me (and shockingly inexpensive, at under $400). But then my Mom went all Mother of the Bride on me and insisted that I try on 10+ more dresses. I humored her, and tried them, including ones that were so not me it wasn't funny. When she was satisfied with the playing dress up, we went back to the original dress, and bought it right off the rack, because the sample dress was a perfect fit. The bridal consultant tried to sell us a dress a full two sizes bigger "so that we could alter it for a custom fit" which I called BS on.

[Guest Anonymous]

She must have been getting a kickback from the seamstress. Alterations can be a huge pain, take time the consultant could be using to sell a dress to someone else, and generally are a money loser if your seamstress is on staff. (I gave my seamstress her space, she provided her equipment and kept all of the alterations fees whether the gown was purchased from us or not.)

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Oh god, I would sooner wear pj's to my wedding than bring my partner's mom along for dress shopping. She would probably just sit there, glare, and mutter "Das ist nicht gut" (that is not good), because that is what she does whenever I am around... :roll:

If we do get married, I am going for a decently-priced (like no more than $300, max) vintage dress, and I don't care if it looks like a traditional wedding dress or not...just something pretty and flattering, which I can wear again.

[bicyclecat]

I must have gone to fetch a soda for that part of the episode. I spent six years in bridal and never had a bride turn down assistance in the fitting room. (Some of these fabrics can be quite delicate, assisting brides into the dresses also helped protect the merchandise.)

IRRC, the consultant expressed similar sentiments. She was sitting outside and said something to the effect that she'd never had that kind of experience before and didn't really know what to do. It was just really odd. I mean... it's not like the cameras had to be in there for that moment. It was one woman helping another into a bridal gown. Hardly defrauding in any way. It seemed like it was a lot more for show, than because Michelle was actually uncomfortable.

[Terrie]

Ew, the reason a lot of dresses are a little off-white is because it's an easier color to wear. People won't think you're more virginal just because your dress fluoresces.

:lol: Not to mention how washed out most people look in white.

[thoughtful]

A white wedding gown was a symbol of wealth as most cloth used for clothing would be a darker color, to hide the dirt stains. Streets weren't paved back then and clothes became very dirty very quickly from being dragged through dirt, mud, snow and other things. This is also the rationale behind the bridal train. It's a thumb to the nose and says "I'm so rich that I can have this expensive white cloth just lying in the dirt and I'm just too rich to care."

The bridal veil was designed to protect the bride from evil, in the form of kidnappers and spirits. In India and other countries that practice arranged marriages, the bride wears a veil until the ceremony is over, so the groom doesn't have a chance to back out, if me doesn't find the bride attractive.

Nothing at all to do with virginity or purity. Everything to do with pagan beliefs and snobbery.

And a fad -- Queen Victoria was married in white, and it became the fashion.

http://blog.catherinedelors.com/queen-v ... ear-white/

[clarinetpower]

Olivia, gorgeous!

I went shopping with my mom. I tried on the same dress at 3 different stores before I realized it was the same (we took photos). It was the dress. I ordered it in ivory (after calling every bridal shop in the state to get the best price).

My mom, who was very proud of her own virginity on her wedding night, said, "Ivory? But everyone will think you're not a virgin!"

I said, "Mom, we've been living together for 18 months. They're going to know."

I got my dress. And all my bridesmaids wore ivory, too. Outdoors, it was gorgeous. ;)

[FireIsCatching89]

My mother, when she got married, had been living with my dad for three and a half years and everyone clearly knew this and knew the shenanigans that went on, so she basically just said "fuck the patriarchy!" and went with a tea-length peach silk dress. Like, an Easter dress. Oh, and definitely no father walking the bride down the aisle and presenting her to her husband (which my mom's friend calls the "pigskin pass-off") and a guitarist instead of organ music.

Oh yes, my parents are aging hippies, how could you tell?

Now, my mother says to me if I expect her to attend my wedding, I have to live with the guy for at least a year before getting engaged and have lots and lots of premarital sex. She told me this out loud, in a restaurant, the week before I left for my first year of college. Thanks, mom.

[ladypuglover]

Here is one interesting site explaining victorian wedding customs and why women wear white. Maybe this is why fundies think white means virgin?

http://www.literary-liaisons.com/article003.html

[marmalade]

Here's my offering....modest enough, eh?

That is until I turned around.

:angelic-green: NIKE!!!!

FWIW, my fundie-lite mother helped me pick the dress, which had a lace handerchief hem rather than the full shebang; at 5 feet on a good day, I didn't want to be swallowed up by a full gown for a very casual service at the 'rents' house.

[DamnPrecious]

Here's my offering....modest enough, eh?

That is until I turned around.

:angelic-green: NIKE!!!!

FWIW, my fundie-lite mother helped me pick the dress, which had a lace handerchief hem rather than the full shebang; at 5 feet on a good day, I didn't want to be swallowed up by a full gown for a very casual service at the 'rents' house.

Your headship looks very happy. :D